I Mean, It’s Doesn’t Look The Ratdetector13 Has Found It Yet, So 🤷

Haha I know you

Whaaaaaat???? No!

Jason, being a semi-canonic common hallucination in the family after his death, could lead to the stupidest AU ever.

Imagine everyone seeing him — Bruce, half of the time, Dick non-stop, Tim more often than not, and eventually even Alfred starts seeing little boy's silhouette in the corner of his eye, but he never admits it, because someone needs to stay sane in this family.

It is a lot like real-life cases when cult families start to see collective hallucination, and it somehow syncronises in their minds, so they hear and see the same things, you know?

So, yeah, everyone sees Jaybin around.

Everyone but Damian. Damian is a normal one. He also knows his Akhi is alive and well, so whatever. And it takes him some time to figure out that his family is bat-shit insane, but when he does, he decides to use it on his advantage.

Damian, calling Jason: Akhi, you should visit me. It is getting awfully boring here.

Jason, frowning: You know I can't. They think I am dead, and I can't risk my plan, especially now, when Red Hood is gaining-

Damian: We will pretend you are a hallucination.

Jason: ...What?

Damian: So, there is a plan...

So, a few days after this call, Jason arrives at the Wayne Manor. He still thinks his brother's plan sucks, but gaslighting is one of his many talents, so surely, they will figure something out. He can lie his way through this meeting.

Expect, he doesn't even need to lie. His family is actually insane.

Bruce, bumping in Jason:

Jason, staring back: Uh-

Bruce: Wow. You look so grown-up. And we look so alike. Nice one, brain.

Jason: ?..

Tim, leaving his room: Hi, B, hi- Oh, damn. Hi, Jaybin. Nice leather jacket.

Bruce: Right? I guess his ghost just grows up with us now.

Jason: ????

Alfred, nodding along, out of nowhere: Master Dick will hate it. He looks taller now.

All of them: (peacefully leave the room)

Jason: What. The. Fuck.

Jason waits for the moment of clarity to happen as he chats with Damian in the kitchen, but... nothing changes. They really, really think he is a hallucination. So... he starts hanging out around more. Both because Damian is getting angsty, and because it is kinda... amusing.

Tim, stuck on the same case for a few nights, non-stop: Oh, it is really just me and you in this, Jason.

Jason, playing Mario Cart on the table by his side: Maybe take a nap, dude.

Tim: No, I need to figure out this case with-

Jason, rolling his eyes: Red Hood had already dealt with it. Go to sleep.

Tim: ...You are such a good self-care kind of hallucination.

Jason: ...

Damian: Your bets, when will they realise that you are a real person?

Jason: At this point, I am not sure that they will, even if I start screaming that I am real.

Damian: Fair. I bet a year would do.

Jason: ...A year and a half.

Dick visits the Manor. He cooes at Jason, muttering something about "of course, he would have grown up in a punk," and Jason almost breaks his role to hit him on the head.

Jason, arms folded on his chest: You know, you need serious help, dad.

Bruce, blinking at him slowly: Probably. You know what else I need?

Jason: Sleep? Retirement? To stop adopting strays? The list is endless, man.

Bruce: ...Coffee. I need more coffee.

Jason, groaning: What the fuck!!!

Alfred figures out that Jason is real, eventually. Solely because he catches him sneaking a few extra cookies, and hallucinations are not supposed to eat. He plays along with him and Damian until the very end, anyway.

(Damian ends up winning the bet because Jason loses it once and pushes Bruce down the stairs, when he starts reciting some precautionary tale about him. Everyone is flabbergasted.)

The Rat.

guys.

this is a post about a rat. now lets see how big we can get it before ratdetector13 finds it. share it with as many people as you can but not them, and don't add any rat tags.

Original from here

Reblogging because anything with Ma Strong mentioned immediately gets me <3

more urinetown headcanons!

ma strong knits.

unfortunately bobby is allergic to wool, and her husband is dead. so.

little sally gets the most charity bc shes a little girl and shes smart so she plays it up but can turn on a dime and kick a man in the shins if he doesnt give her money

nothing you tell me will convince me that little sally does not take immense joy in kicking rich people

hot blades harry and little becky two shoes should host a true crime podcast and then decide whether or not they could have gotten away with the same murder

bobby unironically listens to yodelling and shoegaze exclusively

tiny tom's favorite movie is cars 2

officer lockstock is really good at playing the kazoo

officer barrel plays the irish whistle

these talents, however, are both their respective most shamed secrets, so neither of them know about the other's musical talents

hope is a granola girl

she has the white stanley waterbottle

officer barrel is obsessed with lord of the rings

lockstock is a slight doomsday prepper and has a basement full of canned food and survival supplies

lockstock and barrel watched 12 angry men once together and barrel has never has a better day in his life

bobby strong is scared of children

oh my god someone give that man a kitten to take care of

the poor will collectively take care of each other. they share food, their homes, it's a very tight knit community.

cladwell always has jazz music playing on a record player in his office

hot blades harry cant sleep without a night-light

pennywise was really into candlemaking before the drought

barrel would let someone off the hook and spare them from urinetown in exchange for a puff off their joint

BEAUTIFUL HOPE ART

dancer hope cladwell. throws this at you and scampers away like a feral animal

My blog is inclusive for people of all genders and sexualities!! <3

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

musicals that contain rebellion against oppressive authorities are becoming more relevant day by day

i keep changing my usertag lmao-

will i ever stop? who knows! :D