Pros Of Hyperfixiation:

some more W.I.T.C.H. doodles now that i've read all of the comics

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL ASEXUALITY DAY!!

-April 6th

hm. time to be cute i think

There are some people in this life that i like very much

my heart is going to explode for how much i love my niece

🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶

pollution won't kill me

war won't kill me

money won't kill me

depression won't kill me

bullies won't kill me

administrative stuff will

just realized my favorite genre is horror and that I love it since I'm a kid and I've no idea where it comes from

like i've read so many horror books and seen so many horror videos and movies and video games and never realized until now that horror was a big part of my existence

i don't know if that's weird and what it's saying about me

imposter syndrome when you make music is like:

ok i think i'm ready to show it

[shows it] [good reactions]

2 interpretations of the "good reactions"

• the good reactions seem polite : they now must think that you're dumb and have no future and they don't know why they're supporting you in what you do ; you thank them but inside you it's "never again am i showing this to anyone"

• the good reactions seem sincere, they even have specific favorite parts, you talk about it for some time with them afterwards : you think you finally reached the right audience, it's got something, it's my thing, it won't please everyone but some people might like it ----- one month later, randomly working on music → your brain: oh remember this time when you showed them this song? well actually they were lying, they hated it, and you made yourself a fool by trusting them like, do you really think your music is good? you're so dumb, the parts they said were their favorites? they focused on one little thing that was not too bad to make you believe they really liked it

So either reaction, I feel like I'm a little kid with a drawing, that no one wants to tell me what they really think about it and only lie to make me feel good but now I have no idea if that's really good, because I have no benefit of hindsight with my work

But when people don't like it I feel discouraged and when people like it I think they're lying

How am I supposed to ask people to play my song when thinking like that, how am I supposed to call on professionals to produce it, how am I supposed to promote it and take some space with it? I'm afraid people who like me as a person feel obligated to listen to it to prove they're good friends and give an opinion on it

can we talk for a minute about how 'Dream Team' in the 5th season of The Office US is like the best ?

there's the whole Michael-downfall moment that we've seen over and over through the series, and as usual he dreams too big, no one believes in him and they all leave him all by himself with his crazy project

but then there's Pam, who we've seen getting bored from a job that uses none of her real potential, standing for Michael and leaving everything behind to start a project born like 6 hours beforehand

if we don't take into account that pretty much every employee is at the opposite of Michael, Pam's personality is one of the most far away from his: even though she also likes pranks and tends to be bold and had some good moments with him, she had to learn to know her value and not under or overestimate it, she gets things done, she is organized, she is respectful and considerate, she seems to have a stable life and stable relationships. Furthermore, her relationship with Michael is unbalanced, she's constantly sexualized and suffers his misogynistic jokes, he has never really been considerate towards her, even when she obviously was the best among the other employees during 'Beach Games' (S3) for a higher ranked position

however, she is the one and only to follow him, she took care of Michael, she pushed him into making small steps when he was depressed, she provided him support and understanding, validating every task he overcame, and i couldn't help but to relate to that kind of doing ; this was the growing-hope part

the most beautiful part being when this seed of hope didn't work out and the business didn't seem to lead anywhere, and when Pam finally realized and expressed how much she lost because of her impulsive decision, because the boredom of her job just felt too much at that precise moment, AND THAT'S when Michael hits with one of his biggest strength: when people don't believe in him is when he does his best work (his words), he thrives on it (also his words). And suddenly he's his boss, his mentor, his friend, he gets to support her and inspire her once again, not because he is about to lose her or that he's afraid to be alone, but for her, so that she can feel good about her choice, so that she doesn't hit rock bottom, he validates their situation and pushes her to stick to their plan.

it took someone he cares about to be sad and desperate for Michael to take his job more seriously than we ever saw him do. They are not doing great but they're trying to give their best shot

also i'd like to highlight how similar to the art show moment in 'Business School' (S3) this scene is, when Michael is the only one to truly enjoy Pam's work, when she obviously didn't believe it would come from him. The reaction of Michael is so pure and free from his usual shallow and callous behavior, it's just how he feels with no insult or bad joke, something Pam needed in the moment

just so you know i didn't finish the series so it might not be the best best episode but i really wanted to right that down

i miss my little monster