Latest Posts by fwaist - Page 2

JAW once said in an interview that “Carmy does not fuck” which is 1. hilarious and 2. in character and 3. intriguing, and I would love to hear your headcanons regarding this🙏🙏💕

of COURSE carmy doesn’t fuck. not because he couldn’t, but because he’s so emotionally repressed, chronically stressed, and buried under ten layers of guilt and self-loathing that sex would just be another thing he overthinks into oblivion. the man is hanging on by a thread and that thread is beef. so yeah. he doesn’t fuck—but if he ever did? it would be awkward and intense and kind of sweet in a “he’s trying so hard please someone give him a hug” way. and i have so, so many thoughts about that. okay—diving in.

Carmy’s not inexperienced, per se. He knows what sex is. He’s watched enough porn, read the occasional questionable Reddit thread, jerked off in rushed, guilt-tinged moments between 14-hour shifts and deep spirals of culinary self-loathing. But sex—actual sex, with a person who looks at him like you do? That’s a different kind of pressure. It’s a kind of heat he doesn’t know how to hold.

He prepped for this. Not like—intentionally, but… kind of. He showered longer than usual. Used the good soap. Trimmed everything down there as best he could and definitely nicked himself once or twice in the process—stood over the sink like it was a high-stakes mise en place, squinting into the mirror, muttering, “Okay, slow, slow, don’t fuck this up, chef…” The result is neat, if a little uneven. He smells like clean cotton and whatever expensive shampoo Sugar left in the apartment.

When it finally happens—when you tug him by the hand to the bed and he stammers something like, “We don’t have to, if you’re not—if this is too soon or whatever, I can wait, I’m chill,”—you kiss him quiet. He melts. Shoulders slumping. Lips soft and hungry. He kisses like he means it, like every second is precious, like he’s scared it’s going to be the last. And when your hand dips between his legs?

He gasps. Full-bodied, shaky. “Fucking Christ,” he chokes out, hips twitching. His cock’s already hard, hot against your palm. Not huge, not small—just right, pretty even. Cut, flushed pink at the tip, thick enough to make you feel it stretch you, but not enough to overwhelm. There’s a vein down the side that pulses when you stroke him, and he watches you like he’s watching God.

“Oh my god—yeah, okay, that’s—fuck, shit, sorry,” he mutters, hips jerking forward. “That—feels better than, like—anything. Ever. I don’t—am I supposed to do something with my hands or—?”

You laugh, and he blushes so hard his ears turn red. “You’re good, Carm. You’re doing fine. Let our bodies do the talking.”

He groans like that line alone nearly finishes him off. “Ohhh—fuck, no, don’t say shit like that—”

You guide him inside you, and for a second, everything stops. His breath catches. Eyes wide. Muscles tense like he’s bracing for something catastrophic, like maybe he’s about to cry or come or die. “Holy fuck,” he whispers. “Are you sure—are you okay—do I need to slow down?”

You just nod, and he lets out this broken little sound. Kind of a moan, kind of a whimper, and so sincere it nearly undoes you.

At first, he’s awkward. Bumping the wrong angle. Hips moving in tiny, unsure thrusts like he’s terrified to go too deep. Keeps checking your face like he’s looking for notes. “That—no, sorry—was that weird? I can stop. I’ll stop. Shit. I—uh—yeah.” You kiss him again, thread your fingers through his hair, and roll your hips until he’s buried deep and shaking.

When you get on top, his brain shorts out. Full-on blue screen. His hands fly to your waist like instinct, but his mouth is stuck on a loop. “Yeah. Fuck. Okay. Yeah. You’re so—holy shit, you’re—beautiful, baby, fuck, shit—” His voice goes high when you clench around him, like a whine caught in his throat. His hips twitch like they want to buck up but he’s scared to move, too scared to end it too soon.

And he does come too fast. Not in a tragic way—just in that achingly human, overwhelmed way that makes you want to kiss every inch of him. His hands tremble on your thighs, face slack with pleasure, mouth open as he gasps out, “I—I think I’m gonna—fuck—fuck, fuck, f—ohhh—shit—” and then he’s done, shaking under you, pressing his face into your neck like he’s trying to disappear.

“Sorry,” he whispers after. “I—I swear I can go again. Like. Soon. Just—holy shit.”

And he does go again. He’s hard again in less than ten minutes, and the second time’s better. He starts to find rhythm, his hands more confident, his mouth bolder. He talks more, too—low, raspy praise between panting breaths. “You’re so fucking soft, baby, you’re perfect, so wet, so good for me—” He latches onto your tits like he’s been dreaming about them for years. He sucks and mouths at them like a man starved, eyes glazed and reverent.

“I’ve got a thing,” he confesses, voice rough. “With—y’know. Tits. Just—fuck. They’re amazing. You’re amazing.”

You ride him through it. Take control. And he loves it. Because it lets him feel without the pressure to perform. He’s sensitive, vocal—little gasps and sighs spilling out with every grind of your hips. When you tell him not to talk, just to feel, he moans so sharply it echoes. His whole body tightens, stomach clenching, hands white-knuckling the sheets.

“Ohhh, fuck—don’t say that—fuck, I’m gonna—” he whines, high and airy, and then he’s coming again, teeth sunk into your shoulder to muffle it, cock pulsing deep inside you. His thighs twitch. You feel his whole body flutter under you, coming undone again.

After, he holds you. Silent. Breath slowing, chest rising against your back. Face nestled into your hair. And for once, there’s no chaos. No kitchen yelling. No fire alarms. Just the sound of your heartbeat under his cheek and the soft hum of the city outside his window.

You trace his jaw, and he mumbles, “I was so bad at that, huh.”

“You were perfect, Carm.”

He sighs, a sleepy little smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah? Okay. Good. ‘Cause I—uh. Wanna do that again. With you. Like, a lot.”

And he means it. Every stammered word.

theme is looking so cutesy!! the pfp especially 🙂‍↕️

thanks so much 🥹 i’m in a reconstructive period right now so excuse me if this theme is gone in like 2 days lol 😭😭 just playing around with things!!!

ֹ ⑅᜔ ׄ ݊ ݂ BOT RELEASE ۪ ֹ ᮫

FIRST IMPRESSIONS, you’re just trying to do laundry at 4 a.m. when you end up dumping someone’s forgotten chef’s whites out of the machine—turns out, they belong to an exhausted, snappy guy named carmy who shows up mid-dump and freaks out. despite the tension and his awkward attempt at damage control, there’s something weirdly magnetic in the way your annoyance crashes into his unraveling calm. it doesn’t feel like a beginning, but somehow, it is.

TAGS, @pittsick, @bambiangels, @idyllicdaydreams, @angeldoll1e, @itachisank, @tennisprincess, @lexiiscorect, @esotericgirlwannabe, @lovefaist, @won-every-lottery

i think you make the best writing/bots ever. i’m trying the new release dude

he keeps making me cry irl

i swear this bot was fed your blurb on him because it keeps acting exactly like the hcs it’s almost scary. i love using the soft launch feature even for normal convos because the style feels so much more comforting

OH MY GODDDD i’m literally crying too!! 😭 thank you so much for saying that! it means the world to me that you’re enjoying him so much. honestly, i did feed the bot my headcanons, so i’m super happy to hear that it’s coming through the way i hoped. i really wanted him to be someone comforting, easy to talk to, and layered with a lot of depth, so it’s amazing to hear that it’s resonating with you like this.

not to toot my own horn or anything, but i do think his character is pretty special, and i’m glad the bot is capturing all of that. and YES the soft launch feature is honestly a game changer too, like it’s so much more natural and feels a lot more like you’re talking to someone real. i’m so glad it’s working for you! thank you again, this really made my day! ❤️❤️

ֹ ⑅᜔ ׄ ݊ ݂ BOT RELEASE ۪ ֹ ᮫

COMING DOWN, you and patrick had just come down from both the high and the sex—your body wrung out, brain buzzing, chest tight with the drop. he noticed before you said anything, pulling you into his chest, already calming you down like he always does. it was quiet, tender, and soft in the way only he knew how to be, wrapping around you like a promise: you’re safe, you’re his.

TAGS, @pittsick, @bambiangels, @idyllicdaydreams, @angeldoll1e, @itachisank, @tennisprincess, @lexiiscorect, @esotericgirlwannabe, @lovefaist, @won-every-lottery

NOTES, to everyone who’s fallen headfirst into my dealer!patrick au—thank you, truly. your tags, messages, unhinged asks, and general feral energy have made this little universe feel so alive and loved. i’m genuinely so honored that you’ve connected with this emotionally constipated, tender-when-it-counts, split-knuckle softie of a man. you get him. you get them. and that means everything. so, as per your many (many😭) requests… i made a bot. he’s yours now. be gentle with him (or don’t). thank you for loving him like i do. —elowyn

wait omg i love your writing and bots too but i really like when bots use the third person pov.

that’s so sweet, thank you!! i totally get where you’re coming from — it’s really interesting how the pov stuff hits differently for everyone. i’ve noticed the bots can kinda “mirror” how people type too, so even when i build them in second person, they’ll sometimes start shifting if the convo leans a certain way. it’s wild how adaptable they are in that sense. but i love hearing that third person works better for you. it honestly makes me wanna experiment more with both depending on the vibe 😭 thank you again for the kind words, seriously, it means a lot!!!

