Y/N: Honestly, Natasha Romanoff Can Suffocate Me With Her Thighs And My Ghost Would Say Thank You.

sighhhhh

Ain't nothin worse than being a hopeless romantic AND a lesbian

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To this day, I refuse to believe that natasha and tony are dead.

Id sleep a LOT better if they gave my girl tasha a fucking funeral like they did for tony

"x black reader"

oh to be loved like a hozier song

The Emotion Thesaurus: Adoration

Hello, everyone! I will be starting a new series that will help you the writers describe emotions.

This guide will be a writer’s tool to characters expression.

This section comes from The Emotional Thesaurus by Ackerman and Puglisi.

Adoration

Definition: the act of worship; to view as divine.

Note: the subject of adoration can be a person or thing

Physical Signs:

Lips parting

A slack or soft expression

Waking quickly to erase distance

Mimicking body language

Touching one’s mouth or face

Reaching out to brush, touch or grasp

Steady eye contact, large pupils

Leaning forward

Stroking one’s own neck or arm as a surrogate

Pointing one’s torsos and feet towards the subject

A flushed appearance

Nodding while the subject speaks

Smiling

Open body posture

Releasing an appreciative sigh

Laying hand over the heart

Frequently moistening lips

Pressing palms lightly against the cheeks

Skimming fingertips along the jaw lines

Eyes that are bright

Agreement

Speaking praise and compliments

Keeping trinkets, pictures of the subject

Constantly talking about the subject to others

Rapt attention, still posture

Becoming unaware of one’s environment

A radiant glow

Visible shakiness

Reduced blinking

Closing eyes to savor moment

Speak with a soft voice

A voice that cracks with emotion

Internal Sensations

Quickening heartbeat

Breathlessness

Feeling one’s pulse in throat

Mouth dry

Throat growing thick

Rising body temperature

Tingling nerve endings

Mental Responses

A desire to move closer or watch

Fixating one’s thoughts on the subject

Acute listening and observation

Ignoring distractions

An inability to see the subjects flaws or faults

Cues of Acute or Long-Term Adoration

Obsession

Fantasizing

Believing that the feelings are mutual

A sense of destiny

Stalking

Writing and sending letter, emails, and gifts

Taking risks or breaking laws to be near or with subject

Weight loss

Poor sleep patterns

Jealousy towards those interacting with the subject

Taking on traits or mannerisms of the subject

Carrying something that represents the subject

Possessiveness

May Escalate To:

Love

Desire

Frustration

Hurt

Cues of Suppressed Adoration:

Clenching or hiding one’s hands to hide sweating or shaking

Avoiding conversations about the subject

Watching or observing from afar

Staying out of subjects proximity

Blushing

Sneaking looks at subject

Creating chance run ins

Writing secret letters, keeping diary

Lying about one’s feelings regarding the subject

Writer’s Tip:

Body cues should create a strong mental picture. If the movement is too drawn out or complicated, the emotional meaning behind the gesture may be lost.

Please like, follow and reblog if you find this helpful!

chile im like 98% sure i got ghosted LMAO 💀💀💀 imma be over her in a couple months and ik it aint my fault so oh well 🤷🏾‍♀️ ts is funny asf to me tho

do i love the slow burn trope? of course i do! but do i like experiencing it for myself? absolutely fucking not!

Drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo is a motherfucking masterpiece

i never knew i needed witch!nat til now & i love it!

Hey! For the request thing, Nat x Reader if you’re able to of course. But also you should focus on your school work lol

“Flowers have become so rare that they are the most sought after items in the world, enough so that people have gone crazy trying to duplicate them. Reader just stumbled across a natural rose and possibly the love of their life.”

All The Choices

pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem reader

word count: 6.4k

warnings: none, lmk if i need to add any!

A/N: ngl this was really fun to write and i'm actually kinda proud of it! but i have a feeling it might not have been exactly what anon had in mind but i hope you enjoy anyway! :D

"Please, at least consider it," you begged the man.

"If you think that's gonna make money, you're out of your mind," he replied, shoving past you.

You grabbed his wrist, pulling back to force him to look at you.

"You can't know that for sure,"

"To take that risk, I'd have to stop selling items I know do well. Sorry, Y/N, but it's not worth it. You're not worth it,"

"Please," you begged again. "I can barely make ends meet as it is, I'll lose everything,"

He turned away, refusing to look at you.

"I'm sorry, but my answer stands."

Before you could say anything else, he left the room.

You could feel tears bubbling up in your eyes, but you couldn't cry here, you wouldn't.

You grabbed your bag, then ran out the back door. You kept running out of the marketplace, away from all the surrounding noise.

You weren't even sure where you were going, all you knew was that you wanted to get away.

So you kept going. You went past the familiar river that flowed near the town, you went past the rock field you had gone to so many times, you even went beyond the trees everyone was warned not to go past.

By now, your cheeks were completely wet from how much you had cried. You wiped your eyes, clearing your vision as you finally allowed yourself to take a deep breath in.

You reached in your bag, pulling out the very same thing that got you yelled at earlier today.

Flowers have become so rare that they are the most sought after items in the world, enough so that people have gone crazy trying to duplicate them.

So, you decided to decorate rocks to look like flowers. You had spent hours breaking some, moving the crystals inside to another, making them look like flower decorations.

Because of how rare flowers were, many people were fine settling for fake flower decorations. So when you had discovered the rock field, you thought it would be a perfect idea to use them for flower decorations.

