Why Does Writing Have To Take So Much Time? Like, I Have A Feeling I Want To Convey, Wdym I Can’t Just

Our friend is so good at telling us apart, sometimes he catches on before we even realize we’re switching.

We have the right to pretend to be the host don’t take that from us.

-Angelo

The body is going through some really severe medication withdrawal due to a mixup with our psychiatrist resulting in us not having a refill of our medication. It’s messing with our circulation, our head, and our mood.

And oh my gosh my mood is so fucked up rn.

If I’m alone I burst into tears over the smallest shit. To the point where I was crying cause I wasn’t falling asleep as fast as I wanted or started yelling at my car cause the door wouldn’t stay open when I was parked on a slope. I have to stay around someone who can distract me so I’m not crying. Which sucks cause I’m at work. And cant just leave to go hang out with friends.

I’m so tired. Really need to figure out this medication situation.

I hate constantly having to mask our identity to the point of forgetting who we are. It sucks

- Be

This is the point we’re constantly trying to get across.

-Apollo

I do not care what alignment you have with syscourse right now.

Harassment isn’t something that should be encouraged. If someone does not align with your views, block them and move on. If they’re harassing people, no matter what alignment you have, keep other people safe.

Don’t go spilling trauma to people either, it can trigger people.

Just block and move on. It does better for everyone.

We are anti-endo, but if someone comments that there is a blog that is harassing people even if they’re also anti-endo, I’m not for it. I’ll tell everyone no matter what. They’re harassing people, they don’t need to interact with anyone if they’re doing that.

Please stay safe.

Quick reminder to all the systems out there who might read this. Don’t suppress or force switches unless necessary for safety okay? Our host suppressed a switch all day and had a breakdown because of it. She got up overstimulated to the point where her own breathing was aggravating her and she kept holding her breath. It wasn’t pretty and sure wasn’t fun for her. The rest of us have been going in and out for a bit since someone else took control so that she could take a break.

I just wanted to remind anyone out there who might need to hear it, don’t suppress a switch because you think it’s not real. Denial is real and it’s a beast. But just because someone else told you that it’s not happening doesn’t change the reality. If you are experiencing these symptoms, whatever you label them as, suppressing them when it’s unnecessary can be incredibly harmful to your mental health and the health of the system. I don’t mean to say that you should never try to stay grounded, but you KNOW when you’re getting triggered and should step back. Don’t force yourself to stay in a bad and triggering environment because you think you should be able to handle it or because someone else said it’s not real. Would you stay in a loud are if you had a headache? No! So why not let someone better equipped handle the situation?

Just as a side note, if you are not in a safe environment where your system feels they cannot switch, I understand. Or if you just generally are trying to gain more control, that’s cool too, Im mainly trying to reach those deep in denial who are pushing their headmates out of the front because they don’t believe in their own validity.

Today was a bad day for our host and they were pushing aside a switch that should have happened much earlier in order to reduce the stress the host had to take on. And she ended up full on breakdown mode until someone else was finally able to come in. It’s been a few hours and she’s not back yet when typically she would be by now. I’m not sure when she’ll return but it shouldn’t be too long.

Till next time. -Izuku (emotional regulator)

Having to choose between being awake and feeling like crap or being tired at but not dizzy and lightheaded because caffeine and heart problems don’t mix.

Spoiler alert, I went ahead and drank the caffeine. Feel like crap but at least I’m not dozing off.

-Apollo

That moment when you (a guy) realize your boyfriend is gay :O

-Apollo

I'm watching Good Omens and they happened to make a GREAT analogy for amnesia. Or at least how I often experience it. I've adjusted it to better explain, but this is the outline.

I've moved into empty house that someone used to live in. I don't know who lived here before or what they did, but I can see the evidence that something did. The paint is discolored where the furniture used to be against the walls, there's outlines in the dust where things sat on the shelf, scratches on the floor and doors from over the years.

I don't know what happened, but I can piece together some things by the evidence left behind. My unexplainable triggers and reactions to things give me hints as to what my trauma may be.

I don't know what happened. I'm just looking at where the furniture used to be.

So, the host’s boyfriend came and talked to us, made sure we were okay, that was cool. I ended up talking it out and feeling much better afterwards.

So that’s nice.

-renfield

I’m out and masking so hard, even though we’re among friends who are aware I’m just not super comfortable.

And let me tell you, masking a British accent in an American environment is so not the best.

Especially when everyone keeps asking you if you’re okay cause a second ago the host was out having a panic attack.

This is my life at the moment.

-renfield

I can’t tell if I want to change my name because I hate my old one, if I’m questions my gender again, or if there’s a new alter who needs a name.

-Apollo (for now)