I was never one to be thrown off by spoilers. Maybe that’s the very reason why I kept lurking on Tumblr the day the BFI screening and the supposed leak happened. And it was, needless to say, as expected of the Sherlock fandom to blow things up more than they should because, in a way, this entire time, we were shaped by this series to smarter, more vigilant, and to be just like Sherlock: logical, until emotionally compromised.
To summarise:
(I am mostly talking about myself, but hey, feel free to sympathise).
This is why it was puzzling to me why the response was split in half. I saw people who find it amazing and there are some who were deeply disappointed. And it wasn’t until I watched the episode that I understood why.
Some of us expected bigger things ahead because we have been amused by this series in the past, making us theorists. But I realised that they said this series was darker because it dealt with matters of the heart. One that is often more devilish than what the mind can conjure. We were expecting a complete mind game and yet what we got was a harrowing experience through and through.
And yes, I liked it. Loved this episode, in fact. Although I did find the explosion and the 3 men hanging by the window a bit too much to the point of hilarity (it was quite cringey if I’m being honest) but it didn’t make me lose my attachment to the plot because it was a culmination of everything. It has it’s highs and lows, in which I will get into detail.
So as I am drowning (no pun intended) in my own feelings today, I will discuss my assessment of the episode because why the heck not.
When I saw that shabby, Hollywood-esque explosion from the episode teaser, I laughed out loud and said “WTF”. But hey, I was so emotionally compromised regarding a scene before that (will discuss in a bit) and figured it was okay.
Plus, there are bloody continuity errors again, and as someone who took videography classes back in Uni, this is kinda funny to me too.
It’s just worth noting to realise that she and I share the same taste in music.
Onto more serious parts, ever since the part in TAB where Mycroft was assuring Sherlock that he will always be there for his brother, it has always been painful for me to look at him. Maybe it’s because I’m also the eldest child in the family (and I have an equally stubborn brother similar to Sherlock), but think that before Sherlock had anyone, he had no choice but to stick with Mycroft. And it must be painful for him to have this cold and hard facade to keep tabs on his brother who he obviously cares for so much and have someone else (John) be considered more like family when the immediate situation calls for it.
And I think Mycroft knows that. I’m not saying that John doesn’t deserve to be considered family, because he really does. But Mycroft, from the very beginning, knows deep in his heart that if it goes down to choosing between him and John, he would have the shorter end of the stick. And it’s much more painful to think that he knew he was the ultimate cause of it too.
So, in all honesty, I was already a crying mess 20 minutes in the episode when Sherlock admitted he liked Mycroft’s portrayal of Lady Bracknell. It may seem like a trivial thing, but Mycroft expressed how much Sherlock’s opinion meant to him (with death looming over their heads, mind you), even if it was about a play that had happened years ago, when he simply said, “That’s good to know. I’ve always wondered.”
At first, I thought this case was a part of the entire mess. And it wasn’t until the back and forth between Eurus’ challenges and the girl that made me think she was also a trick.
The parallelisms of the girl asking Sherlock to pay attention to her and Sherlock solving the puzzle to save John correlates to Eurus making him choose again between her and his best friend. It’s an agonising parallelism once you realise it.
It also showed how Eurus mirrored both Mycroft and Sherlock. She was like what would have happened if one of them went wrong. The idea of loneliness and isolation consumed her and she was desperate to be saved (yes, I do know she’s a bloody psychopath to resort to her measures).
Maybe Mycroft felt like he did a mistake when he treated Eurus as a case, but it was already too late. This can also show why Eurus preferred Sherlock because he was the emotional one. “What is pain” she asked. And as Sherlock was different from her, maybe she wanted to learn from him as an experiment of sorts. But Redbeard got in the way and her impulse is to get rid of him.
The metaphor of the glass was also worth noting. Just like the parallelism in the line from ASIB where Irene said that Sherlock didn’t know where to look, it was because Sherlock gets easily distracted by his emotions that it affects his logic. He lost the idea of ‘you see but you do not observe’ because was overwhelmed, scared, and he knows that in this situation, he couldn’t trust his mind or his memories. That’s why he didn’t notice the glass. He was trying to understand Eurus to the point that he wasn’t looking at her clearly enough. He was swayed by the illusion of her.
