Cainswomn - †

i recorded this at my parents’ house a few months ago on their piano. it’s about a girl i knew as a kid who died when we were in highschool.

lyrics:

she was heavenly, my ethel

but she made a deal with the devil, my ethel

she held tight to her youth and beauty, my ethel

until he pried it from the cold dead hands of my ethel

i close my eyes and count to three, she’s no more

she’s bleeding out, cradled in the driver’s door

i asked for far too much, i’ll take no more

it’s not my place to question god what for 

she gets it

my cover of crush by ethel cain :)

@mothercain

quick sketch of hayden and dollie <33

@expiredidealist

thinking about…ethel’s future in her survival verse. i’ll likely write it out properly when i have the time but some of the major points are:

after her escape, she drags herself to the nearest police station where she reports the incident with isaiah.

she is taken to the hospital where her wounds are tended to and her mother is contacted back home in alabama.

ethel and mary-anne share a long, tearful phone call before mary-anne flies out to reunite with her daughter. ethel tells her mother everything, from her father’s abuse, to logan, to her journey with isaiah. she keeps her religious struggles to herself for the time being for fear of driving away the one person she has left in her life.

upon returning home to shady grove, ethel — the preacher missing no more — is welcomed back with open arms from her community. she suffers from immense ptsd, depression, and drug withdrawal, all while trying to fit herself back into life the way it was before she left. but she’s not that person anymore. she hasn’t been for a long time.

eventually she does step down from preaching with the help of therapy. her mother, while a little disappointed, is understanding and supportive of ethel’s decision.

she speaks out against sa and meets with other survivors, and years down the line writes and publishes a book/memoir.

age of delilah cover :)

october 2020

Ugh I want her so bad

i recreated this look from the god’s country mv :)