140 posts
Latest Posts by baddiekaren - Page 4
edward hart — once more (one-shot)
he wishes to hear you call his name once more.
pairing: edward hart / reader
tags: angst, major character death
words: 1, 941
[cross-posted from ao3]
glossy eyes and a distracted expression. his dirty clothes were strewn across the floor and there were dishes piling up on his bedside table. edward could only focus his attention on the ceiling of his bedroom. rui does come by once in a while to clean up after him but that wasn't enough to keep it from becoming a mess again. edward wasn't this much of a slob; in fact, after centuries of living by himself, he'd watch his friends and loved once die off one by one, he had learned how to live by himself without anyone's interference. he's a proud vampire, the strongest one, the one no one could ever even think of harming. he was doing fine all on his own. he didn't need anyone– that was, and that has been always the case. everything stood true until he met you.
he once held your hand, bowing and leaning in to place a kiss on the back of your hand. he once held your hand flat against his chest– his heart wasn't beating, and he didn't even need to breathe but you told him that he still has a heart, you made his breath hitch in his throat even. indeed, though undead, he had used his heart to love you and only you. he once guided your hand to his shoulder and placed his hand on the curve of your waist. he once smiled at you and spun you around, hearing your mellifluous voice chuckle at his capricious actions. he once snapped his fingers and asked the piano anomaly for a music to slow dance to as he guided your head to the crook of his neck, basking in the candlelit silence of the haunted mansion's ballroom as you waltzed the night away in his embrace. he once plucked roses from the outdoor garden, painstakingly removed each other and offered it to you- the only one who made his still heart beat once again.
"oh? you're here." edward only notices rui once rui was already inside his room, picking up his discarded clothes and tossing them into a basket in his hands. "i'm going there." edward tells rui. rui, who always donned a smile and a carefree attitude, seemed to dim a bit, his expression darkening and his lips pursed into a thin line.
"hey... will you be okay?" rui asks, concerned about the captain. rui was reluctant, knowing that ed preferred to stay inside and never leave his bedroom, rui knew well enough from his observations alone that whenever ed visited that room, he came out worse than before. that room felt like something that constantly drained ed's vitality, the captain's eyes becoming more and more dull as he visited. that room felt like a calamity that dragged ed down for worse, yet the captain couldn't seem to let it go. ed was oddly overprotective of that room in particular, having sworn to secrecy that rui was never to speak of whatever was in that room; after all it was only the captain and vice-captain allowed.
"i'm going." edward stated firmly once again, standing up from his bed and weakly making it out into the hallway. it was a shame, he wasn't weak- he was never meant to be weak yet he crumbled even at the thought of you, of seeing you.
when edward's feet led him in front of that room, he took a deep breath, his hands coming to grasp the door handles yet he hesitated. how can he even show his face to you or be near you? would you even look at him in pity at his current state? would you spare him a glance? if only you were yourself, you would probably have a worried expression and scold him, telling him he should never let himself go. bracing himself for the pain, he held the door open and walked in.
he's a vampire– his heart is still and there's no warmth in him, by human standards he would be considered dead, a walking corpse. it was cruel, absolutely painfully heart wrenching cruel. the figure laying in the bed in front of him was also a corpse. a corpse resting on the line between life or death.
edward never really gave a damn about the rumors humans spew, a being of his status shouldn't regard baseless rumors but among the mountain of rumors, there's got to be one that's correct, right?
he's a murderer.
it had only been a few years since then. eyes brimming with excitement and anticipation, you held his hand and announced that darkwick has finally assigned you two a mission. you had done it, you were on par with edward to be sent on a mission alone with him! as lovers, the both of you were ecstatic yet the lingering fear and anxiety never went unnoticed. whatever, right? you're both powerful, what could go wrong?