That’s why Mycroft was very careful with Sherlock. He didn’t want him to fall into the same tendencies as Eurus, seeing as something inside his younger brother broke when Redbeard disappeared. So even if he distanced himself from his brother, he liked to let him know that he was always watching. He let Sherlock know that he was the smarter one so that he would rely on him and not his own instincts as Eurus did. And as we can see, Sherlock does consult Mycroft, even in his mind palace.
It is worth noting that Eurus is definitely a worse version of Sherlock. She can be cold and vile at one point, and soft and vulnerable the next. But her methods doesn’t change. It was another thing that was constant to all of the Holmes’ siblings.
Now, listen. Moriarty will always have a place in my heart. He was the ‘big bad of dreams’, in my opinion, that even if I found Magnussen and Culverton creepy, no amount of craziness will top that…
Until I saw him and Eurus.
To me, it was a toxic yet intriguing combination. The amount of calculation and chaos to have them together was exciting to me that I’m actually craving for more. Yet, that small interaction they had was enough to send chills down my spine and make me feel unnerved.
In all honesty, I was hoping that Moriarty was alive. The whole recording thing felt a bit weird to me and it was one of the things that I found iffy in this episode. But having Moriarty add to the pressure of Eurus’ games as he does the ticking of the clock, made it a bit forgivable.
Maybe it was just me missing Moriarty so much? Yep. Probably that.
Not to mention that despite this being a flashback, James really does know how to make a freaking entrance.
It was also quite amusing to me how the actress who played Eurus is named Sian Brooke, which reminds me of Richard Brooke, aka Moriarty’s ‘alter ego’.
I wanted to make all of these into separate points, but I think it’s better to just keep them all in one place. This is because it deals with one of the core ideas within the show and how this episode defined them – Sherlock’s relationships.
Irene’s Theme
Being an Adlock shipper, I simply have to include this part. Not because it cheekily implies the sexual relationship of Irene Adler and Sherlock, but I read into this scene quite differently.
In Eurus’ own words, she said, “Not Bach. You clearly don’t understand it. Play you.” And in the way the narrative flowed, Eurus shifted from the idea of sex, to manipulation, to Sherlock’s obvious nervousness. Two notes in and she could already tell that this piece was written by her brother out of passion and vulnerability – a weakness she used the entire time.
But still, why Irene’s Theme to define him through his music?
I believe it’s because when he met Irene Adler, that’s when Sherlock truly grasped the idea of being attuned to his feelings. If we look back, objectively speaking, ASIB was when he started to get challenged both intellectually and emotionally. He lamented her without really being sure why, he even admitted that he was distracted by her as they were playing ‘the game’, and he went ahead and saved her in a place miles and miles away from home. Finally, to reference TLD, it was made known that he still gets in touch with her from time to time.
And in my assessment, as Mycroft is Sherlock’s calculating and logical half, and John is his moral and emotional compass, Irene was the thin line putting both together. Somehow very similar to how Mary’s role was like.
To connect it with this episode, it was a foreshadowing as to why Sherlock was so rattled by the idea of losing someone important to him. And that someone being a person not part of his immediate inner circle. It was because he was left with a hole of not knowing how to deal with loss. It was a new, yet familiar feeling for him. And Irene Adler rekindled that missing link.
Molly Hooper
I’ll just go ahead and say it. This scene killed me.
It was cruel in the cruelest of ways because as soon as Sherlock mentioned Molly, everything started to click. He was going to hurt her. And it wasn’t really the fact that it was to save her life that made it cruel, it was the idea that after all these years of Sherlock finally coming into terms of how much Molly Hooper means to him, in a split second he was about to lose her. You can hear the desperation when he said “I know you’re not an experiment, you’re my friend.” It was like he wanted to tell her to not lose faith in him still.
When John suggested Irene (being the bloody captain of the Adlock yacht), it was obvious to Sherlock that it wasn’t the case. For more logical reasons, if they are still keeping in touch, he would still have her measurements in mind. Plus, Eurus would be smart enough to know that Irene and Sherlock are not the type of people who would adhere to whims of the heart in such a situation.
Whereas with Molly, it was different. Sherlock has been dismissive of her feelings from the beginning. I think Sherlock was genuinely confused as to why Molly was being so hesitant and it was because he thought that after all these years, after all the bullshit he’s done, she would’ve moved on. But he was wrong.