But now, that proved to be a terrible idea. Not only had you wasted your time and energy but now you had lost your chance and getting any money this month.

So you grabbed one of the rocks, feeling your breathing become heavy. A few more tears formed in your eyes as the reality of the situation hit you.

Without thinking clearly, you threw the rock as hard as you could in front of you. You let out a loud scream, falling to your knees as you buried your face in your hands.

Immediately, you regretted it. So you stood up, running in the direction you threw it. Your eyes scanned the ground around you, but you couldn't find anything.

"Oh come on," you squeaked out, feeling your breath catch in your throat as you tried to hold back more tears.

You kept walking forward, clutching your bag as you looked for the rock. You sniffled, trying to get rid of the tears so you could see properly.

As soon as you opened your eyes again, you noticed a flash of red in the corner of your eye.

You tried to take a step closer, but ended up slipping as soon as you did.

The ground was uneven, so you ended up rolling down a dirt hill. As soon as you hit the bottom, you let out a sigh of relief.

You saw the red again.

It was a rose.

You had just stumbled upon a natural, real, rose bush.

You got to your knees, leaning forward to take a closer look. Just as you were about to touch one, your soul nearly left your body at the new noise behind you.

"I had a feeling someone would fall victim to that hill one day,"

You stood up, turning around to face the new voice.

Standing there was probably the most beautiful woman you had ever seen. Her red hair fell perfectly down her shoulders, and her green eyes looked as if they were sparkling in the light.

Your mouth was open, but nothing came out. She chuckled, walking over to you.

"Oh, you poor thing, you're hurt,"

Still, you couldn't say anything to this woman.

She hummed, reaching behind you towards the rose bush. You gasped again as she pulled one of the roses from the plant, holding it by the stem.

"Come along, I'll get you all fixed up,"

You didn't know what to say, but you followed her nonetheless. She continued humming as she walked forward. She played with the rose in her hands, still humming to herself.

After a few more minutes of walking, she waved her hands in the air as she muttered something under her breath.

Just then, as if it was materializing, a cottage appeared in front of her.

Once again, your jaw dropped as you stared in shock.

The witch turned back to look at you, chuckling at your shocked expression.

"Come on, we need to go inside and then I'll heal you,"

Once again, you weren't sure what to say but followed her anyway.

She waved her hand, causing the front door to open for both of you. As soon as you were both inside, she flicked her hand the opposite direction to close it.

She waved her hand again, muttering quietly as the candles lit up so you were no longer in the dark.

The redheaded witch motioned for you to sit down at the kitchen table while she stood by the stove, getting the cauldron ready.

After a few moments of silence, she looked you in the eye.

"So, you wanna tell me what happened?"

You brought your hands to your lap, fiddling with your fingers as you finally managed to speak to her.

"I made these flower decorations out of rocks, and I asked if they could be sold at the marketplace. But I was told they wouldn't make any money, so I ran out. And then I just kept going, and ended up here,"

She nodded, pouring something into the cauldron.

"How come it's so important to sell the flower decorations?" She asked.

You scoffed, feeling your cheeks heat up.

"Well not everyone lives in a cottage they can make appear with the flick of their wrist. Some of us are struggling to get by, you know" you told her, louder than intended. "Some of us can't just magic everything better!"

She raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as you continued on.

"SOMETIMES THERE'S UNIMAGINABLE EFFORT JUST TO LIVE!"

You really didn't want to cry in front of the witch, but here you were anyway.

"I'm sorry..." you mumbled, crossing your arms as if to hug yourself.

Her gaze softened, but she stayed where she was. She took the rose, and snapped the stem off of it. She dropped the stem into the cauldron, putting the flower part on the counter.

She then mixed everything together, almost ignoring your presence for a few moments.

Once it had bubbled just once, she turned the stove off and poured it into a glass. She then walked over to you, carrying both the glass and the rose. After setting them both in front of you, she sat across from you at the table.

"What is it?" You asked, tilting your head to the side.

"Healing potion," she replied, pushing it closer to you. "Drink it, it'll help,"

You hesitated for a moment, then you looked into her bright green eyes. You saw the way she was staring at you, so you eventually gave in and drank it.

"Not every day I accept a drink from a witch," you mumbled, prompting her to smirk. "Especially a witch who I don't even know her name,"

"Natasha," she replied. "And it's not every day I offer my potions to someone who fell down the dirt hill. Especially when I don't know her name either,"

You chuckled at her mockery,

"Y/N,"

She nodded before folding her hands together and placing them on the table.

"So, Natasha," you began. "How long is this healing potion supposed to take?"

She rolled her eyes at your impatience,

"It shouldn't be longer than 15 minutes, then you can get back to whatever it is you were doing with your flower decorations,"

It was then that you remembered how you fell down the hill in the first place. You were still carrying your bag, but as you looked in it, they were all gone; they must have fallen out when you fell.

Tears bubbled in your eyes once again as the fact that you now had nothing fell upon you.

"What's wrong?" Natasha asked, noticing the tears.

"I lost them," you told her. "I was looking for one, then I lost the rest. I know I couldn't sell that at the marketplace, but maybe there was someone who would buy them somewhere. But now they're gone,"

She pushed the rose closer to you.

"I'm not sure how much comfort it would provide, but would you like this rose?"

Your eyes widened; you couldn't believe she was offering you the rarest item in the world. You could probably be set off from this one alone.

"Really?" You asked, your voice going higher.

"Under one condition,"

You nodded excitedly, already feeling the riches that would come from this.

