The Person Who Helped Today When I Fell Out Of My Wheelchair Actually Did A Really Great Job, So I Want

I love seeing those posts where people are like “if you have headmates or whatever you should be on meds because that’s not okay” posts. Like neurotypicals just think that there’s some magical pill out there that will ‘cure’ anything they don’t consider ‘normal.’ Meanwhile, in the land of reality, my shrink thinks it’s pretty healthy that I’m finally getting to know my headmates, and has no intention of putting me on magic pills, because as long as I’m not hurting myself or anyone else, who cares what neurotypicals think is ‘normal?’ Actually, let’s be real: who cares what neurotypicals think at all?

𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤 🎞️

Hiya guys, I'm getting back into tumblr to use as study motivation and accountability for next year! I'm looking for study friends, so please help this post out a little if you don't mind <3

About me:

23 years old

they/he

Almost finished 1st year of BSW, looks like it'll be a B average

Switching to nursing school in March

AuDHD + EDS + comorbs

I want to become a nurse practitioner and specialise in the above conditions

Very big on equity, liberation, and social justice

Anti-zionist, pro jew (I want to convert one day!)

I hang out in the Study Together discord a lot, you can find me in Medical Zone if I'm there :)

engaged!! my lovely sweet partner and I have been together for 3 years <3

outside of study I like to crochet, lift weights, watch Critical Role, and play video games. Also obsessed with Greys and House atm

Current fav games are tlou, ow, apex, cp2077, and skyrim !!

Well, I did end up working on the A&P deck for a few more hours. Chapter One is almost finished and I'm at almost 200 cards.

I think a big part of the reason that I went from anti-endo to endo-safe was absolutely due to how starkly different the communities felt.

Anti-endo communities were hard to engage with. Sure, some of them would focus on their support for each other more than their hatred of endogenic systems. And that's great! However, when you are brought together by your dislike of a certain group, you can't help but feel the hate permiate into so much of it. It always happened eventually. Anti-endo communities had such a focus on systems who were "fake" that I couldn't help but worry I was one of them, no matter how much they told me it was "just endos" they were concerned about.

The endo community (at least the parts I've engaged with and were easy to find) were so kind and respected me as a system, no matter how I felt or my plurality presented. Simply knowing we could find joy in our plurality allowed us to strive for so much more than we had thought possible before.

As a traumagenic system, we've improved so much with our symptoms and communication as a result of the positivity and acceptance we recieved. When we joined communities where we could be authenticallly ourselves (no matter what), we came together and faced so much less conflict between each other. And the conficts we did have, we realized that we could solve them together rather than alone.

When you are constantly doubting if you are "actually a system", you start to push the others away, and that made our dissociation and amnesia so much worse. I understand being careful of self-misdiangnosis, it can put you on the wrong path for how you learn to manage your symptoms. At the same time, the sentiment I often heard from endogenic systems when I was struggling with doubt and denial was very simple: "So what if you're not a system?" In short, it was okay to be wrong.

And that was huge for me. I realized that, no matter if I was a system or not, the techniques I used to improve ourselves and communicate with one another beneficial to me. At the end of the day, even if I wasn't a system after all, the skills I had found we invaluble to my health and well-being. So when I fall into denial spirals, no matter what I think about myself, I now know that I don't need to deprive myself of what has helped me, even if it is a "system thing." I don't feel scared to use these skills anymore (even in denial spirals), beacuse the line between what systems and non-systems or singlets can/can't do suddenly wasn't a big deal or a battle of "who can do what."

Our plurality is no longer a burden or a scar to us. It is simply who we are. We've learned so much about each other and ourselves since we've been accepted in full, and since we've learned to accept others. Endogenic communities have helped us (a traumagenic system) probably more than they'll ever know, and we're forever grateful for that.

So thank you, endogenic systems.

Reasons I have seen webcomic authors publicly cite for cancelling their comic mid-storyline:

Too busy  

Lost interest  

Increasing age gap between characters and author made it difficult to relate  

Did the math and figured out that completing the planned arc with their current update schedule would take 150 years  

Ostensible author actually a fictional persona that’s now being retired, and they didn’t want the comic linked to their real identity  

Realised that the way they’d written the central relationship wasn’t emotionally genuine (note: this was a hobbit porn comic)  

The comic’s readership contained too many lesbians  

Converted to a religion that regards all representational art as a form of idolatry  

Broke up with the person the protagonist was based on  

Outed as not actually Japanese  

Imprisoned for manslaughter  

Aliens