Harmlessfroggi - Froggi

the funniest part about merlin is the fact that he’s even around for most of the show. like what the fuck is he doing there. no other person with a personal servant is tailed like arthur is. and yet nobody fucking blinks an eye at his presence.

like there are at least three separate occasions where the plot for an episode is uther sending arthur on a super secret confidential mission with the fate of the kingdom at stake, and they have a whole conversation like ‘i need you to understand the importance of the secrecy of this mission.’ ‘understood father, i will take only my most trusted men.’ ‘no arthur, you and YOU ALONE must go.’ ‘i understand.’ and then it cuts to the super secret mission and fucking merlin is just there. like. road trip with my best buddy. what a view. love this horse. like ARTHUR?

everyone always forgets he exists the second a fight happens, too. every goddamn time the knights go on a short patrol that god forbid merlin not tag along for they get attacked by bandits or whatever and merlin doesn’t even carry a fucking sword and after the fight arthur always turns around and merlin is just kinda standing there in the middle of the fight picking at a hang nail. nobody considers it wild that he’s there for all of this. the one time he actually bothered taking a sword off a dead guy to defend himself with arthur saw him holding it and he mocked it like ‘lol the fuck are you of all people gonna do with that’ THEY FULLY EXPECT HIM TO JUST STAND AND WAIT FOR THE FIGHT TO END

The IRS

Billy doesn’t pay taxes. Anything related to taxes, he doesn’t know about.

M’gann: “What’s an IRS?”

Kid Flash “They’re these guys who collect taxes.”

M’gann: “Really? I’ve never paid taxes before. Are they gonna come after me?” *sounds slightly concerned*

Kid Flash: “Maybe-”

Marvel: *comes out of the kitchen with cookies* “No, they’re not. M’gann, the IRS isn’t real.”

M’gann: “It isn’t?”

Marvel: “Yeah, it isn’t. Wally’s just pulling your leg.”

Kid Flash: “Uh… no, no I’m not… Marvel you do know IRS is real, right? It’s important to me that you know that.”

Marvel: “Well, they’ve never come for me and I haven’t paid a single tax in my life.”

Kid Flash: *sounds completely concerned* “That means you’re committing tax fraud.”

Later…

YJ and Marvel: *all huddled around Tim who’s hunched over a computer*

Marvel: “Why’s is everyone here?”

Robin!Tim: “What do you mean, Cap? This is a celebratory moment. We didn’t even know you could commit a crime, yet here we are.” *typing on computer*

Marvel: “Why’d you pull up C.C. Batson?”

Robin!Tim: “Cap, you’re not exactly hiding your face. Anyone could find out who you were if they just dug a little deeper than the surface.”

Artemis: “Your name is C.C.?” *tries to see the computer*

Robin!Tim: “Charles actually.”

Zatanna: “You look like a Charles.”

Marvel: “I do? Huh. Well, anyways, I’ve been legally pronounced dead so I shouldn’t have to pay them right?”

Robin!Tim: “Well, you’re alive now. That means that you technically faked your death and that also technically means that you’re committing tax fraud so…” *types on computer* “You should owe 5 billion to the IRS.”

Marvel: *sounds completely devastated* “WHAT?”

Aqualad: “How could he possibly have racked up that much?”

Robin!Tim: “Well, Cap’s been “dead” *does quotes with his hands* since 1958 so he put off 66 years of taxes. Plus, the price of a dollar went up as the years passed so yeah.”

Marvel: “Oh my gods…” *sounds like he’s about to have a mental breakdown*

Kid Flash: “Wow. You’re actually an egregious tax evader. 5 billion is insane.”

Even More Later…

Batman: *came to check on the kids*

Marvel: *in a corner, rocking back and forth, practically crying*

Batman: “What’s wrong with him?”

Robin!Tim: “He owes 5 billion to the IRS.”

Batman: “…What?”

Robin!Tim: “Yeah, I know, right?”

Batman and Robin!Tim: *watch as Conner comes by and puts a bunch of blankets on Marvel. They then see M’gann come in with some hot coco and hand it to Cap*

Batman: *sighs* “I’ll get the money.” *walks away*

Robin!Tim: “Hey, Cap! You can stop worrying now! Batman is gonna hook you up.