"That you don't sell it,"

"What?" You asked, your face dropping.

She nodded,

"Those are my terms,"

You thought for a moment. It wasn't like you were ever going to see her again. She was a witch who lived in the woods for goodness sake.

She would never know if you sold it or not.

"Deal."

Your lips twitched into a smirk. You took the rose, carefully holding it close.

"Thank you for everything, Natasha,"

She nodded.

"Is your leg feeling better?"

You stood up, carefully putting your weight on it. Her potion worked; it didn't hurt anymore.

As you began making your way to the door, she stopped you.

"Wait," she said. "It's too dark for you to make your way back on your own."

You open your mouth to respond, but stopped yourself as she muttered a spell. Her gaze shifted towards the candles, where one of the flames rose into the air, getting brighter. She guided it through the air until it was floating over you.

"It'll stay in front of you until you blow it out."

"Thanks," you said.

So, you waved goodbye to her then walked out the door. As promised, the flame followed you, providing both light and warmth as you made your way back into the woods.

Now, all you had to do was sell the rose and never see the witch again.

-

The next day, you woke up and the rose was still just as beautiful as it was the day before.

All you had to do was sell it at the marketplace, and you would be set for life.

So, you held it close to your chest as you made your way down. You knew everyone would freak out once they saw it, so you tucked it under your jacket as you entered the crowd of people.

You quickly entered the tent where you could present ideas, finding your place in line.

You could feel your heart racing as you thought about what would happen when you presented the rose. You would never have to spend hours making something just for it to not sell again. Hell, you'd never have to sell again.

Excitement bubbled in your chest as the line short shorter and shorter. Now, there were only three people in front of you and then you could sell your rose.

But you promised Natasha you wouldn't.

A pang of guilt struck you as you thought back to last night.

She had no reason to help you, yet she did. She healed you, provided you light on your way home, and gave you a rose. Which she told you not to sell.

Now there were only two people in front of you.

But she had an entire rose bush that probably had hundreds of roses on it. Why would it matter if just one was sold?

The line moved again, there was just one person in front of you.

You were on the brink of getting so much money, yet you were so hesitant.

You thought about the way her green eyes looked at you when she found you. She seemed so happy to take you to her little cottage and heal you. She could've just left you there. But instead she healed you, and gave you a light to get home.

Now, you were the front of the line.

The same man who sent you running out in tears yesterday was staring at you, eyebrows raised.

"Yes?"

You reached into your jacket, grabbing the rose. As your hand touched the petals, her eyes flashed in your mind once again.

She saved you in the woods, the least you could do was keep your promise.

"Never mind, um, I'm sorry, I gotta go,"

You stepped out of the line, placing the rose back inside your jacket pocket. Much like yesterday, you ran out of the room to get away from all the people.

You quickly exited the marketplace in of itself, running down the same path you ran down the day before.

You could hardly believe what was happening as you passed the same river, and then the rock field.

By the time you entered the woods again, you pulled the rose out. You stopped for a few moments to catch your breath, admiring the rose.

Soon enough, you started running again. You searched and searched for the familiar rose bush, but you couldn't find anything.

You looked up, feeling yourself panicking as you realized you had no idea where you were in the woods.

"Natasha!" You called out. Nothing.

You kept looking around, just hoping to see that familiar flash of red. But still, nothing.

"Natasha!" You called again.

Of course that witch just had to make her house in the woods invisible.

You looked all around you, desperate to find anything that could lead to Natasha.

Your breathing quickened as you kept turning in circles. At this point, you weren't sure if you'd even be able to make it home.

Just as you were about to call her name again, you recognized her red hair behind some trees a ways ahead.

You let out a sigh of relief, running over to her.

"Natasha!" You said as you finally reached her.

She was standing by a berry bush, carefully picking them off and placing them in the basket she was holding.

"Oh hello, Y/N,"

"I've been looking all over for you," you told her, a little out of breath.

She hummed, keeping her focus on the berries.

"Since you're here, would you mind helping me? I'm going to cook with these for the next few days, and you'd be more than welcome to join me for lunch,"

You nodded, hesitantly standing next to her. She handed her second basket to you, then kept picking away.

Without saying anything else to you, she kept humming that familiar tune. Before you knew it, she was mumbling under her breath too,

"Good girls, hopeful they'll be, and long they will wait,"

You tilted your head to the side, trying to make sense of the words.

She noticed this, finally shifting her focus to you.

"It's from a song," she told you.

"Where did you hear it?" You asked.

"A few decades ago, give or take. I was traveling, and heard the most beautiful singing voice. So I listened every night. I still think those songs are a gift to the world to this day,"

You nodded, picking the berries once again.

"Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting, silence, the train runs off its tracks,"

You smiled, trying to memorize the lyrics. She said nothing, but continued on as she picked the berries.

Soon enough, both your baskets were full. You followed her, trying to take notice of where you were in the woods before she would do her magic thing to make her place visible.

There were three pine trees pressed close together, surrounded by taller trees. On the ground was animal tracks, along with fallen leaves.

When she led you back into her house, you followed her in placing your basket on the counter. From there, she pulled out a few other baskets full of ingredients.

"Is soup for lunch okay with you?" She asked.

"Sure,"

Instead of waiting for her at the table, you stood next to her by the stove as she started cooking.

Suddenly remembering why you came to visit, you pulled out the rose she had given you.

"How come you asked me not to sell this?" You asked.

