My Instagram Where I Go On Dates With Nobody

Results?!

Starting to see some changes in daily life once I decided to finally crack down and improve whatever feckless dance around life I was trying to do.

Finally getting a new bed for the first time in my life, I'm giddy with excitement since I no longer have to have a broken, splintering woodframe that catches on my hair and makes me want to cut it off. Big win!!

Time to happy clean I guess, today is good :)

<3 Caramel

Where did the time go? It seems just yesterday I was a happy little girl with all the ambition in the world.

I used to look up to the greats wanting to follow in their footsteps, but now, all I wish to be is myself again.

Sometimes, I tear up a little in public, but it's okay, I think.

[QUEST COMPLETE!]

Eat delicious food to ease the ache of life.

Was it worth it?

+ 0 EXP

+ 0.5 KG

- $17.99

Workload and toffee

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and not for any good reason, being entirely honest. Once summer school fizzled out of existence, the days have been blurring together; suddenly there’s only a week until real school starts up again.

I’ve been working a lot today, and, thanks to my unhealthy way of working for extended periods of time and not feeling any different than from lying in bed, am able to cram my entire online French summer course in the next five days. 

Although the work itself is mundane, taking a third-person view on the entire ordeal excites me. I’ve started to work like the kid I’ve always wanted to be: Hours at a desk, chewing gum or drinking genmatcha tea, sometimes picking up the phone and chatting while I work when one of my friends calls me. I’ve even found about 300 index cards to write down daily goals and to-do lists!

Feels weird to congratulate myself on this kind of work even though I don’t feel any different than when I’m not doing any work at all. It’s like this for pretty much all the work I do, which is confusing since it always takes me hours to start any tasks even though actually doing it is a walk in the park. I’ve heard that that’s a form of lingering depression, but being entirely honest, I don’t think I’m that depressed  anymore. And even if it is sticking around, I’ve already beaten it to the ground the first time. What’s another round than just adding to the pot?

I’ve really been feeling better as of today. Still not sure why. Maybe it’s because of the toffee I made for my sister and I yesterday? It’s so sweet and doesn’t go with my tea, but it’s just fine with my morning coffee. I guess I’ll get to the bottom of this soon. For now, it’s right around 03:00- so I probably have to sleep in order to continue grinding through my French course tomorrow.

Goodnight!!

<3 Caramel

" It's not dango, it's tongjyun!! 💢💢 "

My study snack today, I thought they would be cuter if I drew them faces ^^

Omg yes it was!! Thank you for the latte silly ♡♡ it was sweet, like you!! (⁠´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠)

Yeah, I've been pretty busy — have a chemistry exam in about ten hours tonight, so hoping for the best on that one ... But once I'm through with it, there's only one more exam to go!!!

I'm so proud of you Pico, sorry I haven't been online lately but I just checked your blog today and saw the effort you've been putting in!! You've got this ୧⁠(⁠＾⁠ ⁠〰⁠ ⁠＾⁠) I'm here trying to get myself together too!!

Caramel!!!!(๑ > ᴗ < ๑)°ᡣ𐭩 . ° . !! Hiii how are ur studies going?? Hopefully u aren't pushing urself too hard<3<3

Oh my goodness, thank you for checking up on me!! I really appreciate it (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠) ♡ Life has been crazy as of late, between school and family events and festivals... I'll post some photos of how things have been!

Thank you so much, by the way. I had no energy to post until I saw your message. I love you!!! How are you doing these days??

I miss the girl I used to be

Distraction from progress

I've been having some time off from my spring cleaning and "new life" due to some family issues. Sucks, since all I want to do is feel that fresh and giddy happiness I get when I realize I'm so close. I'm not going to talk about what has been happening specifically, but I do need to spend a lot of time with my family.

Will this be how all distractions feel in my new life? All dragging and somehow hopeless for me? Who knows- all I can do is hope that this doesn't last long. I've got plans with friends tomorrow and the day after, though- so I guess I'll need to fit more of my new life into that.

Just trying to feel better right now, not doing too well though :/

<3 Caramel

no

no I don’t think I deserve this. Doesn’t help me get out of my situation but I really don’t see why I deserved all this because I do try to be decent I really do try it’s just that misfortune gets me and now it’s got a grip on my motivation.

This time I really don’t think I brought this upon myself because at the start I didn’t do anything wrong, I wasn’t lazy or anything I just suffered the consequences of bad luck and since then it’s been a negative feedback loop

I wish God existed because then maybe things would’ve been alright and maybe people wouldn’t need to suffer needlessly and have their lives withheld from them

But still I’ve been praying a lot more recently

-Caramel

When I lose my extra weight and get a work habit and rearrange my room and get energy and work more it's over for everybody