Constantine’s Kids

"Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Danny scolded me for the next 45 minutes."

DCxDP prompt

Dani was completely flawless in everything she did, or so she proudly stated to everyone, which was true to some extent. She handles most of the missions handed to her by the Justice League dark with flying colors, she was sometimes called in to replace Constantine when the man was unavailable, finding lost scrolls, and performing magic she could do with ease, but she was not perfect she knows that well.

So, when she accidentally angered one of the most powerful demons to ever exist dangering not only herself but also the whole embassy of the Justice League, up to the main heroes and then down to Young Justice, Dani knew she kinda fucked up and made an error in her calculations on how much she could taunt the said demon, and now everyone was panicking which was...

Not an ideal condition for her because when everyone panics, she also starts panicking, not because the demon she angered was now spewing threats here and there (which was one of the corniest villain monologues she had ever heard).

No, she was afraid considering that since she had disturbed the peace between the living and the supernatural which was technically the dead if you based it on the horror movie franchise —BUT that was not the point, the point is that she cannot control the current situation, and that means she needed to get help from her....Brother....Eugh.

'Let's just get over this.' she sighed as she grabbed a dagger from her chest cavity, Dani's movements caught the eye of everyone present in the room, the ones that weren't occupied by the demon were watching her carefully to make sure the little ghost doesn't make anything worse than it is.

One, Dani closed her eyes.

Two, she took a deep breath.

Three—then she sliced her palm with the dagger, green ectoplasm oozing out of the wound.

Four. Everyone panicked.

Five. Finally, A portal surfaced.

It took only five seconds for Danny to head her call, exactly 20 minutes to calm the dispute happening, and 7 seconds for Phantom to regain his composure to look at his younger sister in the eye.

Dani avoided eye contact with her brother, not just her brother, while also avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room at the same time, whistling innocently as if nothing had ensued, Dani tried her luck and glanced at the levitating figure a few paces before her.

Phantom looked so done and constipated at the same time, Dani wanted to take a picture and show it to Dan afterwards.

"I'm at a loss for words."

"Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Danny scolded me for the next 45 minutes."

Okay okay, but imagine if Danny just stalks Damian. Like, he has decided that he shall become this child’s unofficial guardian angel. Because Ancients know he needs it. 

So, one time Damian and Jon are out and Jon wants to go to the Arcade but Damian just says something rude and then…

Danny: *whispering in Damian’s ear* You should be nicer to your friend

Damian: Huh?! *looks around, only to find nothing* 

And that’s not all. Over time, Damian starts noticing how this strange presence as he calls it starts acting more and more. Whispering advice or words of encouragement in his ear (or just flat-out scoldings), making items he had misplaced magically appear back on his room the next day, protecting him from any surprise attacks any time he lowers his guard (which happens very rarely). 

Heck, once he even brought him a starving kitten he saw once in an alleyway that he was planning to adopt anyway! 

The Batfamily is aware of it. They refuse to do anything because they are far too amused. If anything, they give Damian a thumbs up and a “good luck" before sending him his way. 

It all ends up becoming too much for Damian to tracks down Constantine and tells him; 

Damian: I am being haunted. This annoying pest won’t leave me alone. Get rid of it, or else! 

Danny: *whispering on his ear again with a Disappointment Mom voice* What did we talk about? 

Damian: *sighs and cringes at the same time, before putting on a smile that looks more like a grimace* Please? 

you know what's funny? all the Justice Leage|DC x Danny Phantom crossover fics, that start with or otherwise include the premise of the Justice League (often led by Justice League Dark, and John Constantine in particular) summoning the new Ghost King to ascertain his threat status.

like. there's something very human about that. believing that, because you have named yourselves the defenders of your world, that you have any authority to demand answers of interdimensional royalty -- of anyone, really. the Green Lanterns, sure, they're quite literally a universal force and are such recognized. but only thru the lands that agree to that or are included in a sector that is under any Lantern Corps jurisdiction.