Natasha raised her eyebrows, keeping her focus on the soup. In fact, it almost felt like she was ignoring you for a moment. You opened your mouth, about to ask her again in case she didn't hear you, but she held her hand up to stop you.

So you sighed in defeat, making your way to the table where you sat in the same spot as before.

A few minutes later, she came over with two bowls. She set one down in front of you, and the other across from you where she sat.

You were about to say something, but she started speaking first.

"Money is a strange thing," she started. "I never understood why people put so much value into something that does nothing for you."

"I mean I guess but-" you started, but she cut you off.

"I was there before flowers were as rare as they are now. I loved them, I always have. Roses were always my favorite," she explained to you.

You had some of your soup, which was surprisingly really good before she continued on.

"As they became rare, I saw how they were traded for worthless coins and such, and it made no sense to me. Nothing as beautiful as a rose should be traded for something that does nothing for you."

You shrugged, having more of your soup.

"I've lived on my own without money for a long time, Y/N."

"Well yeah, but you have magic,"

This time, she shrugged. You were right, it was much easier for her to survive without money when she could cast spells and make potions.

"I was so sure that you'd sell the rose," she admitted.

"I almost did," you confessed, prompting her to raise an eyebrow. "But then I decided not to go back on my word, even if it could set me for life,"

She smiled, looking you in the eye.

"Well, I appreciate that you didn't sell it. I know it must have been tempting, but you did keep your word. For that I thank you,"

You smiled, feeling your cheeks heat up at the way her eyes shone in the light.

By the time you finished your soup, she waved her hand so it would levitate towards the sink and start washing itself. You chuckled.

"I have a question," you told her.

She nodded, waving her hand for you to continue.

"If I were to look for you again... is there any way I could find you easier?"

Her lips curled into a smirk, and you could've sworn she blushed for a moment.

She took the rose she had given you, waving her hand over it before whispering something. She then handed it back to you, a smile on her face.

"Now, as long as you have this rose, you'll always be able to find me."

-

Natasha was right. Three days later, you decided to visit her again. As you walked through the woods, you noticed the rose began glowing and got warmer as you went in a certain direction.

Soon enough, you recognized the three pine trees.

"Natasha!" You called, knowing she was nearby.

It felt as if the air changed in front of you, but soon enough the familiar cottage became visible to you.

You walked up to the front door, and you weren't quite sure what to do. She knew you were here, or she wouldn't have lifted the invisibility spell for you. But at the same time, it still felt rude not to knock.

While you were still deciding what to do, the door opened on its own.

"Hello, Y/N," she greeted you from the kitchen.

"Hi," you replied, waving to her.

She dropped the spoon she was holding, but it kept stirring for her as she turned around to face you.

"What brings you here today?"

"I wanted to see you,"

She turned back around, taking hold of the spoon as she couldn't stop herself from smiling. Of course, her cheeks turned bright red as well, but she refused to face you again until they returned to their normal color.

"Perfect, I was planning on collecting stones from the stream. Would you like to join me?"

You nodded, feeling your own smile grow.

She then made her way over to you, waving her hand so two cloth bags began floating towards the two of you. You took one, and she took the other.

From there, you followed her back into the woods.

"So what do you need the stones for?" You asked, catching up so you were by her side now.

"They're useful for protection spells,"

"Protection from what?"

Natasha laughed, shaking her head. You raised your eyebrows in response, causing her to laugh even more.

"Well, it wouldn't be a good idea to leave myself exposed where anyone could find me, right?"

You shrugged; she was right.

"So the spells wear off over time then?"

"Yes, and this one wears off faster the more I remove the cloak. Which I've had to do a lot lately, considering I have a frequent visitor,"

You felt your cheeks heat up again, quickly shifting your gaze to the ground.

"Oh," you said. "Sorry,"

She chuckled,

"I never said I minded,"

You smiled. Just as you were about to say something else, you heard the sound of rushing water coming from in front of you.

"Here we are,"

She took her shoes off, stepping into the water. She motioned for you to follow, which you did.

"We're looking for the ones with a purple tint," the witch told you.

You nodded, then began looking down at the rocks in the water. You stepped to the side, so your shadow wouldn't block the tint from the sun.

You picked up a stone, carefully placing it into your bag.

"Can I ask you something?" You started.

"Alright,"

"Are there like... witch covens or something like that?"

She laughed, putting a few stones in her bag.

"Sure there are, but I've never been apart of one. The closest I've been to that was working closely with one other witch. It didn't work out though. None of my spells were working, and then I realized that it was her. I realized it's been her messing up everything, almost as if she were pulling every string. It's been her all along,"

You tilted your head to the side, shifting your attention from the stones to Natasha.

"Do you like being alone?"

She thought for a moment, her cheeks turning red.

"Yes," she told you, avoiding eye contact.

You weren't quite sure why, but your heart dropped.

"Oh..." you replied, unsure what else to say.

So, you went back to helping the witch collect her stones.

-

It was another week before you visited her again. Like before, the rose led you to her.

When the door opened, she was sitting at the table absentmindedly.

"I was wondering when you were gonna come back," she said, staring up at you.

You smiled, shrugging.

"So, are there berries to be picked or stones to be collected?" You asked her.

She shook her head no as a smile crept onto her face.

"There's something else I want to do with you,"

"Alrighty, what is it?"

Natasha stood up, making her way through the hallways and to her own bedroom. Once she came back out, she was holding a pair of boots that seemed to have something metal around them.

"You'll need to wear these," she told you.

