Ok Y’all… I Have Some Thoughts…

Ying Lei + ZYC and ZYZ

21. On a place of insecurity

(Ying Lei needs some love in this fandom ♥️)

You're so right, Ying Lei deserves ALL the love!

Seeing Zhao Yuanzhou and Zhou Yichen being disgustingly happy together doesn't get any easier, even with the passage of time. Ying Lei had kind of hoped it would: that he'd get used to them being sappy, and coincidentally going to bed at the same time, and then arriving at breakfast at the same time as well, looking equally sleep-deprived.

It's not that he doesn't want his friends to be happy! They deserve all the happiness after what life has been throwing at them. It's just that Ying Lei kind of wishes he had that, too. He stares into his cup of wine. The others have long gone to bed, and it's really no fun drinking alone, but as long as he doesn't finish this cup he doesn't have to go to bed yet. If he doesn't finish the wine he does not have to finish the empty darkness of his room, and lie awake in the night while his mind fills the emptiness with too many thoughts.

It's trying to do so even now, and Ying Lei has to shake his head to dislodge the thoughts that are trying to drag him down. Perhaps that's why he doesn't notice until it's too late.

Another pair of wine cups appears to his left in a familiar swirl of red energy, and someone sets down a new bottle of wine to his right. Zhou Yichen-daren sits down across the table, and the inevitable demonic presence that follows him elegantly flops down onto the cushion next to Ying Lei. He doesn't even bother to sit upright, and Ying Lei can practically hear his grandfather berating him. Apparently Zhao Yuanzhou cannot, because he leans his shoulder against Ying Lei's and reaches for the wine.

"Drinking alone isn't good for you, little mountain god," he purrs, and pours all three of them a drink. Ying Lei loses his tongue somewhere between feeling the demon's warmth even through his mountain clothes and the way the demon's thin robes are barely being held together by a single ruby-and-gold clasp at his throat.

Ying Lei decides that the sensible thing to do is to ignore him. Across the table Zhou Yichen is staring at him a little too intently, a knowing smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He is dressed at least a little more decently, which is to say: he's not showing any skin. What he is wearing, however, is most definitely a cloak that belongs to a certain great demon, over what appears to be his sleeping clothes… "Xiao Zhuo-daren, I thought you… both of you went to bed earlier. Is there something wrong?"

"Hmm, very wrong," The demon practically purrs as he hands Ying Lei his cup. Ying Lei looks at him and then remembers he was ignoring him and turns back to Zhou Yichen. He is just in time to see him blink away a confused look.

"Our friend seemed lonely," is all the explanation Zhuo-daren offers. "So we decided to make sure you're not," the demon adds. He raises his cup in a toast, and when Zhuo Yichen joins in Ying Lei can't very well leave them hanging.

"To good company," the demon toasts, and they drink deeply. It suddenly occurs to Ying Lei that Zhuo-daren's ... boyfriend? His partner? Zhou Yichen's demon is leaning against Ying Lei, barely dressed, entirely indecent, and Ying Lei is letting it happen. He's also pathetically grateful for the company, and he'd rather the demon didn't move, but he also doesn't want to offend Zhuo-daren–

Someone lightly flicks a finger against his forehead, and Ying Lei is thrown back into the present. "Really, little mountain god, someone like you shouldn't get drunk so easily," the demon teases. He moves to steal Ying Lei's cup as well, but Ying Lei isn't about to let him steal the one thing he can rely on for company. He moves the cup to his far hand and holds it out of the great demon's reach. Zhao Yuanzhou makes a playful grab for it anyway, and for a moment too long Ying Lei is distracted by Zhuo Yichen's smile at their antics. Then he overbalances, and falls over sideways, and the demon leaning against him falls over with him.

The floor is not so far, and there is a cushion left there from when Bai Jiu was sitting on his other side during dinner. He lands softly enough, and even manages to save the wine– and then Zhao Yuanzhou plants an arm on either side of his head, catching himself and looming dangerously close over Ying Lei.

