So If I Understand Fyodor's Ability Correctly-

Sunset Road Trip

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ohmigods! That last snippet! Am dead from cuteness! I mean the in universe implications are kinda terrible for those not in the know, but still. Cute af. May I ask for more brotherly interactions? Only if you're up to sharing your thoughts of course :D I am LOVING everything about this.

Sure! Lemme see what I can jot down real quick.

-Nox acts … a bit odd around Noctis for at LEAST several months (and will occasionally revert to that oddness even years later). Stiff when touched, stammering when talking, sometimes unable to look his little brother in face for all it’s clear to anyone with eyes that he LOVES Noctis to no end. Regis thinks its a side-effect of his upbringing (he already suspects that Nox is touch starved, but add to that a cheerful little half-sibling who likes to spontaneously touch Nox and wrap his magic around Nox in greeting-affection-attention? Regis mourns even as he goes about trying to help acclimate his son to positive touch from people other than Ardyn).

-Noctis is the initiator of contact for the longest time. Hugs, conversation, casual hand grabs, you name it, he’s probably done it to Nox and then patiently chatted his way through Nox’s instinctive freeze. Because Nox always snaps out of it and interacts eventually, and at this point Noctis  A D O R E S  Nox okay? He has a big brother who is totally EPIC and COOL and isn’t always too busy for him like his dad and is totally fine with playing Kings Knight instead of doing homework, and has all sorts of cool hunting stories and-

-There is some serious hero worship going on at first okay? And Nox CANNOT figure out how to deal with being looked up to by his YOUNGER SELF. It’s honestly hilarious and sad at the same time, and Ardyn alternates between instigating more contact between them and rescuing his nephew from death by confusion via being the Cool Uncle.

-Eventually though, as Nox begins to relax around his little brother counterpart and hang out more easily … Noctis beings to notice that something is … not wrong exactly, but … off about Nox. That it isn’t normal for Nox to always walk around with his armiger just beneath his skin, ready to draw a weapon at a moment’s notice, that the Quiet Days Nox and Ardyn have aren’t quiet so much as Painful, because Noctis is even more magic sensitive than Regis and he can feel the thick grief-love-mourning-exhaustion that clings to Nox’s bones on those days. The way Nox (and Ardyn too) feel like today is a day to lie down and just- never get up. Nothing Noctis does can break Nox or Ardyn out of their Quiet Day, even though they never raise a hand against him even in their worst moments, so eventually Noctis learns to come find them and curl up against one or the other’s side, radiating at much love and good thoughts through his magic as he can so that they know they aren’t alone.

-Nox and Ardyn appreciate the gesture more than Noctis will ever know.

-But it isn’t always angst and caution. Noctis is not like Nox, he’s brighter and happier and so earnest that it’s infectious. Noctis essentially has Nox wrapped around his little finger, and when Noctis isn’t busy with the tutors Ignis won’t let him escape from, he can usually be found trailing after Nox like a puppy, asking questions and begging to join in whatever Nox is doing (if Nox uses this as a chance to train Noctis in magic and fighting, then nobody comments. If those practice sessions usually end in Nox tickling Noctis into submission while the latter squeals with laughter and joy, Ardyn is the only one who dares interrupt, and Regis has about half a dozen pictures framed on his study desk).

-These two grow up to be super tactile with each other. Nox because he’s touch-starved and Noctis because he figures out that Nox needs touch and they both enjoy mingling their magic together (Cor comments once that their magic is so in sync and similar they might as well have been twins born seven years apart, Ardyn laughs himself sick for reasons no one dares ask about). Tackle hugs, arms over shoulders, smooshing into the Smallest Space Possible on the couch when watching movies because Noctis likes using Nox as a pillow are all very common (not during game though, because Nox is a cheater who isn’t afraid to use tickling as a weapon).

-Only time Noctis is ever really trying to get AWAY from Nox is during training once Noctis is a teen and his training starts getting Serious. Because Cor’s favorite tactic is to yeet the Chocobros into an obstacle course or arena with Nox as their sole opponent and tell Nox to “Go wild”. Nox has way too much fun doing just that (channeling his Uncle’s trolling tendencies to a scary degree in the process) and the Chocobros inevitably end up wheezing helplessly on the floor to a man, each aching in places they know intimately know they have from prior reenactments of this very same event. Noctis never, ever wants to go up against Nox for real, especially since his madman of an older sibling is always FINE at the end of the spars. Barely breathless and still so full of magic he can casually spam healing spells to get them back on their feet.

-Noctis went though a jealousy phase when he was 14-15, because Nox was so much BETTER at stuff than him either in combat or talking nobles in circles. It lasted approximately until the first time Noctis actually tried to do the Brat Teenager Thing and said something INCREDIBLY spiteful only for Nox to go very, very Quiet and just- leave. For two weeks. Wasn’t even in the Citadel. Ardyn actually got angry at Noctis for that and told Noctis that he had no idea what Nox had been through to get as good as he was. Noctis told his uncle to prove it, Ardyn left and came back twenty minutes later with Nox’s Citadel medical file. It had info on all his checkups and doctors notes since first coming to the city. Pictures of his scars, how underweight he was, his suspected trauma issues and what probably caused them.

