I cannot stand the parodies of modern major general, they're overdone and simply not as good as the original. They've done them about everything, whatever topic, big or small.
And when i notice one of them my eyes will always start to roll.
The diction's always slurry when they rush the complicated words, and adding many fricatives will turn it so cacophonous. The slanted rhymes are silly and they keep just making more and more, please someone stop the parodies of modern major general.
The scanning of the lyrics in the meter is unbearable, they emphazise the syllables in ways that are untenable, in short in matters musical, prosodic and ephemeral, i cannot stand the parodies of modern major general!
Jngyi loved teaching humans. Truly. Most of them were problematic in their own ways, but he loved being able to help shape them into beings that wouldn’t destroy the galaxy. One of his favorite lessons was teaching humans that sometimes there was no way to ‘fix’ something. Humans needed that lesson. They tried to fix everything, and sometimes made things much worse.
Jngyi gave his students the task of ‘terraforming a planet for habitation’. The goal was to give students a planet that could not be terraformed so they would admit the planet is undesirable and thus accept defeat. Most of the time, even humans would admit a planet would require too much money or effort to change or that attempting terraformation would damage the planet beyond survivability. Ganix was the planet assigned to the more stubborn or supercilious students.
The planet Ganix is unsuitable for life, any life. Most of the planet’s surface is covered in black water, both colored and contaminated by the ash of overactive underwater volcanoes. The excessive ash in the water choked any wildlife that had the misfortune of trying to live there.
What land exists isn’t even dry, instead covered in large patches of marsh. The three seasons observable from a safe distance fluctuate so quickly and harshly that these marshes freeze over and melt in a matter of days, effectively destroying any flora that tries to survive.
While it’s hard to call anything a ‘flood’ when the planet is mostly water to begin with, the tides still completely cover what little land exists when the lunar cycle reaches perigee for a full day every standard two weeks. The climate is no easier to deal with. Rain carrying enough ash to coat the ground, ice falling like rocks, or the excessive heat that accompanies the ‘dry spells’.
The planet isn’t even able to be terraformed as the unstable tectonic plates would fracture and cause even more geological disasters. Which is exactly why Ganix had been classified as uninhabitable and used only as a way point for those whose nav systems broke down.
Jngyi felt very confident that Millie, Elan, Rene, and Brenden, his four most human students, would come to the same conclusion.
The report Rene handed in for the group was over 20 pages long.
“This is quite the long report for what should be a very short sentence,” Jngyi stated.
“What do you mean a short sentence? Just setting up appropriate farm land takes up three of those pages. Elan wanted to write five but we convinced her to shorten it down.”
Jngyi quickly scanned his eyes down the first page of the report. “In our research, we have discovered terraforming in its current meaning is not required for habitation. What do you mean?”
Rene glanced at Millie, who nodded encouragement.
“Well, we don’t believe you need to alter the planet to adjust its climate or structure in order to live there. We believe that it’s possible to adapt to the circumstances available with a little bit of outside supplies.”
Jngyi slapped the report down on his desk. “The assignment was meant to make you admit defeat, not write nonsense to make you sound clever.”
Brenden stepped forward next to Rene. “We didn’t make up stuff! Everything in the report you haven’t bothered to read yet will work.”
Jngyi stared at the upset boy. “You cannot be thriving members of the galaxy if you cannot admit you are incapable of something. Ganix cannot be terraformed. The last attempt at it is what set off the underwater volcanoes to begin with. It is beyond repair and thus is not sustainable for life.”
“Well we say you’re wrong,” Brenden fired back.
Jngyi tried to remember that these were children, mentally unformed and unable to refrain from stubbornness and stupidity. “It is not just me. You’re saying the galaxy is wrong. You’re saying that you four know more than every species, human included, who’s tried to live there before. Even you must see how-“
Millie cut in. “What if they are?”
Jngyi paused to let the eager child’s words register. “What if what? What if the entire galaxy is wrong? How can you ask that?”
“You always teach us that the galaxy is always changing and it’s important to adapt. Well, what if this is another change just waiting to happen? What if they’re wrong?” Millie reasoned.
Jngyi shook his head. “It’s not the same thing. I’m sorry, but you’ve failed this assignment.”
