Lil Jon Things I Am Obsessed With/think Are Hilarious In The Order They Occurred To Me At 3 Am

lil jon things i am obsessed with/think are hilarious in the order they occurred to me at 3 am

-spends the first book telling anyone who will listen that he’s Not Afraid To Die and then a wight shoves its whole hand down his throat and he’s like wow that was actually extremely scary and never says that shit again

-always got little Things he says to himself but they’re all awful. very bad affirmation game no wonder morale is low

-“did lord eddard father you on a fish wife”

-the doubts that plague me can’t catch me if i just keep making Decisions!!! let’s hear it for Decisions!!!!

-arguably contender for top woman respecter but batting absolute zero at successfully comforting crying women. unless you consider “making her mad at you instead of upset” a success

-i’m not a wolf! i’m not a wolf!! i’m not a wolf!!! while warging like almost constantly with zero control. babe i don’t think your affirmations are working you’re experiencing non consensual smells at an alarming rate

-i wish mormont was my dad wait no i wish benjen was my dad wait no i wish qhorin was my dad wait no i wish donal noye was my dad. will someone be my dad please i just keep making decisions

-constantly having Agonies over ethical decision making while the rest of the continent hasn’t even really invented the concept of ethics yet? on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to his constant Agonies

-related: love is the death of duty but having strong ethical convictions/clear moral vision is also kind of the death of duty oops! aemon didn’t warn you about that one!

-stannis wants to davosify this kid mega bad

-“jon felt like he was fifteen again” (said when he’s literally sixteen)

-has a terrible violence in his heart but it’s kind of the least of his problems tbh. like yeah my fire and blood levels are a little elevated but i’ve got paperwork i need to take care of

-RUNNING DOWN THE TABLE AT YOU WITH A KNIFE!!!!!

-last of the giants fixation. god he’s gonna be so mad when he comes back and wun wun is dead. this one isn’t hilarious it’s deeply moving and endearing

-an eagle almost rips his eye out and he’s like well i guess i have no choice but to have sex with ygritte at least one dozen times. it’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it

-just a crazy amount of anime main character pre-loaded swag (bastard of winterfell skin changer with an albino direwolf and a cool sword which he can really SWANG and cool facial scars etc etc) and is actively working against it. rolled super high on charisma and is trying to balance it out by being as much of a boring fuddy duddy as he possibly can. the devil works hard (at making me cool) but i work harder (at being very uncool). it is an honorable thing to be swagless by choice…….

-pretty sure he actively enjoys saying no to people. just for love of the game (the game is being disagreeable). very capricorn coded. likely brushes his teeth in the shower.

-REMEMBER WE KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP 😈

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erifoe

9 months ago

AHHHHHH this part was so good but hurt so much

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erifoe

3 years ago

He would do that (especially lego batman Alfred that dude had no chill)

alfred welcoming bruce home with a big "autism won!!!" banner when bruce beats a villain

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erifoe

2 years ago

giorno has been on a one track mind of taking over the mafia since he was like 7 so theres just vast swatches of knowledge that he does not know about that would frankly be horrifying to the average person. But hes picks stuff up quickly and is also so good at bullshitting it that it borders on gaslighting

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erifoe

1 year ago

Even without the shitty last seasons and character developments, asoiaf books take the W for the simple fact that the obvious young hero of the first book is like. 15. Like even in the pjo or hp series where there are fated young heroes haunted with tragedy something about robb stark just makes me want to sob.

He's 15 and his beard is just starting to grow, one day he's playing with his siblings and friends and the next day he learns that his father will leave for king's landing, and then his little brother falls from a tower and he is crippled. his father leaves his home and his men to his mother and him, but his mother does not leave his brother's side, doesn't eat, doesn't sleep. the whole castle and the region depends on him to function, he listens to everyone but it's not enough and he begs his mother for help, then he begs his mother so that she rests a little. His mother gets better but still leaves him, and now he functions fully as the heir of winterfell. he dislikes killing even the wildlings, but he recognizes the duty but he still sighs in relief when he's advised not to kill. He takes care of everyone and then he cries with his brother at night, his voice shakes when he defends his brother but his sword doesn't, even the ones he trusts the most does not run for his brother like he does. He's scared all the time but he keeps going and he keeps listening and he keeps caring and it's just not enough.

His father dies. he's the lord of winterfell now, and then king of the north. he's fifteen. no matter what he does, he's fifteen.

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erifoe

3 years ago

Hahaha I was faster than you

274 notes View Post

erifoe

1 year ago

unfortunately for jon snow, the role of "dead girl haunting the narrative" is already occupied by his mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, grandmother and step mother x2 so he's going to have to be forcibly resurrected :/