Changed My Username From Cis-man-echo To Boymoder-echo To Better Reflect My Status As A Cute Boy That

I can’t wait for your guy self to win. Do you think it’ll be long before it happens?

At the moment I’m the girl self so I can say something from kind of a different angle.

When I want to be a guy I take a lot of steps towards masculinization and try to sabotage my “girl self”

When I’m a girl I never really get more feminine. I never try to fix things. In fact I still engage in this detrans stuff.

It’s like… I’m just genuinely not in the mindset of BEING a girl ever anymore. A lot of the time I WANT to be a girl, like I used to be, but I’m just… not one. If I try to be all feminine it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m crossdressing. I want so badly to go back to feeling comfortable as a girl, I just can’t seem to anymore.

So to answer your question, I’m not sure it will be long.

I’ve never really drank much… like at all, but recently I’ve been very interested in intox kink and gaining and alcohol is good for both of those.

To some extent the side of detrans kink I’ve been into is “getting worse”

I wanna become gross and fat and drunk and horny and trashy

Someone said this is self harm. It is. Hot right? Make me worse and worse and worse :)

I would like to talk to new people about intox kink, it’s something I’m sort of new to and want people to talk with about it.

At the moment I’m satisfied with being a girl I think btw :) that might change by the end of the night.

I’m sorry for my strange behavior.

For anyone wondering, I am not okay.

My problems are a lot to unpack and I know I’m supposed to just be horny on here.

For anyone wondering the nature of my problems does actually indicate that maybe detrans is actually an option.

I feel like I don’t really have an actual personality or identity, I just always try to become someone else.

It’s entirely possible that’s the only reason I wanted to be a girl in the first place. I just wanted to be someone else.

rn I’m in between identities. I feel like I want to craft a definitive, ideal, permanent self to strive towards. I don’t know what the nature of this self should be. Even then I’m still just creating a character and filling a role, which I have done in the past. All I know how to do is play a character. I have no idea how to be my own person.

Should I actually be a guy maybe? I mean that would be easier. I think I do genuinely prefer being a girl but that isn’t easy. i don’t knowwwww ahhhhhh!!!

This whole thing is making me doubt even my name, which I changed 4 years ago. I only did that to try to become someone else. idk if that’s healthy. i dunno.

I can only think of this in the context of creating a new fictional character to become, I have no idea how to just be my own person.

I need help.

For the ask game- 1 🤭

Finally getting around to answering these~

How big is my penis? I think many years ago before hrt I measured it and it was 8 inches but I feel like that can’t possibly be true, I probably measured it wrong. I will say, every time I have sex with someone and they see it the reaction is always “oh my god that’s huge!” but idk I don’t really buy it. It’s definitely very thick, but long? It’s maybe average.

ooooor maybe i’m so porn brained from seeing a million porn penises that I have an unrealistic idea of what a normal size is.

Okie sorry for going crazy, back to horny times

Gonna explore my potential identity as a boy through kink <3

Whats the most stalkery shit you secretly got off on during your time as a content creator

Well it was other people stalking me, and people were definitely very creepy towards me, even recently someone from back then found my insta and slid in my dms and tried to dom me. I told him I don’t really like guys but he insisted. There was a LOT of that in 2022.

Maybe I’m gender fluid or something idk, but really I want to be binary one way or the other, permanently.

What makes you feel like a girl? Asking so you know what to get rid of.

Oh that’s an interesting question with a complicated answer and I’m not quite sure I’m in the headspace to answer it thoroughly.

To be perfectly honest I’m intersex, my genitals are mostly the same for a male so it wasn’t super explicitly obvious at first, but a lot of other things were not normal for me, so my experience with biological sex when I started puberty was not typical for a male, and I grew breasts and didn’t have much testosterone. I identified more strongly with being a girl in middle school because I felt like I related to the girls in my class more than the boys and even my experiences with my body developing made me feel like I wasn’t anything like “normal” boys. I don’t know if I mentioned this here but I actually initially transitioned in middle school and don’t even really have much experience with being male besides a window of a few years as a teenager when i gave it a shot.

My voice sounds like a cis woman’s voice, and to even sound male at all it hurts a bit after a while and doesn’t even necessarily sound convincing, my mannerisms and behaviors are typically feminine, I just generally don’t come across as male in any way.

Lately I’ve had short hair, I’ve been wearing hoodies and jeans, sometimes I don’t shave for a week.

It’s still “here’s your food honey!” “we’ll be right with you miss” “have a nice day ma’am” and men asking if I have a boyfriend, guys talking down to me and over-explaining things… It has always been this way for me. I have much more experience living the typical life of a girl and then as a woman. Even when I tried to be a guy from around age 16 to 19 it was extremely fake and I wasn’t very good at it and people still assumed I was a girl sometimes. I’d get the occasional “oh I thought you were just a tomboy” from kids I didn’t know that well in high school.

So, everything about me is female. I’m basically a cis girl with male genitals. I never had any shot of being a man. I think that’s why detrans kink is so hot to me? but it’s also why it’s so impractical.

I’m like actively trying to be a guy lately and failing, so idk what to do. I’m probably just an intersex girl.

Why wouldn’t you want to be a girl still? If you were able to pass. Do you regret changing that at all?

Honestly I’m such a mess. I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s like half of me wants to be a guy 100% of the time and half of me wants to be a girl 100% of the time and I’m fighting with myself over it. The guy half is definitely winning. I probably look more like a guy at this point considering my short hair and all.