Haha I'm Sure This Will End Well (sorry For Lazy Art T^T)

FUCKING HILARIOUS please give more and my life is yours

watchin TFP again and I have been reduced to tears by the running jokes between me and my brother. Optimus has developed an addiction to Dunkin. Knockout keeps threatening Starscream with performing Actual Medicine on Megatron, bc clearly the only reason Starscream called him in is to provide plausible deniability to Soundwave and the LAST thing he wants is for Megatron to receive actual medical care.

Bulkhead IN CANON straight up said "fuck that bitch" when Knockout kidnapped that asshole kid who kept harassing Jack to race and I'm in hysterics. I love him.

YES. FUCK YES. Also if OP didn't turn big, I genuinely belive UM would be taller. Too bad we didn't get to see it

Magnus looks like OP’s lil baby bro here omg

Just a lil bro who is 29ft tall or something and dwarfs everyone else on the team except his bigger bro

Btw they actually share some same quirks-

get projected on, glitch

I'm prepping a new Ultra Magnus centric fanfic. Well... kinda Ultra Magnus centric, but it's a lovely AU that no one, I mean absolutely no one except myself, asked for. Legit just Ultra Magnus being a femme instead but not a soul knows minus his creators that I made two femmes for this story that is only vaguely mentioned and only I know that his carrier knows. She a thick lady so she can carry. I'll post the ao3 link once I finish it in my notes and hopefully be able to proofread it.

Wish I could have a beta reader, but I'm broke

The story is gonna be called "The Ultra in Ultra Magnus". If anyone has a decent summary or is willing to help me make a summary, you can DM me or email me at: athena.alphea@gmail.com

If it's anything else, I will delete and ignore the message, just fyi. Anyways, have a lovely day :3

A fanfic I made on ao3

Everyone was sitting in a circle. Well, almost everyone. Ultra Magnus, Miko, Jack, Raf and Ratchet weren't there. Ratchet had work to do in medbay, Magnus simply didn't want to participate and the kids had to go home for the night. But other than that everybody was sitting in a circle playing truth or dare.

"Bee, T or D?" It was Arcee's turn to ask

*TRUTH!!*

"Why do you like that video game so much?"

...

*It's just fun idk why*

"Ok, Bee. Your turn now"

*... AC-12, Truth or Dare?*

"Dare"

*Next time we see Knock Out, insult him to see his reaction*

"Alright, alright good one Bee, my turn.. uuuhhhh.... Optimus! Truth or Dare?" AC said in a somewhat sing-song tone, having something up her non-existent sleeve. Optimus took some time to choose. Took a minute but he made up his mind

"I choose dare," Optimus, with a innocent, kind expression turned to confusion when she took a little but more time just so she can catch him off guard with her dare.

"I dare you to put on an outfit of my choosing while in a closet with another bot" AC had a devilish, sinister look. A little worried and curious, Optimus followed into her room and waited by the door. Meanwhile, Athena convinced Smokescreen to follow her. "Come on~" she almost sang her words.

Smokescreen was locked in a storage closet that is ever so conveniently connected to AC-12's quarters.

"WHAT THE- " shoved into a closet by himself is one thing but being in a closet with Optimus is another.

"Smokescreen?! Are you alright..." his words trailed off to nothing realizing what he was in.

He was in an explicit bunny suit.

Both Smokescreen and Optimus were silent, both for the same reason. Optimus was in an explicit outfit inside of a closet with a younger member of the team.

"Uhmm... is this apart of the dare or..." Smokescreen tried break the silence but it ended in even more silence from Optimus.

...

The silence felt kind of suffocating. Smokescreen wanted to scream 'what the fuck-'. Seems human swear words are sticking to him. Optimus decides to break the awkward silence between them.

"Smokescreen, are you alright? You seem embarrassed." *WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT OPTIMUS?!* He mentally cursed at himself for asking a DUMB question. Smokescreen didn't realize there was a light energon blush across his faceplates

"Y-yea I'm fine... just- uuhmmm..." Optimus must have been thinking the same thing, "The outfit of Centarus' choosing, yes... but we are here for just around 20 Earth minutes." As if that's gonna help.

...

Here is the awkward silence again! But with a hint of arousal as Smokescreen's optics traveled around Optimus' frame all around until he met his modesty panel just barely even covered with the fabric. 'Scrap' internally cursing and scolding himself for thinking about it. He thought his modesty panel and his hips and chest looked slightly provocative and hot in the bunny suit. Optimus might have noticed as his cheeks started to turn neon as well.

"Uh... Smokescreen... what are you doing?" Shit- "OH- uhh... uhm... I- um- don't- knoww...?" OH MY FRAGGING PRIMUS!! I AM SUCH A GLITCH Smokescreen cursed at him mentally.