the Infinite Realms are under no one's jurisdiction but their own, so the thought of the justice league demanding answers from them is akin to a random child coming up to you in the airport and demanding you give them something. like, I'll entertain this conversation cause you're adorable but also, you have no power here, child. where is your adult?

and, from what I've seen, no one can get Constantine to do what he doesn't want or need to do. not even Batman, who is just a man.

so he'd love to be holed up in the House of Mysteries, leaving the capes to mess around and find out. but then that would make it his responsibility, so he's there to oversee the summoning and step in if neeeded, but personally has no desire to add another curse to his coat.

anywho, I'm just imagining the Justice League summoning Ghost King Danny and demanding answers and, like any teenager who knows he'll have no repercussions for doing so, he tells them to fuck off (imagine, if you will, the same joy you feel when your parents say that you're allowed to go against the rules in school because the rules are arbitrary and self-serving at best and harmful at worst, and you won't get in trouble for it even if you get detention/suspended at school)

and they're all aghast cause, what? who do you think you're talking to? and Danny's all, no, who do you think you're talking to? I am the King of the Infinite Realms, Protector of Amity Park, Keeper of the Stars, *insert all his other random titles a la Thor and Loki stalling*, and you do not make demands of me, mortal. then he just dips, cause really? a tiny lil containment circle? ha!

what artists dont tell you is that every compliment is actually 100 compliments because they'll go back to re-read it 100 times and it'll make them feel fuzzy all over again every single time

There’s that temper of yours again.

Starlight Toy Galore and Repair Center

"So this is what B wanted us to go under cover and investigate on?" Dick said, looking around the very colorful space theme background toystore.

There were several dozen children running around, some from the streets playing in a playground section, having the time of their life, trading with the owner with their own old broken toy for his toys.

Damian already betrayed them and got sucked into the extra cute extra fuzzy what seemed to be an off-brand of baby alive, blob aliens in another section where there was a bunch of other aliens like toys.

Dick is struggling to keep a hold onto Tim with all of his strength, considering he is eyeing at the awesome looking tech section with a coffee stand corner for adults and parents to chill while the kids play around.

The reason why they were here was that This store wasn't here before 9 months ago and only just got in their radar when a mini green smiling husky three legged puppy with a blue bow toy Keychain of one of hostage in Joker's torture on live to Gotham City spontaneously tripled in sized to a massive adult husky and process to mauled the joker alive in live tv. The sobbing hostage refused to give his toy Keychain close to his chest as he kept mumbling that Milly saved his life once more.

The owner was Danny Nightingale, a very, very tall blind man with extremely long black and white hair in multiple braids with toy crystalized flowers that moved, a frosty blue crown on his head covered in flowers as well. A gentle slim giant of a man who offers a variety of unique, wacky yet creatively fun toys not even for sell but as a trade.

They were supposed to grab a toy for analyzing! Not run around playing with everything!!

And there goes Tim.

Dick sighed as he pressed fingers between his nose before looking up to a section that had a bunch of mini glowing green animals-keychains in a circle rack.

What caught his eyes was one little baby elephant with a circus theme that reminded him too close of zitka.

He couldn't look away, nor could he stop himself from gently picking the Keychain.

A little cute button on the head top garment on the elephant that he pressed lightly.

A tiny, cute elephant noise came with a tiny sprinkle of water squirt out the elephant trunk with a tiny light of starlight rainbow shimmer, which made a smile grow on his face.

Dick ended up trading his bat burger stamped coupons, already walking out, seeing that Tim and Damian were already out with their toys in hand.

Tim was typing on a new tech gimmick toy that looked like Ghostbusters ripoff with glowing humaniod ghosts, and damian fascinated with a a jar full with a swirling bat like blob with a tag that said I am gimgim, thank you for adopting me.

"Well.. B didn't specifically have to give him the toy to analyze." Dick said out of thought before two pair narrowed eyes look back at him, holding their toys closer to their chest.

Dick narrowed his eyes back at them, holding his newly named zitka Keychain in his hand.

