Listening To The Soundtrack At Work Currently

drinking is about getting a little silly. it’s also about getting that primal feeling deep in your pelvis that you need to be fucked or you’re gonna die

"We shouldn't be doing this"

🤝🏻

"Shut the fuck up I'm about to cum"

they hated him for his manwhore swag and also the Atrocities

"You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain."

Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls

post nut clarity hitting me like a metal bat being swung at a electric fence

It still astounds me that people use coconut oil as lube like you might as well throw some rolled oats and brown sugar in their hole and make cookie dough while you're at it

Sleepy cuddles and groping that turns into forcefully breeding you at 3am because you're just too fucking hot for me to wait until morning to use you.

can i be your dog? i can can!? yay! alright, let’s skip to the good part then *hands you a rifle*

simon who's been in the military so long that sometimes he can't function without someone giving him instruction.

simon who will come to you at all hours of the day, just staring at you in hopes you give him a task to do.

"Simon can you grab-" he's already getting up

"Simon can you cook that chicken in the f-" he's already putting on an apron

"Simon can-" yes. he will. he can and he must. its compulsory at this point.

doesn't need or ask for praise when he completes the task at hand, but will be over the MOON if you do. even a simple "thanks, Si," gets him wagging his tail.

Crop top that says "i love biting" paired with booty shorts that say "i love biting" paired with a baseball cap that says "i love biting" paired with long socks that each say "i love biting" paired with some flip flops