Optimus took a little time to think about his next words because he didn't want to make things worse than they already are. "Well... umm... your- uhmm- I saw your optics, uhmm, eye at- my.... uhm- body" Well now I've made it worse! Way to go Optimus!! Way to fraging go. It seems both were internally cursing at themselves as there was more awkward silence with a hint of arousal and a strong tinge of embarrassment.

The embarrassment in the room was strong you almost smell it. Both Optimus and Smokescreen were far too embarrassed to even make a click because of the slightly aroused air sitting between them. But what's even worse is that Smokescreen could feel his spike up against his modesty panel and his valve aching for some form of friction.

Meanwhile Optimus is cursing himself silently because his valve also craves for friction. Both want to frag but both know that it is kinda wrong and they don't know if the other is fine with fraging just this once. Smokescreen, not liking the silence, speaks up.

"Soo... uhmm what are you gonna do after this??" Damn it me!! "I do not know."

Meanwhile, in AC's room, her and Athena are silently giggling and just waiting for action, they planned this just ever so perfectly for them to be awkward dorks who don't wanna do it. "Hah! They think they're gonna stay there for 20 minutes?? Pfft hilarious" Athena nodded in agreement to AC-12's statement. Both giggled slightly in excitement, waiting for one to pull the trigger.

In the closet, however, Smokescreen is now muttering curses to himself and did not realize till Optimus spoke up, "What did you say, Smokescreen? I couldn't hear you." Smokescreen didn't respond as his arousal is getting strong and starting to cloud his senses.

"Smokescreen? Are you okay? I think you're overheating!!" Smokescreen, unintentionally, makes a needy whimper.

When Smokescreen realized, his entire face went a deep, energon blue along with Optimus'.

"Uuhhh... umm... I- did not mean to doo... that.." his faceplates a neon energon color, become even deeper, if that's possible, along with Optimus.

"I- uhm- S-smokescreen, um- w-wha..? Uhm-" Optimus, struggling to find the right words to say, constantly opens and closes his mouth a few times just to settle on being silent in trying to not make things more awkward, failing.

While these two are horny, embarrassed messes AC and Athena are giggling and waiting for things to happen. "When will they FUCK?!" Athena asks impatiently. "Soon, girly, soon." ... "Wanna shove them on top of each other?" "YES!" While AC and Athena whisper and wait and plan something Smokescreen is trying not to whimper AGAIN. "Smokescreen, are you okay? You are awfully quiet." Optimus asks with concern laced into his voice, 'cause he has been very quiet after he made a very embarrassing, high-pitched sound. "HUH?! Oh, yea I-I'm fine." Then Optimus got shoved from the door connecting the closet and AC-12's room.

Optimus lands on top of Smokescreen, right on his array. Both Optimus and Smokescreen are as blue and neon as can be with their interface panels touching and hot from arousal.

Optimus, array touching Smokescreen's can't hide his humiliation. Smokescreen looks up to see a very neon Optimus. Both wanna get off but they can't find the will to do so. "U-uhh.. Op...ti...mus..?" Optimus, snaps back to reality and looks down, unintentionally slightly grinds his array against Smokescreen's. Both end up making a high-pitched sound, almost like a squeak of arousal. Smokescreen's louder than Optimus'. Optimus opens and closes his mouth several times, trying to find words but can't get them out.

Smokescreen looks around, doesn't know why but he does. Just to look at anything other than his idol. Meanwhile, AC and Athena are just sitting by the door, waiting. And it seems luck is on their side as Smokescreen gathers up whatever courage he has to speak of the heat between them.

"Um, Optimus, your, uh, panels is kinda warm, you ok?" He tries his best to looks just even a little smug, but behind it just nothing but embarrassment. Optimus, gets even more neon so much so, that his shoulders start to have a tinge of blue to them. "U-uhh.. p-pardon?" "Yeah, your, uh, array feels hot, are you alright?" Smokescreen, now have even more confidence, waits for his response, having his own up is non-existent sleeves.

... Silence takes over once more but the arousal is stronger and the embarrassment starts to fade away just ever so slightly. Optimus, feel so embarrassed yet so horny and turned on by this, he can't quite say anything. All he does is stare back at Smokescreen and see his expression of confidence and some slight embarrassment. He tries to say something but fails, as if though his words are caught in his voice box, his throat and he can't force them out.