Brenden started to say something, but Rene spoke up faster.
“Will you please read the report before making a final decision? You might change your mind.”
“Fine. I will read the report. But tomorrow the grade will be submitted.”
The four humans left Jngyi to read in quiet.
Jngyi put off reading the report until after dinner. He regretted that decision when he reached page two and had to start contacting other experts. Jngyi knew some earth history, but floating gardens and sun shades and buoyant cities were beyond his working knowledge. Certainly his students had done their research.
By the time the four humans regrouped in his class, Jngyi had a virtual group of his own. Experts in survival, plant growth, microbiology, construction, watercraft, and climate all watched the students enter the class. Each expert had their own copy of the report, along with their own research on the planet itself.
“Prof J, what’s going on here?” Brenden asked.
“Your plan is insane, arduous, possibly nugatory, but it may be viable all the same. I’ve gathered together some experts to question your tactics. If they agree that this could work, they will add their expanded knowledge to your concepts and we will submit this to the terraformation council for further review. If you do well today, this could well allow all four of you entrance to whichever field of study you desire after basic schooling.”
Jngyi motioned for the children to sit down at their seats. Each desk had their report and a pad to pull up more research during the debate.
“If you need a moment to ready yourself, please take it. We begin in fifteen minutes.”
——————————————
Deidre, the expert human on the terraformation committee, looked up from her itinerary. “Hey Kleri, why is Ganix on the schedule for the next meeting? I thought this planet had been deemed unlivable a long time ago?”
Aide Kleri nodded. “Yes Madam Deidre, you are correct.”
“Has something changed?”
“Apparently some teenage humans received the planet as a homework assignment.”
Deidre laughed, cutting off whatever else Aide Kleri would have said. Kleri waited until Deidre calmed down.
“Madam Deidre, why is that funny?”
“Because Kleri, there is nothing worse than a human teenager with a good idea.”
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reading/listening to Pratchett's Thief of Time, and this was probably one of my favorite pages, with digs and nods at so many things at once
Folks, friends, y’all…. esk*mo is a slur. I understand a lot of people don’t know that, I don’t want to be a dick about it, but I’ve been seeing it in fics. Wanna write “esk*mo kisses”? Just say “nuzzled noses” or something.
I’m not here to call anybody out, it’s been in multiple fics, I’m not vague posting. This is just a psa. 👍🏻
Not to go "if you have ADHD just go for a run" or anything, but I am so serious if you have ADHD you should regularly go outside, no headphones no phone no nothing and just stand and observe for a while until you've had enough. Not until you get bored, until you've had enough. Drink your coffee without watching tiktok. Have a bath without music. Turn down the volume in your headphones. I cannot overstate how much learning to be bored is cruicial with ADHD. Life is not just about pleasure, no matter what your dysregulated dopamine system thinks, and when you teach your brain to be okay with being bored, then boring tasks stop feeling like torture. By letting yourself be bored you are yoinking your system out of the high/low binary and allow for the highs to feel like actual highs and not just anything that isn't low. I am so serious go literally touch grass. Listen to the sounds in your flat. Stimulate your body the way it was designed. It lowers anxiety and makes you feel like you're real and best of all it's completely free
Hi Everyone,
I wish I didn’t feel that I needed to write this post, and it contains discussion of: transphobia, including from the state; suicide; and domestic abuse.
However, it is necessary to fight back against the Conservative government’s latest attack on trans people, this time coming after trans kids. They recently released “Gender Questioning Children Non-statutory guidance for schools and colleges in England”. It is full of transphobia in the form of Gender Critical ideas and, if schools follow this ‘guidance’, it will cost many lives of trans kids. Gender Critical beliefs include the belief that sex is biological and immutable, people cannot change their sex and sex is distinct from gender-identity. This is fundamentally transphobic by denying the very existence of transgender people at all. Before diving into details, I ask that you read at least the summary and then use talking points from my template response at the end to write to your MP, school, and also contact the government's consultation on this guidance. The official consultation finishes near the start of March 2024 so please submit a response soon.
TL;DR: The main problems with this guidance are:
That schools do not have a “general duty to allow a child to socially transition”, by for example changing a child’s name and/or pronouns used.
