Both The Real Life Osamu Dazai And Fyodor Dostoevsky Drew.

idk if it's been explored yet how fyodor's ability opens up insane fyolai dynamics like i'm pretty sure fyolai shippers gotta be ready to have prime quality angst content for breakfast lunch and dinner but now you get a full on five star seven course meal 24/7, 365, made of bernadette animatics and tears of blood

like what do you MEAN his ability is to take over the person who finally kills him, stripping them of their will and freedom in the most visceral way possible, until they become his everything? what do you mean that knowingly killing him now would be, perhaps, the ultimate act of going against human instinct to so thoroughly give yourself and everything you are up to this person who can now use you in such a complete sense of the word?

shut UP and don't talk to me about the possibility of nikolai finding out or knowing about his ability and still wanting to bury a dagger into fyodor's heart - except maybe not, because he remembers the burst of the helicopter and tower, he remembers the still-warm limp hand clutched in his own, he wonders if that agony was humanity, there goes the one person, the one person-

and fyodor, would he hesitate at all? what's one more person after all these years of living on stolen time? or would he bleed at nikolai's hand and wonder even for a second if maybe it's time to let it all end, that his suit and hat and cards wouldn't suit fyodor anyway, that maybe those mismatched eyes might not be a sacrifice he's willing to pay

imagine the sheer devotion it would take to look him in the eye and kill him, killing yourself, the ultimate lovers' suicide really, dazai should be jealous, because here is a bond that can rival the stars, like a single free dove reviving a demon from the pits of hell, carrying him on white wings, because he is the only person who ever understood

imagine fyodor opening his eyes in that offered body and looking at his own hands and knowing they will never be clasped so happily again, no one to look at him without fear, no one bold or deranged or maybe just lovely enough to offer him a friendship bracelet with one hand and stab him with another

do you think nikolai would kill him, die for him, die with him, free himself from the world by becoming a vessel for a hell he loved. do you think fyodor would even care.

This really makes a lot of sense…you know

how I'll sleep knowing we may get Fyodor's backstory tomorrow

[ID: Sigma sleeping in bed. End ID]

SOOO LIKE everyone should go read @theloudguy beautifully written fic The Princess Who Carries the Blood of the Goddess Had to do fanart for one of my fave scenes!! Whoever loves main character Zelda has got to read this fic no exeptions!!

-Lisbeth

I drew this back in october a few days after the last episode of season 5. It's been a while but I wanted to post it anyway^^

+ close up

I hope Fyodor is in Nikolai's body now and that he's forced to experience Nikolai's love for him in such a way that he can't escape because he's joined them irrevocably. I hope it does something deranged to his psyche to parasitically gorge himself on someone who had, with utter, grief-stricken sincerity, mourned him.

I hope Fyodor drowns in the horrifying waves of intimacy as he subsumes the only person who didn't need a lobotomy to adore him.

finally drew the main doa together :>

what if fyodor somehow managed to transmit like a million totally and wildly fabricated memories to sigma just to throw him and the ada off and he was actually born in 1990 with normal parents who did normal things who raised him normally and he’s just like that for the bit

So reading the regis / nox/ noctis headcannons, snippets, and lil noct notices how nox shies away from ignis and gladious and im wondering when does that stop? Does it stop? It would have to, after prom gets brought in wouldnt it? Like nox starts being in their company a lil longer and a lil longer over and over. Also what are iggy and gladdys reaction to lost prince nox and how he seems to avoid them?

It eventually stops, yes, well after Prompto comes into the picture, though some days (usually in the aftermath of a really bad Quiet Day) Nox still sometimes leaves the room abruptly when they’re around. None of them know why, though they all have theories. Prompto is, perhaps not surprisingly, the closest to guessing, but that’s because of them all Nox has slipped up around Prompto the most when he “first” met him and because Prompto is an artist, and artists tend to Notice Details. Prompto has never forgotten how the kindly prince called him Prom when he shouldn’t have known his name and how he bought a kid a stupid-expensive camera without hesitation. He has ALSO noticed Nox’s earrings, and unlike Gladio and Ignis who think they’re just Nox’s personal preference, Prompto thinks that they are MEANINGFUL in their seeming randomness. Prompto thinks that all four of them remind Nox of himself and three very close friends. That Nox lost those friends well before he was discovered by Regis and that looking at them interacting with Noctis sometimes reminds him too much of the people he’s loved and lost. He never shares this theory with the others or Nox, so he never knows just how right he is.

But on Iggy and Gladio:

-Ignis is … Concerned™. He may be a prodigy child, but he’s still a child andall his intelligence really does is make his imagination more vivid in this instance. He spends the first several months being on Constant Vigilance around Nox in case the teen tries something. In case he wants Noctis’s status as Crown Prince for himself. He doesn’t like how skittish Nox is, or how Nox tends to go quiet when ignis is in the room, or how Nox sometimes just- leaves without so much as a by your leave. He doesn’t like it At All™ and it takes Noctis throwing a tantrum about Ignis “scaring his brother away when he’s just hurt and sad” to make Ignis stop bristling like a cat whenever he’s around.