And yet somehow, this scene also showed us that she’s not the Molly we’ve seen from Season 1. She was smart. She must’ve noticed that something was up right at the moment when Sherlock started yelling and pleading. But also keeping herself in mind and how she will not be played around with this simply, she asked Sherlock to say the words first like he meant it and in my opinion, it wasn’t because she was being a martyr and she wanted to hear the words ‘just because’ – she wanted him to know how it feels like to be forced to say things in the face of insensitivity and emotional suffering. She wants him to know that she thought he already knows better.
Only for us to see that Sherlock did mean it. He does love her and she is very dear to him. The way he said the words were very clear, sincere, and it wasn’t forced at all. His very action of wanting to keep her alive was enough to breathe out the words. And to me, it sounded like a goodbye, because he knew he was hurting Molly and that he will lose her. You could see his agony as he was destroying the very coffin that personified his and Molly Hooper’s relationship (EDIT: whether you see this as romantic or not, I leave it up to you. I personally don’t, as I believe that as there are varying degrees of love shown for all of the characters, this episode proved above all that Sherlock is not someone typically attuned to the whole ‘romance’ thing. Still, I am open to the possibility).
That’s why I was happy to see Molly smiling and visiting in the end montage because things had worked out.
Now, I will need a moment to cry a little bit more before I go back to typing…
Sherlock’s choice
It had to be John. From the very beginning, as I stated above, Mycroft knew he was going to lose this one. I think ever since the night he asked Anthea to monitor Sherlock and John at the beginning of ASIP he knew.
And I think he finds it enough consolation that Sherlock read through his mask. You can see a change in his facade when Sherlock explained to John that Mycroft was simply making it easy for him to choose who to shoot. It was like an approval he wanted for so long (the minute he started being an asshole, I was screaming at the TV, asking him to stop because dammit Mycroft. You are so predictable!)
It was also quite possible that he was still trying to protect Sherlock from triggering his memories if John, his best friend, dies. The parallelism, of course, leads to another twist of this story that is Victor Trevor (kudos to this reference from the books, btw).
And this is where the line was drawn. I believe that Sherlock’s choice to shoot himself, rather than shooting Mycroft or John, was not because he believed he would be saving them, but is was the idea that he wouldn’t want to witness their death. It was like making him choose a side of himself and that he will never be the same if he were to lose one side or the other.
So to conclude this point, I want to tie it in by saying that Sherlock took John’s advice when he asked him to keep himself together. Because by choosing his own death, he didn’t have to lose either and rip himself apart.
I think the reason why the fandom is torn with their opinions of the episode was because of the very idea of context. We were forged on subtext –we loved it. Whether it’s for shipping, solving cliffhangers, and even conspiring on theories regarding this ‘final’ episode, we are a fandom that relied on things that are unsaid. And yet in this one, we were made to see how Sherlock’s emotional context worked. (You thought I was gonna rant about certain shipping wars again but nope. Already rested my case in this post so there’s that.)
It showed us how each person we have encountered in this story filled in the flaws of this character, and we are left with a heart behind the legend. To play with the words of Lestrade, Sherlock is now both a great man and a good one. And their cases won’t tell that story, because their adventures will highlight his intellect. But through this we got to see Sherlock as a man. We got to see his heart in its purest form.
It was like a tribute, an end, a beginning, a loop – it was a reminder that the story of this series is about the legend that is Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.
There were references to both the ACD canon, and other Sherlock tributes (the Stradivarius, Victor Trevor, Rathbone, to name a few), which I found interesting as someone who started with the ACD books before I came across this series.
Overall, this episode made me laugh, cry, feel, think– and I can assure you that I find it refreshing yet lonely. It was like we are seeing a beginning and a backstory, but we are also introduced to a conclusion. It feels sad to say goodbye to Sherlock, if ever that is really the case, but in all honesty, I feel like they did justice to it if this is how it ends.
In my opinion, there was no trickery or baiting. We saw what we wanted to see, felt what we wanted to feel, and we were warned over and over that we will all come back to these two men, living in 221B Baker Street, solving crimes and leading adventures, and it gave us just that.
I find it disappointing how Moffat and Gatiss are being slammed for this, too. They were very explicit about the fact that they were the biggest Conan-Doyle nerds and that they were never going to stray that far from his work. Of course, reshaping the story but keeping the core of the 19th century work is what they planned to do. They admittedly said this was their own version of fanfiction.
Is it underwhelming? I don’t think so. Is Eurus a worthy villain for a finale? I believe she is. I just think it’s better if they stretched the reveal and ‘the game’ throughout the season to make the storyline feel more weaved together. What is my take away from this and the entire series? That everyone can be family. That everyone can be saved. That everyone has a story.
