Ds29gurl2 - Hyper Fixation? What Hyper Fixation?

Seeing all these sadistic m*ther f*ckers get theirs, cleansed my soul, watered my garden and cleared my skin.

I finished season 2 in one day and it was an awesome time!

I'm a small human, I don't know why I need to make these big decisions.

My sexual awakening

Just saw the new installment of Scream '23, and I am still in love with this murderous bitch. Lord, I can't help that my heart starts to beat faster when I hear his voice. I remember sneak watching this for the first time (bc of religious, immigrant parents) and falling head over heels for this man. I credit him to being the start of my slasher fetish. Sorry not sorry XD.

Who was yours?

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ― Haruki Murakami

The woman you are becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces, and material things. Choose her over everything.

The House on Mango Street was the first book that put what I wanted when I grew up into words. I hyperfixated on the shoes especially. They symbolize Esperanza's sexuality, and then her inner conflict between that sexuality and her desire for independence. I had similar struggles, particularly when I was 15. Quinces are a huge event in a Cuban girls life. Everyone in the extended family comes to ogle at the garish decorations while talking smack about the girl's dress and body in between bites of ropa vieja and croquetas. At the end, they exchange the little girl shoes she has for a high heel. Symbolizing her "ascension" into womanhood. This terrified me. I was still growing into my body. My feet still clumsy and my hands too small to hold onto to the ridiculous bouffant skirt of the dress which would inevitably lead me to trip even more in front of judging relatives. More than anything, I wasn't ready to be a woman, even symbolically. The questions of when I would get married, have children, would increase in their seriousness as they did for my first cousin. Under this pressure, she then had her baby at 17 with a man who constantly cheats on her to this day. They will tell me to go to university so I can find an educated man. Not to worry about about an education from myself. That I already study/read too much and men don't want overly smart women. This was the picture I had of "becoming a woman" since I transitioned from baby to child shoes. I told everyone the Christmas before my Quince in September that I would not be having one. The adults laughed and my cousins jeered at me at the kids table thinking I was loca and "antisocial". My mother, told me it would be my choice, but that the family would like to join me in this joyous occasion. I was shaking beneath their eyes, but again I said I did not want one. As September drew closer, the questions for when the invites were going out started to grow numerous. I again told them I would not be doing a quince. My aunt cried and called me selfish. That she never had a daughter, only sons, and she wanted to help me plan it. For the first time in my 15 years, I refused to give in. No amount of crocodile tears would get me to budge. I'm glad I did. It was the first step in MY path to becoming a woman. No high heels needed. Now, I keep my heelless "child shoes" near my bed in my own apartment where I live alone with my dog. Comfortable and free.

YOU decide what it means to be woman. Do not let anyone and their outdated traditions tell you what to do.

Leave my crush on Spock to the side

Another more serious note on this week's SNW episode. I KNEW this shit was going to happen when La'an saw Jim. They are going to keep hurting her until she leaves the Enterprise. I mean Jim is going to be captain. I couldn't be there either. As for Blondie and the Adulterer, shame on them both. Spock got his just desserts for cheating on T'Pring and Christine's inevitable pining for him is also her comeuppance. Like HOW are you going to steal another woman's man and then say IF I HAVE TO LEAVE YOU SO BE IT. Like bitch, wtf is wrong with you? You really go through all that just to not take the relationship seriously? TALK to him about this, be like "yeah I'm leaving but I will contact you the whole three months I am there, I will be back soon. I love you" SOMETHING! They are both the most emotionally immature assholes I have ever seen in my life. When they were playing chess and she was deflecting, I FUCKING KNEEEEWW that she was not going to be serious in committing and that this whole "relationship" was going to come crashing down because both are so annoyingly afraid of their own feelings. I just-ARGH!

NOBODY @ me about them MAkINg MIsTAKes, if it was you ds29gurl, you would cheat with Spock too.

Uh no, I have been in relationships and NEVER IN MY LIFE have I cheated. Attraction is no excuse for infidelity, LOOKING AT YOU TOO JIM, it is never a MISTAKE!

me in the theatre during this scene

Earth 42 Miles Morales could ruin my life, and I would thank him

Dios mio ayudame 🥵 

“In front of my mother and my sister, I pretend love is cheap and vulgar. I act like it’s a sin–I pretend that love is for women on a dark path. But at night I dream of a love so heavy it makes my spine throb. I dream up a lover who makes love like he is separating salt from water.”

― Salma Deera

BIG BROTHER IN THE HOUSE!

SYBOK IS HERE, STONN IS HERE, EVERYBODY UP IN THIS BITCH OF MY FUCKING GOOOOODDDDD. I WAS SCREAMING THIS ENTIRE EPISODE. Also, sorry Christine I feel for you, though Spock hesitated for a sec when T'Pring said he could not have feelings for you, have hope (though of course TOS won't allow that). As for T'Pring I am sorry I doubted your devotion to Spock, twice, my bad Vulcan baddie. I am conflicted, both are awesome for Spock in my humble opinion. ANYWAYS, can't wait til next weeks episode, I HAVE to see the full story behind Sybok.