“Parents should not be excluded from decisions taken by a school or college relating to requests for a child to socially transition”.
Throughout the guidance, there are a lot of Gender Critical opinions being stated, using language such as “ has been linked to gender identity ideology, the belief that a person can have a ‘gender’, , that is different to their biological sex. This is a contested belief.” This language is trying to suggest that the basic existence of transgender people is a contested belief.
The Truth.
Social transition, where adults close to the child/youth affirm their gender is known to be hugely beneficial, even acceptance & use of correct pronouns from one significant adult resulted in 39% lower odds of attempting suicide.
Across the population, transgender adolescents reported abuse rates nearly double that of their comparable cisgender heterosexual peers. Forcing the school to ‘out’ transgender adolescents to their parents drastically increases that child’s chances of being subjected to abuse.
It is well understood by most leading scientists in relevant fields that gender exists, and is separate to biological sex. Plus, biological sex is not a binary, and is not immutable, many aspects of it can be changed with medical intervention. This intervention has also proven to be very effective in helping people with gender dysphoria.
The following template letter is intended for parents to send to the head teachers of their children’s schools. Of course, you are free to modify it however you would like and it is only provided as a suggestion. Please remove or change parts in angle brackets <> as these are intended for things specific to you.
Dear <head teacher's name>,
I am writing to express my concern about the recent government guidance for schools on “gender questioning” children. The guidance is transphobic all the way through and will cost lives. Transgender children deserve to be affirmed and treated with respect, enabling them to learn and grow just like any other child.
Specifically, there are two particularly dangerous parts to the guidance. The forced outing of transgender children to their parents, and the declaration that schools do not have a general duty to “allow” a child to socially transition.
Firstly, affirming a child during their social transition by using their pronouns is suicide prevention. Studies have shown reduced rates of suicide attempts in transgender young people when they are affirmed in their gender. If a young person has their pronouns respected by even one significant adult in their life attempted suicide rates are reduced by 39%. (ref: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog/acceptance-of-transgender-and-nonbinary-youth-from-adults-and-peers-associated-with-significantly-lower-rates-of-attempting-suicide/). For many transgender children with unsupportive or transphobic families, school is often the only place that can provide this affirmation of their identity.
The school’s duty of care to children and young people includes taking reasonable steps to protect them from foreseeable risks, including physical and emotional harm. Clearly these suicide statistics constitute foreseeable risks of actual harm to children if their gender identity is not respected and correct pronouns are not used. People at the school using the correct pronouns would be considered “reasonable steps” to prevent this harm. Please ensure your school never contributes to these preventable deaths of young people. You must reject this government guidance.
Secondly, the guidance takes a “parent first” approach. It should be obvious that the main person needing protection is the child themselves. Forcibly outing anyone to anyone else is never ok. Especially when that person is a child and you're outing them to those who have the most power to hurt the child.
In a study, 43% of transgender and non-binary people have suffered abuse from family members (ref: https://galop.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Galop-LGBT-Experiences-of-Abuse-from-Family-Members.pdf ). Often the only way to keep safe is for the transgender or non-binary young person to remain closeted and keep their identity a secret from the rest of their family.
Transgender adolescents reported abuse rates of nearly double that of their cisgender heterosexual peers. (ref: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8344346/ ). These rates are for the general transgender population, the abuse itself will be very skewed towards parents who are transphobic abusing their transgender adolescents.
The decision of when and how the young person wants to inform their parents, must stay with the child, for their safety. Please ensure your school remains a safe place for all our children and doesn't subject them to the cruel and dangerous practice of forcibly outing them. Taking child-first approach would be more in line with the guidance regarding teenage pregnancy: schools are not obliged to report a pregnancy to the young person’s parents but rather the young person is encouraged to inform their parents themselves (https://www.pathwayslearningcentre.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Teenage-Pregnancy-Guidance-for-Schools.pdf)
The government has an open consultation on this guidance that ends soon, at the beginning of March. Please add your response in the consultation as to why your school will not be following the guidance, specifically that it will cost lives and subject children to abuse that could have been prevented. It can be found at https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/
<optional extra paragraph, only include if you are willing to discuss further with the head teacher>
If you would like to discuss this matter further, or look at the other problematic areas of the guidance, please let me know and I will be happy to provide further information and evidence, either in person or in writing.