yet in that moment, a mere moment of hesitation broke the glass castle you had built along with edward. a desperate call from your throat and edward's feet frozen in place. an anomalous monster took you right in front of his eyes. edward, though always seemingly composed and collected, saw red for the first time. he was sure it wasn't blood that blinded him but fury. seething rage devoured him in an instant. you were strong enough to fight and break free yet that wasn't where the problem laid. it was classified as a high ranking mission because of the effects the anomalous poison had on ghouls like you.
and did the poison consume you.
frankly, edward would've rather had you stricken with a poison that diminished your physical health. at least he can have sought after the most talented doctors in the world to treat you. at least that was something he can overcome. alas, it was something more, something that caused you so much pain mentally that it left you unable to do anything else. you neglected yourself, confined yourself to this room, and every time edward saw you, he watched the world collapsing from your very eyes. every time he embraced you after that incident, he felt you become colder than he was. his once overflowing love felt like a collection of percussive music bringing him down into a spiral and his anxiety accompanied the overbearing thuds like an uneasy rhythm of guitar strings being plucked.
"edward... will you grant me one last wish?" edward can still hear your pleading voice at the back of his mind, your sweet sweet voice asking for a sweet release from the prison the poison had entrapped you in. "can you give me rest, and wake me up when it's all over?"
he was willing to wait years, decades, and even centuries for you. he could even wait a millennia if you asked him to. he didn't care about the rumors that surrounded him, he didn't care that he was called a murderer behind his back, he didn't care that he was seen as a villain. this was his price to pay. this was all for him to bear, this was the rotten fruit his selfish greed bore. gone was his cunning and smug expression when darkwick finally called on him for the consequences of his action. after all, he did pull a few strings and deployed a little manipulation to orchestrate this joint mission between the two of you. the verdict was that he was to be banished to that haunted mansion, ostracized from everything and everyone. it was fine, right? at least he had you- you can live with him in that mansion for all eternity.
edward was filled with uncharacteristic time. wounds that can not be physically mended can be healed with time- it was something he heard humans say in passing. perhaps this was the same for you too. his unbridled hope felt like a fragile flower crushed to death in the face of reality when your eyes turned dull and cold towards him. no, no this was not the you edward offered his heart to. this wasn't the person he loved. you were becoming something else. the poison in your blood was turning you into an anomaly, the same anomaly that cursed you with its poison.
"edward..." he gritted his teeth when he heard your pleading voice once again, "i'm sure you know what's going on..."
"we can run away-" he started, yet you cut him off immediately, shutting down the sprout of hope and desperation brewing in his heart, "they'll find me and kill me. i'm becoming an anomaly, you know that." even when speaking of your foreboding death, he can still find traces of your kindness and of your warmth in your tone.
"edward, please forgive me, i'm being selfish." edward heard the waver in your voice that you tried so hard to conceal. "but when i die, i want it to be done by your hands."
the air was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. edward didn't say anything, he had no words to say just like he had no tears left to cry out. he had no will or life in him to scream and shout in despair because deep inside, he knew it was the better course. he understood you, he knew you'd feel better lulled into eternal sleep than being brutally tossed aside and killed by darkwick for becoming the foe of the institution.
even then, he couldn't keep his promise to you. edward was the strongest vampire, yet he came crumbling down in front of you. he couldn't keep his promise to end your life in his hands, instead he let his selfishness overcome him once more.
"years feel like eternity as of late..." edward mumbles as he sits by your bed where your lithe figure lies almost lifeless. "will you wake up and make this still heart of mine beat once more?" edward continues, lamenting over you. he sits on the edge of your bed, his hand caressing your lifeless ones.
"i know i broke the last wish you had entrusted to me..." he sighs, tracing circles on the back of your hand. "but i just can't bring myself to let you go yet."
"after darkwick made the decision to put you in an indefinite sleep to stop the poison, i've been ordered to grant you your last wish and strangle your throat with these very hands." edward reminisces, speaking bitterly as he brought his hand up to your forehead and tried to soothe the pained expression in your face. "but i couldn't do it. i'm a fool who's still waiting for you to wake up when everything is all over just as you once wished."