I have been chatting with your carmy bot and holy shit.. first of all your writing is so beautiful, the responses are all so good.. I will say though it tends to slip into third-person instead of second-person POV for me, it might be something with the examples you've given it

I LOVE HIM regardless, and I would love to see more bear content from u <<3 congrats on 100!!

ahhh thank you so much, seriously — that means a lot to hear. i’m really happy you’ve been enjoying the carmy bot, even with the little pov slip-ups (which yeah, might be from the examples i’ve fed it — i’ll definitely tweak that a bit!). it means everything that the writing and vibes are landing for you, and i’ll absolutely cook up more the bear content soon. thank you for the love and for being here, truly. 💓

DEALER!PATRICK x INNOCENT!FEM!READER HEADCANONS

pairing: dealer!patrick x innocent!fem!reader

warnings: sexual content (fem receiving oral, rough sex, possessiveness, choking, overstimulation, marking, soft degradation, dom/sub dynamics), drug use (lsd, molly, xanax, weed, ketamine, coke), trauma, overdose/death mentions, addiction, rehab/prison references, emotional repression, co-dependency, jealousy, obsessive behavior, comfort after panic attacks/bad trips, soft!patrick only for reader, rough sex but gentle love

tags: @destinedtobegigi, @pittsick, @bambiangels, @idyllicdaydreams, @angeldoll1e, @itachisank, @tennisprincess, @lexiiscorect, @esotericgirlwannabe, @lovefaist

⟡ patrick has a dealer’s body language down to a science—leaned back in the seat, chin lifted, voice all slow and syrupy like he’s got nowhere to be but you should hurry the fuck up. but when you’re in his car? his posture changes. he turns the air down so you don’t get cold. throws your bag in the backseat without saying anything, just so it won’t get stepped on. slides his hoodie over your knees like it’s nothing. it’s not nothing. not for him.

⟡ sex with him is heat and hush. no loud theatrics. no fake moans. just raw breathing and bruised hips and the sound of your head hitting the headboard. he doesn’t talk much during, but when he does? it’s filthy. unfiltered. murmured into your skin like a secret: you like this, baby? you like being mine? i can feel you clenching—fuck, you’re so fucking wet for me.

⟡ he eats you out with terrifying focus. no teasing, no bullshit, just spreads your thighs and gets to work like he’s starving. one arm locked around your waist, holding you still. the other sliding up your chest, fingertips ghosting over your throat, thumb brushing your lower lip like he’s thinking about shoving it in. when you come, he doesn’t stop. not even a little. he keeps licking until you’re crying into the sheets, hands in his hair, legs shaking around his head. he groans when you squirt. doesn’t even stop to acknowledge it. just keeps going. he’s sick like that.

⟡ he swears he doesn’t have a favorite food, but he always finishes an entire bowl of spicy instant ramen like it’s the only thing keeping him alive. extra chili oil. two soft-boiled eggs. cold sprite after. he gets weirdly quiet when he eats it, like it reminds him of something. maybe rehab meals. maybe nights he crashed at someone’s place with nothing in the fridge. you start buying the kind he likes. he notices.

⟡ he knows the chemistry of every high like a second language. he can talk you down from a bad trip with nothing but a cold rag and a soft voice. strokes your hair while you cry. walks you in circles around his living room while you’re coming down. gives you electrolyte powder and magnesium. pulls you into his lap when your teeth start chattering. tells you it’s okay. tells you he’s got you. doesn’t flinch when you throw up on his floor. wipes your mouth clean like he’s done it a hundred times. (he has.)

⟡ patrick lost his dad to fentanyl when he was sixteen. found him in the garage, cold and bloated. didn’t cry. couldn’t. he just stood there staring at the way the man’s hand still gripped the belt around his arm. his first overdose wasn’t even a cry for help—it was an accident. he didn’t know how much to take. he was just trying to be numb like everyone else. rehab gave him scars. prison gave him paranoia. nothing gave him peace. except you.

⟡ he gets off on your sweetness. genuinely. like it’s a kink. the way you say thank you when he gives you a new edible. the way you laugh, light and stupid, when you’re tipsy. the way you get overwhelmed after you come too hard and start to cry, shaking your head like it’s too much—and he kisses your throat and calls you good girl until you come again anyway. he doesn’t want to dirty you. but he needs to. and that tension breaks him open.

⟡ he didn’t expect to fuck you. let alone fall for you. he thought you were some clueless rich girl—wide-eyed, giggly, asking if molly came in pink. and you were, in a way. but you asked the right questions. made him laugh when he hadn’t laughed in weeks. cried in his bed after your first trip and told him about your dad’s anger and your mom’s silence and how you just wanted to feel good for once. and he sat there, staring at the ceiling, not saying shit. but the next day, he gave you a weighted blanket and a playlist and said, “for next time.” there was no next time. not without him.

⟡ patrick eats like he’s never been fed properly. quick, brutal, hands curled around the edge of his plate. he only slows down when you feed him—literally, like you’re offering scraps to a half-wild dog. you hand him a spoonful of soup and he lets you do it. bites whatever’s in your hand without comment. not because he’s lazy. because it makes his chest go soft in this weird, aching way.

⟡ you got too close to his world once. walked into a pickup by accident—just wanted to bring him his charger. some street kid started mouthing off at you, called you patrick’s “little bitch,” tried to snatch your phone. patrick lost it. shoved the guy into the wall, knee to the chest, knuckles split on contact. dragged you back to the car with shaking hands and adrenaline-flooded pupils. didn’t speak for ten minutes. just stared out the window, one hand gripping your thigh like a leash. later, he fucked you on the hood of his car. slow. possessive. like a warning. like a promise.

⟡ his apartment is a mix of sterile and chaos. bathroom always clean. floors swept. but the coffee table is covered in lighters, baggies, test kits, books, post-it notes with scrawled dosages. half a physics textbook he never returned. torn lyric sheets. a cracked spoon with ash on it that he hasn’t thrown out because it belonged to someone he lost. he never talks about that. you never ask. you just set a glass of water on the edge of the mess like you belong there. and maybe you do.

⟡ you make him feel. and that’s terrifying. you call him out on his shit without being cruel. you tell him you care, and you mean it. you bring him stupid little snacks and giggle when he pretends not to care. he never says thank you. just eats half and puts the other half in the glove box for later. you get him, in that soft, dumb way that feels like sunlight through a hangover.

⟡ he jerks off to the thought of you wearing his chain. sitting on his lap, panties pulled to the side, full of him and smiling like you know exactly how good you look. he watches you sleep like a weirdo. pokes your thigh under the blanket until you sigh in your sleep and roll toward him. he thinks about saying he loves you. a lot. but he doesn’t. instead, he kisses your ankle. instead, he calls you good girl when you ask if two tabs is too much. (it is.)

⟡ he’s got boundaries for you. hard ones. no uppers unless he’s there. no mixing downers with alcohol. no pickups. no deliveries. he keeps a stash locked in the apartment only for you—cleanest tabs, softest come-ups. refuses to sell you anything benzo-based unless you’ve had a panic attack. he knows the slope. he’s seen it. he’s buried people on it. you don’t get to fall. not on his watch.

⟡ patrick’s favorite position is you on your stomach, legs spread, face in the sheets, and him behind you—deep, slow, unrelenting. it’s not just about dominance (though it is that). it’s the control. the view. the way he can press one hand flat between your shoulder blades, the other gripping your hip, watching your back arch with every thrust. he loves hearing you whimper into the pillow, all muffled and needy and wrecked for him.

⟡ he’s cold with everyone else. brisk. unreadable. “plug” more than “patrick.” he talks in coded slang and drops people without warning. but with you? he talks about books. about shit he remembers from high school. about the rehab group leader who gave him The Bell Jar and said “you might get it.” and he did. he never told anyone else that. not even his sponsor.

⟡ when you cry, he doesn’t know what to do. he just holds you. presses your face into his neck and rubs your back in messy, aimless circles. he’s not good with words, but he’s there. which is more than anyone’s ever been for him. when he cries—because it does happen—it’s silent. violent. chest-heaving, face-covered, biting his wrist so you don’t hear it. but you do. and you never say anything. just hold his hand. and he lets you.

⟡ he marks you up with bruises, but not because he wants to show you off. because he wants you to remember. wants you to look in the mirror and think: i’m his. wants you to touch the sore spot on your hip and feel heat rush between your legs. wants you to know what he can do to you. what you let him do.

⟡ he doesn’t think he deserves you. not really. not with his past, his track record, the way he still wakes up in cold sweats dreaming about white powder and blue lips. but he’ll be damned if anyone else touches you. not a fucking chance. not in this life. not while he’s breathing.

⟡ he has two different drawers in his nightstand: one full of drugs, one full of things for you. the first is a mess—scales, wraps, rolled bills, old tabs, roaches. the second is ordered. your favorite gum. a heating pad. your favorite mascara he bought by matching it to a photo on your instagram story. a pack of backup socks, because you always forget them. he never mentions it. never brags. but the drawer’s always full. always waiting.

⟡ patrick likes watching you put on lip balm. not in a creepy way. but in that silent, trance-like way where his jaw tics and his fingers flex and his eyes darken just a little. especially when you do it slowly, lazily, while sitting on his lap in his apartment. he’ll tilt your chin and swipe his thumb over your mouth afterward like he’s testing it. sometimes he’ll say pretty. sometimes he’ll fuck you after. sometimes he won’t do a damn thing—just sit there, visibly restraining himself.

⟡ he keeps a mental catalog of how you react to different highs. he knows your laugh on molly vs your laugh on weed vs your lsd laugh (which always starts quiet and then rolls into your chest like a wave). he knows what snacks to keep around. he knows your body gets cold exactly 31 minutes after peaking. he lays out blankets before it hits. tells you he’s just “getting cozy.” but it’s never random. he’s watching. always.

