*guy Who Has Repressed Every Feeling He's Ever Had* Yeah I'm Just Really Good At Rolling With The Punches

there's only one thing worse than an awful book, and that is an awful book with ONE tantalisingly compelling element

Thinking about “Dying together” also included a “together.” and the fact that qijiu didn't even get that much, in either timeline.

I'm on a "give SJ a happy ending" agenda where kid SJ reverse transmigrated into the modern world and subsequently gets adopted by kid SY. In this au, SY happens to be an only child who desperately wanted a sibling. He found a feral skrunkly SJ and imprinted on him (right after SJ tried to pickpocket him).

Would probably add more to this au in the future

(more of my "happy beginnings au" : next)

I realized my WIP currently has “someone will die/of fun” energy but it’s more like:

Papercraft commission of Yue Qingyuan with some bleeding heart flowers! I enjoyed his wistful, slightly sad little smile and his delicate hold on the flowers... I also enjoyed his BEAUTIFUL GLORIOUS EYEBROWS!

i am NOT doing my paperwork please why am i doing the paperwwork i just wanna storytell not make the paper fuck the underclassmen they should do it instead

Yue Qingyuan didn't value his soul like one who possesses their soul does, because his soul belonged to Shen Jiu. In the same way, Shen Jiu swore his life to Yue Qingyuan, and so unlike a man who possesses his life, Shen Jiu did not enjoy it. In the end, neither of them got to keep their life, or soul.

Something about both of them entering Wan Jian's swordhalls for the other, Yue Qingyuan to claim a sword, to put a claim to strength, strength enough to rescue Shen Jiu. Shen Jiu, entering Wan Jian to grasp a physical symbol of what he has carried. The physical bond of his loyalty he cannot abandon, the devotion he cannot sever from himself.

(Something about a sword from Wan Jian tying one to Cang Qiong, so even if Shen Jiu could not belong with Yue Qingyuan, if he belonged to Cang Qiong, and Cang Qiong belonged to Yue Qingyuan...)

Them both bearing the physical symbols of their devotion, loyalty, and desire, affixing those symbols to their waists daily, for years, and in that same day, walking past one another, and feeling only heartache.

Miscommunication is Qijiu’s favorite pastime, you see, because to Shen Jiu, Xuan Su has a bitter meaning: A symbol of how Yue Qingyuan had truly moved past him. How he ascended, abandoning Shen Jiu to a mortal fate, an untouchable immortal cultivator.

Xiu Ya, to Yue Qingyuan. Yue Qi.

A reminder. A symbol of his greatest peace, a monument to his greatest failure. For Shen Jiu could master a sword when Yue Qingyuan could not. Yet, how could Yue Qi not feel comforted by his dearest person’s glorious triumph? To each of them, the other’s sword as a reminder of their greatest pain.

Poetically, PIDW!Shen Qingqiu consuming the shards of Xuan Su. The shards of Xuan Su, Yue Qingyuan’s soul, his broken ascendancy. Shen Jiu consuming that, subsuming it to himself, tying Yue Qingyuan to him, in a way that SVSSS!Shen Jiu did not get a chance to.

It is either the shards of Xuan Su, or a broken red string.

Someone said that Yue Qingyuan is never on time.

To which I thought, and perhaps, this could be true, Shen Jiu is always too early.

Qijiu seems eternally meant to pass each other, never meant to meet.

Shen Jiu, leaving the inferno of Qiu Manor, too early. Yue Qingyuan, finding cold ashes, too late.

Shen Jiu, dying before his time, or at least, his soul departing, too early. Yue Qingyuan, speaking painful truth instead of remonstrating his own folly, too late.

We don’t know what Yue Qingyuan and SVSSS!Shen Jiu’s last words were to each other.

Ashes and tears to go around!

Ten thousand arrows and a broken sword.

@k0mmari I LOVE THE WATCHERS THEY LOOK SO CUTE! Its just all fabric hdjfjkfk 😭

The way Yue Qingyuan is a strong and just person, except for when it comes to Shen Qingqiu at which point he is so full of remorse and guilt and would destroy himself in order to protect him- even to the point of going against his own beliefs.

As the venerated CEO of CQ and Co., there are very few who don't trust YQY. Some might think he's biased or soft, but no one ever even THINKS to doubt his unwavering integrity.

Which is why no one second guesses his testimony when he frames a completely different person for the murder of QJL. He's all misty-eyed and somber, giving a detailed testimony of the events he witnessed while on the stand.

And SJ (the accused) is frozen. Terrified, really, as he looks up at him. Because YQY walked in on him. He literally caught SJ red-handed, but there is not a trace of anxiety or even guilt on his face as he condemns some other poor soul instead.

The years pass. They don't talk about it. SJ doesn't ask. They get married.

YQY never lies again.