"everyone thinks i murdered you..." edward murmurs, "how detestable of humans to spark those rumors. i could never hurt you, even if it was to release you from your agony. a coward like myself could only hide you and hope to protect you from the confines of my own prison." he continues.
"lately, i couldn't bear anyone calling me by my name. it reminds me of your voice." edward adds, his hand coming to comb through your hair, his eyes soft just like his voice. "i asked them to call me ed instead, i think i heard a human regard it as a nickname." he heaves another sigh thereafter.
"please wake up soon." edward muttered under his breath as he leaned in and placed a kiss on your forehead, "i'd like to hear my name fall from your lips again, that way i would feel this still heart beat once more for you.”
Hello everyone!
If you are not already aware Israel plans on attacking Rafah on March 10th which is "coincidentally" the same day that the Oscars is happening. Don't watch the Oscars, keep your attention on Rafah. Keep your eyes on Palestine. Instead of watching the Oscars, post about Palestine, share links that help the people of Palestine. Donate e-sims or money to help the Palestinians. Continue boycotting as much as you can, do what you can to help.
Links to help:
https://www.pcrf.net/
Hello.
I am Laila Shaqura, a Palestinian, displaced from northern Gaza to the south due to the war.
We live in very difficult conditions here, especially after entering Rafah. There is no safe place to go. We now live in a tent west of the city of Rafah, where insects, garbage, and epidemics spread due to the lack of necessary treatments and clean drinking water. We were all infected with hepatitis and it was very difficult. In addition to that, the very high temperature here in the tent, the bombing and destruction everywhere, we live in terror here.
Our future and education have been destroyed, neither schools nor universities.
Amon was supposed to have finished high school this year, and then I would go to university and fulfill the dream of years, but unfortunately everything was destroyed. Our homes, our memories, and our childhood were destroyed.
Even the basic necessities of life have become unavailable.
In fact, we are struggling to survive.
There is no safe place and there is no solution but to leave the country, but unfortunately travel costs are very high.
My uncle set up a fundraising link for us to help evacuate us to safety.
Please help us and share it on your page or with your friends, thank you🩶
PLEASE talk about Congo, Haiti, and Sudan, with the same fervor you give Palestine. PLEASE care about black struggle and suffering.
Sudanese gfm
These are some Sudanese gfm that need your attention and their profiles; i will update the post if I find new fgm for Sudan.
FAMILIES WHO NEED TO FLEE THE WAR
1: Help Aalaa's family escape to safety
Aalaa's twitter accaunt
2: Help Abudjana rebuild after war
3: Help Mohamed leave Sudan
His twitter accaunt
5: Help Asjad and her Family Escape War in Sudan
Her twitter accaunt
6: Help Randa's Family flee war in Sudan
Her twitter accaunt
@rnd8
7: Help a family of five escape the war in Sudan
Twitter accaunt
8: Support a community in Sudan
Twitter accaunt
9: Help support families in Kassab IDP camp
10: Help Jameela and her family escape the war in Sudan
11: Help a family of six to escape the war in Sudan
13: Help a family escape the war in Sudan: one member suffers from Dystonia
14: Help Sai's family escape the war in Sudan
Twitter Accaunt
15: Help a family of seven escape the war in Sudan
16: Help a family of eight to escape the war in Sudan
17: Support South Sudanese Evacuation from Sudan
18: Help Mohamed Farah Family Escape Conflict in Sudan
19: Emergency funds for a family
20: Support Sakina's Family's Journey to Safety
Twitter accaunt
SUPPORT PEOPLE ON THE GROUD
1: Support Families impacted by the war
2: SUPPORT THE KHARTOUM KITCHERN
Twitter accaunt
3: The Save El Geneina initiative which aims to provide services to all Sudanese
4: Help Eman Abdel Rahman rebuild his life after his home was destroyed (@emooz-8)
Twitter accaunt
SUPPORT REFUGEES
1: Help Sudanese refugees stranded in Olala forests, Ethiopia
IF YOU CAN'T DONATE PLEASE REPOST, THEY NEED TO GET OUT
Keep Eyes On Sudan
I am consumed by fear that my mother might die in Gaza while I am far away, unable to help her. The thought of her suffering alone in such a dangerous place breaks my heart. I feel so helpless and terrified, knowing I can't be there to protect her or bring her to safety. Every day is filled with anxiety and dread, as I hope and pray for her survival amidst the chaos.
