Latest Posts by blitherdooble - Page 3

2025

really shocking that it's 2025 already. 2024 was a journey of both self discovery and self annihilation, one that made me realize many harsh and beautiful truths about myself. i have learned a lot and look forward to using my knowledge this year. i will strive to protect my peace, find solace in silence, and taking things one step at a time, either forwards or backwards, all in the name of progress towards ambition.

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song of the day: the price of ambition-arcane

spent some quality time with my sister today and got some things off my chest. went out to eat and it was glorious. i love mashed potatoes.

research: finished and uploaded my blog article on fungal molds for editing but i want to be extra and make a drawing. almost done with the intro for our research paper and started on the methodology section. hopefully we can finish the outline before the wet lab data comes back.

tomorrow: tomorrow will be a calculus day: i plan to review all of calc 1 and have a tutor review calc 2 so i get a headstart.

I yearn for so much.

“I don’t want to be a sweetheart. I want to be the fucking love of your life.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

i simply adore the softness of winter. (i will be going back to icy uphill roads on campus in a week)

found some screenshots of the notes i made half a year ago. half a year ago i went through my worst heartbreak. somehow i can’t bring myself to regret anything. i have so much love to give and that is a strength. i can forgive and live freely.

heart (n)

a hollowed thing. the size of a fist. made up of multiple layers of tissue, each peeling away as their part is played. the center of the circulatory system, the controller of life. essential. beats sharing, taking. made of glass-blown sculptural imperfection. a tapestry. woven stories, of spools of thread. stained in all the wrong places. an actor, one that cannot lie. a symphony of movement. yet to be tuned, a hesitant metronome. moderato, a drum hit 2.5 billion times, the ending note being all that the audience remembers.

sound the drum and let the act begin

Winter is cold for those who do not have warm memories

hi!! any youtube chemistry channels recommendations?

Hello, I definitely do have some!

Something more theoretical:

Three Twentysix: positively one of my favorite yt channels ever, so many interesting concepts explained simply but also in depth at the same time. Highly recommended!

Periodic videos: they have a video for each of the elements but they also talk about all sorts of different chemistry things + The Professor is really funny (and rn is the perfect time to watch their video on the emerald Christmas tree :))

Chemistorian for some history of chemistry as the name suggests

Not a channel but The Royal Institution's playlist on chemistry

More in-lab action and syntheses:

NileRed (obviously. How could I possibly not include him)

ChemicalForce for the more explosive and dangerous (and cool!!) side of chemistry

Explosions&Fire who is absolutely hilarious and whose content I'd recommend even to non-chemists

Chemiolis if you're into organic synthesis

Apoptosis where you can get both organic and inorganic

Simons Nuclearchemistry: what it says on the tin

Honorable mention:

Reactions which I'd say is the most pop-science-y on this list but I think it can be fun especially if you're new to chemistry :)

thank you for tagging me, @sugaredpastille <3

last song: laura plays the piano- akira yamaoka

fav color: (dark) green

last book: life sculpted- anthony j. martin

last film: crimson peak- 2015

last tv show: hannibal (nbc)- 2013

sweet/spicy/savory: savory but i also like sweet

relationship status: single and yearning

last thing i googled: "why r code being stupid"

current obsessions: coffee rings in notebooks, flake stickers, soft cookies. mashed potatoes. cute small oranges.

looking forward to: next semester and having half the day free to make my notes pretty with new stickers! (i shoved my lectures all in the mornings)

i tag @h0n3ym00n333, @lizziesnook

had a quiet day today

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song of the day: sticky- tyler, the creator

about halfway through priming for my courses. i was a little disappointed with the poor quality of the notebooks at the store but at least i have something to write in now.

also planned out my new years which helped destress.

sadly didn't get 100% completion in the horror game i wanted to finish: it is about 2 hours long and i must replay it for the zero deaths run. maybe i'll finish it in a few months.

research: didn't get any writing done today but since the base structure is already there, i just need a little more information and edit. i hope to finish it tomorrow but it will probably take a few days, realistically.

tomorrow's goal: finish priming for my courses and get started on calculus review (didn't get the best mark last semester). bake cookies? go swimming.

it's really shocking and sad to think that i only have a week left with my family before i go across the country and back to being totally alone. but i'm enjoying the time i have now which is all that matters.

instagram: norubrum

241227

song of the day: where are you- 54 ultra

mostly ran errands today which took much longer than anticipated. i had to push the majority of my tasks to tomorrow. despite that my mood was great which is a win in my books. i bought a new planner for 2025 and it has already proven to be useful.

research: assigned tasks to my team. (we are a little behind schedule for our publication). sent out a few emails to the journal.

selfcare: on the last bit of a horror game i've been wanting to play for a while. i might finish it tomorrow. also did a bit of drawing but i don't expect to have much time for that as the new semester is starting.

tomorrow: buying a new notebook. after that i can get started with preparing for the new semester. key goals: make topic list, mind map, set up notes. i'm quite excited to decorate the pages with all the new stickers i got. i also plan to finish my blog article (which is due in a week).

One day you think: I want to die. And then you think, very quietly, actually I want a coffee. I want a nap. A sandwich. A book. And I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friends, I want to sit in the sun. I want a cleaner room, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else, I want to live.

