Im screaming on the inside, and you dont care.
I had 1.5 cups of soup, and 4 oreos today (My friend offered me and i couldnt make her suspect anything). I feel so fat and bloated its not even funny. I wanna throw up, but im going to try to keep it down. I used to eat and binge daily, but now my self hate overrides any and all cravings
Fuck right and wrong. I'm doing whatever makes me happy. Im going to stop thinking about what anyone else thinks of me and my actions.
- I am who I am. Deal with it.
I knew it was too good to be true. I just knew i couldnt be happy for long.
I gave him a piece of me i know ill never get back...
I still think we were meant to be, just not forever.
-My midnight thoughts.
What the fuck are you supposed to do when everyones moving on without you? When everyone in your life doesnt want you?
it was a present from my sister. I can never forget what my first bracelet looked like. green, black and yellow zigzags, all glued together to make the string seem almost, unreal. I never took it off. I loved the feeling of wearing something and never taking it off. I guess that's why people didn't notice when I started wearing more and more bracelets, and 4 years later, my reasoning for wearing it became more of a fashion statement, but a cover up. some days, I 2oild feel brave enough to take them off, just to see if anyone would notice. they looked, they acknowledged, but they never said a word to me. not even an "are you okay?" but just an endless nightmare of stares. God, life was so much simpler before she gave me that bracelet. that one bracelet isolated me, and built a mental barrier between me and happiness. unachievable unless I was willng to pay a price. sometimes just one, sometimes 100.
What happened to me...
When i met him, it was like taking a breath of fresh air. I can get used to this...
- (I think hes the one, so i hope i dont mess this up)
This morning, I was so proud of myself. My scars had fully healed. Now, i can still feel the sting of my fresh wounds, and i cant help but wonder, "why does this make me feel so damn good?"
- i tried to stop, but it just made me worse