Imagine If The Oceans Were Replaced By Forests And If You Went Into The Forest The Trees Would Get Taller

This becomes even more ridiculous if you want to ship Dan with Dick

DP x DC Soulmate au: “Cupid marks” are on people who lack their own soulmate mark, but this allows them to see the marks of others (even if hidden) and unite the unknowing pair.

Danny had a Cupid mark, it came about when everyone normally received their very own soulmate mark or for even more folks, got “nothing” aka invisible marks. Jazz was under the impression that she lacked a soulmate mark… Danny could tell that wasn’t the case but his science minded sister preferred it this way. And because Jazz deemed soulmate marks baseless fantasy, she never really tried to get Danny to reveal his own. She figured if he wanted to share it, he would’ve.

Danny isn’t a natural match maker per se, but that’s because he prefers the platonic route. The long con. Get em together, make em friendly and then only when sparks begin to fly tell them the truth. Hes still waiting for Sam and Tucker to realize and hit stage three. Hes pretty sure thats what makes them the best couple (and also his best friends).

But Danny moves off for college and suddenly it’s a big talk of every party he goes to that he’s a Cupid. He’d been trying to not get discovered for being a half a but honestly… maybe that would have been preferred. Now he can’t show up on campus with out couples showing up and demanding he tell them if they’re actually soulmates.

Getting a job and getting out of town helped but Danny’s a friendly enough guy, and his smarts get him pretty far in the industry alone… he never really loses his reputation as a Cupid but as he gets older a lot of people stop asking. (They’re afraid to be wrong, They stopped believing, etc…) Next thing he knows, he’s at a corporate event trying to get a free cocktail with his little mini rich person snacks (sam taught him enough French to pronounce them correctly at these things but he’ll if he’s gunna)- and his boss’s boss’s boss’s boss’s bodyguard comes flying through the window stopping a plot to assassinate his bos- CEO. The guy is huge and glass goes flying everywhere but Danny can’t help but notice a familiar shape on him. One Danny saw pretty much daily until he was 16 and his sister moved away for college.

Danny eventually gets his drink order called out but the CEO walks right over and takes it. He takes a big gulp and Danny thinks it’s like the guy is pretending to act scared- but Danny tries to put the weird acting choices out of his mind.

The CEO is the same age as him, Danny thinks, and next thing Tim Drake says is “sorry, I guess I owe you a drink.”

“Any chance your body guard wants to be the one to deliver it?” Danny doesn’t care about the implications but then the bodyguard is letting out a groan as the CEO snickers.

“I told you that the fit was Bi-conic Jayce”

“Oh wait, sorry, I just wanted to say that your soulmate mark-“ Danny starts and the two suddenly look at him with all mirth drained away from their very hawk like eyes.

“I don’t have one.”

“Uh here’s the thing, you do. And uh I know who it matches.” Danny throws it back in his face with an eye roll, why did his brother in law have to be an asshole?

“What does it look like?” The CEO asks, more curious now than alarmed. Something in his tired eyes still looks a little unhinged though.

“Like the front cover for a Vintage Frankenstein novel, his other half is a scientist and what- have you like died or something or is that just your sense of humor?” Danny tries to make light of it, but it really is a very bleak soulmate mark.

“Fuck you.” Is all the big guy says before walking away.

“Look why don’t we exchange information and try this again after-“ Tim tries to amend.

“Nope. No dice. He can fuck right off and never meet her, he’s totally not worthy.”

“Dude. Just tell me, I can find her and see the mark myself and then maybe-“

“Dude, No. not happening.”

And then, Danny leaves the party. He can tell he’s being trailed but… a little invisibility helps that.

Eventually he can’t go anywhere without hiding or using his powers but honestly, fuck those rich assholes. He can tell that they’ve caught on to him having powers because they’re getting better and better at trailing him. Tim Drake keeps sending fruit baskets and other novelties to his house to try and win him over (and honestly the well thought out notes are cute even if they’re for the wrong cause), but the problem starts once Jazz comes into town for a visit.

See, Tim Drake is also a Cupid, and the second he sees her leaving Danny’s apartment, a new game is on because of course he’s going to recognize it. And Danny might suspect this about Tim but right now he’s on damage control as basically a family with unlimited wealth has realized who Jazz is to this guy.

Here’s the thing- Jazz is in town to hang with Danny and, er, well, maybe make a deal with the Red Hood. She has good intentions for research but then suddenly they hit it off and…

Danny is trying to keep his identity as Phantom secret (and failing), trying to keep his sister from working with a criminal with “fascinating research data to contribute” or meet her supposed “soulmate” (if the universe could be trusted), trying not to uncover the Bats identities (they keep showing up dammit), and trying not to fall in love with Tim Drake.

It’s enough slices.

This is the sound of spooky season

To celebrate the first of Halloween, I have to share with you my recent discovery: The Living Tombstone’s remix of Spooky Scary Skeletons and Freaks by Timmy Trumpet & Savage have the same BPM.

I LOVE MY FROGGO

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*Feral Hissing*

Are leaf water and bean water options?

(tea, coffee, hot chocolate)

hey dingus! drink some water! are you feeling sad? that's no good! drink some water! will it help? maybe! who knows! drinking water is a good idea regardless! so why not have a nice refreshing sip? sounds like a plan to me! go on, go get a glass of the good stuff! I'll be here when you get back!