Eheheh... Sorry

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LETS GET BACK TO SOME MERCYKILL~

This is why you shouldn't go out at night Duke your too visible

I don't actually know where this quote is from since I don't have tiktok anymore so I cant look it up but if anyone knows be a big help

I glance up at the kids screaming and crying as the aliens pass them over. Yes, you spent hours on their makeup. Yes, you did your hair like a goddess. But, they don't seem to like that. I shake my head. I didn't dress up. I’m not getting picked. Not with my ugly ass face. I've come to terms with it. So I might as well finish this series before I die. I'm on the last book anyways.

Turning back to my novel, I sigh. Then, I hear Tristan’s voice ring out. ”Why the hell won't you take me?” He yells. ”Who could resist this?” I don't need to look up to know he’s pointing to his dick. Calmly, I call, ”Resist what Tristan? There’s nothing down there.”

There’s a sharp burst of noise from the aliens, but I ignore it. If I did now, It'll be better than dying on an exploding Earth. Maybe it'll be painful if they do it now.

”Oh, and how do you know that?” He yells back. ”Your mom told me last night, ” I reply. There's another outburst of noise from the aliens. Sighing, I bookmark my page and look up to see Tristan approach. ”The hell did you say?” He hisses.

I roll my eyes. ”Your mom told me last night. And your girlfriend confirmed.”

There's another loud noise, and suddenly, I feel a tentacle wrap around my waist. With a sharp tug, I'm brought into the midst of the aliens and set down in the middle.

Glancing around, I take in their faces. It's actually not that bad up close. The Cthulhu like faces aren't half bad. Sighing, I open my book and return to my page. As I'm slung over the shoulder of one of the aliens and brought onto the ship, I give a loud yell of, ”OH COME THE FUCK ON ROWLING NOT FRED TOO.”

Aliens are threatening to destroy Earth, but first they want to take 500 of the finest human specimens back to their home planet. People rush to beauty parlors and line up for botox surgery. Everyone hopes that they are beautiful enough to be selected. However, when the aliens finally come to choose, it becomes clear that they have a very different idea of beauty

WOLVERINE SETT WITH ACTUAL WOLVERINE EARS I LOVEEEE

Settphelios doodles <3

“LOOOOOOOK”

i got 99 projects and now this is one of them

Helpful things for action writers to remember

Sticking a landing will royally fuck up your joints and possibly shatter your ankles, depending on how high you’re jumping/falling from. There’s a very good reason free-runners dive and roll. 

Hand-to-hand fights usually only last a matter of seconds, sometimes a few minutes. It’s exhausting work and unless you have a lot of training and history with hand-to-hand combat, you’re going to tire out really fast. 

Arrows are very effective and you can’t just yank them out without doing a lot of damage. Most of the time the head of the arrow will break off inside the body if you try pulling it out, and arrows are built to pierce deep. An arrow wound demands medical attention. 

Throwing your opponent across the room is really not all that smart. You’re giving them the chance to get up and run away. Unless you’re trying to put distance between you so you can shoot them or something, don’t throw them. 

Everyone has something called a “flinch response” when they fight. This is pretty much the brain’s way of telling you “get the fuck out of here or we’re gonna die.” Experienced fighters have trained to suppress this. Think about how long your character has been fighting. A character in a fist fight for the first time is going to take a few hits before their survival instinct kicks in and they start hitting back. A character in a fist fight for the eighth time that week is going to respond a little differently. 

ADRENALINE WORKS AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU FIGHT. THIS IS IMPORTANT. A lot of times people think that adrenaline will kick in and give you some badass fighting skills, but it’s actually the opposite. Adrenaline is what tires you out in a battle and it also affects the fighter’s efficacy - meaning it makes them shaky and inaccurate, and overall they lose about 60% of their fighting skill because their brain is focusing on not dying. Adrenaline keeps you alive, it doesn’t give you the skill to pull off a perfect roundhouse kick to the opponent’s face. 

Swords WILL bend or break if you hit something hard enough. They also dull easily and take a lot of maintenance. In reality, someone who fights with a sword would have to have to repair or replace it constantly.

Fights get messy. There’s blood and sweat everywhere, and that will make it hard to hold your weapon or get a good grip on someone. 

A serious battle also smells horrible. There’s lots of sweat, but also the smell of urine and feces. After someone dies, their bowels and bladder empty. There might also be some questionable things on the ground which can be very psychologically traumatizing. Remember to think about all of the character’s senses when they’re in a fight. Everything WILL affect them in some way. 

If your sword is sharpened down to a fine edge, the rest of the blade can’t go through the cut you make. You’ll just end up putting a tiny, shallow scratch in the surface of whatever you strike, and you could probably break your sword. 

ARCHERS ARE STRONG TOO. Have you ever drawn a bow? It takes a lot of strength, especially when you’re shooting a bow with a higher draw weight. Draw weight basically means “the amount of force you have to use to pull this sucker back enough to fire it.” To give you an idea of how that works, here’s a helpful link to tell you about finding bow sizes and draw weights for your characters.  (CLICK ME)

If an archer has to use a bow they’re not used to, it will probably throw them off a little until they’ve done a few practice shots with it and figured out its draw weight and stability. 

People bleed. If they get punched in the face, they’ll probably get a bloody nose. If they get stabbed or cut somehow, they’ll bleed accordingly. And if they’ve been fighting for a while, they’ve got a LOT of blood rushing around to provide them with oxygen. They’re going to bleed a lot. 

Here’s a link to a chart to show you how much blood a person can lose without dying. (CLICK ME) 

If you want a more in-depth medical chart, try this one. (CLICK ME)

Hopefully this helps someone out there. If you reblog, feel free to add more tips for writers or correct anything I’ve gotten wrong here. 

Helloooooo.

Reblog if you’re new-ish to Tumblr but not to the fandom. Wanting to support my fellow tumblrs in the same boat as me 😅

how dare adaptations make dracula/mina the ship when first of all, jonathan is the obvious gothic heroine of the book, and second of all mina would put the fear of God in dracula for touching her man. she proposed to him as soon as he woke up from his coma and MARRIED him while he was in the sick bed of a catholic hospital, this girl is Not Normal either

KARA NO

based on this

Luther, take care of your wife please

bonus