There is an infuriating smile on the demon's face, and he doesn't move at all, so Ying Lei can only lie there, one arm outstretched to hold his cup, the rest of him trapped under the warm weight of a demon. From somewhere above them, Zhou Yichen sighs. "Is this what you meant when you said you wanted to discuss our proposition, you great monkey?" Ying Lei can hear the eye roll that accompanies his words, and he has a front row view of the demon pouting, winking at Ying Lei, and then looking at Zhou Yichen all pouty again– without getting up from where he is practically sitting on top of Ying Lei. Ying Lei wonders what proposition they are talking about.

"Xiao Zhou-daren, sometimes you have to go with the flow! If life gives you an opportunity you should take hold of it with both hands and not let go."

Very carefully, Ying Lei sets down the cup of wine on the floor above his head. With his free hand he starts to lever himself up, fully expecting Zhao Yuanzhou to move out of his way. He should have known better than to expect the demon to behave in any way predictably, for Zhao Yuanzhou does not move an inch. He only smirks wider when Ying Lei tries to sit up and comes to within an inch of those smiling lips before realizing the demon's play.

"O- opportunity?"

"Yes," Ying Lei can feel the breath of that word touch his own lips, and shivers. Zhao Yuanzhou's smile is all teeth now, it is hard to look away. "We thought you seemed… a little too alone. And when we saw you watching us leave this evening we thought: perhaps he could keep us company."

There is something oddly specific about the way he emphasizes that Ying Lei could keep them company. Not his friends coming to drink with him, no: he, Ying Lei, join… them?

"Hah?" the thought refuses to make sense, but the demon only blinks at him, toothy smiley unchanged: dangerous and tempting. "But… aren't you two…?" It seems rude to even say the words, that his friends are sleeping together, living together, practically married except for some paperwork.

"Yes," both of his friends chorus at the same time.

"But then why…"

"Why not?" Zhao Yuanzhou grins. "Only if you're interested, of course," Zhou Yichen adds, ever considerate. "This isn't about us." Ying Lei has so many questions right now, he doesn't even know where to start. He settles for a lame: "I don't' get it," and immediately feels like hiding in a mountain cave for a few years because of how stupid that sounds.

"Allow me to show you," Zhao Yuanzhou grins, and doesn't wait for permission. He closes the small gap between them, and wraps a warm hand around Ying Lei's chin. His lips are hot against his own. Ying Lei gasps, and the great demon uses that invitation to invade his mouth, licking and tasting and stealing his breath–

Then he leans back, and he's still wearing that same smirk. Panic wells up in Ying Lei and he looks towards Zhou Yichen across the table– only he is gone, his seat empty. The warm fingers on his chin turn his face back to Zhao Yuanzhou, and then further to the other side, where Zhou Yichen has sat down next to them. Ying Lei doesn't get the time to worry about kissing Xiao Zhuo-daren's boyfriend-demon-something. Zhao Yuanzhou presents Ying Lei to Zhou Yichen, and Zhou Yichen smiles and wraps a hand around YIng Lei's neck. His hand is cold, or perhaps it only seems that way because Ying Lei must be blushing bright red, and he pulls him close. Zhao Yuanzhou sits back up to allow him space, and Ying Lei moves as if in a dream. Zhou Yichen's kiss is entirely different: gentle and questioning, lips moving together as if partners in a dance. His hand is solid as stone, unwavering and undoubting, and Ying Lei feels like a small stone caught between two great rivers. Xiao Zhuo's kiss steals his breath in an entirely different way, and when he finally comes up for air two pairs of eyes are looking at him expectantly.

So. If I try to talk abt everything this show made me feel at once it would be a whole book. Hence: we’re breaking it down. First stop: Hu-min and Hyeontak.

I’m a big fan of the webtoon and I’m gonna do a little compare/contrast at the end but first I wanna focus on solely material from the show. Slight background for those who don’t know though, Go Hyeontak (Alex/GoGo) and Park Humin (Ben/Big Ben) are THE ultimate BROTP in the webtoon so I did come into this rly pulling for the show to keep that element of their relationship, and I think for the most pert they delivered.

The scene that sets the tone: Their mutual trust.