And just like how this fandom has become a family for most people, don’t set it on fire just because it’s not how you expect it to be. Live in the adventures you loved. Embrace the characters you looked up to. Treasure the friends you have created. One part of the story is not all there is to it.
And just like how open-ended that final narrative has been, remember that at the end of the day, the rest of the story is still up to you.
I am now questioning my self proclaimed love for travelling. I am on a business-ish trip and all I want to do is stay holed up in my hotel room.
As we all have already established, INTJs work differently than other people. We are cold, rational and analytical. We are brutally honest, dislike humankind and don’t care about other’s opinions. We don’t like any involvement, feelings, or emotions. But despite that, we are all only weak, fragile humans. And even we have some fears, or face adversities. Don’t try to deny it. Everyone is afraid of something. Voldemort was afraid of dying, the Joker was afraid of being considered as a common clown, Sauron was afraid of the Ring being destroyed, Sherlock was afraid of John leaving him, Moriarty was… Well, I’m quite sure he was afraid of something, too. Sherlock has only three seasons, I’m slowly dying waiting for fourth, shut up. You know I’m right.
We all fear something or have to overcome adversity. Everyone experiences those in their own, specific way, but as always, INTJs’ way is the most specific. Let me explain it on me.
Five months ago I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression. I started treatment, psychotherapy and other stuff that was supposed to help me. Today I made a decision. As I am terrified of using public transport and generally being in public, I decided that would be a big step for me to take a tram and just go, even if it was supposed to be five minutes ride. I did as I said. When I got out of the tram, I was expecting to feel something. Happiness. Relief. Pride. I didn’t feel any of those. I started my walk back home with my mind being completely blank. Until I got home. Then I felt it. I felt this overwhelming anger.
I was so angry at myself that I was so weak before. That I let myself be weak. That I let myself feel weak. That I let myself act weak. Because that, THAT, is the biggest humiliation for INTJ. To show feelings, to show fear and let the fear take control. Of course, fear is rational in certain situations. But most of the times, it’s not. And we don’t like irrational things. And we don’t like to feel out of the control. Oh, no, we really don’t like it.
We must remain strong, to feel confident. INTJs are those cold, silent, untouched people looking at everyone with their analytical gazes. And feeling anything, especially fear is a humiliation for us. You may say, that fearing something is human. You’re right. And INTJs are human, even if most of times we seem INhuman. But we see and feel and act and react differently. In our own, specific way. And showing weakness, let alone asking for help, is the last thing we’d do. The same applies to adversities. We don’t want your help. Even if we’re falling, we don’t want you catch us. We want you to leave us alone, so we can do it on our own. That’s what how we are.
Cold. Rational. Analytical. Untouched. And strong. Oh god, unbelievably strong.
To everyone who thinks I have a problem with you, don’t be so full of yourselves. I don’t give a fuck about you so don’t think that how I look like has something to do with you.
Spoilers* Spoilers* Spoilers
On Sansa- At this point in time, I think Sansa doesn’t trust anyone, not even Jon.. Well let’s say she does trust him but not that much. After all that’s happened to her, it’s just difficult to trust someone even if it’s her own brother. I also think she didn’t tell him about the Vale army because she isn’t exactly sure if they will come or not. In addition to that, Jon might change battle plans thereby alerting Ramsay’s camp then they might change plans also. She knows how manipulative Ramsay is.
True, not telling Jon about the possibility of the Vale army coming is a questionable move by Sansa. Some might say she is selfish for sacrificing Rickon, because well that is really selfish. But is it an intelligent move to try rescue him? She knew from the moment she saw shaggydog’s decapitated head that rescuing Rickon is going to be a fruitless effort. Why would Ramsay keep him alive after the battle?
Sansa may be showing that she can play the game but she is still learning. Her moves might not be best. I, myself, don’t think it’s a good idea not to tell Jon about the Vale army or not to pursue saving Rickon, but it is Sansa’s move based on her character.
I hope we see a fitting funeral for Rickon though, or that they show us Sansa crying for the death of her brother just to show us she did not this fully cold hearted person. I hope she would trust Jon more because they need each other now more than ever.
These are just my thoughts though..
I have read and researched a bit about MBTI and dabble in the theory as a hobby. I am definitely not an expert in the field. It peaks my interest, so I learn a little here and there at my own pace.