<end extra paragraph>
I hope for a future where all children are provided equal opportunities to learn and grow no matter their gender identity.
Respectfully,
<Sign your name here>
Guidance document itself: Gender Questioning Children - non-statutory guidance
Gov consultation: https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/
Gov press release: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/parent-first-approach-at-the-core-of-new-guidance-on-gender-questioning-children
Stonewall advice for fighting this guidance: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/our-work/campaigns/support-trans-youth-respond-government-consultation
Ah, is that what the pandemic was. Unsanitized database inputs?
The grim reaper was initially illustrated as doing a mundane, regular job that everyone has seen done - a reaper swings his scythe and the hay falls, just as easy as people fall as death swings. Now many people who have never been to a farm only know the scythe as the weapon of Death personified, and farmers in most places of the world don't even use them anymore.
Imagine Death personified as someone doing a modern regular, mundane job. Imagine thinking "hoo boy, this is it for me. The Grim Bin Man is coming to collect, hauling my sorry soul into the trash compactor of his great eternal garbage truck."
What an incredible conversion!
And here's my attempt. It's the first story I've put on here, hope you like it.
The first sign something read wrong was the fuel pressure warning light. Pressure was dropping in the main tanks.
"Stax, the fuel pressure is dropping!" Shouted the pilot to the captain. Both were aliens from very dangerous death worlds, so every action was planned and contingencies planned. This was evolved into their species because failure to do so in their planet was generally fatal.
"We filled up at the last port." Freya, one of the ships humans informed the captain. She handled logistics and had overseen the purchase of fuel herself.
The captain, remained calm as they had a contingency for low fuel pressure, and that was to check the levels, and re pressurise the tanks. They were only staying on the same planet to sell the rest of their cargo on a different continent. Their plans included another refill stop if needed there.
"Follow the procedure. What are the current levels, Tovrio?".
The pilot checked the dials, but each time the number dropped so they couldn't get a reading.
This was something that wasn't planned for. They were actively losing fuel so fast they wouldn't make it to the next stop.
The pilot started to panic and yelled something incoherent at the captain. At this point, George the only other human on board walked in and asked what the fuss was. Add they were out of contingencies the captain told him what the situation was, then told them all what an honour it had been to fly with them all.
"Wait, you're giving up?!" Was the incredulous response. "Let me see what the problem is." And marched off. The captain made a final announcement telling the test of the alien crew that they were out of contingency plans and that they were losing fuel and wouldn't make it to their destination.
Freya had worked with a human logistics company back on Earth and this was not a dire emergency. Nothing that bad happened ever. She had no idea of course of the relative safety of Earth. Here there were many places where you couldn't even breath the air, and every creature was so heightened in their competitive survival instinct that they could kill you in an instant.
However, not knowing these details did the Humans a favour. George had already found the problem, sabotage by bots planted in the fuel that had gathered together and ruptured the tank after they'd left (knowing that the final checks would be done and they would be discovered if they activated before).
There was no official replacement and you needed to empty the tank before welding. So he got creative and solved the problem with some spare rubber from the bedding and air tight tape which wouldn't survive contact with the fuel but he only stuck it to the rubber.
Having stabilised the immediate problem, he informed Freya who was by then the only coherent person on the bridge. She took over flight controls and guided them gently to am unplanned stop where she'd heard fuel and propper repairs were available.
Captain Stax found this unbelievable. Thinking on their feet was not a strong point and they just stared in disbelief as the Homans just continued in the face of near certain death. Then they nearly collapsed when the problems had been solved. Both humans got a special recognition from the merchant fleet admiral and a new contingency of always having a human on board was formed.
Thus humans became one of the most well travelled species due to their adaptability and creativity in difficult situations.
Alternate take to the "earth is a death world". What if earth is one of the safest worlds out there?
This could cause the aliens to all have an extremely organised and well planned nature. If something isn't fully planned with contingencies, they just don't survive.
Humans ability to 'just wing it' is unusual and a little concerning. Similarly the human nature to attempt to make friends with local creatures is seen as near suicide to the aliens.
Story to come, just wanted to get the concept written and remembered.