-When Nox finally slunk back to the Citadel, magic curled in and subdued like a flinching dog, the first thing Noctis did was run to his brother and hug him tight, crying/apologizing the entire time. Noctis never told Nox that he’d seen Nox’s file and Nox was too glad that the jealousy phase was over to question it.

-Nox once borrowed (kidnapped) Noctis when his little brother was eighteen to go on a brother-bonding road trip around the country to show his sibling how to survive in the proper wilds and what the kingdom of Lucis was really like. He genuinely forgot to tell Regis or anyone else about this, so by the time Axis and the Chocobros track him down (with Ardyn’s bemused help) the Citadel had gone beyond Meltdown and straight into Murderland. Nox wasn’t sorry, and Noctis was having the time of his life as long as he wasn’t being chased by cactaur while Nox sat on a high ledge and laughed at him (Nox is at this point perhaps a little TOO big of a believer in learning on the job).

非常好分析使我的眼睛流泪

crying because "a shallow bond" is exactly what caused fyodor's own downfall.

his lack of trust in nikolai, shown by not just taking the antidote right then and there. shown by being cold towards his friend and simply getting in the helicopter with no further words. the fact that, if he had stayed outside with nikolai or even beckoned him in the copter, he'd probably still be alive.

fyodor called dazai & chuuya's bond shallow but never faced the fact that his bonds are shallow as well.

dostoevsky's downfall begins with his sentence, "are you unfit to utilize a gravity manipulator?" with this sentence about chuuya, fyodor sums up his relationships with everyone who cares about him most. he sees them as tools to be used, not people he can rely on.

with ivan, who would literally give his life for him, fyodor brings him into battle once and casts him aside (which, by the way, stupid move fedya. ivan could've saved his ass too!)

with karma, who was nothing more than a boost for fyodor to get back on his feet.

with nikolai, who saw something in fyodor nobody else did, a friend. who tried to form a connection, to see beyond the "demon" in dostoy. who got cast aside anyways because fyodor doesn't see the value in other people's love.

fyodor's lack of trust makes his bonds shallow, which in turn makes him "need" to manipulate others so that he still gets his way. it's a vicious cycle for him, with the path of "trust" and "faith" in anyone else being too long and winding for his ambitious heart. once again, the path straight forward has nothing at the end.

I love how in anime everyone always treats the sound of a helicopter like it's a soft background noise while in reality that scene would look like this:

Dazai: But you see… You can't kill m-- Fyodor: What? Dazai: I said, you can't kill… Fyodor: What?? Dazai: YOU-- Fyodor: WHAT

I drew this back in october a few days after the last episode of season 5. It's been a while but I wanted to post it anyway^^

+ close up

after i posted caps regarding ann’s feelings towards her costume, an anon asked if i had any interest in redesigning it, so here’s my attempt! i also threw together a kinda messy AOA card with it as well. [ process gif here ]

many of the notes above cover my thought process, but under the cut i get a little more into detail on a few specific references i took inspiration from!

note: if you’re gonna get mad that i covered up your 16 year old waifu’s chest, please do us both a favor and block me instead of writing a comment i’m definitely not going to read.

继续阅读

Im fucking done 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀 link.

Canon dark era fr

So reading the regis / nox/ noctis headcannons, snippets, and lil noct notices how nox shies away from ignis and gladious and im wondering when does that stop? Does it stop? It would have to, after prom gets brought in wouldnt it? Like nox starts being in their company a lil longer and a lil longer over and over. Also what are iggy and gladdys reaction to lost prince nox and how he seems to avoid them?

It eventually stops, yes, well after Prompto comes into the picture, though some days (usually in the aftermath of a really bad Quiet Day) Nox still sometimes leaves the room abruptly when they’re around. None of them know why, though they all have theories. Prompto is, perhaps not surprisingly, the closest to guessing, but that’s because of them all Nox has slipped up around Prompto the most when he “first” met him and because Prompto is an artist, and artists tend to Notice Details. Prompto has never forgotten how the kindly prince called him Prom when he shouldn’t have known his name and how he bought a kid a stupid-expensive camera without hesitation. He has ALSO noticed Nox’s earrings, and unlike Gladio and Ignis who think they’re just Nox’s personal preference, Prompto thinks that they are MEANINGFUL in their seeming randomness. Prompto thinks that all four of them remind Nox of himself and three very close friends. That Nox lost those friends well before he was discovered by Regis and that looking at them interacting with Noctis sometimes reminds him too much of the people he’s loved and lost. He never shares this theory with the others or Nox, so he never knows just how right he is.