One thing I have learned is that those with the “N” or intuitive trait, are less common than the “S” or sensing trait. As a result the world’s systems and structures are more geared towards sensors, so intuitives can struggle to fit into their surrounding world.
I often struggle to fit into my surrounding environment. I have simply learned to “play along” to survive. It makes life easier, but at the same time I feel so fake or alienated from what I consider “reality.”
College is a perfect example. I love to learn. I am a student at heart, and always love discovering a new piece of information. However, I really hate the traditional ways of how college trys to teach. It seems to stifle my thought process by requiring stupid standards such as memorization and timed tests.
Really? This is what “learning” boils down to? Tests and memorizing don’t capture the essence of knowing something, only regurgitating facts for the sake of a grade.
As an engineering student, I believe everything I have to learn is taught in a backwards fashion. We learn principles of math, physics, and etc..but the grand purpose or “big picture” isn’t made very clear. At least from the beginning. We are given a path of classes to take, but taught to take it as is and not question the why or how these classes work together.
The further I get in my studies, the more I realize how it all works together. For example; calculus really didn’t make sense to me until I took courses in physics that actually explain how calculus works in an applicable manner. Before that, it was too abstract and unconnected to the world around me. I managed to get through it, but to me it was just shuffling numbers and equations around to acheive the right answer for a grade, nothing more. I often thought, if physics were explained first and it’s applications, calculus would have been so much easier to understand.
This continues with the higher level physics courses I had to take that were heavy in theory, but null in relation to applicable uses. When I started taking courses in upper level civil (my emphasis), only then did I really start to understand what I should have supposedly known by taking the general theory courses such as thermodynamics, fluid mechanics, dynamics, and etc..
I would have greater understanding by taking the courses that only require minimal knowledge of a heavy theory course, then work deeper into those theories once the “big picture” is put in place. I could have received a better grade, but no, learn meaningless details first, then we will teach you simpler ways to apply it. This is such B.S. and completely backwards to my thought process!
Thus said, I often bitch and complain my way through college because the method currently implored is ass backwards to actual “learning.”
Perhaps sensors feel differently, IDK, it is frustrating as hell for me! I need to see the end result and fruitation of a concept first, then start to understand the details necessary to achieve that end result. If I have to muddle through meaningless details first without understanding their significance in the first place, I struggle. I tend to think in metaphorical terms anyway, so a small task before me must play a part into the whole machine at work. If I cannot connect a small task to the machine as a whole, I do not see the point and cannot make sense of it. I actually can be very good at details and relish them, but I must simply understand why those details are necessary in the first place and give them proper direction. If no vision is present, I have no guidance into what the details should look like. There is no point in making detailed “messes.” I am only interested in making detailed masterpieces. /p>
Fate surprises you sometimes. I just think you can have a plan in life, a good one, but that plan isn’t necessarily what fate has in store for you. Sometimes what fate thinks you need is so much better than what you had planned.
Holly Martin, Fairytale Beginnings (via bookquotesbook)
All my life I have grappled with my own self-driven need to acquire more and more knowledge constantly and the consequential spiralling thoughts of worthlessness when I cannot comprehend a theory.
When I was young it was a fairly innocent and vaguely competitive trait. I had to have read the most books out of my classmates. I had to score the highest on my reading comprehensions. And when the row of yellow stars next to my name on the poster hanging from the door of my first grade classroom I would grin with silent satisfaction and return quietly to my seat.
As I got older however, this constant need to accumulate more and more knowledge became a sort of complex. No matter how much I succeeded, it was never good enough for myself. Often times I found I couldn’t internalize my own successes or realize that they were direct products of late nights spent studying and days spent agonizing over a single page essay. In my own mind, I am consistently inferior to my peers.
And so, as I have grown and matured, I have become nothing more than my intellect. Without it I have nothing, I am nothing more, and so here lies the root of my problem with intellect. Perhaps these are the very reasons as to why I sympathize so much with the likes of Sir Arthur Canon Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes and other idiosyncratic minds. Just as the great detective said in The Adventure of the Mazarin Stone “I am a brain, Watson. The rest of me is a mere appendix.”
I felt feverish in the middle of the day, still I went about doing what needs to be done. Work has been so busy lately and adding to it the pressures of applying for another job. Just came from a 16 hour duty and still I need to wake up early. I feel so tired and I think I'm going to be sick. Then it struck me. I didn't realize that I've been around too many people lately and just didn't have my alone time.