Smokey, seeing this continues, "Would you like some help with your problem, Sir?" Now that almost made him rev his engine, he called him Sir, and not so innocently. There was lust intertwined in his words, and kinda likes it. Optimus is now fantasizing at what he can do to him, filthy fantasies. "Optimus? Your getting hotter. Your fans are on." He didn't know when his fans clicked on but they did, and he wants, needs relief of the uncomfortable, wet feeling in his valve. "S-smokescreen.." he wants to say he wants it, but doesn't want to sound so needy, like sparkling for energon. Smokescreen, looking for an answer, doesn't quite do anything, yet. "U-uhm.. p-please..." His attempt at sounding not as needy for friction, ultimately fails as he's very, very turned on and needy and wanting some form of friction.

"You seem like you can use some help down there Optimus." Scrap, his voice sounded hot, but also yet a little cocky but just ever so slightly. He very slightly grinds his hips into Optimus' and is rewarded by a very soft, yet needy moan, "Ngh!" Optimus wants to say something but Smokescreen is still lightly grinding his panels into his and he can't think straight. "O-ohh..." Optimus bites his bottom lip plates to try and muffle the sounds he keeps on making, but when he does, Smokescreen stops.

Optimus wants more, he tries to satisfy himself by moving his hips but Smokescreen stops him, he grabs his hip plates, ultimately leaving his idol horny and upset that he can't get release. "S-smokescreen... nng... please... let- u-Ah!" Smokescreen move both his and Optimus' hips into each other just a little. "EEEEEEEEEEE! ATHENA! LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK!!" AC whisper-yells. "Yesss!!" Both of the girls are happy SOMETHING is happening and they get to watch.

"Sir, I can't help you if you can't tell me what you want~? Okay, noe Smokey has fuckin gone cocky as fuck but yet, Optimus can't quite find the energy to say anything about it. But he does have the energy to do is show him what he wants. Optimus raises himself up a little just ever so slightly, it could be barley noticeable, and he retracts his modesty panel to expose his dripping wet mess of a valve, his valve started lubricating a little bit ago but when you are turned on to the max, you get really wet.

Smokescreen notices and looks down, seeing all of the lubricant coming out of his valve. Hoping that he'll retract his panels Optimus tries to grind his hips into Smokescreen's but fails as Smokescreen catches him. Instead, he moves Optimus off of him and places a diget right on the outer folds of his valve. Waiting for consent, Optimus nods saying he can, he shoved his diget in just slightly to work his way in and stretch him out a little. Although he isn't quite big, both know it's been awhile since the last time Optimus has done this and there with still be some slight tinge of pain to it.

"O-ohh.. hah" when Smokescreen's diget is halfway in, he pulls is out and thrusts it back and repeats this over and over again. "Oh... Ah" panting, Optimus slowly starts to grind his hips into Smokescreen's diget, "N-nnggh! Ahh!" Smokescreen adds another diget and slowly starts to scissor him open. This rewards him with more moans and sounds of pleasure while also getting louder. "A-aahh! Oh...nn" Smokescreen then shoves his digets in deeper, and hits one of many nodes in his valves. "GAH-AHH!" He focuses on that one spot and assaults it. Optimus throws his helm back. Oral lubricant starts to drip down the corner of his mouth, and to Optimus' surprise, Smokescreen, taking a risk, puts his mouth on Optimus'. Optimus returns the gesture and kisses him back. Smokescreen then withdrawals his digets and breaks the kiss.

"Ahh... Smokescreen? Why'd you stop?" It's a small break of silence till Smokescreen opens up his panel. "Oh..." Again, Smokey isn't what some would call impressive, he's about average for someone his age, but Optimus isn't a size queen and really care. Optimus then slowly goes down, wanting to see it up close and maybe even have a little taste but he doesn't do it unless it's okay with Smokescreen. He looks up silently asking for permission. Smokescreen doesn't quite want to just yet, instead he asks Optimus if he can open his panel. A little confused he does and his spike pressurizes right in front of him.

Smokescreen, just stares at it. A few moments go by and Smokescreen snaps out of the trance he's been in. He looks up at Optimus, "U-uhm, can I..?' Optimus understood what he wanted, so he laid back and spread his legs a little for Smokescreen to start sucking him off. Smokescreen then gets down and grabs it in the middle, he takes a quick breath and starts to slowly suck on the tip. "Mmmhh" he slowly works his way down before he reaches the back of his throat, he doesn't want to gag on it. As he continues to suck his spike, he starts to bob his head up and down into a rhythm. All while this happens, the sounds Optimus makes gains in numbers, and they get even louder.