You were hesitant, but you trusted her. So you sat down, changing your shoes while she searched through the drawers of her kitchen.

By the time you got the boots on, she had come back, holding what seemed to be a water bottle of sorts.

"I'll need you to drink this," she told you.

Once again, you were a bit hesitant but ended up drinking it anyways.

When you finished, she held her hands out to pull you up.

"You good?" She asked.

When you nodded, her smile widened.

So then, she led you back to the woods. The boots made it a little harder to walk, so you grabbed her hand.

She didn't say anything, but her cheeks did turn a slight shade of red.

You were about to say something about the boots when she stopped in her tracks.

"We're here,"

"What?"

Where exactly was here? As far as you were concerned, you were still in the middle of the woods with no berries or streams nearby.

Natasha let out a small laugh, looking up at the trees. She pointed too, indicating for you to look as well.

As you did, you noticed something at the top of the trees.

"What is it?" You asked, to which she smirked.

She let go of your hand, then flicked her wrist. Much to your surprise, she began floating in the air.

When your jaw dropped, she only chuckled as she flew in circles around you. To be fair, considering all the other magic stuff she's done you shouldn't have been that surprised.

"Take the boots off," she told you.

You were a little nervous as to what was going to happen, but you took them off anyway.

When you began floating, you held your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from screaming. What was in that potion she gave you?

Natasha saw your fear, so she flew closer to you, connecting your hands.

"What is this?" You asked, your voice shaking.

She leaned up against you from behind, wrapping her arms around your waist.

"It's okay," she whispered into your ear. "You're okay,"

Your breathing began to even out, and you finally opened your eyes again.

Once she noticed you weren't as scared anymore, she flew up higher, still holding your hand.

By the time you reached the top of the tree, it seemed as if she had put a hammock there. She then sat down, pulling you next to her.

When you laid back, you turned to face her, prompting her to lift a leg over yours so you wouldn't float away.

"So you've made me weightless to get to the top of a tree?" You asked.

"Well, it's dangerous to use spells to lift more than one living thing at a time. It's okay though, it'll wear off soon,"

You nodded, adjusting yourself so you were even closer to her to feel safe.

By now, your noses were almost touching as she reached her hand back to stroke your hair.

"What else do you use roses for?" You asked her.

"Well, they are useful for spells of course." She started. "But they're also useful for finding beautiful girls like you,"

Now, you felt blood rushing to your cheeks at her words.

"I'm glad you have them," you said, smiling.

"Me too,"

You weren't sure how long you were up there with her, but you felt freer than you'd ever been. You brought a hand up to her cheek, slowly rubbing your thumb against her skin. She smiled at your touch, her green eyes never leaving yours.

By the time it started to get dark, you didn't feel quite as floaty anymore. You even tested it out, and you didn't float into the air when she let go of you.

So, she picked you up into her arms and carried you bridal style as she flew down.

"If you'd like, I can carry you all the way back if you don't want to wear the heavy shoes again,"

You nodded, prompting her smile to widen. So, you held onto her tighter as she made her way back. You knew her arms had to be getting tired, but she didn't loosen her grip once.

The sun was completely set by the time you got back, and it had gotten much colder.

"Do you want another light spell to get home?" She offered, then hesitated for a moment. "Or you can stay here for the night, so you don't have to walk at this hour,"

You felt yourself blushing at the thought, but you nodded. Soon enough, her cheeks became as red as her hair.

Natasha motioned for you to follow as she made her way to her room. Your heartbeat quickened; you had never been to this part of her house before.

Her room was pretty simple; she had a bed, along with spell and potion jars all over. And, there were several roses by her bed.

You crawled into bed, scooting over to make sure she had room. But when she only stood by the doorway, you tilted your head to the side in confusion.

"Aren't you going to sleep too?" You asked.

She shook her head no,

"I'll let you sleep alone," she said. "Don't worry about me. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay," you replied. "Goodnight, Natasha."

"Goodnight, Y/N."

The next morning, you felt just as safe with her as you had the day before, maybe even a little more.

So when you left to go back home, you knew you'd be coming back soon.

-

As the weeks passed, you began visiting her every day. It wasn't uncommon for you to spend the night with her, even if she wouldn't sleep in the same bed with you.

Today, you were planning to go right over to her as soon as you woke up, but you noticed a letter by your front door.

Hello Y/N, I've heard that you've done work at your local marketplace, so I'd like to invite you to work for me in my accountings and transactions department. Please let me know within the next two weeks. -Steve Rogers

You could hardly believe it. You were getting a job offer! You wouldn't have to be so dependent on the marketplace anymore, you would be able to have more than just the basic necessities!

You immediately went to research Steve Rogers, reading up on everything you could find about him.

From what you found, he lived across the country and had a very successful business.

Why did he want you of all people though?

You made your way to the marketplace, running to the familiar tent. You had the letter in your hands as you pushed through all the people, wanting to get to your boss.

He chuckled as he raised an eyebrow in amusement,

"You've been recommended!" Was all he told you.

You had an actual job offer across the country. You couldn't believe it.

You made your way back home, ready to find out everything you could about working in accounting and transactions.

As you searched through the books, eager to learn, your smile began to fade. It definitely wouldn't be a job you would enjoy.

But at the same time, you needed to get out of trying to make a living at the marketplace.

Just as you were about to research more, your eyes fell upon your rose. The same rose you didn't sell, that would always lead you to Natasha.

You couldn't leave without talking to her.