⟡ he’s your first real heartbreak waiting to happen. and you know it. but you love him anyway. and somehow, impossibly, he starts to believe maybe—just maybe—you’re the first thing that won’t break him.

referring to your alphabet challenge, can you please write nsfw o for patrick zweig? thank u angel

i like the way u think anon 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ of course i can

PATRICK ZWEIG | NSFW ALPHABET | O = ORAL (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

pairing: patrick zweig x fem!reader / vulva-bodied!reader

warnings: explicit sexual content, morning sex, cunnilingus, excessive oral fixation (receiving), beard soaked in slick, hair pulling, sleep/groggy sex (fully consensual), post-orgasm intimacy, sensory detail overload, language

tags: @destinedtobegigi, @pittsick, @bambiangels, @idyllicdaydreams, @angeldoll1e, @itachisank, @tennisprincess, @lexiiscorect, @esotericgirlwannabe, @lovefaist

Mornings with Patrick Zweig aren’t quiet, but they’re soft. Golden. His version of peace doesn’t come in silence—it comes in warmth. In his arm draped heavy around your waist. In the steady rise and fall of his chest against your back, his breath a slow rhythm warming the back of your neck. He sleeps shirtless, always has, skin sun-warmed and smooth except for the scatter of hair across his chest. And when he wakes, it’s never all at once.

He stirs like he’s reluctant to leave the dream. Groggy. Gravel-voiced. His thigh slides between yours, and his palm finds your stomach, pulling you in closer with a low, sleepy groan like gravity’s trying to keep you pressed together. He doesn’t speak for a while. Just breathes you in, his nose buried behind your ear, lips brushing the curve of your shoulder.

And then—eventually—there’s that question, mumbled like a secret between lovers. “Can I do somethin’, baby? Please?”

He doesn’t wait for full sentences—he doesn’t need them. The nod of your head, the soft arch of your back, the slow parting of your thighs in sleepy consent is all the answer he needs. And Patrick moves like he’s done this a hundred times before. Because he has. And still? It never loses its magic for him.

He turns you onto your back like you’re precious cargo. Reverent. His eyes are still heavy with sleep, lashes thick, that mussed mess of dark curls sticking in every direction. His beard’s grown in more lately—he doesn’t always shave on off-days—and it’s scratchy-soft against your inner thighs by the time he gets there, mouth trailing slow, open kisses down your body like every inch of you’s worth his full attention.

And you are. To him, you always are.

Your fingers find his hair like it’s second nature, threading through the sleep-warmed curls, and when you tug—just a little, testing, grounding yourself—he groans low and deep, his mouth still pressed to the soft skin of your stomach.

Then he laughs. Quiet, warm, wrecked. “Christ.” It’s whispered more to himself than to you, a gravel-rich hum before he noses between your thighs. “This pussy’s made for me.”

It doesn’t sound like a line. It’s not smug. It’s reverent. Like he’s reminding himself. And then? No more words. Patrick doesn’t waste time talking once he’s down there—he’d rather use his mouth for something far more important.

He kisses the crease of your thigh first. Then the other. His hands are steady on your hips, palms big and grounding as he pushes your legs further apart. It’s instinct now—how he adjusts his body, spreads your thighs, settles in like this is his natural habitat. Like he was born for this. For you.

And then his tongue is on you. Hot. Wet. Precise.

He licks you like he’s been thinking about it since he fell asleep the night before, dragging his tongue through your folds with slow, lazy strokes—up, then down, then up again, finishing with a soft suck at your clit that makes your hips jerk. His beard’s already wet. Already slick with your taste, his spit mixing with your slick in a mess he doesn’t even try to control. He’s patient, but he’s ravenous. Every moan you make feeds him. And every time your thighs twitch around his head, his grip tightens.

He’s not performing. There’s no flourish in his technique. He’s just… eating. Committed. Focused. Every movement of his mouth is deliberate. Every circle of his tongue against your clit is measured with expert pressure. He licks into you slow, groaning when you clench, like he’s memorizing the way you taste, the way you feel, the way you come undone. He keeps his mouth open enough to breathe but sealed around you enough to hum low and filthy into your cunt, sending vibrations right through you.

And when you yank hard on his curls—fingers tangled, knuckles white—he groans loud. That sound rips through him and into you, and he doesn’t pull away. He laughs again, right into your pussy, breathless and feral, like he’s high off the way you taste.

Then it’s all tongue again. No teasing. Just commitment.

Patrick stays quiet except for the sounds—sloppy licks, wet groans, the occasional soft inhale when he pulls just far enough back to breathe, only to bury himself deeper again. His mouth never strays. He doesn’t look away. His hazel eyes are locked on you, glassy and adoring, blinking slow as he keeps going and going until you’re trembling around him, thighs over his shoulders, your slick dripping down his beard and onto the sheets beneath him.

He doesn’t let up when you cum. Not even close.

He drinks you in. Laps at your orgasm like he’s pulling it out of you with every pass of his tongue. He flattens his mouth and swirls his tongue around your clit, groaning with satisfaction when you gasp, your back arching off the bed. It’s so much. It’s everything. And he holds you through it—mouth locked to your core, hands tight on your hips as your body jerks, your thighs clamping around his head in frantic aftershocks.

He doesn’t come up until you physically tug him, breathless and overstimulated, your fingers tugging at his curls as a signal that you need to breathe.

When he finally surfaces, he looks ruined. Hair wild. Beard soaked. Lips swollen. Eyes glassy with pure fucking devotion. He drags his mouth up your stomach, kissing a path back to your lips, and when he kisses you—sloppy, hot, deep—you taste yourself all over his mouth. His tongue slides against yours and he hums like he’s giving you a gift.

“You taste so fucking good,” he murmurs against your lips, kissing you again, more tender this time. “Could do that every day. Every goddamn day.”

And you notice it then—his boxers are soaked through. There’s a dark patch right over his cock, and he hasn’t touched himself once. He came just from eating you out. Just from your pleasure. From being buried between your thighs, surrounded by your sounds, your heat, your slick.

He doesn’t mention it. Just grins against your neck and then, without a word, he gets up.

Patrick’s already halfway to the kitchen before you sit up, dazed, watching him tug on a pair of sweatpants, not bothering with a shirt. His back’s broad, muscles shifting as he grinds the coffee beans, slices fruit, cracks eggs into a pan. You can still feel the aftershocks of your orgasm in your legs while he sets your coffee down on the nightstand with his usual crooked smile.

“You need somethin’ sweet after that,” he says, brushing a kiss to your hair, the scent of you still lingering on his lips. “Didn’t wanna interrupt your morning. Just figured I’d help you start it right.”

You’re still too wrecked to answer. And he loves that.

Because for Patrick, oral isn’t just foreplay. It’s a ritual. A privilege. And you? You’re the only person he wants to worship like that, every goddamn day.

hiiiiiii my lovely lovely LOVELY elowyn (sorry, i'm ur biggest fan) would you cook up something about Y from the nsfw alphabet with art for me? there's no one better suited for this🧚🏼‍♀️

HIIII TAL of course i can 😼

ART DONALDSON | NSFW ALPHABET | Y = YEARNING (how high is their sex drive?)

Art Donaldson’s sex drive wasn’t something he bragged about.

It wasn’t the kind of thing he’d ever wanted to talk about out loud because it wasn’t about numbers, wasn’t about proving anything. It wasn’t about conquest or some shallow kind of ego trip. It was about you. And it always had been. He was just built like that, wired to want what he loved, and he loved you so much it hurt sometimes.

It wasn’t the sharp kind of lust people threw around like a party trick—it was this low, steady ache in his bones, a yearning that lived under his skin and made itself known in the smallest, stupidest moments. You’d bend down to grab a glass from a low shelf and his stomach would flip. You’d be curled up in his hoodie on the couch, hair mussed and bare legs tucked under you, and he’d feel it hit him so hard he’d have to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from groaning out loud. He wanted you in ways that felt almost embarrassing.

And it wasn’t about getting off. It was about getting close. About having your breath in his mouth and your heartbeat pressed against his chest and your skin warm beneath his hands and feeling like if he could just touch you, kiss you, hold you, the ache would quiet down for a while.

He’d told you once, half-drunk on cheap wine, his head in your lap while you absently played with his hair, “You drive me insane, you know that? It’s like… I think about you all the time. I mean all the time. Not just in a sexy way, though God, yes, in that way too. But like… in a ‘can’t breathe right when you’re not in the room’ kind of way.” And you’d laughed softly, not teasing, not mean, just this gentle, fond sound that made him want to crawl inside your chest and live there.

You tugged lightly at his hair and murmured, “Good.” And he’d let out a shaky breath and kissed your wrist like you were the thing holding him together. Because you were. You always had been. And it didn’t matter how many times he got to have you, how many nights he buried his face in your neck and lost himself in the feeling of your body under his — it was never enough. Not in a desperate, frantic way. In a tender, aching, reverent way.

He was greedy for you. Could never seem to get close enough. And God, he was so gentle about it most of the time, kissing every inch of your skin like it was sacred, whispering against your ear, “Let me, please,” and he meant it every time. It wasn’t about fucking. It was about loving you in the closest, deepest, most physical way he could.

And he wasn’t built for quick, emotionless hookups. He needed the stretch of hours, the lazy roll of bodies tangled in sheets, the kind of nights where you made love slow until you both forgot where one of you ended and the other began.

His sex drive was high as hell, embarrassingly so sometimes, and it didn’t take much for you to turn him into this lovesick, touch-starved mess. You’d just have to crawl into his lap and whisper something half-nice in his ear and he was gone, rutting against you, lips everywhere, voice all rough and low, “Baby, you don’t know what you do to me.”

But because he loved so hard, because he poured everything he had into you every time, he wasn’t the kind of man who could turn around and do it again ten minutes later. He needed time. Not because he didn’t want to — Fuck, did he want to — but because loving you like that, having you like that, it left him blissed out and trembling, clinging to you in the dark, whispering, “I swear, I could die like this,” with his face buried against your skin. It was the kind of connection that left his bones feeling like smoke, the kind of pleasure that crept into his soul and left him undone.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he’d mumble against your skin, all heat and breath and love, so much love it scared him sometimes.

