Shen Jiu: That's It! You're Head Disciple!

Shen Jiu (I will not degrade myself by explaining what happened) 🤝 Yue Qingyuan (I will not degrade you by explaining what happened)

One’s mindset is “I won’t defend myself since I’m unrepentantly evil anyway” and the other’s is “I won’t make excuses for myself since I failed you anyway”

They are made for each other in the worst way possible. I want to grind their heads together; it will not help one bit, since what they need is top-notch therapy/counselling, but wow the urge haunts me

Phos's relationship with Cinnabar is really just *Shows up once a month* *Info dumps newly acquired trauma* *Asks Cinnabar out* *Gets rejected* *Leaves* *Shows up next month with another body part replaced*

Peak romance, I love them for it

I think YQY’s actual reaction to SJ’s death would be a numb kind of “there’s nothing to do but keep going” mindset and then spending years in and out of a dissociative haze (this is basically what I think happened between him finding the ashes of the Qiu manor and running into SJ again), but it’s SO tempting to make him break down properly.

Spreading the Goth T4T Lesbingqiu Agenda Part 2

I think about this part all the time he is so fucking funny

If YQY is a big fluffy livestock guardian dog that’s happy just being in the presence of SJ, and LBH is one of those hellspawn Pomeranians that is only content when being held by SY and will attempt to maul anyone else that touches him, LQG is one of those border collies that will herd a completely random herd of sheep and maybe a couple of children directly into the bamboo house

Yin Yu and Shen Qingqiu are alike, not only because of their whole bonking with a shovel/jumping out of windows shidi/disciple avoidance schtick. But because they're kindergarten teacher shaped, and because they think their Shidi/Disciple they're terrified of is actually PERFECT and think this is a fact, a law of nature, and not their very biased opinion

I'm on a "give SJ a happy ending" agenda where kid SJ reverse transmigrated into the modern world and subsequently gets adopted by kid SY. In this au, SY happens to be an only child who desperately wanted a sibling. He found a feral skrunkly SJ and imprinted on him (right after SJ tried to pickpocket him).

Would probably add more to this au in the future

(more of my "happy beginnings au" : next)

Yue Qingyuan didn't value his soul like one who possesses their soul does, because his soul belonged to Shen Jiu. In the same way, Shen Jiu swore his life to Yue Qingyuan, and so unlike a man who possesses his life, Shen Jiu did not enjoy it. In the end, neither of them got to keep their life, or soul.

Something about both of them entering Wan Jian's swordhalls for the other, Yue Qingyuan to claim a sword, to put a claim to strength, strength enough to rescue Shen Jiu. Shen Jiu, entering Wan Jian to grasp a physical symbol of what he has carried. The physical bond of his loyalty he cannot abandon, the devotion he cannot sever from himself.

(Something about a sword from Wan Jian tying one to Cang Qiong, so even if Shen Jiu could not belong with Yue Qingyuan, if he belonged to Cang Qiong, and Cang Qiong belonged to Yue Qingyuan...)

Them both bearing the physical symbols of their devotion, loyalty, and desire, affixing those symbols to their waists daily, for years, and in that same day, walking past one another, and feeling only heartache.

Miscommunication is Qijiu’s favorite pastime, you see, because to Shen Jiu, Xuan Su has a bitter meaning: A symbol of how Yue Qingyuan had truly moved past him. How he ascended, abandoning Shen Jiu to a mortal fate, an untouchable immortal cultivator.

Xiu Ya, to Yue Qingyuan. Yue Qi.

A reminder. A symbol of his greatest peace, a monument to his greatest failure. For Shen Jiu could master a sword when Yue Qingyuan could not. Yet, how could Yue Qi not feel comforted by his dearest person’s glorious triumph? To each of them, the other’s sword as a reminder of their greatest pain.

Poetically, PIDW!Shen Qingqiu consuming the shards of Xuan Su. The shards of Xuan Su, Yue Qingyuan’s soul, his broken ascendancy. Shen Jiu consuming that, subsuming it to himself, tying Yue Qingyuan to him, in a way that SVSSS!Shen Jiu did not get a chance to.

It is either the shards of Xuan Su, or a broken red string.

Someone said that Yue Qingyuan is never on time.

To which I thought, and perhaps, this could be true, Shen Jiu is always too early.

Qijiu seems eternally meant to pass each other, never meant to meet.

Shen Jiu, leaving the inferno of Qiu Manor, too early. Yue Qingyuan, finding cold ashes, too late.

Shen Jiu, dying before his time, or at least, his soul departing, too early. Yue Qingyuan, speaking painful truth instead of remonstrating his own folly, too late.

We don’t know what Yue Qingyuan and SVSSS!Shen Jiu’s last words were to each other.

Ashes and tears to go around!

Ten thousand arrows and a broken sword.