When I Go Into A Clothing Store With A Friend I Follow Them Around Like A Lost Puppy Because I Know That

Museum of Living Statues Pt. 1

TRIGGER WARNING: Character death, manipulation, and creepy ending.

This was my final project for my creative writing class, and I was pleased with how it turned out, so please enjoy!

Being ugly has made my life pretty difficult. I was bullied in school, of course. The other kids loved to make fun of my crooked teeth and pudgy belly, and most of all, my height. They’d ask me why I was still fat, despite the fact that I was tall, and that my model height was wasted on someone as ugly as me. Probably the best part of being ugly is that people’s eyes pass right over you when walking down the sidewalk. People always notice me pretty quickly because of my height, but once their eyes travel to my face they become disinterested in a second. They may think that I don’t notice, but I do. I always do. My teeth were crooked because my family was too poor to get me braces, and my pudgy belly ran in the family. Once I, the eldest, entered high school my parents would always send me out to do various odd jobs to bring in some extra cash. Things like dog walking and babysitting, lawn mowing in the summer and snow shoveling in the winter. My parents were always eager to use me and my siblings as a means of extra funds.

One day when I came home from school my parents immediately bombarded me with another odd job, this one a lot more unusual than the things they usually had me do. A wax statue museum had opened up in town a little less than a year ago, and it had quickly become well-renowned for the beauty and detail of their works. My parents shoved a flyer in my hands that had information about becoming a model for the museum. I laughed.

“As if I of all people could be a model.” I scoffed.

“Look! It says right here that they’re looking for everyday people to be featured in their new ‘low class citizen’ collection!,” They persisted. “Besides that, they’re offering one grand and no experience is necessary!”

“So why don’t you do it?” I said dismissively.

“You seem like you’d be better suited for it.”

“Oh yes, I’m definitely model material” I said sarcastically.

“Well, at least you have the height!”

I agree with 99.9% of this. 

I hate Donald Trump, and I disagree with 95% of the words that leave his mouth. I don’t care too much for Hillary, and I understand the concern about her scandals. I love Bernie, and while as much as I genuinely hope that he had a shot at the presidency, I’m just doubtful that he’d be able to beat Hillary, let alone Trump. I’m torn between feelings of Hillary’s potential indictment. Part of me says yes, because then Bernie will hopefully be able to run, but that part of me says no because she has more of a chance at beating Trump. But also, statistically the presidency goes from democrat to republican to democrat to republican, so it is more likely that a republican will be president, i.e. Trump. The only potentially positive part that could come out of having a republican president and congress, is that they could finally work together, instead of congress blocking everything the president tries to do. However, the republicans themselves don’t really like Trump, so who knows if progress would even be made in that regard? 

Either way, I’m definitely voting democrat in this election, because if Trump is elected I’m probably going to cry. Definitely going to cry. A lot. He would hopefully be able to at least do something for our economy, given the businessman that he is. And maybe since the republicans don’t like him, they could just block him for four years then we got Kanye 2020, right? I want to see Bernie run again, but he’s already 74 and I just don’t know. 

Who am I kidding, I’m probably just gonna write in Vermin Supreme.

Political thoughts from someone who knows nothing about it (I warned you)

I like Bernie Sanders a lot. I don’t think that he’ll be president. It would be really, really cool if he was. I just don’t think it’s going to happen. I will vote for him in the primary though. If anything, I think the outpouring of support towards his campaign is inspiring and hopefully proof of the inevitability of a political revolution to come. I don’t hate Hillary Clinton. I think you’re supposed to on the internet though. I’ve heard and read about the reasons she is a crooked politician. And I think that is bad. I guess you could say “but all politicians are” but it’s also possible she is worse than the other ones. Or maybe she really isn’t that much worse and the intense focus on her flaws are sexist in nature. That sentence probably made someone angry, though. It’s somewhat depressing that the first likely female presidential nominee turned out to be someone a large amount of people seem to intensely dislike. Like, smart people even. Feminists and stuff. They hate her. I think. I think the backlash towards her is legitimate in many ways. Some of it annoys me though. There is just a percentage of it that I find to be disingenuous. I think some of our generation is critical of her because they (we) are addicted to hate. Hating and calling out. I think hate is very popular right now. It’s fun. And it’s largely a defense mechanism to the exposure we now have to worldwide suffering. It’s a lot easier and much less emotionally exhausting to pick a few famous people a week for everyone to scream at than to spend time concentrating on and recognizing the part you undoubtedly play in the systematic inequality and suffering happening all around you. Because you do play a part. A real part. A part that if you fully understood you would most likely have a breakdown. So instead you scream at Azealia Banks. And that’s not to say there aren’t people out there who can participate in call out culture while simultaneously being aware and recognizing their own flaws and/or privilege. There’s just a good amount of people that I think don’t. Including me probably. I do it too. Why would I ever look inward when I can just let everyone know that I still think Trump sucks and then just call it a day? I’m not racist, he is! But we both are. Probably. He just is more than me. I hate Trump. I really think I hate him. I know on a humanistic level tnay he’s a person just like me but I genuinely find him to be someone I wish wasn’t allowed to talk anymore. He’s a dangerous force. He’s shining a light on terrible things and it’s horrifying to watch. And I can’t even imagine what it’s like for a minority in this country to hear him Especially a young one. That makes me want to cry. So those are my thoughts. Feel free to get mad at me. I honesty don’t know what I’m talking about. But in summary, I will vote for Hillary if/when she is the nominee against Trump. My friend said to me the other day, “If a white person genuinely thinks that a Hillary presidency is worse than a Trump presidency, that’s the definition of privilege”. I don’t know if she made it up or heard it from somewhere. But it feels true to me. Bye and please don’t scream at me. Actually you can. Just stop screaming so much. Do it a little less.