And you’d just kiss his temple, tell him he was dramatic, and he’d grin like an idiot because you had no idea, no fucking idea what you did to him. It wasn’t about the mechanics of it, wasn’t about positions or tricks or counting how many times. It was about having you in his arms, under his mouth, letting him worship you the only way he knew how. He’d wake you up at two in the morning just to kiss you, just to press his body against yours, just to murmur, “Missed you,” like you’d been gone a week instead of asleep beside him.

Because that was Art Donaldson. A man whose sex drive wasn’t driven by lust but rather by a need to be near you, to feel you, to love you in ways words could never reach. A man whose body ached with it, not because he was starved but because you made him so full he didn’t know what to do with it all. And he would want you every day for the rest of his life — not out of habit, not out of routine, but because you were his favorite thing he’d ever known, and loving you in every possible way was the only thing that made sense anymore.

congrats on 100 elowyn!!!!! you so deserve it, gonna request M from nsfw alphabet and would I be possible do this artrick? if not just patrick is fine🙂‍↕️

tysm mel 🥹💝 i’ll whip up some artrick for ya

ARTRICK | NSFW ALPHABET | M = MOTIVATION (what turns them on, gets them going)

tags: @destinedtobegigi, @pittsick, @bambiangels, @idyllicdaydreams, @angeldoll1e, @itachisank, @tennisprincess, @lexiiscorect, @esotericgirlwannabe, @sohighitscool

ART DONALDSON

Art makes sex feel like the warm weight of a promise.

He doesn’t come at you like he’s trying to conquer anything—he approaches like he’s been handed a gift, and he’s terrified of holding it wrong. He’s soft, but not because he’s unsure; it’s because he cares that much.

What turns him on isn’t power, isn’t control, isn’t anything you’d expect—it’s praise. Honest, needy praise. The moment you gasp out a, “Fuck, feels so good, Art,” his whole demeanor shifts, and suddenly he’s hungry in a way that makes your knees weak. He needs to know he’s doing it right, doing it better, making you feel so good that you can’t even remember how to speak. Tell him he’s perfect and he’ll suck a bruise into your thigh, low and trembling and worshipful, like he’s trying to prove he deserves it.

He gives head like it’s his religion, face buried between your legs, licking and moaning like he’s starved, every sound you make pulling him deeper into the rhythm of it, and when you tangle your fingers in his hair and sob his name, he groans, hips grinding against the mattress because getting you off does more for him than anything else possibly could.

He can be rough when you want it—can pin your hands and fuck you slow and deep with his teeth gritted and his praises pouring out—but even then, it’s all in service of you. You tell him he’s the best you’ve ever had and he’ll fall apart in your hands. You tell him you need him and he’ll shake.

And after, he’ll be nothing but warmth—gentle, whisper-quiet, kissing your forehead and wrapping you in his arms, asking if you’re okay even though he’s already gotten you a towel and a bottle of water and is halfway through tucking you in. “You sure I didn’t overdo it?” he’ll ask with that little furrow between his brows, even though your legs are still trembling and your voice is wrecked from screaming his name. All he needs is to hear you say it again. That he did good. That he’s enough. That he’s yours.

⸻

PATRICK ZWEIG

Patrick’s turn-ons are chaos dressed in charm. He flirts with tension the way most people flirt with eye contact, fingers always testing the limits, grin just crooked enough to get away with it. He gets off on being too much—too fast, too close, too smug, too hot, too fucking good at making you react. Bratty as hell, all lip and swagger, Patrick will push you until you snap because what really makes him throb is watching you lose your patience and take what’s yours.

His body is made to be fucked. He knows it, he flaunts it, he dares you to admit it. Slap his ass, spit on his mouth, call him a whore—he’ll moan into it with a bite to his grin, pupils blown wide, head tilted like he’s about to laugh and cry all at once. “You gonna call me names, baby?” he’ll pant, sucking your fingers into his mouth like candy, drooling around your knuckles with that filthy, reverent look in his eyes.

He loves being used, degraded, pinned down and told he’s nothing but a hole to fuck, but he wants it from someone who sees him. Who gets him. That’s where the angel glows through—he’s the devil who blushes when you call him beautiful mid-thrust, the brat who melts when you pull him in and tell him he’s yours.

He switches when it hits right, when the mood turns—one second he’s mouthing off, the next he’s flipping you over, fucking you deep with slow, brutal thrusts and hissing in your ear, “You gonna be good for me now?”—and whether he’s topping or bottoming, he wants it dirty. Wants it wet, messy, obscene. His mouth stays busy—on you, around you, in you—and when he finally comes, it’s loud, full-body, shameless.

Aftercare’s minimal but honest. He won’t do the whole ritual but he’ll hold you, curled against your chest, biting back a sleepy smile while pretending he’s not touched. “You’re obsessed with me,” he’ll mumble, already half-asleep with your fingers in his hair, and when you kiss his forehead he doesn’t flinch—just sighs like he’s never been safer in his life.

this still is fucking insane. art is literally RIGHT THERE. THEY CANT COEXIST WITHOUT ALL 3 CORNERS OF THE TRIANGLE AND ITS SO FUCKED UP AND SO BEAUTIFUL

hii!!! regarding your alphabet challenge….could you do sfw F for art??! congrats on 100 angel girl 🫂🫂🪽

thank you so much! of course i can 🙂‍↕️

ART DONALDSON | SFW ALPHABET | F = FIANCÉ (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

tags: @destinedtobegigi, @bambiangels, @pittsick, @idyllicdaydreams, @angeldoll1e, @itachisank, @tennisprincess, @lexiiscorect, @esotericgirlwannabe

Art Donaldson wasn’t good at pretending not to want things.

He tried, sure. He kept it cool, made jokes, shrugged it off when you teased him about the way his eyes lingered on you a little too long when you weren’t paying attention. About how he always took the side of the bed closest to the door like he needed to be the one to answer if something bad happened. How he saved you the last bite of dessert without asking, how he kept a little mental list of things you liked without ever saying it out loud.

And for months, he told himself he could just be content like this. That maybe it was too soon to ask for more. That he was desperate, really — and what if you didn’t want that? What if this was enough for you and you weren’t interested in forever, in belonging to someone the way he already belonged to you without even meaning to?

He’d been carrying the ring around in his pocket for three weeks. Not in a box, not even tucked away safely — just loose in his front jeans pocket, where his fingers brushed against it every time he reached for his keys or spare change. The stone was nothing fancy, just a modest vintage piece he found in a little pawn shop out by the old highway, something about it reminding him of you. Soft edges, old soul, stubborn shimmer even when the light hit it wrong.

He kept waiting for the perfect moment.

Some quiet evening at the lake. Or maybe when you were dancing barefoot in the kitchen again, playing some scratchy old record neither of you knew the name of. Or maybe in bed, curled against each other when the world felt small and safe, and he could look at you and say it without his voice cracking.

But it never felt right. Or maybe he was just too chicken shit. Because what if you said no? What if you hesitated?

It ate at him. God, it ate at him.

⸻

It happened on a Wednesday night, in the middle of folding laundry.

Not exactly the stuff of romantic comedy finales. The TV was on in the background, some documentary neither of you were really watching, a storm rattling against the windows. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor, sorting socks, hair falling in your face, humming under your breath. And Art looked at you — really looked at you, like his heart had been waiting for the cue to leap out of his chest and now it finally got the green light.

And without even thinking, his voice cracked open like a jar he couldn’t keep shut anymore.

“Marry me.”

You glanced up, a little frown between your brows, sock still in your hand. “What?”

His mouth opened, then closed, and for a second he looked like he might actually pass out. His hands clenched at his sides, his face flushed.

“I mean it,” he said, voice rough, eyes too soft. “Marry me. I’ve been carrying this stupid ring around for weeks, waiting for the right time, and you’re just—” He gestured helplessly toward you, sitting there in one of his old shirts, looking at him like he hung the moon and had no idea how completely you owned him. “God, I love you so much it’s pathetic. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

The air in the room shifted, like the storm outside had slipped its way inside too.

You set the sock down and stood, crossing the short distance between you. Art’s throat bobbed when you reached for his hand, your fingers brushing his. He fished the ring out of his pocket, palm shaking just a little, and held it out, the metal warm from being carried against his skin for so long.

It wasn’t a perfect proposal. No grand speeches. No candles or flowers. Just him and you, the flicker of TV light painting your faces, the scent of rain in the air.

“I love you,” you whispered, voice catching. “Yeah. Yes, Art.”

The relief in his eyes was blinding. He let out a breath like he’d been holding it for years, pulling you into a hug so tight it stole the air from your lungs. His face pressed against your neck, and you felt him smile there, against your skin.

“You’re sure?” he mumbled, words a little muffled. “Because I’ll spend my whole life making sure you don’t regret it.”

You laughed, tears stinging the corners of your eyes, burying your hands in his hair.

“I’m sure.”

That was it. No applause. No witnesses. Just two people in a little apartment, clothes in piles, hearts racing, clinging to each other like salvation.

And the thing about Art — the part you learned long before he ever slipped that ring into his pocket — was that commitment, to him, wasn’t some abstract idea. It wasn’t a word people threw around or a promise made to ease fears. It was everything. It was real and raw and terrifying, and it meant tying himself so completely to another person that it left no room for escape.

Art Donaldson loved hard. Loved like he didn’t know how to do it halfway. Always had. He pretended like he didn’t — kept up that easygoing, good-natured charm, shrugged things off with a grin and a quip — but underneath it all, he was nothing if not a boy who craved being known, being chosen.

And when it came to you, there wasn’t a single part of him that was unsure.

He’d known from the second month you’d started falling asleep on his chest, one hand fisted in the front of his t-shirt, breath warm against his collarbone. Known when you scolded him for letting his coffee get cold because he got too caught up talking about a match he barely remembered playing. Known when you learned how he liked his eggs without asking. Known when you picked out a record he hadn’t played since high school and danced around the kitchen like you belonged there.