It’s a privilege to study, many women around the world are barred from this human right: to read, write and learn. Be grateful anytime your pen touches paper, or you are learning theorems developed by intelligent, hardworking men and women from ages ago.

It’s a pleasure and a privilege to learn. Not only is it a privilege to study, but you should be aiming and striving to take science, medicine, law, philosophy, art further than the marker we have reached. It’s a comforting thought to think, from your work generations of humanity down the line will benefit.

How many brilliant women were in the shadows of amazing feats of science and technology and life changing patents? Contribute while you can. If you pour into knowledge - it will pour back into you.

light academia this dark academia that; there is one real academia and it’s made of rubber dusts, papercuts on fingers, oily hair that hasn’t been washed in a week, big yawns, used up highlighters, dark eyebags, missed deadlines and piled up books

little photo dump from semester of fall 2024.

intro.

welcome to my little blog. here I document my daily life and anything interesting. reason? because i am lonely and need motivation.

about me:

vin (he/him). born in 2007.

first year, BSc in anatomy & cell biology. minor in biomedical engineering.

pre med, studying to become a cardiac surgeon.

academic interests: nanotechnology, medical technology, synthetic biology, biomedical engineering, tissue engineering, biomaterials

hobbies: writing, badminton, oil painting, gaming (wanted hobbies: motorcycling, cello, archery, fencing)

languages: english, mandarin chinese, A2/B1 french. want to learn italian and spanish.

goals: become someone i will never regret, give my parents a comfortable life, make a personal impact in someone's life.

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

people who work/study in quantitative bio-adjacent fields, rise up. computational neuroscience where you get to see someone's thoughts in feelings in graph form??? so cool. biophysics where you can pass blood plasma through an electric field to determine whether a patient has cancer or not?? unbelievable. biomedical engineering where you can literally build a device to pump someone's heart and be the difference between their life and death??? oh my god. disease modelling, being able to predict AND prevent communities being affected by disease on a large scale through your analysis of data??? i love science

oil on canvas. started and finished in one day. a little rushed but it made my father (it was a gift for him) happy so it’s worth it. sorry about the glare: it is not dry enough for the matte finish.

introduction.

now that i have begun a blog here, i shall introduce myself. admittedly i am not all that good at tech stuff... i've always stayed away from the more computational side of science, so please excuse me if i make any mistakes.

general:

i fall under the trans umbrella. i was born a woman, but i have yet to figure out who i truly wish to be. i hope i do one day, however right now i prefer he/they pronouns: she/her pronouns make me uncomfortable, yet i understand differing beliefs and have no problem if i am referred to as she/her.

i am studying to become a cardiac surgeon: i want to be skilled in surgery, specifically cardiac surgery, and travel the world to provide medical/surgical care to areas lacking access to such care, such as warzones, less developed countries, and rural areas.

i have never been officially diagnosed with anxiety nor depression, at least not on paper. many doctors and therapists have told me i have strong symptoms and i have gotten pills prescribed. you may expect posts about my mental health, as i have no one in my life to talk about them to.

my favourite animals are cats, snakes, and otters. maybe penguins. i like dark green and dark red. my favourite band is the arctic monkeys- i went to their concert last year and enjoyed it immensely.

school:

i am a pre med student pursuing a bachelor's of science in honours anatomy and cell biology. as of now, i am a first year. i am debating between a minors in medical anthropology, biomedical engineering, or if i will even do a minors at all. we shall see.

research:

my interests lay in biomedical engineering. i enjoy learning about the applications, design, and challenges of nanotechnology, specifically tissue engineering. i also enjoy learning about the designs and ideas behind medical technology, however i don't believe myself to be enough of an engineer to pursue it myself. my current project is collaborative: i co-lead a dry lab team on writing a research paper using results from our wet labs, where they are developing a biomimetic bioadhesive. truly fascinating stuff.

hobbies:

sports: badminton, swimming, figure skating, trying to get into fencing and archery

instruments: voice (soprano, alto, tenor), piano, flute, want to learn cello

art: i enjoy oil paints the most, however i am also proficient in basically all other mediums like watercolour, acrylic, charcoal, pastels... i have been challenging myself to do sculptures lately too. i prefer landscape paintings however i also sketch still life and portraits.

other: i enjoy reading and writing. i mostly read nonfiction nowadays (ex. books about fish evolution. seems boring but it is quite fascinating) however i have always held a fondness for "classics". my creative writing style is very descriptive. in every sentence i write, i wish to covey yearning and beauty. it is a shame that i do not get to practice my writing much anymore. i also enjoy baking and cooking. in the future, i want to learn how to ride a motorcycle and buy myself a batcycle (aka. a kawasaki or yamaha fully black bike. they look sick.).

language:

i speak english and mandarin chinese fluently. i am proficient in french. i wish to learn italian and spanish.

i'm not too sure how many facts to include here before i sound like a narcissist. i shall end it here. (i really want a white ball python they are so adorable).

birth.

just read a modern au jayvik fic where viktor had a tumblr account and it kind of changed my brain chemistry. i have decided to post here from now on, documenting my life and goals. and also in part to practice my writing. i figured that having this to document things is loads better than venting to chatgpt, even if only one person sees my posts. if i end up gaining a following, or if even one person is reading this, i appreciate you and thank you. may we all forge on through the journey called life and define and evolve to be the best version of ourselves together.