-AFTER Ignis takes a few chill pills and really starts to look at Nox, observe him from discreet distances and listen to the servant gossip, his opinion changes. Clearly Nox Is Trauamatized™. Clearly he is overwhelmed with his new status and just needs time to adjust. Surely Ignis is imagining Nox’s agitation in his presence. Nox is probably just agitated in general and when he leaves it’s for some other reason than Ignis’s existence.

-But as time goes on, and especially as he looks back on it once he’s older, Ignis concludes that he was NOT imagining things. That Nox really did go to great lengths in the early days to avoid being in the same room as Ignis and Gladiolus and later Prompto (that Prompto was the major reason he finally made an effort to stop that, because Prompto is Sunshine Incarnate and nobody wants to make him cry). Like- Nox was learning to cope in their presence before Prompto, but it wasn’t until AFTER Prompto that Nox would actively seek them out rather than just accept their presence if they entered a room he happened to be in.

-Ignis thinks it probably has something to do with Nox’s past and the mental issues he hears the doctors mutter about, but how Ignis or Gladio set off those things he hasn’t the faintest idea.

-Ignis does, at some point, realize that Nox literally cannot say no to Ignis on 90% of topics. It’s Noctis who figures it out first and shamelessly abuses the fact to get Nox to either take care of himself or hang out with Noctis, but Ignis once Ignis realizes just why Noctis keeps asking Ignis to go ask Nox something … Ignis is curious. And Concerned™. He starts pushing his cooking on Nox and tries not to be Very Alarmed™ when Nox straight up cries (silent and slow but there) the first time Ignis makes him something. Ignis is also one of the only people who can get Nox into a Tux, though sometimes Ignis thinks that Nox gets frustrated with his own inability to say no, so Ignis makes a point not to abuse this knowledge.

-He still wonders though. And sometimes…

-Sometimes, after a day spent in Nox’s company, he sleeps, and dreams, and wakes up crying from a profound sense of loss and regret and love so deep it hurts and the sense of calloused hands holding his own.

-He can never remember what the dreams are about.

-For Gladio-.

-Dislike. Major dislike at first. Nox shows up before Noctis saves Iris from being lost, so Gladio’s opinion of non-Regis LCs is Pretty Low™ from the get-go. He’s also eleven years old and maybe a little arrogant, and he’s just old enough to know that what it means that Nox is from an affair. And that Nox is part Nif because his Uncle is Nif.

-So yes. Bristly bby Gladio who huffs and puffs and is about as threatening as a wet puppy. Nox still avoids him A Lot, Gladio just thinks its because he’s scared of Gladio. Or a flake like Noctis. Or just a wimp in general. Or something.

-Then one day Gladio sneaks into the training arena to watch his dad and Cor train and sees Cor spontaneously challenge Nox to a spar. Nox not only keeps up with the famed Immortal, he BEATS HIM and suddenly Gladio is rethinking all his previous opinions about Nox. Unfortunately, now that he wants to hang around Nox (this prince is way cooler than the one Gladio is stuck with no fair) he discovers that Nox AVOIDS HIM LIKE THE PLAGUE and this is now a problem.

-Gladio being Gladio, he aggressively starts trying to follow Nox from room to room and ends up Really Stressing Nox Out until Axis steps in and threatens to yeet Gladio into the royal pool if he doesn’t Knock It Off and Leave His King Alone. Gladio sneers and demands to know who died and made Axis Shield. Axis’s eye twitches and two seconds later Gladio is both very wet and very miffed and Nox is nowhere in sight.

-Clarus ends up being the one to convince Gladio to stop chasing Nox around the Citadel, but is unable to answer why Nox avoids him so.

-Stuff happens and Gladio eventually gets along with his own prince, and Bonding Via Trauma happens when Cor starts happily throwing Noctis, Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto to the wolves a delighted Nox who forgets all his hesitations the moment Cor says he’s can fight them however he wants. Gladio never does figure out why Nox avoided him in the beginning, or why sometimes even years later he’ll quietly just- get up and leave the room, but that’s okay. That’s just one of Nox’s Quirks and if the dude needs some quiet time sometimes then fine. Whatever. Just as long as Nox shows him how to pull at off that cool broadsword move he used to kick Gladio’s butt in the last spar.

-And sometimes, after a hard day of training with Nox, he sleeps and dreams and wakes up with tears in his eyes and his forehead and chest stinging with scars that aren’t there and a name on his lips he can’t remember. Sometimes he wakes up in time to see the dawn and the sight of the rising sun makes him sob for reasons he can’t remember.

Canon dark era fr