Part 2 here <-

"Danny did you do something with my boss's bike?"

Danny stared at the lake where Jason's bike now rested at the bottom, "I uhhh... moved it."

"Were?!!!"

Danny coughed awkwardly. "Uhm. Give me a second."

"........ was that explosion on the bridge because of you?"

".... no?"

"Please tell me that my boss' bike isn't at the bottom of the lake because you decided to hotwire did it and then take a ride before picking a fight with a villain on the bridge."

"Okay, then I won't."

"...."

"...."

"Danny!!"

"I'll get it back! Just give me a few minutes, I swear!"

"You're so dead! No, you're going to be even more dead when I'm done with you! Daniel J. Fenton! Get that bike back or so help me—"

————

Two people stood in front of the Red Hood, one who was whistling nervously while the other had her arms crossed irritatedly. Behind them was a dripping wet motorbike.

Red Hood stared at them blankly.

"Wolf? Do you want to explain?"

Through gritted teeth, Wolf said, "Please don't worry about it, Hood."

"My bike is wet."

"... brilliant observation."

Red Hood sighed and looked up at the sky for a moment before he looked back down and then shook his head silently, still speechless.

Wolf wilted and then said, "I'll pay you back, Hood."

Red Hood sighed. She was so cute sometimes and he was weak.

He ignored the sudden death glare from Wolf's little brother, waved a hand, and then said, "Alright, I'll come back in a few hours and I want my bike to be fixed, dry, and running, capiche?"

There were two mumbled, "Yes sir"s, before Red Hood turned away with a shake of his head.

No wonder Wolf was so weirdly competent. With siblings like that, she was probably running herself ragged.

Danny's rogues have been spreading a little misinformation.

In their defense, it was really funny.

They've been spreading the word via Ouija boards, seances, and any other attempt to speak with the dead that Phantom is the High King of Ghosts.

Except that position doesn't really exist.

Sure, they called Pariah Dark the King of Ghosts, but that was at his own request.

The Infinite Realms are vast, with many different cultures and lands, and there are a lot of Kings. It's not a special title, honestly, it's just the title used to delegate who, in a culture, has to put up with talking to the Observants.

So they decided to get the little shit back for stopping them from playing in the Living world. They're just tryna have fun!

And destroy stuff.

But destroying stuff is fun!

As is telling a shit ton of flesh puppet idiots that Phantom, that scrawny kid, is the "High King" of the Realms.

This resulted in him constantly getting summoned to cult summonings, running him ragged and giving them, his rogues, more time to play.

But uh.

Ember is starting to think they may have fucked up.

Because babypop just broke down into a sobbing, heaving panic attack at the sight of her.

She manages to get out of him that he hasn't slept in three days.

And like.

He's half living?

He's supposed to sleep more than that?

Yeah they fucked up.

Ugh.

She's gonna have to go talk to them, isn't she?

So that's how a meeting between Justice League and Justice League Dark gets interrupted by the ghost of a rock star, with a living teenager having one of the worst panic attacks any of them have seen in awhile cradled in her arms, asking Justice League Dark to invent an amulet that prevents Summonings.

redraw of that meme going around. i know danny would do this shit

I need more of Danny and Sad Tench-coat man/Tired Dad Constantine

Danny gets summoned by the Justice League and it’s playing along as the terrifying Ghost King when Constantine bursts through the door to ask them ‘What the bloody hell they think they’re doing?!’ Before he spots Danny and just sighs

Danny however just does a 180 from >:( ‘Big bad Ghost King’ to :D “Constantine!”

Everybody is just watching as Danny opens a portal to his office and reaches in, pulling out Constantine’s ridiculous amount paperwork.

Danny: :D

Constantine: nO-

Danny Does like spending time with Constantine, and spends time and even stays over in the House of Mystery when he needs to take a break from King Stuff-

Constantine: What are you doing in my house…what are you doing in my hOUSE

Danny: I want Waffle Fries 🟢w🟢