push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise. 2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. 3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything. 5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice. 6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small. 7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full. 8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle. 9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck. 10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog. 11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through. 13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends. 15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

(via aureat)

[x]

Valley Of Stars - Milky Way arch, aurora and Magellanic Clouds over the Tasman Valley, New Zealand

js

Sleepy Thoughts #3

Friday, May 20, 2016 10:38 PM: In pain on an air mattress at my grandma's 'cause I forgot my neck pillow that I sleep on while my industrial heals The most frustrating part of visiting my family is the difference of views. My uncle proudly says that if Bernie were to be elected then the national debt would be 17 TRILLION dollars, like it's the most absurd piece of information, while my grandma gobbles it up. I sit there biting my tongue while my mother looks at me to make sure I don't jump up and smash their radio to pieces. So I sit there, wondering why it's a bad thing that the national debt would be 17 trillion dollars. Especially since it's currently at 19.2 trillion and growing more every second.

DIFFERENCE between MOON and SUN signs

The expression of a sign is much - MUCH - different depending on the planet it is found. And in my opinion, this is specially true when it comes to the sun and moon. The Sun is who we strive to be, while the Moon is what we are most deeply. Sometimes I even see that the Stereotypical traits of a sign are more evident in the moon than in the sun sign. The reason I find for this, is that most of us express ourselves through our feelings, particularly women or people with a more feminine energy (what I mean by this, has nothing to do with gender, but that you are in tune with your emotions) or sometimes it has to do with your dominant planet. Here are the differences and similarities of the signs placed on the sun or moon.

Aries:

Similarities: impatient

Differences: Sun is more aloof, the Aries sun is more constrained, and composed, looks confident. Moon in Aries has a lot of mental energy, very passionate and changes their mind very easily. The Moon doesn’t know how to direct their energy and might feel restless, while the Sun projects their energy better. Aries Moon feels everyone is out to get them while the Aries Sun does not. Aries characteristics are more obvious and pronounced in the Aries moon than the Aries sun.

Taurus:

Similarities: stubbornness and charm, expressive.

Differences: Taurus sun are blunt and less careful with other people’s feelings. In this particular sign, the Taurus sun is easier to spot than the Taurus moon. The Taurus moon is more grounded than the Taurus sun. Taurus moon is deep, while the Taurus sun is more shallow. Taurus moon loves love, and stability, and this quality is less manifested in the Sun.

Gemini:

Similarities: aloof, absent minded, easily bored

Differences:  Gemini suns want to appear easy-going, but it isn’t necessarily their true nature. Gemini moons are truly easy-going people. Sun wants to “be right” know the facts, while Gemini moons are simply more cynical to guard their emotions. Gemini suns are less witty (sorry…) than the moon sign.

Cancer:

Similarities: emotional, has pronounced mood swings.

Differences: Cancer suns act their feelings, like taking revenge, doing something about it BUT the cancer moon express their negative emotions through crying or anger.  Cancer suns are easy to spot, while cancer moons may need to feel comfortable to express themselves. The happy go lucky cancer sun is evident, while the Cancer moon is more - way more - serious.

Leo:

Similarities: the Ego and the need for compliments

Differences: The Leo Sun is a poser, they know it too! They are show offs, and while the Leo Moon is pretty damn good at everything, they know it, but will not say it. Will like to hear it, tho. The Leo Moon does not care about their appearance as much as the Leo Sun. The Leo Sun is more patient, annoy them a little, try harder, try again and they will get angry, the Leo Moon is more defensive and will kill you in less tries. The Leo Moon is more loving though, more sure of themselves and way more protective of themselves and especially, of their loved ones.

