Okay so I’m actually insane about lycanwing Hiccup. I imagine he gets distracted by shiny objects and then gets embarrassed when people point it out
Usual stuff first, maybe it was a Gotham rogue with science, perhaps somebody external with magic; doesn't matter much. Except this wasn't an attack on Batman, it was meant for Bruce Wayne...meaning the manor was attacked.
First, the JL get rid of the threat, and then find the rest of the family. Diana finds Dick, he's a very small baby, maybe even months old, and he hangs from a chandelier.
While everyone freaks out about how he got there, Oliver, who remembers seeing Dick's first gala stunt, deduces he probably shrunk down until he was that age, and either an eight or seven old Dick was the one to climb there.
The ones who don't stay babying baby Dick and taking pics, look for Bruce. This has happened before, so they are betting on two options: a recently traumatized eight-year-old, or younger and looking for his parents. Hal bets on an angry teenager Bruce because it would be hilarious.
What they don't expect to find, is a twenty-something Alfred Pennyworth with Bruce on his hips and in a state of absolute panic. Because he is the youngest intelligence agent Britain has seen in a while, he can tell something is very wrong, and will not reason with these weird people in Wayne Manor for the life of him.
Hal tries to approach him, having apparently not learned his lesson of not judging someone's capabilities just because they don't have magic, powers or a ring, from Batman. Agent A has him immobilized on the ground in three seconds flat, Bruce on his hip and all.
Hal then understands this young man raised Batman after all.
Superman is ready for when he inevitably asks where the Waynes are, he's had this conversation with little Bruce before, and it was actually Alfred himself who advised him how to. Clark is not ready for Alfred to ask for his father, the previous butler who would indeed know what's going on, because what do you say to that? It doesn't help that Bruce is absolutely not letting go of Alfred, the only person he recognizes there.
It's not Batman's business, it's Bruce Wayne's business, so the GCPD does get there. The JL don't know what to do when instead of being understanding and helping out, Jim Gordon *pales*. "You're telling me...a young Alfred Pennyworth-an on edge young Alfred Pennyworth, is in there...nope, not in a million years, I remember the Martha incident" no one asks what he means.
It takes a retired Harvey Bullock to come down grunting to calm the Brit down a bit, he tells him to let them help out rather harshly, and the JL thinks Gordon fucked up by calling this man: But Alfred does back down then, the issue getting resolved after that.
Just, de-aged Alfred, an intelligence Agent, ready to take down the freaks (Justice League, heroes of the world) to make sure they don't get close to Thomas and Martha's kid (Batman, founder of the league)
Ngl I lost count of how many of these I've reblogged today... eh it's fine
Bruce: Congratulations, Jason! You’re the first of my kids to graduate college!
Dick: Yeah, first and only one for all eternity!
Bruce: *Ignoring Dick by sheer willpower* Anyway, what are you planning to do next?
Jason: I think I’m going to continue my education in English Lit.
Bruce: *nervously* Great. You’ll get a Master’s Degree, right?
Jason: …
Bruce: …right?
Jason: Actually, I’m going for a PhD.
Bruce: This is a terrible joke. You’re over the supervillainy, right, Jay?
Jason: Look, my application to GothamU’s PhD program was accepted!
Bruce: No child! Of mine! Will get! A PhD!!!
Jason: I’m hoping to be a literature professor at GothamU, if I survive long enough.
Bruce: *screams incoherently*
Dick: I think you broke him.
@mbirnsings-71
dadwave
Oh you KNOW swapped!Soundwave lets his kids get away with ANYTHINGGG nobody's safe 🙏
oh yes he does
Kon... run
Gotta say I love me some timkon
Damian, visibly distressed: Has Grayson always had a habit of running headlong into certain death?
Tim: Well sometimes he walks. Occasionally, he shuffles. Periodically, he ambles.
Jason: Once, I'm pretty sure I saw him trip into certain death.
Headcanon that the bats are the only people in Gotham who don’t know about Joker Junior.
The only people who know JJ’s identity are Bruce, Barbara, Jim Gordon, Joker himself, and Harley Quinn. Tim made Bruce promise not to tell Dick, and that continued when Jason came back, with him not wanting to be one of the older man’s triggers. The trend followed with Duke, Cass, Steph, and Damian, with him being more and more certain that if he told them, they would hate him.
Nothing lasts forever, though, and the batkids soon notice how differently Gotham treats Red Robin.
Rogues like Riddler, Harley, and Poison Ivy refrain from hurting him too much. Seasoned thugs quickly take away any electrocution devices from the newer ones, stating that “we don’t electrocute Red Robin”. When it comes to RR, Gotham’s citizens can get very peeved with the Bat.
The kids also notice the odd closeness between Jim, Babs, and Tim. Hell, there are times where they invite the older man to dinner and he goes off to whisper with Tim. The one time someone tried to subtly follow them, Babs stopped them in their tracks.
Everything comes to ahead when Dick goes deep into the bat computer archives for a case he assumes is tied to another. And lo and behold, he finds something titled Junior. He assumes that this is about a child villain and is curious, as the date tells him this happened while he was off in Bludhaven so many years ago.
It’s not.
He calls in the other bats(Tim is somewhere else) and they read through the files and watch the videos. God, the videos.
Dick is angry. Him and his siblings are fuming. Everything comes together and makes so much sense.
How some Gotham citizens treat RR differently. How Jim Gordon always makes sure RR is okay. How Babs knows how to calm Tim down better than anyone else. How Bruce always looks so guilty when he looks at Tim, a scarily similar look as the one he gives to Jason.
Their brother had been keepinh this secret for years, probably because he didn’t want them to hate them(Jason shakes his head furiously. “Stupid kid”.)
When Tim comes home, lo and behold with Babs, he immediately clocks onto their thoughts and makes a break for it. Babs blocks the door for everyone else. She says nothing.
Thats as far as I got.
This is actually what the high guard has been doing for the 50 cycles I know this. And Starscream hates losing, but Soundwave can’t be bothered to do anything about that 😒 he’s like a wine mom rn, the way he’s babysitting the whole high guard too. He doesn't really play it with them cuz . It’ll be too easy with his ability, and he’d have to keep hearing everyone argue about who is what
Bruce: A memo from the Justice League.
Bruce, reading from a paper: Due to elevating cursing from the other heroes that we believe is coming from batfamily, we now are changing the way things are phrased.
Bruce, to Jason: “Ask me if I give a fuck” will be now “Of course I’m concerned.”
Jason:
Bruce, to Tim: “Who gives a shit?” is now “I wasn’t involved in that.”
Tim: *nods*
Bruce, to Stephanie: “Kiss my ass” is now “I don’t think you understand.”
Stephanie: Okay.
Bruce, to Dick: “Suck my dick” is now “Have a nice day.”
Dick:
Bruce, to Damian: And finally “Who the hell died and made you boss?” is now “You want me to take care of this?”
Damian: Yes, Father.
Duke: Bruce, you want me to write a reply email from you about this?
Bruce: Yes, please reply: “To the Justice League, of course I’m concerned. You want me to take care of this? While I wasn’t involved in that, I feel you should reverse these changes as I don’t think you understand. Have a nice day.”
The batkids: *snickering*
Alfred: That’s my boy.
Selina: I love you.