today's vetted fundraisers. eid just began - instead of a happy time of togetherness and celebration, families like these are having to spend the holy days amidst the cruelest of circumstances, deprived of all components of safe and healthy life. now is a more vital time than ever to support these campaigns. any contribution you can make is valuable.
june 16th:
Dentist Tamer Al-Deeb, his brother (also a doctor), and their parents (€8,206/€40,000) - @tameraldeeb, verified by @/ibtisams
Samer Abu Ras, his wife Shurooq, and their three young children (kr8,220 SEK/kr450,000 SEK) - @sameraburass, verified by @/ibtisams
Mohammad Awni and his family of six (€1,535/€45,000) - @mohamedawnisblog, verified by @/nabulsi
Mohammed Al-Azayza and his family, including a young child with Down syndrome (kr2,043 SEK/kr200,000 SEK) - @hamouda-az, verified by @/sayruq
Iyad Sami, his wife Amal Mahmoud, and their four children (the family has been separated for months) (CHF291/CHF20,000) - @eyadsami, verified by @/mohamedalanqer
Momen Alostaz's family of ten (including his chronically ill parents and a newborn) (€10,938/€70,000) - @mo98h, verified by @/palipunk
The Abu Shammalah family of eight (€7,194/€100,000) - @ahmed8311, verified by @/el-shab-hussein
Mahmoud Khalaf's family of eight (€6,129/€30,000) - @mahmoudkhalaff, verified by @/ibtisams
Amani Hasan and her three children ($8,249/$17,732) - @amani93gaza, verified by @/nabulsi
Suad Ahmad, her husband, and several extended family members (Suad is pregnant and urgently needs medical care and a safe place to have her baby) ($10,436/$28,000) - @suad-ahmad, verified by @/fallahifag
if the list seems extra long today, take it as a signal that your help, in whatever form you can give, is urgently needed.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-escape-gaza-a-mothers-plea-for-safety
Dear friends and supporters,
I write to you with a heavy heart but also with hope. My name is Hala, a child from Gaza, born in 2010. I have witnessed all the wars in my city.
Now I live in a tent with my mother, brother and sister. We live in constant fear of death and miss our school days, my classmates, and my education.
I am sharing my story to get your support and help in my campaign to evacuate from Gaza so that I can live in peace and continue my education.
Please share this post with your friends, family, and anyone who can help.
Let's work together to achieve this simple dream of living a safe life and going back to school.
Thank you for your support and care.
with your donation, you can be the light that lights up my life and the life of my mother, brother and sister, and this small donation can make a big difference in our lives.
Hala
Even if you cannot donate, please send this link to anyone you know and share it online 🩷
🚨🚨🚨
Hello,
I am Tamer Al-Deeb, a Palestinian dentist from Gaza.
[Picture of Tamer before the war in his clinic]
I have hesitated and delayed for a long time to write these words and create an account on GoFundMe, but the need has become very urgent due to what I see of death approaching myself and my family.
To begin our story, it is important to introduce my family, who are the core of my existence and the source of my strength during these turbulent times:
We are a family of four suffering for over 9 months from a brutal war that spares neither humans nor stones.
Mother: The Heart of Our Home
My mother embodies generosity and kindness as a devoted homemaker, always prioritizing her family's well-being. Her unwavering love remains our sanctuary amidst the chaos.
