Me Calling Sick To Work Makes Me Look Weak Compared To This Guy.

The five four finger discount on other people’s phones.

no one talks about how good jack townsend is at pick pocketing. there’s like five points where he’s in a rough situation and he just goes “so i stole his wallet/phone while he was beating the shit out of me lol” and NO ONES NOTICED HIM YET

Tales from the Gas Station Volume 3: Travis

As part of his self-imposed redemption arc, Travis has appointed himself shipper-on-deck for Jack and anyone he thinks Jack might be interested in dating. Rosa. Jerry. O'Brien. Doc Howard. The Bathroom Cowboy. Travis has headshots of Jack and a dating profile that is only almost completely lies,and he will talk up his boy to anyone and everyone who'll listen.

Everyone's like, uh, Travis, this sounds like maybe YOU want to date Jack? And Travis is like, not really, but I will stretch to dinner, a movie and some light petting if it means he forgives me

Jack is desperately trying to collect every copy of that stupid dating profile and destroy them and get through to Travis that this is making him MORE angry, not less

Travis, as usual, does not get it

No but this shit gets me every time. Like, it wasn’t just a short little bit it was a solid two months of very real sensation/sound that he had to endure and keep his eyes closed. I feel not nearly enough focus was given to his experiencing of that just to be then slammed back into reality again.

(And that was just his FIRST time at experiencing tons of not-real time because of shenanigans.)

Guys, I don't think we give Jack enough credit for surviving Sagoth. He was mocked, abandoned, gawked at, and severely inconvenienced for months and persevered. He's got some unbelievable willpower.

This fact makes me honestly so sad. But at the same time it’s actually kinda badass on Jack’s part. The taunting beforehand though, god DAYUM Jack.

Wait a damn minute. The benjamin that got stuck in the bear traps in tftgs vol 3 was the real one wasn’t he

We all have secrets that haunt us...

“I will do no such thing, and you can’t make me!” Will never fail to absolutely destroy me every time it is one of the most Jack moments ever. MCP’s narration especially delivers it so perfectly.

Highly requested comic from TFTGS Bedside Manor

//so there's a new theatrical remaster of the tftgs volume 1 audiobook and chai's been sending me clips from it so we can go AAAAAAA at the voice-acting. and like to be fair yes i'm holding the new voice-actors to a bit of an unfair standard because i have such a specific image in my brain of the characters and their voices, but tbf i also feel the same way about some of the original audiobook voices. so y'know what it works

anyway no one asked but here's my thoughts on the voices i've heard so far:

jack - i'm sorry that's just not jack. that's not my boy. who the fuck is this. (<- too attached to the MCP narration)

jerry - i don't hate it but jerry's voice being higher pitched and not deep and kinda goofy is throwing me the fuck off!!!

tony - i don't know who this man is but that's not tony. i can't explain why without sounding insane but this man's voice is too round and sure of himself.

spencer - this spencer sounds too much like a normal respectable human being. i do not believe for a second that the man saying these lines would compare himself to the joker unironically as an intimidation tactic/to prove how cool he is.

I’ve listened to this series like 3 times at this point and ONLY JUST NOW did I get the ‘Jack off all night’ joke. 😭

god what a hilarious book series

There isn’t enough Jackerry in the world and it breaks my heart.

GOD I love jackerry. been in a car for 10 hours thinking about jackerry smut the whole time. I love them so much. 10/10 Mr Townsend great characters.

My Secret Santa gift for @saglaophonos! A comic for her post-s2 fic you do something to my patience