But on Iggy and Gladio:

-Ignis is … Concerned™. He may be a prodigy child, but he’s still a child andall his intelligence really does is make his imagination more vivid in this instance. He spends the first several months being on Constant Vigilance around Nox in case the teen tries something. In case he wants Noctis’s status as Crown Prince for himself. He doesn’t like how skittish Nox is, or how Nox tends to go quiet when ignis is in the room, or how Nox sometimes just- leaves without so much as a by your leave. He doesn’t like it At All™ and it takes Noctis throwing a tantrum about Ignis “scaring his brother away when he’s just hurt and sad” to make Ignis stop bristling like a cat whenever he’s around.

-AFTER Ignis takes a few chill pills and really starts to look at Nox, observe him from discreet distances and listen to the servant gossip, his opinion changes. Clearly Nox Is Trauamatized™. Clearly he is overwhelmed with his new status and just needs time to adjust. Surely Ignis is imagining Nox’s agitation in his presence. Nox is probably just agitated in general and when he leaves it’s for some other reason than Ignis’s existence.

-But as time goes on, and especially as he looks back on it once he’s older, Ignis concludes that he was NOT imagining things. That Nox really did go to great lengths in the early days to avoid being in the same room as Ignis and Gladiolus and later Prompto (that Prompto was the major reason he finally made an effort to stop that, because Prompto is Sunshine Incarnate and nobody wants to make him cry). Like- Nox was learning to cope in their presence before Prompto, but it wasn’t until AFTER Prompto that Nox would actively seek them out rather than just accept their presence if they entered a room he happened to be in.

-Ignis thinks it probably has something to do with Nox’s past and the mental issues he hears the doctors mutter about, but how Ignis or Gladio set off those things he hasn’t the faintest idea.

-Ignis does, at some point, realize that Nox literally cannot say no to Ignis on 90% of topics. It’s Noctis who figures it out first and shamelessly abuses the fact to get Nox to either take care of himself or hang out with Noctis, but Ignis once Ignis realizes just why Noctis keeps asking Ignis to go ask Nox something … Ignis is curious. And Concerned™. He starts pushing his cooking on Nox and tries not to be Very Alarmed™ when Nox straight up cries (silent and slow but there) the first time Ignis makes him something. Ignis is also one of the only people who can get Nox into a Tux, though sometimes Ignis thinks that Nox gets frustrated with his own inability to say no, so Ignis makes a point not to abuse this knowledge.

-He still wonders though. And sometimes…

-Sometimes, after a day spent in Nox’s company, he sleeps, and dreams, and wakes up crying from a profound sense of loss and regret and love so deep it hurts and the sense of calloused hands holding his own.

-He can never remember what the dreams are about.

-For Gladio-.

-Dislike. Major dislike at first. Nox shows up before Noctis saves Iris from being lost, so Gladio’s opinion of non-Regis LCs is Pretty Low™ from the get-go. He’s also eleven years old and maybe a little arrogant, and he’s just old enough to know that what it means that Nox is from an affair. And that Nox is part Nif because his Uncle is Nif.

-So yes. Bristly bby Gladio who huffs and puffs and is about as threatening as a wet puppy. Nox still avoids him A Lot, Gladio just thinks its because he’s scared of Gladio. Or a flake like Noctis. Or just a wimp in general. Or something.

-Then one day Gladio sneaks into the training arena to watch his dad and Cor train and sees Cor spontaneously challenge Nox to a spar. Nox not only keeps up with the famed Immortal, he BEATS HIM and suddenly Gladio is rethinking all his previous opinions about Nox. Unfortunately, now that he wants to hang around Nox (this prince is way cooler than the one Gladio is stuck with no fair) he discovers that Nox AVOIDS HIM LIKE THE PLAGUE and this is now a problem.

-Gladio being Gladio, he aggressively starts trying to follow Nox from room to room and ends up Really Stressing Nox Out until Axis steps in and threatens to yeet Gladio into the royal pool if he doesn’t Knock It Off and Leave His King Alone. Gladio sneers and demands to know who died and made Axis Shield. Axis’s eye twitches and two seconds later Gladio is both very wet and very miffed and Nox is nowhere in sight.

-Clarus ends up being the one to convince Gladio to stop chasing Nox around the Citadel, but is unable to answer why Nox avoids him so.

-Stuff happens and Gladio eventually gets along with his own prince, and Bonding Via Trauma happens when Cor starts happily throwing Noctis, Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto to the wolves a delighted Nox who forgets all his hesitations the moment Cor says he’s can fight them however he wants. Gladio never does figure out why Nox avoided him in the beginning, or why sometimes even years later he’ll quietly just- get up and leave the room, but that’s okay. That’s just one of Nox’s Quirks and if the dude needs some quiet time sometimes then fine. Whatever. Just as long as Nox shows him how to pull at off that cool broadsword move he used to kick Gladio’s butt in the last spar.

-And sometimes, after a hard day of training with Nox, he sleeps and dreams and wakes up with tears in his eyes and his forehead and chest stinging with scars that aren’t there and a name on his lips he can’t remember. Sometimes he wakes up in time to see the dawn and the sight of the rising sun makes him sob for reasons he can’t remember.

i really believe that discussing the character with someone who shares ur interpretation is the closest u can get to modern day philosophy. we are like plato and aristotle but talking about a fictional guys trauma