Father: The Pillar of Strength
My father, Majed, a dedicated professor, faced the destruction of the university he served. Despite this, his commitment to education and society remains unshaken.
Brother: A Beacon of Healing
My brother, Mohammad, a compassionate doctor, confronts the challenges of healthcare amidst dwindling supplies and occupation brutality, showcasing remarkable dedication to healing.
Tamer: A Dream Deferred
As for myself, Tamer, I was on the verge of a new beginning, with aspirations to further my career in Germany. I had saved thousands of dollars for the mandatory block account to support my stay abroad. However, the conflict has not only shattered my professional dreams but also consumed what didn't burn of my savings, compelling me to fight for my family's survival amidst the escalating costs of basic human necessities.
[Picture of the family before the war]
I have lost the lives of my dearest friends, neighbors, and much of what I loved.
We have lost our home with all its dreams and memories. A five-floor house completely leveled to the ground!!
[Pictures of the destroyed house]
I lost my clinic, my only source of livelihood.
[picture of the clinic]
My neighborhood .
[picture of the destroyed neighborhood]
Since the beginning of the war, we were forced to flee our home in the north of the Gaza Strip to the supposed safe area in the south. But unfortunately, this was just the beginning. We have been displaced four times in the same southern area, fleeing from death always surrounding us.
Initially, we fled to a school belonging to the UNRWA in the Nuseirat camp until we were forced to move to another area, and the Maghazi camp was the intended destination. Then a UNRWA school, where we were residing in a tent inside, was targeted, killing 7 civilians. We were forced to flee again to a tent in Rafah, but the scarcity of clean water and the spread of epidemics and diseases forced us to flee again to a UNRWA school in the Deir Al-Balah area until now.
UNRWA has been providing refuge to hundreds of displaced families for the past six months at schools that have become vital community hubs, offering shelter to thousands of individuals trapped in the southern region.
Women and children sleep inside classrooms, and the men sleep outside in tents set up in the courtyard. Rainstorms recently have flooded our tents, and it's very difficult to take care of our basic needs.
[Pictures of Tamer after the war in the UNRWA school and his tent]
I am currently volunteering at Al-Aqsa Hospital, assisting in the maxillofacial surgery department. However, a sense of helplessness and despair often overwhelms me. It's hard to put into words the horrors and injuries I witness daily. Surrounded by the shroud of death and the cries of the wounded, I feel powerless. "I want to save you, I want you to live," I often think, "I will do everything in my power to make it happen!" Sadly, many times, they become part of the countless casualties from my homeland. The shortages in food, water, and medical supplies are dire, to the extent that we sometimes perform surgeries without anesthesia. The suffering is unimaginable.
Now we hope to escape death, we hope for the end of the war, we hope to leave the Gaza Strip, and we hope to live a decent life away from bombing, occupation, and destruction.
It has been 9 months of hell and horror. This genocide has been too long to bear, and our mental health and lives are in constant danger. (I can’t describe enough what I have been dealing with daily in the hospitals for the past days. We have reached a point where there is no hope left for us here in Gaza, where we are unfortunately just waiting for our turn to die, and even if there is a ceasefire, the destruction in Gaza is beyond prompt repair
Evacuation fees are expensive, especially now that I have no source of income. Once we can evacuate, your donations will cover our travel expenses and help us get immediate support in Egypt. There will be meal expenses, wardrobe expenses, emergency expenses, etc., but no generous contribution will go to waste.
To cross the “Rafah” Gaza-Egypt Borders, you need to have your name listed in the Crossing List (paid permit), and coordinators in Egypt who have the power to add my family’s names to the list at the border are now asking for anywhere from $6-8,000 per PERSON! They will not add the names until we can prove we have the money ready.
I ask for your help because this is not just my battle alone, but a battle in which we seek your helping hand to survive and preserve our families. Any donation, big or small, will have a huge impact on the lives of my family and me. I am grateful to everyone who donates, and I will remain grateful forever for giving hope and opportunity to me and my family to survive and build a better future.