First instance that made me go “hell yes this is gonna be good” is during Ep. 2 (32:12 ish) where Gotak and Juntae have been fighting and Baku enters. Gotak is curled up in a defensive fetal position on the ground but the *second* he hears Baku’s voice echo through the tunnel he relaxes. Full on slumps down, drops his arms, and just lays there, it almost looks instinctive. He knows as long as Humin is around he’s safe. It’s such a small thing and so far I haven’t seen any reactors point it out which is understandable. But the fact that this is the first scene that they’re in together, essentially their first interaction, albeit slightly indirect, and the camera is purposefully not on the faces of the thugs surrounding Gotak (although we do hear them voice their fear) but on Hyeontak’s absolute relief in Baku’s presence I think not only sets the tone for their relationship (in fact I believe this is arguably the most important scene btw them) but also very demonstrative of how they want us to view Humin’s character. [I have to clue how to do GIFs but I need someone to do this scene PLS TT]

Yes he’s coming in guns blazing, but our immediate focus isn’t supposed to be the terror of his adversaries, but instead the release from his friend. It immediately sets him up as someone who protects those close to him. He isn’t violent for the sake of violence, he has a purpose, and that is preserving the things precious to him. In this case, his platonic male-wife Gotak. This is making me realize I’m gonna do individual character analysis for everybody lol.

But while Baku is concerned for Gotak, he obviously trusts him enough to have handled himself, even though he’s “weaker” than Humin which I really appreciate.

So the second tenant in their relationship: They way they keep each other in check.

At the beginning of ep. 3 we see Hyeontak begin to apologize to Sieun without any prompting, but it’s clearly a bit hesitant and he seems unwilling to fully admit he was in the wrong/crossed the line (haha I’m so funny). Which is when Baku steps in and “forces” him into a bow and begins to “help” Gotak apologize to Sieun while also essentially trying to pull Gotak out of potential hot water by saying ‘ah yk he’s a bit dumb so pls forgive him’. Later after they’re called into the office together we see Baku again prompting an awkward Gotak to give a much more genuine apology to Sieun. The whole interaction very much implied to me that Baku and Gotak had a whole convo abt how he was going to apologize and what he would say which I love. Mom friend Baku said ‘apologize to this nice young man’. They even simultaneously provoke but also regulate one another in the principles office.

While Baku seems to help Hyeontak with his quick temper, Gotak seems to help him reign in his….exuberant social skills. We see this several times: most notably with Sieun. first when Gotak interrupts Baku messing w/ Sieun’s hair, pulling him away and saying “know when to stop” (ep. 3 10:34), and the second in ep. 5 @ 13:40 when Baku slides into Sieun while he’s studying. Gotak comes in behind and actually kicks Baku (who retaliates ofc) to get him off Sieun a bit and then says “You’re bothering Sieun again, you punk”. The fact that it’s clearly a consistent pattern for Gotak to help regulate Baku (someone who clearly gets excited and while being emotionally intelligent, either willfully ignores or misses some social cues) is extremely endearing to me.

In a slightly more serious tone, later in ep. 5 (31:56) during a conversation with Sieun, Hyeontak says that this isn’t the first time Humin has gotten into a fight and “when he gets back, I’ll knock some sense into him”. Of course it’s obvious Gotak could never beat Humin in a true fight yet Gotak is absolutely assured that he’ll be able to get Baku to listen, implying to me that they’ve done this dance before, and Baku truly does hear what Gotak has to say.Hence even small phrases like this really emphasize how much Baku respects and appreciates Gotak. The king of Eunjang High, this incredibly powerful kid, truly listens to his friend.

The most powerful example of this is probably ep 7 starting abt 4 min in, where Baku is choking a Union member who was involved in severely beating Gotak and Juntae. Gotak immediately rushes over and begins pulling on Humin’s arm, yelling at him to stop and that he’s done enough. Unfortunately, Baku is clearly out of it and barely even seems to register Gotak’s presence. This scene may also be the first time we see Hyeontak refer to him as “Humin” rather than Baku. Eventually Baku is snapped out of it by Juntae coming over with news about Sieun, so while Gotak isn’t the one to ultimately get through to Baku, I think the scene is another important sign of their devotion to one another. Baku, when he does notice Hyeontak is clearly angry that he’s trying to stop him, even yelling “let go of me asshole”.

In many shows the characters next move would be to bodily throw their friend away. Yet even in the midst of this rage/disassociation, Baku doesn’t lay a hand on Gotak, proving that Gotak’s blind trust in getting all up in the business of his raging friend was warranted. There is no universe where Baku forgets himself and lays a serious hand on Hyeontak.

