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Latest Posts by coulduseprozac - Page 8
Grammy Awards are approaching fast, so here's a kind reminder that metal & rock awards will be, as usual, handed out during the Premiere Ceremony, not the main event. You can watch it on YouTube linked above or live.grammy.com. YouTube should show you the starting time based on your timezone, if you open the vid in the app.
Before the show, the Grammy's website will also have a multicam stream of the red carpet arrivals, so you can keep an eye out on our favourite Swede, in case he attends.
So probably not a loved idea, but I kinda want fanfics of The Manager ☝️ just cos I think it'd be funny and am curious as to how people would write him...
Like, he is his own character and just manages the band but with seestor's input.
Not me pulling up in your driveway like I live there, listening to my favorite Swedish satanic band, bringing you your Doordash order.
Copia military jacket, that's it that's the post
Two Benadryl, two melatonin and a half a bottle of wine will also do the trick Dewrop.
Dew, brewing a pot of sleepytime tea: "Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble... With this magic potion-" -popping open a bottle of benadryl and taking two out- "-and these magic beans, this bitch is gonna sleep tonight or I'm personally gonna strangle the sandman."
And having to go to work
The dumbest idea ever invented was getting out of bed on a cold day
Sometimes I feel that someone should do a welfare check on that guitar
it’s not even 8am why must you do this
I need to read this!
Dew getting pregnant (completely by accident) and the kit is absolutely tiny. Nobody knows who the other parent is.
Ghouls normally have litters, a minimum of three, a maximum of around ten. Dew has one singular kit. A runt in a litter of one.
They're so tiny that they were nearly missed. Dew never had a bump (he just looked like he'd had a big meal once further along), and the scan didn't pick the kit up the first time.
It was the pack's insistent noses, able to pick up the scent of a kit on Dew, that really told them that Dew was expecting.
They're not a very healthy kit, and Dew ends up delivering early.
It's the tiniest kit Aether's ever seen. He's the one who delivers them, on the bathroom floor in Dew's en suite.
The ghouls all crowd around the bathroom door, and they all agree in that moment to protect that tiny kit with their lives.
Thanks for the reminder
a companion piece to ibuprofen secondo
Cold Me was in charge of wardrobe decisions this morning. I'm hot and Cold Me may be no longer in charge after today.
The Ghildo is trending on X. Why do I find this so funny?
New hc just dropped: Kevin summons all the ghouls
their combined powers were too great. he never stood a chance. rip king.
Zoo.
Phantom: What are they in for?
Rain: What? No, this isn’t a prison Phan.
Phantom: So they can leave?
Rain: Well, no-…
Phantom: *points to a penguin* I bet that would one killed someone.
The most powerful ghoul!! ;3
Dude, I still sleep on, not in, a waterbed.
I just had this thought about Swiss buying Rain a water bed, full excitement he wants this surprise to be GREAT.
And he sets it up and Rain is like “But how do I get IN the water?”
Swiss is stumped. He didn’t think that far. How DO you get into the water?!
Aether is looking on astounded by the failure of their shared brain cell.
Two weeks later Dew comes home with a family sized blow up swimming pool for Rains room and saves the day. (He decided not to mention he made the exact same mistake when he was newly summoned)
Oh my fucking GOD. I'm dying. Poor Rain, so appreciative but just standing there poking at the bed like "cool, how do I get in?" And poor Swiss just so confused. Searching for some kind of hole Rain can fit through to get in. Because he didn't think this through AT ALL and doesn't want to admit it. And Aether like..."you lay on it not in it" Cut to Rain going: "well that's stupid, why would you call it a water bed if you can't be in the water?" Thank satan for Dew (and his past mistakes).
Why be such a tease?
Papa Emeritus IV finally takes a Prime Mover.
As with all Prime Movers, they are to dress in a black habit, a wimple with two points to represent the devil's horns, and a black opaque veil.
His Prime Mover is seen everywhere with him, though by tradition, he is only affectionate with them in private. The most he does is hold their hand in public, or rest his hand on their back.
Little does the Clergy know that Copia's Prime Mover is actually a ghoul.
Definitely need more Cowbell
little bit of AlphaBell~
The band Ghost is so fucking funny to me. Their frontman currently looks like this:
Or some version of a horny goth clown, but the guy underneath it has got the wettest saddest eyes I've ever seen. Just look at him:
This man admits to being very sensitive and cries at the drop of a hat.
