Lily: You Really Shouldn't Be Using A Straw. 

James: WHY WOULD YOU KILL HIM HE COULD HAVE HAD A FAMILY!

Sirius: I SWEAR I DIDN’T MEAN TO IT WAS A MISTAKE!

James: THINK OF HIS KIDS! THINK OF HIS  FRIENDS!

Sirius: I SWEAR I MEANT NO HARM!!!

Remus:

Remus: James…

Remus: It… it was just an ant.

Ok but Remus and Lily sipping tea and watching James and Sirius do the stupidest shit possible (it was completely their idea but no one needs to know that)

one thing about me is if a fic includes dorlene, i'll read it

James: Mom can you stop picking me up from Hogwarts?

Effie, tearing up, thinking he’s embarrassed: Oh, okay.

James: Wait no it’s not like that!

James: It’s just… Marlene says things that make me very uncomfortable when she sees you.

guys its ok, he's going through his midlife crisis 🤭

11 years old James: I drink to forget, but I always remember

Fleamont: You're drinking apple juice buddy

“I don’t read that much anymore”

(the gay wizards on ao3 side eye me)

Remus: So what’s for dinner? 

Sirius: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise! 

Remus: … 

Remus: Is it soup? 

Sirius: I soup-pose it could be! *winks* 

Remus: Please, enough with the soup puns! 

Sirius: Wow, you’re soup-per mean. 

Remus: STOP! 

*one hour later* 

Remus: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!

marauders fandom missed the opportunity to call marylily lary

save me fictional lesbians save me (they in fact won't save me) (they will probably make things worse) (they wil literally break my heart forever and leave me pick up the pieces for the rest of my life)

Harry: Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen? 

Remus: Neither. 

Remus: Because it's twelve dumbass child

Sirius: rEMUS WE TALKED ABOUT THIS