"Oh.. ah ah... Hah.. S-smokescreen... Ngh!" Smokescreen took this as an invitation to go harder, and he does. He sucks harder, and bobs his helm faster. "S-SMOKESCREEN!!" Optimus is nearing his overlord and right when he is about to go over the edge, Smokescreen stops and moves away, leaving Optimus' spike to the colder air around them. "Smokescreen? Why did you stop?" "We don't want you to overload so quickly, do we? Don't worry Sir, you'll get what you want." Optimus is confused until he sees Smokescreen lean back. "Oh..." He gets the hint and moves over, just above his spike. He waits for a form of consent. And he gets it in the form of Smokescreen slowly lowering him down. Optimus helps by taking control of his own movements and lowers himself till he's seated completely down. "Oh.. hah" it's been awhile since Optimus has been fragged. They both wait a minute till both are ready.

Optimus slowly starts to ride Smokescreen's spike. Smokescreen grabs onto his hips and spreads his leg slightly for some form of support. Optimus holds onto Smokey's shoulder struts for some support and assistance of pleasureing both himself and Smokescreen. When Optimus found a rhythm, he speeds up. A few minutes pass and Optimus is starting to lose his balance, but Smokescreen takes control and not only does he speed it up s little more he also grinds his hips into the other and this elicts a loud moan from Optimus, "A-AAAHHH~". This continues on for a little while longer and Optimus starts to grind his hips to meet up with Smokescreen's. "Aah.. ooh... Primus.." Optimus moves a servo down to his valve's neglected anterior node. A few more minutes go by and both are starting to reach their climax. "Ah S-smokescreen! I-I'm.. hah.. cl-close- AH!!"

Smokescreen overloads before Optimus and grabs his torso as he fills up Optimus with his transfluid. That was just enough to push I'm over the edge. His own transfluid gushing out as they both hold onto each other and come down from their high. Both reduced to a sticky, panting mess. When they came down from their high, Optimus moves off Smokescreen's spike and transfluids come gushing out of his valve.

"Hah.. that was.." "Amazing? Yea... It was" Smokescreen took the words right out of his mouth. They kiss one more time before they have to clean up. It seems as though the only thing in here is cleaning supplies for them. "Wait... Did AC plan this?" Smokescreen looks up, "What do you mean?"

"I believe she planned this." Optimus realizes why she had a devilish look on her face plates. "She did!" "Well are you gonna confront her in that? And while your sticky??" Both agree that it would be better to take off the bunny suit and clean up their mess before they confront AC-12.

TFP Theory: the Vents

I personally find the face vents of Transformers pretty fascinating. Like the ones Optimus and Starscream have.

Which doesn’t really look like part of their disguises really.

So does these face vents have any actual functions to their biology? Why are they there?

And why only a few of them have it and not everyone? I think these two are the only ones in the show who have them. And we see in Arcee’s Tailgate flashbacks, she used to have one, too.

(“Predatory”, Season One Episode Twelve)

But not anymore

(“Predatory”, Season One Episode Twelve) And we know that Transformers don’t need oxygens according to Bulkhead in “Rock Bottom”, Season one Episode 19, so why do some even have a vent in the first place?

Now, hear me out. Because I have an idea.

So, the grills on actual cars are there to be used to cool down its internal engines, so I think maybe, for the Transformers, it works the same. Ratchet and Bulkhead also got belly grills so those probably act the same too, and not just part of their disguise.

Maybe some Transformers, not all, would experience overheating when stressed out. So they need bigger vents, closer to their face so it can bring the cool air to their brain faster, help them calm down when they overheat. It could be that they overheat when under stress, and thus become uncomfortable, distraction, and more stressed out. And when they got a vent to keep away those heat, it can make them more comfortable and calm.

So it is like a soothing mechanism for some transformers I think. Beside I bet the hearing the blowing of wind by their face constantly can also feel comfortable sometimes.

That would explain a lot because Optimus got the biggest vents of all, and he totally needs them for all the stress he’s been through, and maybe this is even one of the main reason why he’s still relatively calm despite everything.

Starscream’s is obviously not big enough.

Maybe Ratchet and Bulkhead’s belly grills also works the same. But it surly didn’t help Ratchet much. Or those could just be disguises.

And as for Arcee, I can totally imagine that she had her mood swings and grumpiness even before Tailgate’s death, and got a vent to help herself be kind of nicer and calmer. But After Tailgate’s death she sealed her vent off with that diamond shape shield on her horn, because she wanted to use her anger to revenge and didn’t want to be calm anymore.

Here's height comparison

I might go with something different, but I would like to hear others opinions to help

I'm drawing all of TFP Team Prime in ✨️Linguini✨️ starting with Ultra Magnus :3 the sketch pictures are below the cut and what I mean by linguini if you didn't guess already!

Linguini is lingerie in Weird language.

A prime example of Orion and Optimus Prime sneezing.

Completed artwork

I might go with something different, but I would like to hear others opinions to help