The idea of Baku’s hands on Hyeontak brings me to point three: The clinginess

There are way too many example scenes for me to go through and time-stamp all of them, ya’ll will have to look yourselves. But in 9/10 scenes that these two are together, Baku is touching Gotak in some way. Most commonly it’s an arm around the shoulder (see gif above lol). But they’re also shown to be constantly roughhousing, and at one point (ok I am time-stamping this bc it’s so specific: ep. 5 12:50 ish) Gotak almost seems to be playing with Baku’s hand that’s hanging over his shoulder. Now Baku is clearly an affectionate person, he spends a significant amount of time hanging off of Juntae and Sieun as well (don’t even get me started on him gently caressing Juntae’s face during ep 7) it does seem particularly pronounced with Gotak.

In fact, during my watch through notes (it was serious for me y’all) I legit wrote: “The way Humin has an arm around Hyeontak at all times, its rly serious for this man. Must tough beside or die”. And that was only by ep. 3 lol. IDK as someone who is also a very touchy person, specifically w/ my bff, this rly resonated with me. The actors just did such a great job making it feel so natural. Ofc Baku has his arm around Gotak, this is how they always are. Gotak never even stumbles or resists when Baku reaches out for him, he just molds right into him and I love it sm

*Clicks to Powerpoint slide number four*: The way they know everything abt e/o

Alright I admit, this one is a bit of a filler section, but tbh I just rly wanted to talk abt the scene where Gotak recognizes Baku’s underwear (ep 6 23:55) bc what-

Like I ADORE my bestie. We’re essentially married. We have a tally going of people who’ve asked it we’re gay for e/o. And yet. AND YET! I would not recognize her underwear?

Which leaves us with two options: either Gotak is just routinely seeing his bros underwear (and this also means Baku is unironically wearing tiger briefs)? I mean tbf idk how guys do friendship this could be par for the course.

or he bought Humin the underwear as a gag gift, and then Baku proceeds to legit wear them. Both options are absolutely hilarious and I love any and all implications of this scene.

I don’t even wanna know why the hell Baku has his underwear just hanging on the wall

But on a slightly more serious note, earlier in the same episode at around 8:52, Gotak tells the other two boys that Baku used to stay at his house whenever his dad got drunk. Couple that with how completely unsurprised Hyeontak is with his father’s behavior the entire scene, and it becomes obvious that Gotak knows all about Humin’s struggles with his dad. In fact, at another point (I’m not looking for this time-stamp sry) Gotak reveals that he knows Humin and Baekjin were childhood friends, so Baku clearly has no reservations telling Gotak about all the painful parts of his past.

Of course, throughout the plot of the show Baku does hide things from Gotak and even outright lies about where he’s going on a few occasions, but the fact that Hyeontak seems only slightly suspicious and then accepts his answers really seems to affirm the idea that they’re generally completely transparent with one another or maybe im reading too much into this

Yeah no I just love that they seem to know everything about each other, and that their trust goes beyond physical protection, but extends to faith that the other will protect their emotional wounds as well.

Speaking of protectiveness, our fifth discussion point: The way they’d kill for one another

Like they are INSANE about each other. Gotak consistently gets pissed when people imply that he’s Humin’s lackey. In the first confrontation we see Gotak have with Choi Hyoman, it can be easily interpreted as a hot headed kid pissed he’s getting called someone else’s henchman. But as we watch the show and get more and more context about them, I really don’t think that’s the reason he’s so upset. If Gotak is Baku’s lackey, than that means that Baku’s is the same as the Union people he’s fighting so hard against. I truly think that Gotak isn’t offended for himself (or at least not solely, Im sure that does sting the pride a bit), but more so upset about the implications for Baku’s honor. The idea that he would have or even need lackeys is unacceptable to Hyeontak, and he makes sure to set everyone straight.

While of course Hyeontak is protective of Humin and routinely gets into fights on his behalf, the real guard dog in this relationship is clearly Baku. That man does not mess around when it comes to Gotak, and everyone knows it. In fact, Baku’s absolute devotion to Gotak makes him a target for people trying to get at Baku. Unfortunately many of them fail to realize they’ve essentially signed their own death certificate.