He has a wife and kids.
He wears the costume because he doesn't like the way he looks on stage as a rockstar.
He treats the audience like his children. They're officially called the children of Ghost for that and also because of the play on "children of god."
The band literally fucks around on stage while riffing this badass music. They go through physical comedy skits every concert like the three stooges. For example:
Two demons throw guitar picks at each other when they get angy.
One guy grinds and licks the stage like a cat in heat.
One of them shakes their tits at goth clown man and scares him shitless.
One of them twirls goth clown man like a ballerina as he dances by them.
Several of them slap goth clown's ass when he waddles by.
He created the band to make people happy, to celebrate being a fucking weirdo because he always felt left out, and to make fun of Christianity because it makes people feel bad. He lost his older brother, and it tore him up so bad that the music he made as a result launched him into a worldwide music career.
This man ends every concert "ritual" with three things:
1. Be nice to each other
2. Help each other
3. Go fuck yourself
(Literally and figuratively)
Their music is 70% "fuck me I'm so horny", 10% "I love you so much" and 20% "ethereal badass metal".
Look at how much fun he's having, dude.
It's literally just a rock band filled with the nicest people on earth wearing costumes like a Shakespearean play. And all they do is make up funny little lore stories and serve cunt.
When you have to give out your password to Vudu so an almost 4 year old can watch Sharknado.
This has quickly became a favorite
Everything Goes On Pt. 8
[Who were you before him? Time skip again. Not suitable for younger audiences. Previous Part here.] Below the cut.
"This is Brisket." Dew says, holding up quite possibly the least intimidating dog to grace the face of the Earth, "He's a Chiweenie."
"A... A Chiweenie?" Mountain stares at the little creature, currently giving him the most wet eyed look in return, "This is your new Hellhound?"
"Hey, he may not look like much, but he's fierce!"
Brisket yawns and gets his tongue stuck outside of his mouth.
"I took you for more of a big breed dog kind of guy." Mountain says, watching the puppy drop his head into the palm of Dew's hand.
"Nah, I mean, I love all kinds of dogs, but living in a dorm with a St. Bernard sounds like a nightmare. It's also easier to travel."
"Is Brisket going on the road with us for tour then?" Mountain asks, "He could probably fit in your carry on..."
"Maybe next tour, for now, I mean, look at this guy." He rocks his arm slightly and the puppy's ears flop side to side, "He wouldn't make it through the opening act."
Mountain laughs, "So, what prompted this?"
He gestures at Brisket, and then at Dew's new, shorter haircut.
"Companionship." Dew says, holding up Brisket, "And not having anyone around to stop me."
"Hm, well, it suits you." Mountain says, picking up Brisket's head in his hands to squish his tiny face around a little.
"The puppy or the hair?"
"I mean, Brisket... I can't believe you named him that... is quite handsome in his own right, but I meant your hair." Mountain clarifies, "Not that your old style didn't, too, this one's just, I dunno, refreshing? Is that a word people use to describe hair?"
Dew snorts.
"Why Brisket though?"
"He smells like beef." the ghoul motions for Mountain to sniff the dog.
"Like in a good way or a bad-" Mountain sniffs Brisket again, "-Why does he smell like he rolled around in a barbecue??"
"Legend has it he was born in the behind some kind of bar and grille that served some pretty good steak..."
It has been three months since Aether left.
Three.
A whole quarter of a year, and Dew's starting to feel a little more grounded.
It helps when he has two new ghouls to coach through the motions of being "human" -Actually, Brisket was his own sort of reward to himself for not completely messing that up.- between teaching Aeon how to use a fork and getting Aurora to wear underwear, Dew hasn't had time to think of much else.
He still has his moments where he wakes up in his new room and gets confused, where he reaches over to the right side of the bed only to be met with the cold bedspread, but once he discovered he could spread out across the mattress unimpeded by another body, he'd more or less stopped.
It's the little things, he supposes, taking solace in the creature comforts he had forgotten after having to share his space and find compromises to make his other half happy...
Sure, it sucks not being able to roll over in the morning and get sleepy cuddles, but now he can fit a little bed on the other half for Brisket to sleep in, and that more than makes up for that.
Aether liked dogs, too, but he'd never let one sleep in their bed, claiming it would "spoil" them.
Well, too bad, Aether, Brisket is going to be as spoiled as a prince of Hell.
That being said, though, Dew does miss having another ghoul in his bed, and while there had been offers...
