Jason: Kid We Need You To-

I see 2 camps here in the Batman Fandom.

Team: Bruce can't cook

Team: Bruce can but still doesn't cook

I have an offer:

Bruce CAN cook and the food is....ok. But his methods are so bizarre that people take psychic damage watching it.

Sorta like: How the hell did you make risotto in a coffee pot with no rice

It's not really well known, but Carrie Kelley is canon in DC comics.

A few years back, she was the Robin that came after Dick, but it was soon retconned and she was erased from canon.

But in Batman and Robin (2011), she makes an appearance.

Carrie Kelley, in new canon, is a college student who gave Damian acting classes. Nobody knew that he was getting tutored by her, but it was revealed to Bruce in a 'not pleasent' way.

In her first few panels, we see her trying to contact Damian because he had stopped showing up to the lessons and stopped taking her calls. This had upset her, as he was naturally talented (according to her) in acting. She was also worried about him.

Carrie, then, shows up at the Wayne Manor looking for Damian. However, she does not get what she was looking for.

Bruce tells her that he had sent him abroad for education and Carrie is not happy with that. At that time, we can see that Carrie knows Damian well enough to know that he wouldn't be happy getting sent to another country. She also blames Bruce for losing a great acting partner.

After Bruce leaves, we see Alfred converse with Carrie and offer her a job of taking care of Titus. Carrie happily agrees to it.

A few days later, she comes back to the manor and Bruce is visibly uncomfortable. It's clear that he does not want her here. Bruce asks her what she is doing in his house, and Alfred explains the situation.

Bruce and Carrie start talking a little as Bruce is curious about Damian's new friend. Carrie mentions a movie she made of Titus and also about an interview she had with Damian before he had started taking acting lessons. She also mentions that Damian was like a little brother to her and with him being blunt and true, it was easy to befriend him.

Bruce asks her for the the interview footage and Carrie makes a deal with him instead. She'd give him the interview footage if Bruce gives the movie she made about Titus to Damian. She also asks Bruce to tell Damian to give her a call. Bruce agrees to the deal.

Later on, when she leaves, Bruce keeps his promise and takes Titus' movie to Damian and places it onto his grave...

I’m also anti-pit madness! What’s your reason? I’m not a fan of it because it isn’t canon and I find it triggering because it’s often used as an excuse for characters *cough cough* Jason *cough cough* to behave abusively without any repercussions.

for the me it's mainly because it takes away the character's agency and accountability.

all the bad things they did, the change/development of their character - whoosh! explained away by "oh they were being strongly influenced / they were temporarily insane & out of control it wasn't their fault <3". it reduces the situation/events/character to a mindset where it simply couldn't be helped.

like no!!! they were in control!!! they made those decisions!!! they're the way they are now not because of the pit, but because they've gone through life events and come out changed!!!

to get specific with Jason (bc we all know that's who this is about):

Jason becoming a crimelord, killing lots of people, and nearly killing his family was FULLY premeditated. Jason is wicked smart. you better believe he thought that shit out down to the letter before acting.

was he incredibly angry? yeah. was his character suddenly drastically different than who he was when he died? yeah. BECAUSE HE DIED AND CAME BACK, THEN LIVED FIVE WHOLE YEARS AWAY FROM GOTHAM. OF COURSE HE'S FUCKED UP. HE'S NEVER GONNA BE THE SAME AGAIN AND THAT'S THE POINT.

'pit madness' completely takes away the impact of that. and even if pit madness was canon, you're telling me that in those five years of training and travel etc he STILL had zero control over it? c'mon.

i'm just... i hate it when fucked up events and actions are "fixed" by a borderline deus ex machina like pit madness. not only does it put everyone else in a bad position and often forces them into a corner of guilt "we should have known, i'm sorry we didn't see it, we still love you, no no you don't need to apologize we get it" - it takes the pit-dipped character and makes them kinda pathetic, honestly.

suddenly, despite their development (please note that development does Not equal positive growth), they're backtracking right to where they started. they have to grovel for forgiveness. they've got that "ough im unforgivable, im out of control, it would be better if i stayed away even though i wish i could go home" self pity

and again talking about jason specifically: whenever i read a fic where all he wants is to go home but thinks he can't, i roll my eyes. if he wanted to 'go home', he'd be having tea with Alfred every sunday. Bruce and the others would not be able to stop him. he would not give up his guns for fuckin ANYONE, and especially not Bruce.

and would you look at that - most fics i read where he's given up his guns also has pit madness. and guess what - in those, he gives up his guns because of the pit madness, because it, say it with me, ~made him kill people~.

actions have consequences. people change, often in an unpleasant direction. pit madness spits in the face of that and i hate it.

damian : [creeping behind jason to stab him]

jason, loudly : I hope no one is about to attack me from behind because I'm thinking about making cookies later.

damian pausing :

damian : ...what kind?

Robin!Jason: Okay, let's go put a bullet in Joker's head.

Batman: No, if we kill him we're no better than he is. If we kill him, he wins.

Robin! Jason: Yeah. Except we are better than he is, and he doesn't win. He doesn't anything. He's dead. That's the point.

Hey Google what the fuck was that

Ra's Al Ghul: Talia. Why is your charity case running around stabbing people and causing me a migraine?

Talia: I may have told him that coming out of the Lazarus Pit can induce a rage fever.

Ra's: That wears off after four hours. It's been three months since you dunked him.

Talia: It's therapeutic, father. He's able to express his rage without feeling guilt over it. Let him have this.

Ra's: He ruined my favorite garden!

Talia: For as much as I put into keeping this League running, he gets to ruin as much as he wants.

Okay that would be hilarious.

Jason: *goes absolutely feral*

Talia, sipping tea: You’re doing great, sweetie.

Ra’s: It’s been six months. He’s taken down nine drug rings and three corrupt governments. Will you please tell him now.

Talia: Just let him have this.

Our Saviour Red Hood, Patron Saint of the Poor and Downtrodden, Protector of Gotham

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe now.”

(art by the wonderful @gotham-gargoyle​ )

Some ranting, theory-crafting and inspiration behind this commission under the cut :)

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I used to be torn between Damian being like 5’4 forever or becoming tall like his mom and dad, but now I’m obsessed with the idea of him just suddenly sprouting to 6’5 (195) at the age of 16, surpassing his entire family by miles, but all of his friends are somehow even taller than him. Jon is 6’7, Colin is 6’6, Billy is 7’ (213) when he’s Captain Marvel. They still call him short at every opportunity, and it pisses him off almost as much as the realization that he’s also tall enough for most of daily life to now be a general nuisance.

He has to crouch to fit under shower-heads. Most door frames are a walking hazard. He gets smacked in the face with tree branches. His clothes never fit right. He has to contort himself every time Tim drives the Batmobile before him and forgets to adjust the seat back. He needs to eat SO MUCH all the the time. His feet stick off the bed. His knees don’t fit under tables. He’s still a master of stealth, but now he can’t fit through vents, and it is so fucking annoying that he regrets ever wanting to be tall and wishes he was 4’11 again.