So Idsb Gives Me Heart Attacks, I Can't Anymore And @taylorswift Is Going To Perform It Live On The AMAs,

Don't blame me for loving red ♡

So RED season just started and I'm an emotional mess

This made me delicate 😂

SO

She raised her voice after YEARS of speculation, hate etc. and I love her for that! She's amazing. People who always hated her for that. And honestly there were many, I don't know how many videos I've seen, where she was criticized for not raising her voice, for not having a political opinion.

But she finally did it and earns all my respect for it. And in such a time @taylorswift did the right thing!

Prayers out for your Dad!

It's sad that things like this are still so critical to handle.

@taylorswift

Please send any good thoughts/vibes/prayers to my dad who had a sudden and critical heart attack ❤

This past week has been an absolute nightmare. My dad had cold and flu like symptoms early in the week, we didn’t think much of it, but took him to the doctor. They initially thought it was pneumonia and suggested to take him to the ER at our local hospital in Buffalo, NY.

Once at the hospital, he got an EKG and it was determined he had a heart attack. They took him in to help him and do further examination and his heart stopped where they had to bring him back. He came back, but his heart rate was bouncing around at different rates, called afib. He was put on an Impella machine to help pump blood to his heart and help his natural heart rest. He also had a breathing tube put in because his lungs have a lot of fluid in them. He was then stable for a bit of time, until they did a scan on his heart and found he had a blood clot inside of his heart.

Since he has the blood clot in his heart, they are worried it might get dislodged and the travel route would go straight to his brain to cause a stroke or brain damage. They were nervous that his brain function would be damaged from the heart attack due to losing oxygen to his brain. Luckily, his brain function is still there, since he follows basic commands from the nurse, such as wiggling his toes, gripping his hands, ect. Now that the blood clot is in his heart, they needed to take the Impella pump out of his heart, which was essentially saving his life…and insert an ECMO device in its place. The ECMO helps pump his heart and also helps with his lungs. It oxygenates his blood for him since his own body can’t. This could be a major risk and cause problems to his system, but it had to be done in order to avoid the blood clot from moving.

The doctors in Buffalo successfully inserted the ECMO and he was stabilized. However, this machine is like a life support to keep him going. It is unknown how much he could actually handle on his own to work his body. During the ECMO surgery, he did have to be shocked to start his heart 3 times. But, this did bring him back and got his heart out of afib and his heart rate was steady.

Due to all of the medicines he is on for sedation, pain, blood thinners to avoid clots, insulin for his diabetes, blood pressure and more…they caused some damage to his liver and kidneys. They told us that he may need dialysis to assist in flushing out the fluids in his body since he can’t on his own. But would monitor it.

Since the hospital in Buffalo only has so much equipment and knowledge of my dad’s critical condition, they suggested us to move to another hospital that is about 2 hours from where I live. They have more advanced care in terms of cardiovascular treatments. So, of course we agreed to that. Anything to help him out. So, the team came to get him from Rochester, NY. The transition was smooth and went well. They kept him stable.

We travelled to Rochester to be with him, of course, and things have been stable for the beginning of being here. He was taken off his blood pressure medication since he was staying stable on his own. His hear rate has been stable, oxygen levels have been good, blood sugar levels also good. They still said he had fluid in his lungs and body which they need to get rid of. But were monitoring his situation more.

He is currently hooked up to a continuous dialysis machine, which is of a less shock to his system than the typical dialysis most people get. This type sort of imitates what his kidneys would do and helps flush the fluids out at a gradual pace. He needs to get the fluid out of his lungs in order for them to take steps to take the breathing tube out, to see if he can breath on his own.

Since the ECMO machine has quite large tubes, the site of insertion needs to be closely watched in case of any bleeding. And especially since he is on blood thinners, he is likely to bleed a lot more and the bleeding is harder to stop since it won’t coagulate as fast as normal blood would. Last night, his ECMO site started to bleed a bit, but they are trying to keep in under control. He also has bleeding on his neck from the dialysis port. Due to the blood loss, he now has to get a blood transfusion. Right now, they said it is a small amount, but it could possibly be more. Sometimes this may cause other complications as well.

I have stayed overnight in a hospital waiting room for multiple nights with my mom while we were in Buffalo. I drove us to Rochester in order to follow my dad and keep up with all that is going on. We are now staying right in the area to be close since we live 2 hours away normally. We are around quite a bit and we do talk to him, even though he can’t talk with us. I tell him I’m here for him and I’m always going to be. I tell him how much I love him and how everyone is sending their love for him too. It’s been such a struggle to try and be and strong as I can through this absolutely scary time. I want to be strong for him. I want to be strong for my mom. I’m trying to make sure we take care of ourselves too in this time of crisis. It’s just so much all at once.

If anyone could send their good thoughts and vibes his way, I would appreciate it so much. If you are one to pray, all prayers would be appreciated as well. He is in a very, very critical state currently and things are still unknown of what could happen. He needs all the support he can get.

I want to say that all the care that he has recieved from starting in Buffalo and transferring to Rochester has been absolutely amazing. All the people who are working to heal my dad have been nothing but excellent. We couldn’t be more thankful for everything they have and are doing to help him.

All we can do now is wait. Time is what’s needed to heal. Even very very small improvements are ones we can be happy about since that would mean he is going forward and not back. Staying positive is what we have to do. We are staying strong as we possibly can. We love him so much. He is my buddy and I’m so close to him. We do a lot together. Let’s hope we can continue to have more fun memories and get him healthy again. I absolutely am scared. But, I can only hope for the best and be here for him and my family.

