Life is not an experience void of joy, so instead of yearning for value, go do the things that give you value!
Their power grows
In Denmark, we have a popular song which has the line "Man siger efter stormens pisken kommer solen frem, men den hjælper sjældent dem der er blevet våde", which basically means "After the storm the sun comes out, but it rarely helps those who became soaking wet".
When your life stabilises it doesn't mean you should suddenly feel alright. It means you can now BEGIN to heal and dry off.
You don't have to force yourself to bounce back so quickly. I read something recently that said "when you come in from a rainstorm, you don't expect yourself to be dry and warm right away", and it really resonated with me. It's okay to take time to dry off and warm up. Take the time you need to process what happened to you.
Because they are sure as shit looking at you.
Eyes of the forest. Aspen trees
The amount of ED bullshit I'm being recommended is insane. I've spent between 20 and 40 minutes trying to block the posts and DNI the tags. HOW MANY do you assholes have? Seriously, these people are the scum of the earth, trying to drag as many people down with them as they destroy their body for their own immedeate pleasure. It's disgusting, not to mention tragic. All those young girls and boys who will never grow up right, who will silently be avoided by those who are well adjousted and only end up with other victims or abusers who see their vulnerabilities. I see people trying to help in the comments, but they get called slurs and threatened. So deep goes the echo chamber, that, according to social theory, it classifies as a cult.
Please, alorithm, give me ANYTHING but this shit. Give me Beatles fanart, stuck up philosophical quotes, people complaining about their lives, just not this radicalisation of young teens which I am powerless to stop.
And, god forbid, should you have Anorexia or any other ED's and be reading this... Please stop. Your body doesn't hate you, it's litterally doing everything in it's power to keep you alive, and while it's good to take control over your life, this isn't the way to go. If you are struggling, talk to someone you trust, or a stranger, but don't believe those who shame/encourage your fasting. They don't care about you or your life. They just need you to be doing worse than them so that they can push themselves onwards and tell themselves they are getting sloppy.
That is all.
ICELANDIC CANNOT BE REAL BRO-
SO MUCH FOR IT BEING IMPOSSIBLE TO READ IT'S STILL EASEIR THAN SWEDISH
"hænder kniv i dig og hitter ikke" like sure it doesn't WORK in Danish Grammar but if you said this to someone they would understand it. The nordic unity is real.
[throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] Dude stay still jesus christ [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses]
Nobody knows what the meaning of life is, this is pretty commonly known. However, people are surprisingly good at knowing what the meaning of life isn't! For example:
If I asked you: "is the meaning of our time here on earth to drive cars?" You'll probably answer no, because intuitively, cars isn't... the meaning, yk? Obviously you can argue why with examples and reasoning, but you don't need those to know that driving cars isn't the meaning of life.
Is the meaning of life eating food, surviving and then having offspring? Some people will say yes, and it's a fair answer. Biologically, it is why we are here, after all. But most people don't find this a satisfactory answer, which is where the question takes a more spiritual turn. It's less "what is my purpose" and more "how do I feel accomplished in life". Accomplishment is a hard feeling to keep. You may have it, periodically, but it quickly slips away. This is the same with happiness.
Humans have (due to advertisements and ESPECIALLY social media) gotten used to the idea that being happy means actively experiencing happiness all the time. It doesn't. Being happy is more of a skill, something you steer towards when given the chance but otherwise don't stare longingly at when you don't have it.
This goes for men, too.
confidence guide for awkward girls 💫
LEARN TO SHUT UP. this is the first advice because it is probably the most important one, but the one that took me the longest to comprehend and master. girl, literally just shutting the fuck up does wonders. most of the times I was embarrassed out of my mind was coz I said something completely avoidable, only because I believed that being quiet was either rude or more awkward than whatever I rambled at that moment. bzzt, WRONG! being quiet means first of all being non-reactive, which gives you time to really reflect on what's being said and whether or not it even requires a response, and guess what; like 80% of the time, it does not. you are allowed to not respond, nod along, go "hmm" or "oh!" and leave it at that.
LEARN TO "FAKE" SMILE. this may seem controversial but it helps me so much. I've always been accused of looking mean, bitchy or just too serious, especially since I started to shut the fuck up (see previous item). and I am guilty as charged: I do have a RBF and when I am focused my eyebrow goes ò_o and I look judgemental and almost evil, and when I tried to balance it out by being funny or witty, it just came off even more awkward. the solution? I've started practicing a fake smile in front of the mirror when I was about 13 years old until I got the muscle memory of it so perfectly that now it's my response to nearly everything that I don't want/can't respond to. throwing an easy smile into a conversation will make you seem relaxed and in control even if you're bubbling anxious inside, and people will feel more at ease with you. also: learn to be generous with compliments, and try to make them your auto-response as well!
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF. comparison is the mark of insecurity and envy, and it's one of the ugliest and most useless habits you can have. yes, useless: what benefit do you get from comparing your face and body and circumstances to somebody else's? and please don't pretend you're getting "inspiration" from them. listen, you are your own lane. you are your entire universe. there is no other life to be lived, no other body to embody. this is it. these are the cards you were dealt with. the longer you try to peak into somebody else's cards, the longer you'll be ignoring yourself and neglecting your game. abandon ideas such as comparison, imitation or judgement towards others. confidence starts and ends with focusing on yourself.