In ep 4 during the confrontation btw Seongjae (?) and Gotak we learn (and see briefly in flashback 14:30) that Hyeontak has been greviously injured by him before, more on my opinion of this plot point in a Gotak centric post and at the beginning of ep 5, Baku elaborates on this in conversation with Sieun, explaining that Gotak used to be a taekwondo athlete, but had to quit after his knee was seriously injured “Because of hanging out with me” Baku says, which could mean it was either a targeted attack on Gotak to upset Humin, or simply a casualty of getting in a fight to help his bestie out. Either way, it’s clear that Baku felt, and still feels (by looked like he was abt to cry thinking abt it), responsible for Hyeontak’s injury.

I like to think the reason he showed up with such perfect timing in the underpass during ep. 2 is because he made Gotak download Life360 or some equivalent tracker

The most obvious instance of Baku’s mile wide protective streak for Hyeontak is when Baekjin sends guys to beat him up explicitly to get a reaction out of Humin. And what a reaction it was. I mean look at this:

That is the face of a man who is not messing around with the implication that u hurt his bestie/husband/soulmate etc. Baekjin was abt to become one with the lamp. He doesn’t even have confirmation that anything is wrong atp. All it took was a mere SUGGESTION that someone might have gone after Gotak and *boom*. True cinema right there.

I mean the look on his face in ep. 7 @ 3:50 when he sees Hyeontak (and Juntae) horribly beaten on the ground? A delicious mix of horror, disbelief, and absolute rage. Seriously, big props to the actor for his nuanced facial expressions the whole show. His frustration with the union and Baekjin finally exploding when he learns Hyeontak and Juntae are in danger (ep. 6 28:48 ish)? Like the fact that Hyeontak getting hurt is essentially he proverbial straw that broke his back? Scrumptious. And then ofc I’ve already mentioned how he goes absolutely apeshit on the guys who beat up his babies. I mean he literally takes a crowbar to the back of the head (at speed?!) and then immediately proceeds to punch through a motorcycle helmet. Hulk who? Baku doesn’t play when it comes to avenging his people (and ofc specifically Gotak).

Ofc I have to mention ep. 8 at minute 4:28 when Baku scolds Gotak for jumping rope bc “You’ve got bad knees already man” and then looks away with a face full of resigned guilt and regret. And Hyeontak just glances at him and sighs, with an expression that just so clearly says ‘I’ve told you before it wasn’t your fault, how long till you believe me idiot, I could never blame you for anything, you sweet stupid man stop worrying about me’. maybe that’s a bit much to interpret from his face but I believe in my powers of perception ok

Then we have later on in ep 8 during the big fight at 29:19, where Hyeontak can barely walk, and yet he’s going to challenge Baekjin, because Baku is still vulnerable on the ground, and like hell is he going to let the guy who’s been tormenting *his* Baku win.

Like this devotion just- I can’t handle it they make me wanna scream

We’ll finish of with a lighter idea for our final section: The fact that they fight like an old married couple

I mean seriously. In their first on screen exchange, Gotak asks Baku if he has hot sauce in his hair (ngl I though he pulled the red of nicely TT) and proceeds to crack himself up although that may have been the concussion

If they’re not calling each other names, you know something is wrong. The absolute epitome of “Bastard (affectionate)”. It’s even funnier because while they do occasionally use a playful insult with Juntae or Sieun, it’s much rarer. Like it really is just their version of pet names and I love that for them. I particularly love the scenes at ep 3 starting at minute 7 with the slap fight, the “all grown up? I’ve always been taller” from Gotak (which I find especially funny bc its not like he towers over Baku or anything) the unrelenting headlock from Baku that turns into what’s almost a protective hold when he spots Sieun and Juntae. Now ofc he’s exaggerating and acting over the top as he does, but at this point all he knows about them is the rumors about Sieun, and the fact that he was in a fight with Hyeontak and didn’t seem particularly receptive to the attempted apology. So I’m sure there was just a slight bit of apprehension, and although “are we under attack” sounds like a joke, he was most likely serious in the intention behind it. Idk I just find it sweet that the minute it stopped being a safe little bubble of ‘Baku and Gotak’ and there was a potential outside threat, he gets in this (overdramatic) defensive position *around* Gotak.