You had mixed feelings as you made your way to her house in the woods. You fiddled with the rose as it led you to her. You weren't sure how you'd be able to continue to visit her once you moved.

She seemed to to sense that something was on your mind as you walked through the door, as she immediately stopped what she was doing to go over to you.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing's wrong," you told her. "But I do have news to tell you,"

The witch gripped the back of the chair, raising her eyebrows to indicate for you to continue.

"I got a job offer," you told her, feeling a mix of emotions within you.

"That's exciting," she replied, loosening her grip on the chair. "What's the job?"

"I was told I would be in the accounting and transactions department,"

"Is that something you would want?"

"Well, it's a good money opportunity... so yes,"

"Well then I'm happy for you, Y/N, I really am,"

Now, your breath caught in your throat as you stared at her. She could tell there was something else.

"It's a job I'd have to move for," you said. "Like, across the country,"

It was as if the air fell silent. She whipped around, turning away from you.

"You'll be leaving here forever then?"

"Yeah..."

Natasha blinked away the tears forming in her eyes, still refusing to face you.

"You're moving across the country for a job that rewards you in something that does nothing for you?"

"I know how you feel about money, Natasha, but-"

"No, no," she cut you off. "It's your life, you get to do what you want."

Her voice cracked, and it almost sounded like she was holding back tears. You opened your mouth to say something, but she cut you off.

"You won't be needing that rose anymore,"

You held onto it tighter, but it was no use considering it appeared in her hand the moment she flicked her wrist.

"Natasha, wait-"

"No, Y/N, you better get going. You mustn't be late for your new moneymaking career,"

Now, tears began forming in your eyes. You were about to say something else, but the door opened again as she waved her hand.

"It's still light out, you'll be able to find your way back just fine."

You could hardly believe what was happening, but she simply shifted her gaze to the floor as she flicked her wrist one last time. It felt like you were hit with a gust of wind, forcing you to stumble backwards and out the door.

She was alone again.

-

Three days had passed, and all you could think about was Natasha. You were supposed to leave this evening, but your stomach was in a knot.

You tried to distract yourself by learning more about your new job, but it just wasn't interesting to you. Nothing about it made you light up.

Even though it had only been three days, you already missed Natasha.

You anxiously sat in your bedroom, replying your last moments with her in your head. You loved being with her, and you'd miss her.

But it's not like you could ignore the fact that unlike her, you do need money to survive.

So, you started packing your bag to get ready for your move. You were leaving this place.

-

As you walked to the train station, something in you felt heavy. Your hands were almost shaking with every step you took.

"Ticket, miss?" You were asked.

You looked at the train, but all you could think about was Natasha.

"Never mind, um, I'm sorry, I gotta go,"

Without another word, you ran out of the line. You kept running, finally feeling lighter.

You ran past the train station, smiling as you saw the woods up ahead of you.

By the time you were surrounded by trees, your breathing quickened again; you didn't have your rose, and you didn't know how to find Natasha when she had the spell up.

You fiddled with your fingers, feeling your heart race. Then it hit you; muscle memory.

You closed your eyes, thinking about where you were in the woods. You didn't pay attention to the trees around you, you only paid attention to where your legs were taking you.

Now, you were walking through the forest with your eyes closed, smiling widely.

You acted as if you were holding the rose, thinking about where you had to step.

You could do this.

Finally, you opened your eyes and recognized the three pine trees.

"Natasha!" You called for the witch, hoping she wasn't still mad at you.

"Natasha, please!" You called again, feeling the nerves again.

As if she heard the desperation in your voice, her house appeared before she stepped outside.

"What do you want, Y/N?"

Her eyes were green eyes didn't have the same warmth they normally had. Now, they were bloodshot and she had dark circles under them.

"I'm not taking the job," you told her, smiling once again.

"What do you mean?"

"I choose you,"

"What?"

"I choose you, Natasha,"

You took a few steps closer to her, connecting your hands to hers.

"You're right! I shouldn't sacrifice my happiness for money, especially when it's a job I don't even like! But you make me happy! I choose you,"

She could hardly believe the words coming out of your mouth. She raised one hand up to your face, gently rubbing her thumb against her cheek.

"You choose me?"

"I choose you,"

Before you knew it, you leaned forward and closed the gap between the two of you. She was surprised by this, but she gently moved her lips along yours nonetheless. You ran your hands up, letting your fingers run through her hair as you kissed her.

"Is that okay?" You asked as you finally pulled apart for air.

She was grinning at you.

Instead of replying, she grabbed your hands and kissed you again. She kept walking, forcing you to move backwards until she was pressing you up against a tree. Her tongue ran across your lips as she kept her grip on your wrists.

You smiled into the kiss, allowing yourself to get lost in the taste of her. You definitely made the right choice.

-

That day, not only did you find a natural, real rose; but the love of your life.

-

taglist: @lyak12 @thewidowsghost @Murder-is-the-solution @zombies1ayea @plasticl0ve @romanoffscottage @atlas-nex @ria900 @youreatotalposer @readings-stuff @nats-dreamland @smileyromanoff

set me free | sam wilson

summary: it is said that your skin will regenerate itself approximately every 27 days. although, that may be true... it's been two years. why doesn't it feel like it?

pairing(s): sam wilson x teen!black!reader [ minor natasha romanoff x teen!black!reader as well ]

warning(s): talks of sexual assault, panic attack

genre: angst, hurt/comfort words: 2,278

authors note: IF THE TOPIC OF SEXUAL ASSAULT IS TRIGGERING PLEASE DO NOT READ!!! the parts that are in italics are flashbacks to reader's nightmare. the flashback doesn't go into detail of the reader's SA, only Sam comforting them about the nightmare. this is a vent fic is based on my experience as a SA survivor. i use writing as a way of coping and stuff. it's free therapy. i've been sitting on this fic for over a year debating on if i wanted to post it and finally finished it. the ending is kinda rushed tho.