LEARN TO CUT PEOPLE OFF. accumulating people in your life like they're pokémon is gonna be your downfall, because it's obvious not everyone can stay. imagine if a growing tree held onto all its leaves and branches, even the ones in obvious decay, how ugly and weak that tree would be, how much energy those dying parts would steal from the new ones in need of flourishing. it's the same with relationships. when someone disrespects you, hurts you, or simply doesn't align with you anymore, and you find excuses to keep this person around, what you're doing is betraying yourself, and how are you gonna have confidence in someone who betrays you? learn to cut people off or to simply let them go, and watch yourself become lighter and brighter.
QUIT BEING A BITCH. something people don't seem to understand is that the rude, conceited, mean girl persona is always revealed to be a small, petty and insecure rat on the inside. I've wasted years of potential connections trying to emulate the Blair Waldorf-y, Regina George-y vibes, trying to balance out my awkwardness with what I thought was their fierceness, because I was missing the whole point that their confident selves were lies. no girl or woman who is confident in herself spends any amount of time being a bitch, scheming to take people down, minding everyone else's business to make sure she stays on top. true confident people are kind even in the face of rudeness, they glow in shadows; their strength lies in tenderness. the sooner you give this mean girl show up, the better.
ABANDON YOUR NEED FOR APPROVAL AND COMPREHENSION FROM OTHERS. seeking approval is a very obvious trap but seeking comprehension is also dangerous, because the second people start doubting or questioning you – which is always going to happen when you decide to make a change of habits, traits, lifestyle etc – and you decide to explain yourself, you're accepting the premise that what you're doing is incomprehensible. if you're truly sure of yourself, there will be no need to assure others of yourself. if your peers or strangers don't understand it, so what? that's their enigma to sort out. respond to yourself and yourself only. if you understand and approve yourself, that's all you need, period. live for your damn self.
GOOD LUCK, LITTLE STARS 💫
Greed is the product of two things: The idea that money reduces misery. The idea that you are miserable.
And indeed, it is true. A lifetime fuelled by greed will make you miserable, and the only prospect of getting new money will ease your misery.
You will most likely face challenges in life. If not, touché, but for most of us, there will be feats we attempt to undertake, and fail at. Or things that happen which we really didn't want to happen. Or things that don't happen when you really want them to. It is reasonable to assume this is an inevitable fact for all humans.
Because of this, one of the best skills to learn in life is getting back up when life kicks you down.
And it doesn't have to be a major thing. It can be, but major events have the aspect of "wow, this was a major thing, I really need to make a dedicated attempt at moving on" which smaller, more common misfortunes sneakily sidestep. But no matter if a loved one died, or your partner dumped you, or you relapsed, or if you didn't get into your dream academy, you must get back up sooner and later. And most of the time, you will, but training your mind to have a structured framework for getting back up is an incredibly liberating exercise once you get it down.
All of the examples I just mentioned have happened, one way or another, to me throughout my youth, and back then I was not nearly as well-adjusted or happy as I am now. This is not because I grew out of the phase where bad things happened - there's no such thing - but because I learnt to deal with loss, grief and how to get back up after I relapsed. Instead of channeling my emotions into selfhatred, shame, scratches and drunken weekends, I eventually trained myself to get back to where I was after reality kicked me out of flow. (I'll get to the exception in a moment).
I remember the first time it properly happened. I had my first high school exam, and I had done a masterful amount of prepwork... at least by my standards. Seriously, though, I was feeling great about it and actually looking forward to presenting and- I got the lowest passing grade. Now, to put this in context, my whole life I had gotten mid to high grades without putting in any effort, and always been told that if I just put in effort I could make it so much further. I was not even sad when I recieved my grade - not cuz of stoicism, but because I was so genuinely flabberghasted I did not know how to react.
As I went home, my mood gradually decreased, especially as everyone around me kept asking "what went wrong", and I continually had to supress the urge to tell them "Oh I actually put in effort this time, like you said!". But that evening, I had finally gotten to a point where I was mentally capable of comprehending the grade and the entire experience. So I ran it through again, and this time, I asked myself "What went wrong" like everyone around me had done before. And truth is? I don't know what went wrong. Even now, I don't get it. But back then it seemed pretty clear what was gonna happen now. A lifetime spent without effort was rewarded, the first time I really tried I was punished. And yet, the conclusion I came to that evening was "Eh, it was probably a one-time thing", which was an out of character level of maturity for a 15 year old boy with virtually no work discipline to present. And no, to this day I have no idea how or why I came to that conclusion back then, either.
Now, back to the whole "getting back up" thing, you may find after particularly important and/or traumatic events in life that you can't just return to everyday life. Maybe there is a new feeling in your mind that you know you can never get rid of, or maybe a part of "normal" dissapeared completely from your life. In these cases it is more important that ever to have a structure in your mind, so that when one aspect of life comes crashing down, the rest remains intact. You have to be emotionally prepared to adapt, because life doesn't wait for good times to kick you in the nads.
And this, near the end of a very long rant, is probably going to be the only time you will ever see me encourage religious-esque activity. Cuz asking yourself "what does the universe/God/Joe Roagan want me to learn from this" is plain and simply more effective than asking yourself "what can I learn from this" when you're facing something that sucks.
Humans are social creatures. Imagining the personifcation of your inner voice as a friend that wants you to be happy is a tool that shouldn't, but does, work for me. Maybe it will for you, too?
I talk about stoicism and stuff sometimes. Do not expect consistent posts. Do not expect relevant posts all the time.
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