"It just doesn't feel right." he tells Cumulus one afternoon, "Feels like I'm cheating even though... ya know."
"You and Aether were together for four years," she says, "it's okay to need time."
"I know, but I'm not... I'm not sure when it's okay to... start all of that again."
"Having sex?"
"Kind of, but, I mean more like..." he lowers his voice, "...dating."
"Ohhh..." Cumulus pats his arm, "I'd say don't rush into all of that. You know what they say about rebound relationships..."
"Actually I... I don't." Dew whispers, "Aether was the only person I've ever dated."
"How'd you two wind up together anyway?" Cumulus asks, "Not to be rude, I mean, you two are, like, polar opposites."
"Not completely." Dew starts counting on his fingers, "We had a couple key things in common; We liked dogs, beer, music, obviously, and..."
The tips of Dew's ears go red.
"And?"
"There's this thing he could do with his tongue that he taught me how to do-"
.
.
.
Cirrus is... frustrated.
Cumulus has been avoiding her.
Not really, it's just...
"Cir, I love you, but you're being a little... suffocating lately." the smaller ghoulette had confessed, "I won't go anywhere just because we're not cuddling every second of the day, you know?"
Cirrus presses her face into her pillow and screams.
She can't help it.
Lately, it feels like if she isn't physically connected to Cumulus, it feels like they're drifting apart.
It's Dew's fault honestly.
Ever since Aether left him, he's been leaning on Cumulus for emotional support, even though he's not the only person hurt by...
By...
Cirrus rolls over in her bed, squeezing her pillow to her chest.
The night before Aether broke up with Dew...
"...Fuck, Cir..."
"Mn... Aeth... You feel so good..."
They aren't exclusive.
None of them are exclusive.
But something about it had felt...
Forbidden.
Good.
And now that she has time to reflect on it, it felt a lot like a goodbye, too.
"Does Dew know you're here?"
"He does, he doesn't care."
"Typical Dew."
"Yeah."
Dew knew, so there was... there was no guilt there.
Cumulus had known, too, but...
"Why are you apologizing? We all mess around."
...Why had she wanted her to be angry?
"...What's wrong with me?"
.
.
.
Swiss will admit, sometimes he makes poor decisions in the heat of the moment that result in... unfortunate circumstances...
"Your dick looks like a fucking glowstick." Dew gapes, beside him, Rain is positively shaking trying to contain his laughter, "Jack it off too hard and accidentally crack it or something?"
"You know the guard you set me up with a while back?" Swiss asks, tucking himself back into his pants, "Yeah, uh, turns out no matter where you stick it, this happens."
"I-It's like you dunked your junk in a vat of highlighter ink..." Rain cackles, "Does it come off?"
"Takes, like, two to three days for the... the glow to fade."
"So if you decided to jack off with the lights off, would your cum also glow? Like is it soaked in that far? Or is it like a weird sunburn?" Dew asks.
"..."
"Swiss?"
"...I need to go test something."
And, honest to Satan's balls, that was what Swiss was intent on doing when in his haste to get back to his dorm, he bumped into a sibling of sin walking through the corridors with-
"Aether?"
This is some funny shit. Like, did you just randomly decide to go a Ghost concert not knowing who they were?
Tale from the Green Room
Ever wonder what Copia has to say during the pre-Ritual Ghoul meeting? Yeah? Me too!
I feel it goes a little something like this…
The Green Room was noisy and smoky as Papa walked through the door. The Ghouls stopped their conversations as the leader of the Satanic Church cleared his throat to gain their attention.
“All right, my children, we will go on stage soon and here is what I want for tonight. Rain and Dew, I need you two to choke each other at some point. I don’t care when or who goes first, I just want to see hands around your throats at some point.”
“Sure thing, boss!”, both Ghouls answered.
“Phantom, sweet Phantom. I’m going to need you on your best cat-like behavior. Seems the fangirls go crazy for cats. Oh, and do the bendy thing with Rain.”
Phantom raised his fingers in a mock salute as he continued his preparations for the upcoming Ritual.
“Cumulus, Cirrus, and Princess Aurora, my lovelies. Please just be your awesome self. You ladies know what you need to do.”
The Ghoulettes did not bother to answer as they knew they were awesome.
“Mountain, you are perfect in every way. I just need you to be ready to lead us into the night with your rhythms.”
The gentle giant flushed at his Papa’s praise and continued to fidget with the drumsticks in his hands.