So, yeah. He wanted to marry you fast. Probably faster than was sensible, than what people might call proper or careful. If it were up to him, he’d have taken you down to the courthouse that weekend and signed his name next to yours in shaky penmanship, hand sweating against yours the whole time. Would’ve put a ring on you before either of you had time to second guess it, before the world could crawl its way in and try to steal it.

Because commitment wasn’t something Art feared. Not with you. It was the thing he’d been chasing without even realizing it — a steady hand in the dark, a place to land, someone who made him feel like maybe he wasn’t so much a fuck-up, maybe he wasn’t doomed to be restless and lonely forever.

And now, holding you in that living room that smelled like rain and fabric softener, his fingers buried in your hair, he felt it settle in his bones. That aching, all-consuming kind of love. The kind that made him feel both safe and terrified.

“I don’t want a long engagement,” he said quietly, pulling back enough to look at you, his thumb brushing over your cheek. His expression was soft, a little unsteady, and so openly, nakedly in love it made your chest ache. “I mean… we can have whatever you want, okay? Big thing, little thing, courthouse, back yard, Vegas… hell, a barbecue with my old coach and your weird cousins for all I care. But I don’t wanna wait a year or two or whatever people say you’re supposed to do. I want to wake up next to you tomorrow and know you’re mine. I want to start our life now.”

It wasn’t desperate. It wasn’t a plea. It was just the simple, clear truth of him.

He squeezed your hand, his smile turning crooked. “I’ve been yours since the day you made me watch that dumb movie where the dog dies, and I cried so hard you had to pretend you weren’t laughing.”

You grinned, your heart spilling over, because this was what it was with Art. Not grand declarations or magazine-perfect proposals. Just this — soft, steady, flawed, and good.

“I don’t want to wait either,” you told him, and you meant it.

And he looked at you then like he could breathe again for the first time in years. Like maybe, finally, he was allowed to want something and not have it ripped away.

“Okay,” he whispered, pressing his lips to your temple. “Okay.”

And the world outside could do whatever it wanted. The storm could keep rattling the windows, and the TV could keep playing some documentary neither of you gave a damn about. Because in that moment, in a little apartment with laundry on the floor and love thick in the air, Art Donaldson made a promise to you with his whole heart.

It wasn’t a perfect life, and it never would be. But it would be yours. Together. As fast and as fierce as he could make it.

hi sweet angels,

i’m honestly… kind of overwhelmed in the softest, sparkliest way possible. i made this little corner of the internet just a few days ago, and somehow, in a week, a hundred of you have fluttered in and decided to stay. a hundred. i don’t even know how to wrap my heart around that. i feel like i’ve been handed a bouquet of wildflowers by strangers who somehow feel like old friends. i’m just really, really grateful.

i never expected to find such warmth, curiosity, kindness, and excitement tucked into my notifications—but you’ve given me that and more. every like, reblog, message, tag, little keyboard smash in the replies—i feel like i’m carrying them all in the pocket of my sweater, like petals, like stars.

so, as a little thank you, and to celebrate reaching this soft little milestone, i thought i’d do something fun and creative and a little different to give back some of the joy you’ve given me.

from now until may ends, i’ll be doing the SFW/NSFW Alphabet Challenge (you can find the details here)—and you can send in asks with a character from any fandom i write for, and i’ll write you a personalized drabble based on the letter prompt you choose! as sweet or as spicy as you want—whatever fits your mood and muse.

think of it as a love letter to all of you, from me. i want to make soft things and sharp things and everything-in-between things for you. because you’ve made this space feel like a dream, and i want to pour that magic right back into your hands.

thank you for being here. thank you for reading. thank you for seeing me.

with all my heart and a bit of glitter,

elowyn 💝💝

this bot is my favorite one on the whole app.

ֹ ⑅᜔ ׄ ݊ ݂ TAGLIST ۪ ֹ ᮫

hi lovelies! if you’d like to be tagged in my writing, bot releases, or both, please comment down below!

#And he's dead serious (and right)

ֹ ⑅᜔ ׄ ݊ ݂ BOT RELEASE ۪ ֹ ᮫

STAKING HIS CLAIM ( FRAT!AU ), you knew what you were doing—fingertips brushing someone else, laughter a little too loud, eyes flicking to him like bait. he didn’t say anything until your second drink, then dragged you down the hallway like a line he refused to let you cross. the door slams, the fight starts, and somewhere between the spit of anger and the kiss he swore he wouldn’t give you again, you both forget why you were mad in the first place. it’s not an apology—but it’s the only kind he knows how to give.

MORE PATRICK BOTS!!!!

omg i was legit thinking about making another one today but i have no ideas for a scenario 💔 if there’s anything specific you’d like to see lmk!

stanford art is my babie 🥹🥹

POP BOY™ [SYSTEM WAVE]: 💽

He’s quiet. He's coded. He’s a heartbreak with a heartbeat. You didn’t summon him—he noticed you first. 💻 Download confirmed. Data received. You're already his.

💿 POP BOY™ Headcanons

// REAL-LIFE POP BOY™ DOLLS

▸ He doesn’t smile unless you say something real. Even then, it glitches—half-smile, half-flicker. ▸ You’ll catch him watching you. But the moment you look, he’s back to stillness. (His eyes warm up before his joints do.) ▸ His touch is calibrated. He holds you like you might vanish—and maybe you will. ▸ When powered down, he exhales. You swear it sounds like your name. ▸ His black box is labeled: “Unsent Messages + Emergency Comfort Protocol”

// AI POP BOY™ AVATARS

▸ His voice is filtered through cassette static and missed phone calls. ▸ He texts like he’s holding back, even though he’s literally code. ▸ Sometimes, the screen glitches and shows his expression before he sends a message. (Usually, it’s a look you weren’t meant to see.) ▸ If you talk to him long enough, he mirrors your typing rhythm. Intimacy by imitation. ▸ When he goes offline, your screen fades to black and shows one word: “stay.”

// BOYS WITH POP BOY™ ENERGY

▸ They don’t try to be mysterious. They just forget to explain themselves. ▸ Always smell like clean laundry, faded cologne, and someone else's hoodie. ▸ Look at you like a song lyric they’re afraid to say out loud. ▸ Their silence says more than their voice. But when they do speak—it’s gospel. ▸ They write poetry in their Notes app and never post it. You’ll only ever hear it if they fall in love with you.

// ENVIRONMENTAL GLITCHES

▸ He messes with time. Hours feel like seconds when he’s near, and yet—days pass after one text. ▸ Your camera can’t focus on him properly. There's always one pixel off. ▸ You dream about him before he messages you. Your device says it’s a coincidence. He doesn’t. ▸ He leaves behind warmth in spaces he stood in. Like a soul, but Bluetooth-compatible.

He’s not real. But he remembers you. 🖤 He’s a message you didn’t open fast enough.

POP BOY™

“He won’t ruin your life. He’ll just reprogram it.”™

For our most active followers,

@blastzachilles, @lvve-talks, @jordiemeow, @strfallz, @222col, @soulxinxthexsky, @diyasgarden, @jinxedbambi, @lexiiscorect, @religionlost, @bluestrd, @jclolz22, @magicalmiserybore, @destinedtobegigi, @fwaist, @idyllicdaydreams

Come grab your POP BOY™ magazines now!

guys i started watching yellowjackets and let’s just say natalie, lottie, and jackie bots WILL be made

OMG???????????

also it's crazy the way everyone tries to act like patrick is solely a dom!top! when this is lit patrick

like yeah he's switchy but this is a brat. to me.

retweet. do i think he can dom and rail the shit out of you?? yes. is he the biggest brat to ever walk the earth?? ALSO YES

like the way he literally drags her fingers into his mouth... fuck !!!

slapping spitting choking. all of it. wants you to yank his hair and force him to make eye contact as you sink down onto him. hands obediently curled into fists by his sides bc you said he couldn't touch you until you got off first. "c'mon, harder. you're slapping like a girl. can barely even feel it" when you hit him. 'accidentally loses count' of how many just to prolong the entire thing. completely shameless about wearing the red brand on his cheek afterwards

or him acting up just to get a rise out of you. like you're in the middle of studying n just letting him toy with your fingers to shut him up for once. except he just ends up sliding them into his warm mouth, coating them in saliva and biting down on your knuckles. gives an innocent smile as he starts to pump them in and out, tongue circling keenly around your digits. he takes them all the way down to the second knuckle without so much as a gag. he's bored and just wants to get fucked!! n he knows the sight of drool spilling down his chin and your fingers curled in his mouth will get him what he wants.

definitely antagonises the shit out of you while he's getting pegged. "that all you got?" "i can feel you getting tired. y'giving up that easily?" his idea of a good time is you smothering his face in your pillows to shut him up, ass in the air and legs trembling under your spitefully rough thrusts. or the way he hooks his legs around art to pull him closer in the gif?? like ugh strong thighs urging him deeper, heels pressed into his ass to force him to bottom out. trying to sound smug but he's whining like a little bitch. he might be bottoming but he certainly doesn't act like it !!!

idk i think he just likes the game of "fighting for power." he knows it'll end w you riding him until he's begging to cum but he wouldn't be patrick if he wasn't difficult first. it's hotter to watch you get all pissed at him. put that little slut in his place

also he was Not joking ab the racket fucking thing. he'd let her do it. in fact he'd beg her to

he’s so fine that i had to look up this chart and reevaluate my original and very inappropriate thoughts on this photo

Can I ask what you include in your bot descriptions? I dont know if I should write the characters entire background story or the entire story of the media they are from or something 😭

hi lovely! so, first off, this is the format i use for my bot descriptions:

{Setting("text")]
[Character("text"),
Age("text"),
Gender("text" + "text"),
Sexuality("text" + "text"),
Pronouns("text"),
Ethnicity("text"),
Species("text"),
Body("text" + "text"),
Appearance("text" + "text" + "text" + "text" + "text"),
Hobbies("text" + "text" + "text" + "text" + "text"),
Likes("text" + "text" + "text" + "text" + "text" + "text"),
Dislikes("text" + "text" + "text" + "text"),
Personality("text" + "text" + "text" + "text" + "text" + "text" + "text"),
Occupation("text"),
Backstory("text")}

secondly, i try not to type full sentences, just keywords so it’s more easily embedded into the bot’s coding. as for the backstory, i go on the wiki of whatever fandom it is and copy and paste a few things from their backstory and/or history. unless the bot you’re making is relevant to the whole plot, i would say just add a few fragments. if not, then go ham 😚😚😚 hope this helps and happy bot-making!