And that’s how, after much refusal from Billy and a lot of peer pressure from both the YJ and Mr. Batman, itty bitty Billy Batson ended up with 5 billion dollars. And since he didn’t want to be arrested for tax evasion, he was too scared to hand it over to the IRS. (It’s not like he knew how to pay them anyways) But hey, Billy now gets to treat himself, Mary, and Freddy. They now have a decent apartment, better clothes, and lots and lots of food money, and potentially toy money? Billy’s been eyeing these Bulletman and Bulletgirl action figures for his and Mary’s birthday coming up. He hopes Mary will like them, or at least the Bulletgirl figure, he knows she’s a big fan.

Also, I have no idea if the 5 billion dollar thing is right, I pulled that from somewhere and I honestly forgot where.

Honorary Member

Danny as a honorary member of the Outlaws, while Dan is an actual member.

The on going bit is Dan complaining about Danny working with the Outlaws cause 'you didn't even break any law why are you here?'

To that, Danny always replies with something like 'well I jaywalked today.' 'I'm an illegal entity, so.' 'ran a red light though.'

Then as a unexpected plot twist, the rest of the team discovers that despite their banter, Dan is the one with a spotless record, since his major crimes are committed either in another world or before he gets his human body/identity.

It's Danny that has multiple wanted posters in his name, as both Phantom and Fenton, across two realms even.

Allow me to offer you all merthur fanart… referenced from La belle dame sans merci, 1893 by John William Waterhouse… I love them so much

I need to do more merthur fanart soon 🫶

Part 4: City

PREV // MASTERPOST // NEXT

You already know Danny absolutely takes every chance he can to embarrass Vlad. Every single one.

They’re attending a Gala and Danny does everything in his power to ensure everybody thinks they’re vampires. Hisses at people, loudly talks about 1800’s events as if he were there, and recoils when he sees a woman’s cross necklace. Everything he can to perpetuate rumors. Vlad is exasperated. His name and pale skin, along with the fact nobody in high society has ever seen him in the day, does not help this rumor.

They’re visiting metropolis to take a tour of LexCorp because Vlad has to sign some type of business agreement. Danny is there because Maddie thought it would be nice for him to get out of Amity every once in a while. The business agreement is out the window the moment Danny walks in the room and loudly proclaims, “oh! So you’re the ‘bald idiot’ my godfather keeps mentioning.”

Vlad knows no peace, even in amity park. He has to give a speech as its mayor? Danny is either in the crowd, asking him the stupidest questions, or he’s trying to convince the town, as phantom, that Vlad was his killer when he was alive.

Just everything he can to make this man’s life more difficult.

My favorite Merlin head cannon is that Arthur knew Merlin had a secret that they didn't talk about because it would get him in trouble with the law

but he always just assumed the secret was Merlin that preferred men.

feat: this scene

Teen Dad Marvel

There’s some very big leaps and logic the JL has decided at Marvel is a teen dad. Billy doesn’t even know how it happened. Let’s take a look at some pass incidents that have made them think this.

To start us off, the very first incident of this occurred when Batman, Superman, and Marvel were debating how old a kid should be before they become a sidekick.

Marvel: “I wasn’t even 12 when Junior came along.”

Supes: “I’m sorry, not even 12?”

Marvel: “Nope. And then it was about… two years or so later that he got his powers and we went on the fight crime together.

To Billy, that meant that he met Freddy when he was around eight and the other boy was nine. It when Billy was nine himself that he got his powers and then a year later, Freddy gained his.

To Superman and Batman, that sounded like somehow, in some way, Marvel had a kid at a max of 12 years old. It also sounds like that two-year-old got powers before it could probably even walk.

Batman and Supes: *sharing looks*

Supes: “I… I’m sorry?”

Marvel: “For what?”

Batman and Supes: *share another look*

Batman: “Nothing, Captain. We just hadn’t expected that you’d gone through something like that.”

Marvel: “Something like what?”

They didn’t answer Billy’s question because they assumed he was playing dumb.

The second incident that convinced the JL, or just Batman and Superman, of this, happened when both Marvel and Junior were at the Watchtower. It seemed like that day was a bad day for Junior’s leg, so Marvel offered to massage it. That how they ended up in the rec room watching Cartoon Network a little too intently as Marvel absentmindedly, massaged the leg draped across his lap.

Marvel and Junior: *watching Gumball or something and sipping juice boxes*

Junior: “How do you do that so well?”

Marvel: “Freddy, I’ve been doing this since I was like nine, obviously I’m gonna do it well.”

Junior: “Yeah, but how did you learn?”

Marvel: “You know that kooky doctor on 48th Street?”

Junior: “The one that’s not evil and turned like half his patients blue?”

Marvel: “Yeah, him, so on one of your really bad days, I got really desperate and really wanted to find a way to make it less bad. So I went to him and he gave me a masseuse book for a penny.”