The constant jabs at e/o’s intelligence are perfection, and I, like everyone else (including Sieun! the baby smile hdjskfdhg) adore the scene in ep 3 around 16:20 when they’re just getting into it over Baku’s attempt to pick up girls lol

—————————————————————————————————

That’s all I have for an analysis solely using the show, now I’m gonna do a brief compare/contrast with the webtoon bc I’m a huge fan of it. I 100% recommend it to everyone who enjoyed the show. There are some big differences, so it’s not at all like you’re going through the same plot twice, and the friendships are genuinely some of my favorite in all media. And I mean books, movies, tv shows etc. This webtoon manages to do relationships so so well.

Since I’m recommending it and ik a lot of ppl who watched the show haven’t read it yet, I’m not going to be too in depth or spoilery here, just covering things you would already expect to happen after having watched the show, and some panels to emphasize my points.

[reminder that the Eng. translation changed some names, so Baku = Ben and Gotak = Alex]

WEBTOON Analysis:

So in the webtoon Gotak (who gets called GoGo by Baku and the others, one thing I truly mourn lol) and Baku are the ULTIMATE duo. There a a million fantastic friendships in the comic, but they consistently stand out. The show did keep a lot of that feeling, but if you go read the webtoon, expect it to be dialed up to 11. True husbands honestly

They’re also childhood friends, a plot point given to Baekjin and Baku in the show still don’t know how I feel abt that, and are essentially inseparable. The whole “teacher asks one where the other is” gig, except it even extends to their friends lol. One simply does not appear without the other

I mentioned earlier when talking abt the show that these two tend to keep each other in check, both physically and in terms of social blunders. This is also a trait present in the webtoon, with Gotak often apologizing for or managing Baku’s extreme dumbass energy, and Baku in turn curbs Gotak’s intense “fight first ask questions never” tendencies.

Several times while watching the show I thought to myself, “Biblically accurate Baku and GoGo”, specifically in relation to the entire premise of Gotak being Baku’s trigger. In the webtoon, “use Hyeontak to get to Baku” is a strategy employed by the Union several times, and Baku’s reaction is just as good as in the show. In fact I even have it written down in my watch notes: “Biblically accurate Gotak getting beat into a pulp”. Like the poor guy has a giant red target hanging over his head. Just like in the show however, he doesn’t care as long as he gets to stay by Baku and support him.

Baku’s reaction to seeing Gotak injured:

In more serious situations Gotak is Baku’s anchor in a similar way to what’s shown in ep. 7, albeit a bit more successfully lol. In fact, at one point another character narrating literally calls Gotak “Baku’s brakes”. He truly is the only one that can get through to Baku when the rage consumes him, especially if the reason Baku is turning someone into dust is because they went after Gotak.

Gotak is also shown to be a bit more actively supportive in the webtoon. In the show it’s Sieun that really leads the charge to bring Baku back, which I don’t mind in the context of the show, but webtoon!Gotak would never have let him walk away in the first place. The stress and pressure put upon Baku as a result of being the only one standing between the Union and Eunjang is a big focus in the webtoon, and smth Gotak takes seriously.

like in the show, GoGo goes after anyone talking about Baku behind his back, whether that be insults, skepticism about his fighting prowess, or insinuations that Gotak is his “minion”. He’s so serious about being the best possible support for Baku that he takes up boxing in an attempt to get stronger (which is where I assume they pulled the taekwondo background from for the show. I don’t mind at all that they did that, there wasn’t enough time for him to have a training arc in the middle lol).

The best part about them though is that they’re still the same old goofy, antagonistic besties/married couple they are in the show. The writers really did a great job keeping that levity and hope that characterizes the webtoon

There is one aspect of their relationship: Gotak’s knee injury, that is VASTLY different from the webtoon, but I want to keep this post relatively webtoon spoiler free, and also I’ve been working on this for abt 3 and 1/2 hours now….so that’ll be another post

Two things I've been thinking about with regard to Fangs of Fortune (it's so rare for me not to move on immediately from a drama; usually no matter how much I like it, the moment it's done so am I.)