Thank you to anyone who has been sending their well wishes and positive comments. It means so much to me and my family. ❤

Would be amazing!

~A Concept~

@taylorswift @taylornation for TS7 secret sessions invite international swifties!

Amazing story! @taylorswift

Dear Taylor, Love Taryn

Taylor,

I don’t know where to begin. This could be a novel to be honest if I let it (I won’t). One huge thing I love about your concerts is no matter how huge they are, you introduce yourself “Hi I’m Taylor and welcome to the  ___ tour” and it cracks me up, because 60,000 people obviously bought tickets to see you, so maybe I should do that first. Hi! I’m Taryn! Thank you for (hopefully) reading this. I’m from Brisbane, Australia and I have been a fan of yours for 10 years now. With my love of music, I have tried to see as many bands and musicians over the years, but yours are honestly the best moments of my life. The way you interact with the crowd is so intimate, despite being a sold out stadium or arena. Every single person is screaming the lyrics in their costumes they have spent months making. No other artist or band has the presence you do, you literally light up an entire stadium. The speeches you make are incredibly intimate, as if we are just talking to you over coffee, and they are relevant to every age group that is there. I just turned 30 and I feel like you are writing about my life half the time. You have this ability to make every single person feel special and thats what makes you different from everyone else out there.

I have had a particularly bad two years. I worked incredibly hard towards what I thought was my dream career and trusted people I shouldn’t have, put people’s feelings above myself because thats the type of person I am. I was bullied endlessly because I was promoted above someone else, and due to that persons jealously I ended having to give up my career because she falsified evidence against me. People believed her and despite having lawyers involved, I lost everything. I am not proud of this but the day I found out I had lost my career, that I spent 5 years studying and 4 years working in, I felt like wanted to die. I sat in my car, completely lost, crying for 5 hours because I was scared of what I was going to do. So I listened to your music. Like I do every day and have every day for the last ten years. I lost friends because they don’t want to hear “I’m not doing so well” for the third time that year. You got me through the hardest time in my life. I literally “rose up from the dead”. I could pick out a lyric from each song and relate it to an experience that I have had, and it’s crazy cause I feel like you wrote them for me and after reading so many other fans experiences, its seems like that is such a common thing and that is incredible. When you sang Change as a surprise b stage song I lost it, that song means everything to me “it’s hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair” “but there’s something in your eyes says we can beat this” is what I cried to for days after putting on a brave face while getting grilled by officials for hours for things I didn’t do.

Now on to happier things. I couldn’t wait for Reputation to come out. It came at the perfect time, I had been dealing with this awful situation and with everything you had dealt with, to come back with this incredible album, to basically f*** everyone else and do this for us, it gave me so much confidence and strength back. I am eternally grateful. It is so empowering. You are a huge role model, especially for woman, to stand up for themselves. Your trial will go down in history. It was SO important and I don’t think you get enough credit. Lyrically Reputation is amazing. It’s my favourite album for many reasons but personally, I now know I really needed it. So did my now husband. 1989 on repeat for three years was a bit much for him, he was even asking when the new Taylor album would be out. We actually got married on the 13th (!) Of May this year, our first dance song was ‘You Are in Love’, and one of the craziest things was I wrote notes for a year and a half for my vows and I had in there “I woke up just in time” because we were best friends for a year and a half and he waited for me even though I said no when he told me he liked me. I lost it when I heard dress for the first time. So in my vows I had that in there and it was my little secret. I also added in “I remember what you wore on the first day” from the song you co wrote ‘Two is Better Than One’ because I did remember and I think thats so romantic. We are all hopeless romantics right? (Also I wrote you a song, well a rhyme, to the tune of Love story 😂, see below). I have also met incredible friends through your music, once again like no other artist out there, you bring people together from all over the world, and I’m more than grateful ❤️

It is my dream to meet you this era, I feel like this era is the one I relate to you the best, cause I am fighting to get my reputation back and rising up from the dead (for the 4th time) in my small world, while you are out there being bad-ass Taylor showing everyone you don’t take peoples shit anymore. And I couldn’t be more PROUD. I’m going to be in Sydney (by myself ahh) section B3-1 Row B Seat 10 and Brisbane Snake Pit 1. You have been my constant over the last TEN years, always there for me and I will always be there, supporting you, I STAY.

Love Taryn

P.S Pictures of my tattoo have been floating round Tumblr and I hope you have seen it but I’m going to put another picture in anyway. Enchanted, was my first, played 30 times a day song, I just played it over and over, I was obsessed. I still am. Combining it with a flower from my wedding bouquet seemed fit.

@taylorswift @taylornation

Forever and always xxx

Reblog this if you stream IDSB

So, a little report about the idsb performance. When it started, I stood up like it was an anthem or something like that. And when @taylorswift started singing I began to cry and shaking and I was sinking to the floor because I was so shocked that she sung the tour version. And then I told myself to enjoy it, cause this was something magic and special. So I basically danced crazy af in my room at 2 am. I was screaming the lyrics with no voice, because everyone was sleeping and I didn't want to wake up anyone. I was on insta til 2:30 am and then I decided to go to sleep, but I couldn't. It was so amazing and I was so done with my life. I'm grateful that I'm currently in the autumn holidays xd

@taylorswift look what you made me do!

So today's the day, were some people might fall from their couch because @taylorswift who was whether going to be beeped away or gonna say live in TV 'shit', for the first time ever. Yasss Queen

Me waiting for it like: