No, See, Because Dick Is The Funniest Result Of Being Raised By Bruce And Alfred In That He Can Cook

In a context where Batman is known and seen through his public League appearances, the misogynistic, homophobic, "alpha male" guys start using his image to illustrate their discourse of going to the gym, and seeking submissive women. They admire and misinterpret his traits as endorsements of their toxic masculinity. Online, they share images of Batman with stuff like "Be the Alpha, Be the Batman". They even use the word Batmen as a synonym to Alpha Male. "Real Batmen don't show weakness".

When Bruce becomes aware of this, he hates it. He despises them for all their messed up views, knowing they completely misunderstand his principles. Batman's true strength lies in his commitment to justice, empathy, and respect for all individuals, values that are fundamentally opposed to the toxic masculinity they promote. Bruce is determined to distance his image from their rhetoric, seeing them as nothing more than sexist and homophobic idiots.

So he decides to be a tiny tiny bit more Brucie when they appear in public. Not in form, but in substance :

When he's asked a question, he tries to go "I have no clue, I'd have to ask Black Canary.", or "I'm not sure, I'd have to see what Wonder Woman thinks about that", or "This time, we really couldn't have done anything, anything at all, without Supergirl."

Also, Batman becomes more visibly affectionate with Superman. During public appearances, if he senses a camera on them, he makes sure to be seen clinging to Superman. He would rather face dating rumors every day than be associated with those idiotic discourses.

(It's also a good premise for a superbat fake-dating fic !!)

jason es un hermano amoroso pero raro

So I get the idea in my head that Jason is a very loving brother, but in his own way. They never showed him any real affection, but sometimes his mother did, but in a weird, silly way. Jason usually arrives at the mansion pushing everyone with his broad shoulders and weird smile. But then when he's feeling genuinely sentimental, he comes and steals his brothers' food. It doesn't matter that he doesn't even like Damian's vegan food. He just takes a bite and moves on. But then he sits down, looks his brothers in the eyes, and with a thick, intimidating voice, says, "Tim, I love you, but... I'd trade you for a pizza." He always does that. He mentions anything edible, and that's it. His brothers are offended and touched by it, so they usually give him chocolates as a token of affection or cook something he really likes so that when Jason steals their food, he'll enjoy it.

Básicamente escribo esto porque es lo que yo hago con mis hermanos.

Porciento vi un post de que Jason es fan de las donitas Bimbo pero la verdad yo soy fiel creyente de que el es el fan número 1 de los buñuelos Bimbo. No puedo dejar de imaginar cómo alfred lo regala porque deja boronas en la baticomputadora

I've been putting off writing a fic soooo long but oh my days, LIFE is not having it.

Is this karma for wanting to write about a...a..straight 🤮 couple.

Tried to fall asleep and got bamboozled by the image of little Jason Todd having no friends or toys to play, stuck in his house, worried for his mom, who entertains himself by sitting in the corner and doing an awkward shadow theatres and reciting his own scenarios. And then instantly thought of older Jason, still quite lonely, who doesn't necessarily do little plays, but who sometimes still plays with shadows quietly, maybe a tad sadly. Always alone, always having nothing but himself.

the thing that always gets me ESPECIALLY about autistic representation in media is that we are universally portrayed as happy-go-lucky, whimsical children, completely oblivious to the fact that the world constantly judges and scorns and HATES us.

We notice. I noticed. The reason I am as messed up as I am today is because i spent 20 LONG years in an environment where every day i was subjected to that. To noticing.

what an absolutely neurotypical view of us. Coddling themselves, getting to act like the way they treat us is fine because we don't understand that our peers dont respect us. Why would we? We're so subhuman to them, it's like asking if your cat notices you playfully insulting it.

Every autistic person I've ever met is on some level bitter and angry and TRAUMATIZED at their upbringing. Of having to go through school as the laughing stock, as the weirdo with no friends who no one wants to talk to, as the animal in the corner you can make do cheap tricks so they can experience some Simulacra of what genuine human connection is.

Now tell me, does it sound like I didn't notice?

Tim drake complaining to DICK GRAYSON about his dad will always be so funny to me . This boy has his foot in his mouth...i love him

The Batcave has a “Do Not Talk To Me” couch. It’s sacred. It’s unspoken. It’s real.

okay so. picture this:

the batcave has one couch. it's in the corner. it’s hideous. it’s like beige or green or something equally offensive to every one of their aesthetics. no one likes the couch.

and that is exactly why it became sacred.

because one night jason just. drops onto it. full gear. bleeding. absolutely done with life. says nothing. doesn’t even take off the helmet. sits there in silence for 3 hours and then leaves.

next week tim uses it. sits there post-mission. face in hands. someone tries to ask if he’s okay and jason throws a batarang at them.

and thus it began.

Rules of the Do Not Talk To Me Couch:

You sit there? No one speaks to you.

You cry? No you didn’t.

You eat cold noodles off your chest at 4 a.m.? That’s sacred time.

If someone tries to comfort you? They are excommunicated for 12 hours.

Dick (sitting on the couch):

Damian: Grayson, are you—

Jason (from across the cave): HE’S ON THE COUCH.

Jason: I don’t make the rules.

Steph: You LITERALLY made the rules.

Jason: And I am the defender of the rules. There’s a difference.

one time damian storms in. covered in blood. absolutely furious. 10/10 rage goblin energy. throws his sword. marches to the couch. sits. arms crossed. steaming.

tim takes one look at him and goes: “i’m making tea.”

jason: “that’s acceptable. tea is allowed. talking is not.”

bonus:

once bruce sits on it.

and the ENTIRE CAVE goes silent.

tim literally freezes mid-typing. cass stops mid-flip. jason just mutters “oh shit.”

they all leave. immediately.

the couch is not ready for bruce.

extra bonus:

alfred vacuums around the couch. never says a word. leaves snacks in a silent offering. once placed a weighted blanket gently on jason’s shoulder. that’s different. he’s allowed.

dick: jason gave me a flower today. He came up to me, all exited, then he handed me a flower and ran away giggling. I feel so special

Roy: what.

Kory: he did the same for me! How adorable right! It reminded me from when he was young. Perhaps he's trying to reconnect with his younger self? Try to live the rest of his youth?

Dick: mayhaps.

Roy: that's not a real word. And why did he gave you guys flowers and not me!

Kyle and donna walking past them,

Kyle: oh you guys received flowers? We did too!

Donna: yeah look! He even pressed it for me to use as a bookmark!

Roy: why would he give YOU FLOWERS?

artemis: I received a flower aswell, it smells acceptable.

Roy: I'm going to-

Barb, rolling up : what are we talking about here?

Dick: evreyone except for Roy got flowers from jason

Barb: oh? Did he act weird with yall too? Like he was shy but happy to give the flowers?

Kyle: now that you say it.. yeah?

Roy: so unfair! I want to see a shy jason too!!

Kory: why would he be shy with you. You're his best friend!

Roy: why would he be shy with dick! He's his brother!

Dick: I'm also like- his favorite hero!

Artemis: no that's wonder woman

Dick: well then I'm his favorite batfam member!

Barb: ehem.

dick: me and barb* are his favorite batfam members.

Roy, continues to argument.

Jason, who's been planting flowers, and very happy about how the flowers he's been giving out have been accepted happily.

Roy finds flowers in a vase, in his room later that day.

Considering how calculating Jason is with his comically complicated plans and many backup plans and probably practiced speeches, and how starved he is for social interaction, and how he wasn't exactly socialised properly for a chunk of his childhood and like all of his teenage years- do you ever wonder if he rehearses interactions before getting into them? If he bites his tongue and spends all that time pondering how to best convey what he actually means to say, calculates strategies to get the reaction he's looking for?

You ever wonder how it never, ever works?

so uhhh. yeah.