(1) The bells in Jiu and ZYC's hair. The way this is a theme that runs throughout the entire narrative to culminate in them being clutched in Jiu's hand as he saves the world. But also - Jiu wore those bells because he was afraid he'd never be found - that hide and seek metaphor. And yet when he was lost in his own body due LL taking over (and significantly it's shown through his being locked in his hiding place, unable to come out), the team keeps searching and willing to die (YL does die!) for him to be found and to be brought back. And then at the end, the bell he wore in his hair in hope of being found is in ZYC's hair forever and ever - Jiu removed the tongue of the bell as part of his belief he does not need to be searched for (his last wish was don't grieve me) but by putting it into his hair to always accompany him during all the years of his now close to immortal life, ZYC has transformed the message - the bell does not need the tongue any more because Jiu does not need to be looked for any more, sure. But the reason he does not need to be looked for any more is because he's always there now, always with the man he looked up to the most and found safety in. He is now always found.

(2) I am still in that moment in the epilogue where ZYZ's soul flies to ZYC's hands. I've talked a lot about that already but I can't stop. I love that the hopeful ending with its promise of future happiness and reunion is possible because ZYC took a look at the final, most awful iteration of the trolley problem (I can't remember who in the tag labeled a lot of their quests this way but you are 100% right!) and broke the constraints of the rules. Because finally in his long long life, ZYZ found someone as powerful and capable and good as he is, but also someone just a tad more persistent. Because ZYC is immovable in his quest to save those near to him to the best of his considerable ability and if he needs to bend the rules of reality and the drive of destiny, so be it. He will sacrifice himself without hesitation but those he loves are different.

Because ZYZ's salvation is an act of love - of ZYC's refusal to have ZYZ do the ultimate sacrifice of walking onto that sword. Thus actually making sure ZYZ is not a liar - he said he won't seek death and by taking the burden of killing him instead of making him kill himself - ZYC makes that statement ZYZ said true. (In a different religious tradition where suicide is a sin that sends you to hell but murder can perhaps be forgiven if sufficiently repented for, one could talk about how this action literally saves ZYZ's soul for heaven at the possible cost of ZYC. Yes, I realize medieval Catholic doctrine is inapplicable to this drama, but I like the different notions of salvation and sacrifice among cultures and how they can reflect different understandings and view of humanity and moral duty.)

It's very much because of censorship (which I of course loathe) that the nature of ZYZ x ZYC relationship has all these lacunae and unspoken spaces. Yes, we know they are soulmates/mirrors but there is room to interpret their relationship as - romantic, platonic, part of a throuple, something else. And I so genuinely admire the narrative for making a virtue of the censorship necessity and transforming the constraint into the message of lack of labels on love, into discussion on all forms of love - romantic, familial, friend, etc - being crucial and not waving the flag of sexual-romantic love supremacy. There is something so beautiful in the narrative going "they are each other's most important person and their love and devotion can literally bring back from the dead and save the world. And does the nature of that love even matter? What matters is the strength of it." Taking unfair, stupid restrictions and turning them into art is something else indeed.

✨ I see the vision ✨

I have excellent news for all of you.

A Love Like Ours

an asexual!joo won gift fic for @echo-story by LipstickDaddy on AO3.

Summary: The working relationship between Han Joo Won and Lee Dong Sik has never been easy to understand, to those on the outside looking in. But for them, it makes perfect sense.

Note: I've never written an asexual character or sex-repulsed character before so I tried my best. I hope you enjoy!

if you enjoyed my work, please consider leaving a tip or commissioning me!

read it here.

Rudimentary Fangs of Fortune romantic/sexual relationship chart based on the first seven episodes.

It takes Kant less than five seconds, between a groggy Bison pushing him back down onto the bed and his skull nearly smacking against the headboard, for him to realize that he’s well and truly fucked. In a horrifying instant, all of his bravado, what little there was, is gone, leaving nothing behind but the hollow cavern in his chest where terror can take root. --- Or, a different take on the Kant/Bison scene from the end of episode three, sans the drugging, featuring: introspection, more angst than you can imagine, a sprinkle of trauma and (mostly) responsible, caring Bison.

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A fic for this lovely fandom! Please, come indulge my traumatized Kant brain worms :)

The Beginning (?) of My Prom/Nont Fic… 👀

Lemme know what y’all thank about my mini ramblings 💪

→ THE WEST WING (1999-2006) 2.10 'Noël' (insp)