Thank you for reading my story. For sharing my story with your friends and family. I hope, there is a ceasefire, and we can get the rest and safety we deserve to build our lives all over again. ❤️
Tamer Al-Deeb
Our campaign is vetted by :
- @ibtisams 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here
- @90-ghost 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here
- @el-shab-hussein 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here
- @fairuzfan 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here
- @palestinegenocide 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here
- @sar-soor 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here
- @vakarians-babe 🫶🇵🇸 : Click here
- @el-shab-hussein 🫶🇵🇸& @nabulsi 🫶🇵🇸 on Vetted Gaza Fundraiser List Number [ 191 ] : Click here
IT’S NOT A WANT IT’S A NEED
tonight we die as a family, mohammed el-kurd
[english on the left as published in the poetry review & translated into urdu on the right by @/smuntahaali on instagram]
The Columbia University student divestment encampment protest, April 2024
I am now very sad because of what gofundme did to me. I cannot get the money after you all helped me and my family and we were close to getting out of here and going to a safe place.
Hello guys i have good news and bad news.
The good news that I'm finally in Egypt now with my youngest brother and the bad news is my mother and my other brother with his wife still in Rafah waiting to evacute to Egypt.
I feel so sad and depressed for leaving them i should stayed and get out together.
for fanfic writers and readers
as a black girl who loves a lot of different movies and shows, fanfic allows me to read stories that put me in the middle of my favorite things. however, fanfic often (unintentionally) excludes girls who look like me.
i am so sick and tired of reading a fanfiction and having to rewrite it in my brain because a character description immediately implies that the reader is white. if you don't know what i mean, here are some examples.
"your skin turned pink" or "you blushed": black girls and women with darker skin tones CANNOT blush. our skin does not just turn pink
"pulled your hair into a messy bun": my 4a hair cannot be pulled into a messy bun at random. i may be able to do a ponytail if i have braids in, and i might be able to tie it up if I have an old twist-out, but a "messy bun" is often not possible.
"he ran his hands through your hair": yeah...unless my hair is in a silk press (and an OLD silk press), that's not happening
there are a plethora of other examples that would make this post insanely long, so let me get to the point. there are very easy ways to make fanfic a bit more inclusive; all you have to do is tweak a few character descriptions. OR, put in your pairing or warnings that the reader is implied to be white.
and finally: please, please stop tagging your DARK fanfictions "xblack!reader." i am tired of searching for fluff under the black reader tag and finding non-con, dark themes, etc., ESPECIALLY when the fic ends up being for a white reader💀.
the goal of my page is to create a safe space for black girls who love reading fanfiction. i am only one person, so if you'd like to help, here are some ways to do that!
send me fics (preferably marvel and stranger things to start) that are with a black reader
comment some other things in fanfics that imply that the reader is white or that make the fic a little less accessible
REBLOG FICS BY BLACK WRITERS
i am so tired of the famous people who don't speak about the current gen0cide happening right now and they're excuses is always like "well i'm not educated enough !!" or "i don't get involved in politics !!" like no, i am a child so i don't know much but the internet has helped me learn about this and to spread awareness and this isn't about politics anymore, this is a gen0cide, millions of lives and homes were loss and the least you can do is to speak out about it, this is not a war, this is not a conflict, this is a gen0cide. /srs
Some set themselves on fire to save others, and some refuse to say a single word. FREE PALESTINE!
"In my heart, there is a map of Palestine, and on it, every village has a story, every olive tree has a name."
Fuck the white house
Fuck the U.S government
Fuck Israel
🚨 IMPORTANT 🚨
How do you feel as you look at your house burning in front of you? You do not know what this feeling is and you will not know because you have never lived like it before. We are dying here in Gaza. Every day our homes and loved ones are burned 😭💔
Maybe 10$ save my life and make different 🍉‼️
Believe in what you see not in what they said