Junior: “Oh… Cool. Do you still have that book?”

Marvel: “Yeah? It’s probably somewhere at the Rock.”

Supes; *listening from around a corner, clenching his heart because he finds them wholesome*

And it really was from Clark’s point of view. See, most of the JL assumed that Junior was born with a bad leg. After all, he’s supposed to be a demigod, isn’t he? He’s pretty much indestructible so they didn’t think he’d gotten that injury from someone or something. In Clark’s mind, he’s imagining a nine-year-old, itty-bitty Marvel with a baby Freddy massaging Freddy’s little baby leg because he was crying.

Also, Junior’s real name is Freddy? Also, Marvel was NINE when he had him??? Wait, but then how old is Marvel now? Also how old is Junior??

Supes never got an answer to these questions because he was too chicken to bring up the topic.

The third incident came from Mary and Marvel who were also at the Watchtower when this happened. The two were baking cookies together, one of the usual father-daughter activities the JL have seen them do. Specifically, they were making dark chocolate bat-shaped cookies for Batman, on the request of Robin. When Bruce found out about this, he went to go tell them to stop because he really didn’t need the cookies even if they were absolutely delicious.

That’s how he overheard their conversation.

Mary: “Do you remember mom?”

Marvel: “Uh…” *thinking* “Nope, I got nothing.”

Mary: “How?”

Marvel: “Because the last time I saw them, I was eight years old, Mary? You were too.” *whisking something in a bowl*

Bruce took that as Marvel leaving home, at a concerningly young age, for whatever reason and eventually taking Mary to see her grandparents when she was around the age he left. Either that, or he left, and took her back to visit her grandparents when she was two-years-old.

Mary: “Yeah, but I had amnesia. What’s your excuse?”

Marvel: “I was eight?” *hands her the whisk so she can lick it*

It was this incident, and the two others that shaped this idea of teen dad Marvel. Thus, using the combined brain cells of both Batman and Superman, the two came to a conclusion: for some reason, Marvel left home, during the time he left he somehow got someone pregnant and that resulted in Mary and Junior.

Either that, or he just found them on the side of the road, though, the first theory is more believable. The only problem being their ages.

If only they could find their mother… maybe she’d be willing to spill.

Twins?

Danny and Damian are NOT twins, but they do look similar. Similar enough that the teachers have even started to get the two of them confused ever since Danny started to go to Gotham Academy. It gets even worse since they share almost every class together, and seem to get paired up anytime group work is needed in class.

It surprisingly didn’t take Damian very long to warm up to the other boy; if anything it was Danny who took the longest to accept the growing friendship between them. From that point on the two would purposely sit next to one another every class. The other students notice this very quickly and it isn’t long before the nickname ‘The Twins’ is being used to refer to them.

Damian once he hears this is immediately on board, and decides that Danny will be his twin brother. This is when he starts planning on how he’s going to get Danny integrating into the family. It’s meant to be Damian thinks when he later learns that Danny is attending the school on a scholarship, and doesn’t have any other family members listed on any of his paperwork.

In the end Damian decides that the best course of action is to just be direct. So, at the end of the school day he drags Danny with him to the car pick area, and pulls Danny inside of the vehicle waiting for him. Promptly declaring to Alfred who is confused to see another young boy — one who resembles Damian greatly — that this is his twin brother.

And Alfred just takes one long look at the black haired blue eyed boy before thinking to himself, “the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree does it?” Before putting the car in drive and heading towards the manor.

Danny has been de-aged, and his memories are fuzzy but not entirely gone.

He knows that something is wrong, that he’s missing something important, but he has no idea what. He doesn’t even fully know who he is—nor does anyone else he’s met in Gotham. And no matter how much he wracks his brain, he can’t seem to figure it out.

Sure, he sometimes remembers snippets. But he can never follow them anywhere, the trains of thought slipping away from his grasp far too quickly to analyze.

He’s not sure quite how much time he’s lost just spiraling about how if he could just fucking think straight for once maybe it’d all be fine, but it’s certainly been a lot.

At first, he’d debated going to the police to ask for help. But even before he heard the stories from other street kids, something in his gut told him not to. To avoid anything connected to the government. To hide. To never let anyone know he has powers.

Combined with the half-remembered nightmares of being cut open, it doesn’t paint a good picture in his mind.

Sometimes, a terrified piece of him wonders if this is all there was, if his entire life was constrained to those white-walled cells until he escaped into Gotham’s streets. He tries not to think about that option too much.