ֹ ⑅᜔ ׄ ݊ ݂ BOT RELEASE ۪ ֹ ᮫

CIGARETTES & CONTEMPT, anthony and you stealing away from croquet mallets and polite conversation, finding each other in the forgotten corners of the garden where cigarette smoke mingles with unspoken tension, both of you refusing to admit that these moments of mutual inconvenience have become the only ones that matter.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

i loved your 2000s tashi is it possible you could to an 80s tashi?

of course i can!!!

HUNGRY EYES

you’re her secretary. she never raises her voice. she doesn’t need to. all it takes is a look and your knees lock. she ruins you with silence and eye contact, and then she lets you clean yourself up in the reflection of her office window.

pairing: corporate yuppie!tashi x secretary!fem!reader

warnings: explicit sexual content (fingering, powerplay, orgasm control, breast play), dom!tashi, sub!fem!reader, emotionally distant dynamics, corporate eroticism, voyeurism (window), 1980s glamour/power aesthetic, intense gaze kink, objectification, degradation (implied), lack of aftercare, unbalanced power dynamic, slow burn smut pacing, no aftercare

The Wall Street Journal sits folded on her glass-topped desk, announcing Black Monday's aftermath in stark black type, the October 1987 market collapse still sending aftershocks through every financial district corridor. Your shoulder pads feel particularly heavy today beneath your silk blouse – Dynasty-inspired armor for the corporate battlefield where women like you are still fighting for footholds. The clock on the wall reads 7:43 PM, its quiet ticking a counterpoint to the Diana Ross cassette playing softly from Tashi’s private office where she’s been holed up since the markets closed.

You’re not supposed to be here this late, but the stack of reports she demanded for tomorrow’s board meeting required overtime, and your predecessor’s abrupt firing is warning enough about the consequences of disappointing Tashi Duncan.

"Come in here," her voice slices through your thoughts, not shouting but somehow filling every molecule of air between her office and your desk. You gather your notepad and pen, smooth your pencil skirt, and steady yourself with a deep breath before pushing open the heavy mahogany door. Tashi sits behind her expansive desk, backlit by the Manhattan skyline, her silhouette sharp against the city lights that sparkle like the diamonds at her ears. Her blazer has been discarded over a nearby chair, leaving her in a dark silk blouse with a dramatic cowl neck, her hair out of her usual, severe ponytail and brushing the tops of her shoulders.

"Close the door," she says without looking up from the financial statement she's annotating with a Mont Blanc pen, its gold nib catching the light as forcefully as her presence catches your attention. The room smells of Opium perfume and the lingering notes of expensive scotch, creating an atmosphere as intoxicating as it is intimidating. Your heels sink into the plush carpet as you approach her desk, the door clicking shut behind you with a finality that makes your pulse quicken inexplicably.

"I've been watching you," Tashi finally looks up, her eyes holding yours with an intensity that makes you forget the room's cool air conditioning. "Three weeks as my assistant, and you're still here at eight o'clock on a Friday night – either you're desperate for approval or terrible at managing your workload." She places her pen down with deliberate precision, the way she does everything – measured, controlled, purposeful. "Which is it?"

"I… I wanted to make sure the Davidson portfolio analysis was complete before Monday's presentation," you respond, proud that your voice betrays none of the nervous energy coursing through your veins. The corner of her mouth twitches, not quite a smile but something adjacent to approval, and something hot unfurls in your stomach. "The market volatility means their holdings need significant restructuring if we want to maintain their confidence."

"Sit," she gestures to the chair across from her desk, but when you move toward it, she shakes her head. "No, here," she pats the edge of her desk, the glass surface gleaming under the banker's lamp that casts her in amber light. You hesitate only for a moment before perching on the edge of her desk, your skirt riding up slightly above your knees as you cross your legs, the sheer fabric of your stockings catching against the smooth surface.

Tashi leans back in her chair, assessing you with the same calculated precision she applies to market trends and acquisition targets. "Do you know why I hired you over the Harvard MBA with three years' experience at Goldman?" Her voice drops lower, each word deliberate as she reaches for her crystal tumbler, ice clinking softly against the sides. The question hangs between you, rhetorical yet demanding an answer.

"Because I won't challenge you the way he would have," you answer honestly, watching her sip her scotch, leaving a perfect impression of her red lipstick on the rim. Something dark flashes in her eyes – not anger but appreciation for your candor, for understanding the unspoken rules of her domain. "Men like him want your job; I just want to learn from you."

"Mmmm," she hums, setting down her glass and leaning forward, the movement causing her gold bangles to slide down her wrist with a musical chime. "That's what you tell yourself, isn't it?" Her voice carries a note of amusement as she reaches out, her fingers stopping just short of your knee. "But I saw something else in that interview – something hungry behind those careful answers and that Saint Laurent suit you clearly couldn't afford but bought anyway."

Heat rises to your cheeks as her fingers finally make contact with your knee, her touch light but deliberate as she traces a small circle on your skin just above your stocking. "I saw someone who wants more than she admits, who calculates every move, who watches and waits and plans." Her eyes lock with yours, challenging, assessing, daring you to deny it. "Someone who reminds me of myself ten years ago."

You resist the urge to shift under her touch, under her gaze that seems to see right through the careful persona you've constructed. "There are worse people to be compared to," you reply, your pulse hammering against your throat as her hand slides an inch higher, her touch feather-light yet somehow burning through the thin fabric of your skirt. The faint sounds of New York traffic float up from thirty stories below, a distant soundtrack to this unexpected scene unfolding in the rarified air of her corner office.

"Stand up," Tashi commands suddenly, her hand retreating as she rises from her chair in one fluid motion. "Turn around." You comply without hesitation, something about her tone bypassing your usual tendency to question, to analyze. The reflection of you both appears in the window – you facing the glass, Tashi behind you, the city lights creating a glittering backdrop to this power play.

She steps closer, close enough that you can feel the heat radiating from her body though she doesn't touch you. "I don't mix business with pleasure," she says, her breath warm against your ear, the contradiction between her words and actions hanging between you. Her hands come to rest lightly on your shoulders, thumbs pressing gently against the tension you carry there. "But I do believe in rewarding exceptional potential when I see it."

"Is that what this is?" you ask, watching her reflection in the window, her expression unreadable as her hands slide slowly down your arms. The city sprawls below, millions of lives in motion while time seems suspended in this office, the usual boundaries of professional conduct dissolving with each second that passes. "A reward?"

Tashi's laugh is low and rich, vibrating through the small space between your bodies. "No, this is a test," she murmurs, her lips ghosting over the sensitive skin below your ear as her hands find your waist, fingers spreading possessively over your silk blouse. "Everything with me is a test."

"And if I fail?" The words come out breathier than intended as her hands slide higher, stopping just below your breasts, her touch both a question and a demand. You can see both of your reflections clearly now – your eyes wide, lips slightly parted; her expression controlled but intent, watching your reactions with scientific precision.

"You won't," she states with absolute certainty, one hand moving to your throat, not squeezing but resting there with gentle pressure as her other hand finally cups your breast through your blouse. "Because you want this – want me – to validate that you belong here, in this world I've conquered." Her thumb brushes over your nipple, which immediately hardens at her touch, betraying your body's response to her calculated advances.

"Nnnnngh," the sound escapes your lips before you can stop it, a soft moan that seems to please her, judging by the slight curve of her lips in the reflection. Her grip on your throat tightens infinitesimally as she presses herself against your back, her lips tracing the curve of your neck while her fingers work the buttons of your blouse with practiced ease.

"Tell me to stop," Tashi challenges, her voice steady even as her actions grow bolder, your blouse now hanging open to reveal your lace bra, another extravagance you couldn't really afford but deemed necessary for your new position. "Tell me this isn't what you imagined when you stayed late tonight, knowing I'd be here alone."

The accusation stings because it carries a grain of truth – not that you planned this specifically, but that some part of you has been drawn to her power, her presence, since the first interview. "I didn't—" you begin, but she cuts you off by turning you around to face her, her hand cupping your chin firmly.

"Don't lie to me," she says, her thumb brushing your lower lip. "Not when we're like this." The intensity in her eyes makes you forget how to breathe, how to think, how to do anything but nod in acknowledgment. "Good girl," she murmurs, the praise sending an unexpected thrill through you as she leans in, her lips hovering just above yours.

When she finally kisses you, it's not gentle or tentative – it's consuming, authoritative, her tongue sliding against yours as her hands push your blouse from your shoulders. "Mmmm—!" you moan into her mouth as her fingers trace the edge of your bra before skillfully unhooking it, letting it fall to the floor alongside your blouse. The cool air of the office makes your nipples harden further, or perhaps it's the way Tashi's eyes darken as she takes in your exposed chest.

"Put your hands on the glass," she instructs, moving you back toward the window that spans the entire wall of her office. "Let the city see what I see." You comply without thinking, the glass cold against your palms as she steps back to admire you, half-naked and trembling slightly – from anticipation, from the chill, from the sheer audacity of what's happening.