Two years ago, you died. Well, not physically. You were still breathing and everything. But that was when your innocence had retired. You never told anyone when it first happened. You were too scared of the consequences. And, by the time you hadn't, it seemed too late to speak up, in your opinion. There was nothing anyone could do now. He already ruined you. So, you just let it be.

Eventually, you learned from Sam and Natasha that your uncle was arrested for multiple charges of sexual assault. You were immediately overwhelmed with tears at the announcement, for you finally felt free. You began to laugh as well. The pair were quite confused as they watched you laugh and cry. A weight lifted off your shoulders that day as you finally could admit what he did to you. Sam suggested speaking up, but you were still very fearful of even being in the same room as him. It didn't matter that you'd be protected during the trials; the thought of it made you sick.

You still get nightmares from time to time. Sometimes, they were manageable. Other times, they were not. Last night, it seemed like luck was not on your side. You didn't get much sleep due to how bad this one was.

~~

It felt too real as if he was watching in the shadows of your room. FRIDAY alerted Sam due to the spike in your vitals. You'd awakened in a state of panic. You sat in a pool of sweat as your heart pounded in your head.

Sam busted through the door in a frenzy. He hadn't noticed his mistake until you frantically hurried out of bed toward the widow bites on the desk. You trembled in the corner of the room as you pointed the weapon toward him. Sam lifted his hands as he attempted to persuade you to put the weapon down. "It's okay. You aren't there anymore. You're safe," he assured. "You can drop it. It's okay." He stayed in that spot, repeating those phrases until you lowered the weapon.

Finally, the widow bites hit the ground. You drop down along with it. Slowly, Sam takes a couple of steps toward you. Knowing you were still startled, he squatted down to your level to make himself less of a threat. He kept some distance between you, instructing FRIDAY to turn on the lights. "You're safe. I'm here. It's okay." You quivered in fear. Although you saw Sam before you, you only heard your uncle's voice -- the monster who took advantage of you. Your mind was playing tricks on you. "Breathe with me, yeah? Ready? One, two, three, four…." You obeyed his instructions.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Soon enough, your breathing went back to normal. Your sobs shift to hiccups and periodic sniffling. Sam waited for you to settle more before questioning, "Is it okay if I move closer?" He didn't want to set you off again.

You nod.

"Are you sure?" 

You swallowed. "Yes," you whispered with a croaky voice. 

Carefully, Sam scoots to sit beside you. He makes a point of keeping some space between you. You sit in silence for a while. He wants you to take control of the situation. He doesn't want you to feel pressured to talk. You recognized the silent act and appreciated him dearly.

"I… I thought I saw him." You glanced up at Sam; your voice was low, shaky. You pointed to the corner adjacent to you. "H-He was right there." Sam doesn't speak. He held out his hand as a silent invitation of reassurance. His eyes and the expression on his face held sympathy. You clutch his hand like your lifeline.

"He can't reach you anymore." Those five words caused a loud sob to escape. Sam pulled you onto his lap and nestled you as you let it all out. He couldn't prevent the tears from falling. Sam hated that this happened to you. No one deserves to feel manipulated and violated.

"God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

You sat there for who knows how long. Waves of grief and pain danced throughout the room as both of you cried. Sam grieved with you as you wept over the loss of who you once were. Truthfully, he felt responsible for what happened to you. The man wished that he was there to protect you that night.

He hadn't noticed that you'd fallen asleep until he heard the sound of soft snores. Guessing that you wouldn't want to sleep in your bedroom for the rest of the night, Sam slowly maneuvered himself to carry you to his room instead. Sam spotted your teddy bear in his peripheral vision as he approached the door and grabbed it before walking down the corridors. Thankfully, he didn't have to worry about waking anyone else in the Compound because only You, Sam, and Natasha lived on this floor. As far as Sam knew, Natasha was still visiting her sister, Yelena, in Ohio.

Once he settled you in his bed, Sam made himself a makeshift bed on the floor at the end of the bed. Sam knew you'd end up scolding him in the morning for doing so, but he didn't care. He checked his phone for the time and noticed a message.

Message from Nat:

Hey. Friday alerted me that [Name] had a nightmare again. My flight isn't for another hour, but I'll be there before she wakes up. I know you've got them, so I'm not too worried. Update me tomorrow :)

Delivered at 2:35 a.m.

I finally got her back to bed. This one seemed much worse. I'll tell you more in the morning. Have a safe flight, Nat

Delivered at 3:56 a.m.

Sam checked up on you again before allowing himself to fall back asleep. "Sweet dreams, [Name]."

~~

As you wake up, the scent of lavender and pine trees greets you. From beneath you, you can hear Sam snoring. Usually, you'd scold him for the potential back pain he'd experience later. But you were too exhausted today to do so. Despite your body's protests, your brain determines you are better off continuing your education. Some of you believe that connecting with friends will lift your mood. So you try not to wake up Sam and sneak back to your room to prepare for the day.

You were better off staying at home. 

