For No Reason At All, I'd Like To Bring Your Attention To Oconomowoc, Wisconsin For Having A Fun Name

Ah, I thought this might be the intended use of the pillow case. I was thinking maybe there was another way to make pillow cases dangerous. I mean if there were stairs...

I dare you to motivate me to study.

The child lives if you study

Tucker: We're married.

Danny: What?

Tucker: If anyone asks you and I are married. We've been married for two years. Not platonic roommates. Understand?

Danny: I'm always down for marriage fraud, but can I ask why?

Tucker: *Sigh* We had a big company meeting today with every level employee at the event center the Wayne rent out. Tammy from accounts was assigned to my table-

Danny: Your mortal enemy.

Tucker: Exactly. So she started giving me grief in the middle of our team exercise project. The other four random employees are looking at me all wide eye and I'm getting tired so I say "Is it because I'm gay Tammy?" To shut her up. But at that time, Timothy Drake Wayne was walking behind me and heard me say it. He jumped in to ask what was going on, and I hate Tammy for being so annoying, but I am not about to accuse her of discrimination for no reason. So I said "Oh it was just a joke. Like on the internet." And then when Mr.Drake-Wayne face didn't relax, I blurted out."My husband thinks my jokes are dumb too"

Danny: Tucker....that's not good

Tucker: I know! I started panicking!

Danny: You ramble when you panic.

Tucker: I do, and I did. Before I realized it, I told Mr. Drake-Wayne, this whole made up childhood friends to lover romance between you and I. It was so good he told me to invite you to the office. So we're married. Please go along with it. If I can get Mr. Drake-Wayne's support I can rise in the company so fast.

Danny: Promotions are 50% networking. Alright, sure, what's the worst that can happen?

Five months later

Steph: What's the big emergency?

Tim sobbing:. I'm in love with the husband of one of my employees.

Steph: Tim....that's not good

Garlic bread is the superior bread, of course. That's why.

Also, I shoot it at the ground and now there are cats

Hi, hi, hello. This week, we’re honoring a-spec folks—happy Monday to ace, aro, agender, grey, and demi folks, and to all folks who identify with the a-spec umbrella. Happy Monday also to all other the LGBTQIA+ folks reading this.

Your prompts for this week are:

What’s your favorite food, and why is it garlic bread?

You find a magical bow and arrow—what/who do you aim for, and what happens when you hit your mark?

Remember, these prompts are for everyone, whether we’re wearing your colors on Pride+ this week or not! Share with the class by tagging #not just in june, or don’t! We’re not the boss of you <3

Love disabled people who just lie about their disabilities to nosy, intrusive questions. Sorry, yeah, I lost my arm in the wash one day. It's funny how that happens! Oh, I got back pain from saving nineteen children from a burning fire department <3

So, sometime in the middle ages there was an uptik in the demand for beef. The church, who had a ton of cows cuz they were fucking rich, had their own stalls and/or provided stalls with meat. They definitely did *not* have enough cows to meet the high daily demand for beef and, on a related note, they were the ones who prepped the dead for burial in their cemetery.

As it is a few hours until the 31st, please remember these rules while going out!

1: Wear something that is both comfortable and practical. Not too hot but don't let yourself get too chilly. Take a jacket or change of clothes if you need.

2: If you are going to be trick or treating with kids, make sure they stay safe and that you keep an eye on them. Also, don't make them do anything that might be too scary.

3: If you are going to a party, please make sure you keep a close watch on any food or drinks you have.

4: This is a rule for overall but please drink water. With all the fun going you may forget but at least try to remember for your own sake.

5: Check anything you get. The world can be a bit dark at times and when you get free stuff from strangers it's best to check what you are getting.

6: Please don't break the law. This feels like a given but still.

7: Know when to go home, it's only a couple hours but you still need to know when it's time to head back home and rest.

And finally I hope you all enjoy your time!

Happy Halloween!

I... HAVE BEEN INCLUDED!

To all acespec knights, this week belongs to you! I want you to know that you deserve to take space, to be recognized, and you deserve to be seen. This week is the ideal time to remember that asexuality is a valid and wonderful part of our world - shout it loud and clear! And, above all, stay proud ⚔️💪

"You'll be late for your own funeral" but as a business. Like you pay 15-30$ to add your name, number, birthday and home address (to ensure proper identity verification) to a data base given to all funeral homes and crematoriums so that they hold onto you for an extra 15-30 minutes. The amount you pay will determine how long the fabricated delay lasts.

Contextless quotes from me/my friends with no indication of who said what:

"Look away for .5 seconds and you have a smush child"

"Is cruise control on? Oh wait, we're going down a hill"

"Same as when I broke you and them with all those subs I take?"

"I’m warm, i’m tall, i can build furniture, i don’t stream."

"Most of my vehicle mishaps happen bc I cannot see so that’s a plus at least XD"

I did not ask if they wanted their quotes on tumblr