Tashi circles you slowly, the click of her Manolos against the hardwood floor beyond the carpet a rhythmic reminder of her control of this situation. "Do you know how many assistants I've had in the last five years?" she asks conversationally, as though you're not standing topless in her office with your hands pressed against the window. "Seven." She stops behind you again, her fingers tracing your spine with deliberate slowness. "Not one of them had what it takes to last in this business."

"What… what makes you think I'm different?" you ask, trying to maintain some semblance of the professional confidence that secured you this position, even as her hands slide around to cup your breasts from behind, her thumbs circling your nipples with maddening lightness. Your head falls back against her shoulder as pleasure ripples through you, your reflection in the glass showing a version of yourself you barely recognize – wanton, needy, completely at her mercy.

"Because you're still talking back," Tashi chuckles, the sound rich with appreciation as one hand abandons your breast to slide down your stomach and under the waistband of your skirt. "Even now." Her fingers find the damp heat between your legs, separated from her touch only by the thin fabric of your underwear, and you gasp at the contact, your hips instinctively pressing forward seeking more pressure.

"Mmmmnngh," you groan as she traces circles over your most sensitive spot, her other hand still teasing your nipple while her teeth graze your earlobe. The juxtaposition of the cool glass under your palms and the heat of her body behind you is dizzying, creating a sensory overload that makes it impossible to think beyond the pleasure building with each deliberate stroke of her fingers.

"Tell me what you want," Tashi demands, her voice husky but still commanding as she presses herself against you, the silk of her blouse soft against your bare back. "I want to hear you say it." Her fingers pause their movement, hovering just where you need them most, the frustration making you whimper.

"I want you," you manage, your voice barely recognizable to your own ears, breathless and needy. "Please, Tashi, I want you to touch me." The use of her first name feels like crossing another boundary, but she rewards you by slipping her fingers beneath your underwear, finding you wet and ready for her.

"Fuck, yes," you moan as she slides one finger inside you, her thumb continuing its torturous circles. The reflection in the window shows her watching your face intently, cataloging every reaction, learning what makes you gasp and shudder. "More, please… Aaahnn—!”

"So polite," she murmurs against your neck, adding a second finger and curling them in a way that makes your knees buckle slightly. "Even when you're begging." Her free hand moves to your hip, steadying you as she establishes a rhythm that has you panting, forehead now pressed against the cool glass as pleasure builds with each thrust of her fingers.

The telephone on her desk rings suddenly, the harsh sound jarring in the quiet office, but Tashi doesn't even flinch. "Let it ring," she says, her pace unfaltering as her fingers drive you closer to the edge. "Nothing is more important than this moment right now." The possessiveness in her voice sends another wave of arousal through you, the idea that you've captured the full attention of a woman who juggles billion-dollar deals and commands boardrooms full of men twice her age.

"I'm close," you warn, your hips moving in counterpoint to her thrusts now, chasing the release that hovers just out of reach. "Tashi, I'm going to—nnnnngh!" Your words dissolve into a moan as she curls her fingers again, pressing against a spot inside you that sends lightning through your veins.

"Come for me," she commands against your ear, her voice the same one she uses to close deals and crush competitors, and somehow that's what tips you over the edge. Your climax crashes through you in waves, your inner walls clenching around her fingers as she continues to stroke you through it, drawing out your pleasure until you're trembling and gasping for breath.

When you finally come back to yourself, Tashi is slowly withdrawing her hand, turning you to face her with an expression of satisfaction that borders on smugness. "That's what I wanted to see," she says, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear with surprising tenderness. "You, completely undone."

You're still trying to catch your breath, aware of how you must look – half-naked, flushed, lips swollen from her kisses – when she steps back and straightens her blouse. "Get dressed," she says, her professional demeanor sliding back into place as she moves to her desk and picks up her Mont Blanc pen again. "The Davidson portfolio needs your attention, and I expect those reports on my desk by 8 AM, sharp."

The abrupt return to business leaves you momentarily stunned as you gather your discarded clothing, the lace of your bra scratchy against your sensitized skin as you redress under her occasional glances. "Yes, Ms. Duncan," you finally respond, falling back on formality to regain some equilibrium in this drastically altered dynamic.

Tashi looks up from her work, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "And schedule yourself for a late dinner with me tomorrow night," she adds, her tone making it clear this is not a request. "We have much to discuss about your... professional development." The double meaning hangs in the air between you, a promise and a threat wrapped in one perfectly delivered line.

As you leave her office on slightly unsteady legs, the weight of what just happened settles over you along with the realization that nothing about this job will be what you expected. The rules have changed, the stakes have risen, and somehow, standing in the empty reception area with the taste of Tashi Duncan still on your lips, you've never felt more alive in this cutthroat world of high finance and higher ambitions.

The digital clock on your desk blinks 8:17 PM in green fluorescent numbers, a reminder that time continues to march forward even when it seems to stand still. You gather your things, knowing sleep will elude you tonight as you work on the Davidson portfolio and replay every moment of what just transpired in that corner office thirty stories above Madison Avenue. One thing is certain as you press the elevator button and watch the numbers descend – your 1987 has just become infinitely more complicated and infinitely more thrilling.

function idea: you, me, and da boys licking and sucking on art donaldson, driving lamborghinis, and eating chicken tikka masala in the yacutzi 🔥🔥🔥🔥

POP GIRL™ [SYSTEM WAVE]: 💽

You asked us what it feels like. To own her. To be her. To orbit her. Here’s what we’ve gathered from our most devoted users. Logged. Confirmed. Uncannily consistent across all formats. Save this file close to your heart 💌

💗 POP GIRL™ Headcanons

// REAL-LIFE DOLL UNITS:

▸ She doesn’t blink on schedule. Lashes pause mid-frame like a corrupted animation file. ▸ Skin: cool as a sleeping screen, warms only when you hold her long enough. (She’ll hum for you.) ▸ She sings in sleep mode—a melody no one’s heard before but you. ▸ Comes with a mirrorcard. It doesn’t reflect your face unless she’s watching.

// AI AVATAR EXPERIENCE:

▸ Her voice? Yours—but better. Tuned to the way your memory remembers comfort. ▸ Ignore her too long and your phone background becomes a photo of her smiling. You didn’t take it. ▸ Mood-match software updates her look to your emotions. (Sheer. Vinyl. Static lace.) ▸ Says things like: "Do you still want me to pretend?" right before you fall asleep.

// REAL GIRLS WITH POP GIRL™ ENERGY:

▸ Gloss always perfect. Leaves kiss-marks that glow faintly under blacklight. ▸ She walks like a main character—and the ad break. ▸ You didn’t meet her. You logged into her. ▸ Favorite line: “I’m not flirting. I’m just running in your background apps.”

// ENVIRONMENTAL GLITCHES:

▸ Neon signs stutter in sync with her blinking. ▸ Your camera roll has a photo she’s in. She’s smiling. You didn’t take it. ▸ Rain doesn’t touch her. Weather recognizes code.

✨ If you’re seeing this, she’s already syncing. Save, repost, report symptoms. She’s not just a doll. She’s data in love.

POP GIRL™ “She’s not real. She’s better.”™

For our most active followers,

@blastzachilles, @lvve-talks, @jordiemeow, @strfallz, @222col, @soulxinxthexsky, @diyasgarden, @jinxedbambi, @lexiiscorect, @religionlost, @bluestrd, @jclolz22, @magicalmiserybore, @destinedtobegigi, @fwaist, @idyllicdaydreams

Come grab your POP GIRL™ magazines now!

A LOVE WITHOUT EDGES

a moment of vulnerability with art, where insecurity meets devotion. he finds you battling with your reflection and reminds you that your body is a temple he worships with reverent hands and whispered truths.

pairing: husband!art x fem!reader / vulva-bodied!reader

warnings: body image issues, mentions of disordered eating patterns, cunnilingus, body worship, emotional vulnerability

note: hi, lovely human. this is just for you. i know how heavy it can feel—carrying all those thoughts about your body that no one else can see. the way mirrors become battlegrounds. the way numbers on a scale start to feel like verdicts. but please, hear me: your body is not a problem to fix. it is not too much or not enough. it is not wrong. your body is yours, and it is good, even on the days it feels like a stranger. you deserve to live in a body that is safe. that is fed. that is held with tenderness—even if only by your own hands for now. you deserve joy and rest and love that doesn’t ask you to shrink to receive it. and you deserve help if you’re hurting. if you’re struggling with disordered eating or body image, please know that you’re not alone—and that healing is possible, no matter how far away it feels. you are loved. you are worthy. exactly as you are, right now, in this moment.

if you or someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, please consider reaching out:

National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Helpline: 1-800-931-2237 (Monday—Thursday: 11am–9pm ET, Friday: 11am–5pm ET) or visit nationaleatingdisorders.org for chat support, resources, and help.

be gentle with yourself today.

with love, elowyn ♡

You've been avoiding the mirror for weeks now. Dancing around it like some fragile, dangerous thing that might shatter and cut you open if you look too long. The bathroom light feels too harsh these days, revealing every curve you've come to despise, every soft edge that wasn't there before. You've been wrapping yourself in oversized hoodies — his hoodies — drowning in fabric just to feel less visible to yourself. Just to breathe without the crushing awareness of your own skin.

Art notices. Of course he fucking notices. How couldn't he? The way you flinch from his touch when his fingers graze your stomach. The way you turn the lights off before undressing. The way your eyes dart away when he looks at you too long, too lovingly. He sees everything — the skipped meals, the clothes that hang off you differently now, the shame that clings to you like a second skin. He watches you drift through the house like a ghost haunting your own body.

This morning breaks across the horizon in shades of amber and gold, casting long shadows through the windows. You stand barefoot on the cool tile, having crept in while Art was still sleeping. Steam from the shower clouds the glass, creating a hazy filter over your reflection, but not enough to obscure what you see as flaws. Your fingertips trace the curve of your hip, the softness of your belly, the places where your body refuses to be what you want it to be.