The school hours are a blur. You lack self-control. You are not present mentally. You've detached yourself from everything. You were tired of your peers and those who didn't know you well. You wrote your exhaustion off as pulling an all nighter, which wasn’t too much of a lie in your eyes. That was your explanation when confronted with your unusual behavior. Most people bought it. It took more sway from Peter, Ned, and Michelle. They stopped bothering you after you assured them you were okay, though you still occasionally felt some concern. When the day is done, you are overwhelmed by the amount of skin you would brush up against while walking through the hallways to your next destination. You're quick to pack your belongings and rush out of the building. You don't bother to say goodbye to your friends.

A black Corvette Stingray awaits you just outside the school's main entrance. "Hey, Solnishko," Natasha says as you enter the car. When you questioned Natasha one day during your training session, she explained that it meant "little sun." She described you as having a bright and fiery essence, similar to the sun. And you became her little sun from then on. However, her little sun isn't shining as bright as usual today.  

The term endearment makes you smile but doesn't reach your eyes. Natasha doesn't comment on your gloomy disposition.

"Hi," you reply. "How was your trip?" The upbeat tone you desire does not come through. As Natasha drives away, you concentrate on the blurry scenery outside the window. You cringe internally at your lack of enthusiasm. Even though small talk is the last thing you want to do right now, you last saw Natasha a while ago. You were missing her presence.

"It was great. Later, I'll fill you in on everything." Only a murmur is returned, so the redhead ends the conversation there. The only sound on the return trip home is the radio playing at a low volume.

Natasha knows that you're not yourself. Your body language reeks of detachment. She doesn't take offense to the lack of expression you offer her. Sam gave her the run-down of last night's events once you left for school. She sees herself in you, and it pains her. The same drained look in her eyes after the memory of the past that Natasha pleaded to any god who would listen to escape. She knows how it feels to have her body controlled in such a terrible way - Innocence that was snatched away without any consent. It upset her terribly, but the most she can do is comfort you in any way she can. 

Once you enter the Compound, she guides you to her room, knowing that you usually find solace in her bed compared to your own. "Do you want to talk about it?" You still stand at the edge of her bed, arms crossed against your chest as comfort. She sits with her back against the headboard, waiting for you to make a move yourself. She waits patiently for you as you ponder whether you want to relive the nightmare again. You crawl over to the opposite side of the bed and lie so your head rests in her lap. "You know, I was talking with Bruce the other day, and he told me our skin regenerates itself every 27 days," you say as she caresses your cheek. "It's been two years, Tasha; why can I still feel him?" Your voice cracks as the tears you've been fighting away resurface.

Natasha's throat runs dry at your words. She wants nothing more than to harm the man that hurt you. Of course, there isn't a time limit when it comes to healing from trauma, but she hates that this still affects you so profoundly to this day. "I don't know, Solnishko," she whispers. She's at a loss for words. She knows nothing she says will immediately take away the pain you experience. "I'm sorry I can't take the grief away, sweetheart. If I could, I'd do it in a heartbeat." 

"I know. But your presence is enough for me." You bask in each other's comfort for a while. "Is Sam still home?" 

"Yeah, did you want to see him?" she asks, and you nod in response. 

"Okay. Hey Friday?" she calls to the Artificial Intelligence. "Can you tell Sam to come to my room, please?"

"Of course, Ms. Romanoff," the AI replies after a beat.

After a few minutes, a knock sounds at her door. Granting the man entrance, Natasha gestures to the teen in her lap, who has their eyes closed. "Hi, honey," Sam greets them as he nears the edge of the bed. Slightly opening your eyes at the sound of his voice, you grin. "Hi, Sammy," you whisper. 

"How are you feeling now?" He asks you. Observing your face, he can see signs of exhaustion in your eyes. 

"Very drained," you admit. "But a little better now that both of you are here." As much as you love everyone on the team and have a strong connection with them, you've always been more connected to Sam and Natasha for some reason. And the two of them love you like their own. They both smile softly at that. 

"How about we all take a nap, yeah? And then we can go out for dinner later?" Natasha suggests, looking at Sam for his thoughts on the suggestion. 

He nods. "Sounds good to me. Is that okay with you?" He asks you for confirmation.

You nod in agreement. With a yawn from you, you all situate yourselves on Natasha's bed. Sam and Natasha lay on opposite ends, with you in the middle. They wait until your breath evens out before speaking quietly. "I might call the school tomorrow to excuse her. She needs a day for herself." Sam tells the redhead. 

"Yeah, she needs it. Maybe we could plan an outing with the team for her." She kisses your forehead, brushing your braids out of your face. "Or just with us, depending on how she's feeling in the morning." 

Sam nods at the idea and closes his eyes; Natasha follows suit. And for a while, it's quiet until he says, "You know, you'd make an incredible mother, Nat." The statement causes Natasha to open her eyes again and look at Sam. He knows the subject of motherhood is a touchy one, given her background, but he can't help but admit it. He honestly does believe his friend would be the best parent. "Thank you. You know, you wouldn't make too bad of a father yourself, Wilson. You already have the terrible dad jokes downpacked," she says with a light chuckle. 

He sucks his teeth. "They not that bad."

She smirked lazily as the jet lag from the mission caught up to her. "Everyone else begs to differ." 

"You think they'll be okay?" Sam asks as he stares at the sleeping teen between them. 

"They always do. They have us in their corner to guide them," she reminds him, and he nods in agreement. If you were anything like either of them, you wouldn't let this throw you off track forever. You always bounce back from whatever obstacles life throws at you. With that, they fall asleep with a heaviness in their hearts for you, but they know you'll be alright.