“And last but not least, Swiss, my multi-Ghoul, during Watcher in the Sky, I need you to…”
Ok but what if ghouls didn't just automatically know English when they are first summoned and then usually their summoner and fellow ghouls teach them language.
Now imagine that because Phantom was summoned at such a complicated time for the pack (with Aether and Sunshine's eminent departure looming over them) that he never really gets taught how to speak.
Aurora pretty quickly bonds with the ghoulettes but because the ghouls (either accidentally or purposely) outcast Phantom he just only learns little bits that he catches in passing during band practice.
And they only notice when tour time comes around and they realise they've completely neglected this new ghoul and he can't understand a single thing anyone says to him.
I’m totally not projecting onto dew rn but what if he got just a little too overwhelmed in a busy room? All the sights and sounds and smells and textures.
What happens when he breaks?
I too project onto Dew, friend! I'm always around if you need to talk, please remember that 🖤🖤🖤
I hope you enjoy!
He doesn't want to be here.
Every voice crashes on his ears in a crescendo, the bodies start getting too close like the walls are closing in. The scents, fear and want and the bitter spice of jealousy...
It's like a vicious attack on all of his senses and he feels like he's going to explode.
The candles in the room flare, his barely contained magic starting to slip from his shaky grasp on it.
He hates the way the eyes follow him, the important people from the other Abbey's watching him with a gaze that says "we know what you used to be, now look at you..."
They judge a rage they don't even know, judge him for the nervous shift in his eyes and the way his skin buzzes as he skirts around and tries not to touch.
Their greedy lungs pull in all the air in the room until there isn't enough left to trickle down to the little ghoul and he feels snuffed out, left gasping and dwindling second by agonizing second.
He feels alone despite the crowd, feels like at any second they are going to turn on him and rip him apart and there won't be a thing he can do. It's one against an army and he won't stand a chance.
He chokes down a growl and his eyes burn and he can vaguely smell the flames in the room get just a little hotter.
Someone bumps into him and it's like a kick against his spine.
He isn't going to make it.
"And this is Dewdrop, our fire ghoul." Sisters voice is steady, bored as she and the heads of the other clergies make their rounds.
He can smell the judgement, he can see the way they observe him like a bug under a magnifying glass, like he's just some kind of specimen for them to dissect and study .
His heart is in his throat and he can't breathe around it.
"Ah, my ghoul, I've been looking for you!" Papa slides up behind him, gloved hand hovering just over Dew's shoulder. "Excuse us a moment."
"Papa-"
"We will be brief, Sister." He waves her off and extends his arm, gesturing for Dewdrop to walk ahead.
He hangs his head like he's being led to his execution. The only reason papa would pull him off would be to reprimand him, to scold him for not holding himself with dignity before their company.
He wonders if this will be the straw that breaks the camels back, if finally they've had enough of all the tumultuous emotions of an unhinged fire ghoul.
Papa slides in front of him and leads him down a winding hall, their steps and Dew's heavy, uneven breathing the only sounds around them.
He almost misses all the voices...the silence around them seems more oppressive than the over crowded room had.
Papa shoves open a door and leads the shaking ghoul behind him out onto one of the more hidden terraces.
Goosebumps rise on his arms when the cool air wraps around his overheated body and he can't make himself meet Copia's eyes.
"Dew-"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I couldn't....I tried i-"
Copia holds his hands up to silence him, to dam off the river of words spilling out of his mouth. Dew snaps his jaws shut and casts his eyes to his boots, chest heaving and head spinning.
He flinches when Copia steps into his space and unbuttons the top few buttons on his shirt, pulling it away from Dew's throat.
"Breathe for me, stellina." He rests his hands on his shoulders. "You're safe out here with me. Just breathe."
He manages a few deep breaths. "I'm sorry papa, I just...I couldn't do it anymore."
"That's ok. I was hiding in the back myself. I never did like these things."
"Just feel-"
"Judged? Trapped? Small?" Copia tilts his head with a sad little twist of his lips. "I understand, Piccolino."
It hits him in the chest, the realization that Copia had been struggling too. He presses close and scents his neck, eyes closing when his heart slows.
"Fuck those people."
Copias laugh stomps out the last of his anxiety and his shoulders release their tension when he wraps his arms around Dews slim waist.
He kisses Dews temple and squeezes him tighter, letting the little ghoul rest and breathe against him.
minding my own business…
*opening a word doc*