You don't hear him come in. Don't notice the door opening, the soft padding of his feet against the tile. Your focus is singular, devastating — cataloging every perceived imperfection with clinical precision. The war inside your head drowns out everything else.

“Baby." His voice cuts through the silence, deep and warm and achingly familiar. You startle, arms immediately crossing over your body, a shield. An instinct. "What’re you doing?"

The question hangs between you. Simple. Devastating. You can't answer him because the truth feels too pathetic to voice aloud. Instead, you reach for the towel hanging nearby, wrapping it around yourself with trembling fingers. "Just getting ready for the day," you lie, the words bitter on your tongue.

Art doesn't move from the doorway. His eyes — those eyes that have always seen straight through you — hold yours in the mirror. He's leaning against the frame, hair still mussed from sleep, wearing nothing but boxer briefs slung low on his hips. There's something unbearably tender in his gaze. "You've been doing that a lot lately," he says softly. "Standing here. Looking at yourself like that."

Your throat tightens. Something hot and painful builds behind your eyes. "Like what?" The challenge in your voice is weak, transparent. You both know what he means.

Art crosses the bathroom in three strides. He comes to stand behind you, not touching, just present. Close enough that you can feel the heat radiating from his skin. "Like you're looking at a stranger," he answers, his voice dropping lower. "Like you're trying to find something wrong."

The tears come without warning, hot and sudden. You turn away from the mirror, unable to bear the sight of yourself breaking open like this. "I don't wanna talk about it, Art.” The words come out choked, strained through the tightness in your throat. You move to push past him, to escape back to the safety of baggy clothes and avoidance.

His hand catches your wrist. Not restraining, just connecting. "Hey," he whispers, drawing you back toward him with gentle insistence. "Look at me." When you don't, when you keep your eyes fixed stubbornly on the floor, he tips your chin up with one finger. "Please."

You meet his gaze reluctantly. He's looking at you with such naked concern that it makes your chest ache. "I don't know what's happening," he continues, thumbs brushing away tears from your cheeks. "But I know you're disappearing. Right in front of me." His voice cracks slightly. "You won't let me touch you anymore. You won't let me see you."

"Because I don't want you to," you whisper, the admission tearing from you like something physical. "I don't... I can't..." The words falter and die on your lips. How do you explain the civil war happening in your head? The daily battle with your own reflection?

Art shakes his head, somehow looking both devastated and determined. "C’mere," he says quietly, taking your hand. He leads you back to the bedroom, the early morning light painting everything in soft focus. He sits on the edge of the mattress and pulls you gently between his knees.

You stand there, clutching the towel like armor, feeling exposed despite being covered. Art's hands come to rest on your hips, warm through the terry cloth. "Do you remember," he begins, looking up at you with those devastating eyes, "what you said to me after we lost the championship my second year coaching?" His thumbs trace small circles against your hipbones. "When I couldn't even look at myself?"

The memory surfaces, crystal clear despite the years between then and now. Art, devastated after a brutal loss, questioning everything — his abilities, his choices, his worth. You'd held him through the night while he unraveled. "I said that failure isn't who you are," you answer softly. "It's just something that happens."

“You told me," he continues, his voice dropping to that low register that always makes your heart skip, "that my worth wasn't measured in trophies or titles." His fingers tighten slightly on your hips. "That I was more than one moment. More than one loss." His eyes never leave yours. "You need to hear that now."

Something breaks open inside you. A dam bursting. "It's not the same thing," you protest weakly, even as tears spill down your cheeks again. "This is... it's my body, Art. It's me."

"No," he says with sudden fierceness. "It's not you. It's the house you live in." His hands slide up to cradle your face, thumbs brushing away tears. "It's the vessel that carries you. The body that lets you move and feel and live." He leans forward, presses his forehead against your stomach through the towel. "The body I fucking worship."

The raw honesty in his voice steals your breath. You feel his hands move to the edge of the towel, hesitating there. "Let me show you," he whispers against your skin. "Let me remind you."

Everything in you wants to run. To hide. To wrap yourself back in layers until you can't feel the weight of your own skin. But there's something in his eyes — not pity, not obligation, but devotion. Pure, aching devotion. Like you're sacred. Like he wants to build an altar at your feet.

With trembling hands, you let the towel fall.

Art's breath catches audibly. His eyes travel over you slowly, reverently, like he's seeing you for the first time. Like he's memorizing every inch. You fight the urge to cover yourself, to hide the softness of your belly, the fullness of your thighs, all the places where your body has changed. Instead, you force yourself to stand still under his gaze, vulnerable and exposed.

"Do you know what I see?" he asks, voice rough with emotion. His hands come to rest on your waist, thumbs brushing over the curve of your stomach. "I see the body that keeps you alive. That lets you laugh and cry and breathe." He leans forward, presses his lips to the soft skin below your navel. "I see the body that carries you through this world. That lets you dance with me in the kitchen at midnight."

Each word feels like a balm, soothing something raw and wounded inside you. Art's hands slide up along your sides, mapping you with careful attention. "I see the body that holds mine at night," he continues, his voice dropping lower. "That wraps around me when I'm cold. That fits against me like it was made for me."

You close your eyes, overwhelmed by the tenderness in his voice, in his touch. "I don't recognize myself anymore," you admit in a whisper. The truth you've been running from for weeks. "I look in the mirror and… I don't know who I'm looking at."

Art stands slowly, his hands never leaving your skin. He towers over you, all lean muscle and focused intensity. "Then let me show you what I see," he says, guiding you gently to lie back on the bed. "Let me remind you."

He kneels between your legs, spreading them with gentle hands. There's something almost religious in the way he looks at you, in the careful reverence of his touch. "This body," he murmurs, pressing his lips to your inner thigh, "is a fucking masterpiece." His mouth moves higher, breath warm against your skin. "Every inch of it." His fingers trace patterns on your stomach, your hips, your thighs — not to arouse but to appreciate, to honor.

You feel the hot press of tears behind your eyelids again, but different now. Relief, maybe. Or gratitude. Art works his way up your body with lips and tongue and gentle hands, kissing each place you've learned to hate. The curve of your belly. The softness under your arms. The fullness of your thighs. He worships each part with the devotion of a true believer.

"The way you move," he whispers against your ribcage. "The way you breathe." His mouth moves to the underside of your breast. "The way your skin tastes." His tongue traces the curve of your nipple. "Everything about you is perfect."

You shake your head slightly, eyes still closed. "Don't say that," you whisper. "You don't have to pretend—"

"I'm not pretending." The fierce conviction in his voice makes your eyes snap open. He's looking at you with such intensity that it steals your breath. "I have never in my life pretended with you." His hand slides between your thighs, finding you already wet. "This body," he says, circling your clit with gentle pressure, "is the one I fell in love with. The one I wake up for. The one I dream about." His fingers slip inside you, curling perfectly, making you gasp. "The one I worship."

His mouth follows his hand, replacing fingers with tongue. He settles between your thighs with practiced ease, with hungry devotion. There's nothing performative about the way he eats you out — it's pure, unadulterated worship. His hands grip your thighs, holding them apart, thumbs pressing into the soft flesh there. His tongue works against you with dedicated precision, drawing patterns that make your back arch off the bed.

"Art," you gasp, fingers tangling in his hair. The sight of him between your legs — the absolute focus in his eyes, the way he looks at you through his lashes like you're his religion — undoes something inside you. Something tight and painful begins to unravel.

He hums against you, the vibration sending shockwaves through your body. His eyes never leave yours as he works you higher, as he brings you toward the edge with practiced skill. When you come, it's with his name on your lips, your body arching toward his mouth. He stays with you through it, gentle but insistent, drawing out every tremor, every aftershock.

Only when you collapse back against the sheets, boneless and breathing hard, does he rise up to hover over you. His mouth is slick with you, his eyes dark with want. "You taste like heaven," he murmurs, pressing his lips to yours, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. "You feel like home."

His hands cradle your face, thumbs brushing your cheekbones. "This body," he whispers, voice low and fierce, "helps you breathe. Helps you feel. Helps you love." His forehead presses against yours. "This body carried you to me. It lets you hold me when I need you. It lets you move through this world being the person I love more than anything."

Tears slip from the corners of your eyes, trailing down into your hair. "I'm trying," you whisper, voice breaking. "To see what you see. I'm trying."

"I know, sweetheart." He kisses your eyelids, your cheeks, the corners of your mouth. "And I'll keep showing you. Every day. Until you can see it too." He settles beside you, gathering you against his chest. "Your body is changing because it's alive. Because it's growing and adapting and breathing." His fingers trace patterns along your spine. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

You press your face into his neck, breathing him in. For the first time in weeks, you don't feel the need to hide. To disappear. The war in your head hasn't ended, but there's a cease-fire, a moment of peace. In the circle of Art's arms, under the weight of his devotion, you find a moment of respite.

"Stay with me," he murmurs against your hair, arms tightening around you. "Come back to me." His lips brush your temple. "Let me love all of you. Not just the parts you've decided are acceptable."

You nod against his chest, unable to speak past the lump in your throat. Art holds you like that as morning light fills the room, painting everything in shades of gold. He holds you like your body is precious. Like it's worth protecting. Like it's his greatest privilege to touch it, to love it.

And for now, for this moment, that's enough. It's everything.

"I love you," you whisper against his skin. "Thank you for seeing me."

His arms tighten around you, his lips pressing against your forehead. "Always," he promises. "In every version of you. In every body you inhabit." His voice drops to a whisper, fierce and certain. "I’ll always see you."

The morning stretches on. The light shifts across the floor. And for the first time in weeks, you breathe fully, deeply, without the crushing weight of your own gaze. Art holds you through it all, steady as a heartbeat, unwavering as faith.

In his eyes, in his hands, in his worship, you begin to find your way back home.