I Need A Six Of Crows And Crooked Kingdom Audio Book With Each Chapter Pov Narrated By The Actors In

a the amazing devil song each for the shadow and bone characters *this is based off of the netflix series versions of the characters

Kaz Brekker - The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace 'Cause when I stand, oh all those folks will run And tell the tales of what I've become They'll speak of me in whispered tones And say my name like it shakes their bones

Inej Ghafa - The Calling And I promise you I'll write I love you With my fingers on your sleeping hand And when that fox howls I'll howl with it, in its cries I'll find an end And when I think I'm fine you'll visit And then you happen to me, you happen to me all over again

Nina Zenik - Ruin I will bring you ruin in everything I do It's never my intention but it happens all the same It starts with love and comfort Becomes a strength of will But all that strength made rubble of those towers we built

Matthias Helvar - Blossoms And my saint she is dancing As every step I choose to take begins to set the world aflame And the soldiers march behind me I can hear them beat their spears And for the first time in all my life I know I'm more than what I fear

Alina Starkov - Inkpot Gods Oh what these? These aren't tears It's just the rain that wasn't brave enough to fall And what they hear isn't laughter after all It's just your voice learning for once to stand up tall

Aleksander Morozova - The Horror and The Wild Think of all the horrors that I promised you I'd bring I promise you, they'll sing of every Time you passed your fingers through my hair and called me child Witness me old man, I am the Wild

Malyen Oretsev - Farewell Wanderlust Because farewell wanderlust, you've ever ever so kind You brought me through this darkness but you left me here behind And so long to the person you begged me to be He's down, he's dead Now take a good long look at what you've done to me

Nikolai Lantsov - That Unwanted Animal And you rip my ribcage open And devour what's truly yours And our screaming joins in unison I cry out to the lord 'Cause if we join our hands in prayer enough to God I imagine it all starts to sound like applause

Genya Saffin - Fair "'Cause outwardly," he says, "I try so hard to make you laugh at me" And she, she does, she laughs as though she's not heard the joke ten thousand times before And he adores her, he watches her get dressed as though she's hurtling through time "Oh darling, please be mine"

Jesper Fahey - Welly Boots And when you scream that it's not fair It's like I've gone off to the coast Left you behind just standing there Pretending not to see your ghost

Wylan Van Eck - Secret Worlds 'Cause I will suffer silence for the strings you tune And I'll withstand what's written for the writer in you Write me well my love, write me weird Write me willing, write me well

Something about Kaz hinging his entire plan in Crooked Kingdom on the fact that no one would bother checking on a boy they assumed was dead during the plague is just so...

Like, he remembers lying in that alley with Jordie and watching people walk past and then being rolled onto a pile of corpses by bodymen and staring up at them thinking Wait. I'm still alive. and getting dumped on the Reaper's Barge anyway because no one in this city cares.

"But won't the medic check to see if he's really dead?" No. He won't.

Kaz Brekker, bastard of the Barrell, Dirtyhands being described in everyone else’s chapters

Kaz Brekker, during his own chapters internally simping over Inej Ghafa

WATCH SHADOW AND BONE SEASON 2!!!

I want everybody who’s calling Ken a Trophy Husband to know that he’s actually a Trophy Boyfriend, because when Ruth Handler invented Ken in the 1960s, she was adamant that he would never marry her and instead be her “handsome steady”, so that Barbie remained a figure of independence for the little girls and was never put in the position of housewife.

Her house is hers. She bought it and furnished it with money she made in her own job. In STEM, in politics, in healthcare, in fashion, in academy, in customer service. Her credit card is in her name (women in the US couldn’t have their own regardless of marital status until 1974). And it’s all pink and fashionable because femininity and badassness aren’t mutually exclusive. No matter who you are, you can be anything.

That’s why Barbie’s slogan is “you can be anything”. Teaching these ideals to little girls is why Barbie was created. Empowering women and empowering femininity is the original meaning of the Barbie doll. It’s not that you have to be all this to be a woman, but if you are all or some of this, you too are awesome.

And somehow pop culture deliberately changed that narrative. Sexualised, bimbofied, and villainised her, when she actually isn’t responsible for the impossible beauty standards — people are, she’s just a stylised, not-to-scale toy like most others.

Men are frothing because he’s just Ken and I guess they were expecting her to be just Barbie, but that’s exactly what Ken is. Canonically. A badass woman’s himbo boyfriend.

This movie has the potential to change the way we collectively see Barbie radically into what Ruth Handler’s intended, I’m so very excited

but like imagine this, if there were deaths in a third soc book:

wylan would die first (from an explosion, oit of irony) because we can all agree he's like a son to kaz, and it would be devastating. so then kaz has all this pent-up emotion. and jesper's unhinged gambling addiction gets worse, which gets kaz even more worried. because he's like a brother to kaz. and he does something reckless on this job, which therefore gets him severely injured, and he dies in inej's arms. and that leads to inej trying to help jesper cope while also suffering internally herself.

when news reaches nina in ravka, she thinks that kaz forged inej's signature at the end of the letter as a cruel joke. she went along with it anyway since she missed when the crows were all together. nina brought a few traditional ravkan treats that she knew kaz liked no matter how much he denied it. when she arrived at the slat, it was empty. nina went to the crow club and found inej with a far away look. she gave up on trying to help jesper with his addiction. im too lazy to be in writing mode, so im gonna half-ass the rest. anyway, nina had to snap inej out of her daze and ask her where kaz was. that's when inej finally broke down, and any word she muttered was incoherent. after what felt like ages, jesper went over to the two girls and told nina what happened. "the ol' dirtyhands finally kicked the bucket. thought he was immortal for a while. wylan went just before him."

there was nothing else but sobs that day and screaming out to the sky why everything that happened happened. bit over a week later, there was a joint service. inej engraved two slabs for the two out of wood with the first knife kaz gifted to her. she renamed it. sankt rietveld. and that's how she got assigned a new job. revenge. with a gloved hand holding her knife. (shitty ending, not enough detail, but here you go)

before, there were six of crows. then five. now only three.

i originally shared this with a server im in and, therefore, was banished to hellgate by my friends for making them all cry. oops. anyway, fuck you guys [affectionately but not really].

each and every day i'm getting closer to watching free rein. it'd be such a fever dream and my inner horse-girl-child would be so thrilled

Freddy Carter went from stealing medical supplies for sick horses as Pin Hawthorn to becoming bastard of the barrel attempting to steal the sun summoner and if that’s not character development then I don’t know what is

thinking about how, as a child, kaz’s favorite trick seemed to be watching something disappear, and then he grew up and fell in love with a girl who could vanish into thin air, and how we’re told that when he looks at inej, he feels like a boy again and believes that there’s still magic in the world. imagine loving magic all your life, and then discovering that magic loved you too.

missing this barrel rat right now

Happy Neil banging out the tunes day