Virgo:

Similarities: critical, analyzing

Differences: I find in this sign the less differences. The Virgo Sun is more shy than the Virgo Moon, which I think goes against popular belief. (I also think this sign differs a lot depending if you are more masculine or feminine, I’ll do a post on that later). The Virgo knows how to live life correctly and will tell you how to lead your life, while being a mess themselves. Both are blunt, but you might have to push the Virgo suns more than the Virgo moons to actually get the real deal.

Libra:

Similarities: cares about what others think of them, passive agressive

Differences: the Libra sign is very misinterpreted, whenever I read about them I hear: “shallow” and while they can be vain because they care what others think about them, they are still deep. They think and are witty people, like their fellow air signs. Libra Sun is more care-free and easy going than the libra moon and less romantic because they want to appear care-free and interested in others, but might not really be interested at all. Libra Moon people are more intense. They are romantic and still vain, but they are more modest and insecure the Suns. They are also secretive something the Libra Sun is not. 

Scorpio:

Here and in Capricorn is where I PERSONALLY find the most differences

Similiarities: jealous, egocentric

Differences: if you still think that Scorpio people are the mysterious, dark, non talkative people that the stereotypes have them for, you really do not know many Scorpios SUNS. Scorpio SUNS want to be the center of attention and are charming, and talkative. When they get dark is when they don’t like you… Yeah. Revenge is a big truth here. The Scorpio moon? Now yes, they are the intense, dark, jealous you always thought Scorpios should be. Scorpio Suns might be dark at their core but will not show it, but Scorpio moons are what you see. The Sun is more reckless because just like I said about cancers, in the sun Scorpio acts on their feelings and the moons just feels them. So actually, in spite of being more intense, the Scorpio Moon tends to be kinder and still more jealous.

Sagittarius:

Similarities: EXPLORERS and thin skin

Differences: The Sun has a bigger heart. The moon since its the realm of emotions and Sag escapes, is less empathetic. The Sagittarius Sun is more bubbly than the moon, but the moon is more playful. The Sag sun is pretty easy to spot while the Sag moon might be one of the hardest to see. Sagittarius moons are more critical and snap easily. They are more blunt than the sun. Both are childish in way, it’s the Sag youthful spirit. The Sagittarius Sun is more philosophical and aware, the sag moon is more care-free.

Capricorn:

Similarities: confident and ambitious!

Differences: Are you kidding me? Capricorn suns are way way less introvert! They are not as reserved! The thing is, the Suns try to keep their feelings in check but the Moon though, is naturally hiding them. It’s what they instinctively do since the Moon represents the emotions. The Capricorn sun has a more loud confidence, while the Moon is more cautious. The Capricorn Sun might not be hardworking in areas that do not interest them, but if they want something, they will make everyone know they are going to get it. The Capricorn Moon are prudent and will get what they want with discipline and with anyone realizing how they got to the top! They do not need to say it, they will show you. The Moon is colder than the Sun and more intimidating. Way more intimidating.

Aquarius:

Similarities: I see not much resemblance in these two, maybe the aloofness and Idgaf attitude.

Differences: If I had to say who is the two face of the zodiac I would not turn to the Gemini, surprisingly enough. The Aquarius Sun tho, they are volatile. In the Sun I have trouble understanding them and in the moon they are obvious! The Aquarius Sun looks confident and detached, but this might not be their true emotional nature, just a disguise. They can be happy one moment and angry the next, loving for one second, pushing you away after because of this fighting against what their inner feelings are and what they want their public persona to be. The Moon is less volatile because they really are detached, for the moon it’s not a show. VERY VERY GOOFY, loves attention and IS WITTY. Very unique person and loves/wants to appear weird.

Pisces:

Similarities: creative

Differences: The Pisces Sun is sensitive, but more to their own feelings. The Pisces Moon is more sensitive towards others, not wanting to hurt other people. The Pisces Moon is truly the most sensitive of the zodiac. The Pisces Moon cares more about what people think than the Sun. The Pisces Sun is comfortable in their skin, the Moon is always fighting against their empathetic nature. “Why am i feeling so much, stop” but if only the Pisces Moon did not feel ashamed of their sensitivity they would hurt much less. Yes, the Pisces Moon that doesn’t like being empathetic, lives in a lot of pain. They Moon can be submissive and naturally wants to please, the Sun however, is more selfish. Also, the Pisces Moon escapes reality more often and is darker.

A 2012 excavation in Turkey revealed a 2,000-year-old mosaic that features a super-chill skeleton reclining next to some wine, bread, and the inscription ‘Be cheerful, live your life.’ Source Source 2

New article on Ravishly!

It’s starting to feel like everyone is getting into relationships. When the whole world is getting into “Summer Lovin” mode and you’re on your own, it can be hard not to feel like you’re missing out on something.

Well, that’s why I’m here. Here’s “5 Things To Do When You Feel Bad About Being Single.”

logic