You Can’t Hurt An Overthinker, They Already Seen It Coming You’re Just Proving Them Right

“And there is nothing between us but rain. Then there is nothing between us at all.”

— Beth Revis

#genshin #fanart

cover for Harbinger Trio zine! you can check it out of their twitter @HabingerTrio !

Of Flowers and Death~ -Hanahaki AU

fem! reader x Zhongli, Zhongli x Guizhong, implied Zhongli x Lumine

warnings:- angst, hurt/no comfort, major character death, graphic descriptions of blood and violence. (lemme know if i missed anything) length-2.8k words a/n:- Mmm yes my favorite oneshot till date. stay till the end for that juicy angst haha (i have been writing for over two hours everything hurts but its worth it) Likes comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated, and do check out my childe smau too!

Edit:- there is a sequel now- Regret, Guilt, Anguish

masterlist

“Oh..” you murmured in less than a whisper. You were hidden behind a few rocks; you had come to meet Morax, the god of Liyue, but your dearest friend, Guizhong, was already there with him, and it looked like they were having a moment. You couldn’t help but want to listen in, because after all it was Morax who you had loved for most of your life.

You were a foreigner to Liyue; you came from Inazuma. But you weren’t any ordinary Inazuman. You were the third and youngest of the Raiden sisters, who ruled over Inazuma itself. No one other than the archons knew about your existence, because Ei and Makoto kept you a secret, protected. Although not many knew, there had indeed been a few attempts on the lives of the Raiden sisters, and this was what they wanted to protect you from.

After you had a few centuries of battle experience and training under your bag, you were allowed to explore the world. You were not tied down with the duties of ruling Inazuma. Naturally, you attracted the attention of the gods, each one of them remarking on how you inherited all the characteristic features of the Raidens.

Only the heavens above knew how you managed to become the best friend of one of the major gods, and that too Morax. But he was the reason you chose to settle down in Liyue. As time passed, your feelings for Morax, also called Zhongli by his friends, also grew more than platonic.

Now see, you knew Morax was something of a blockhead when it came to feelings. So you didn’t think much when Morax kept sending you mixed signals. You both were immortal gods after all, you had all the time in the world. You continued to hopelessly fool yourself, thinking that just perhaps, there was a chance of him loving you back.

Then came the goddess of Dust, Guizhong. A minor goddess she was, but a wonderful one. It didn’t take her too long to make her way into everyone’s hearts, including yours and Zhongli’s. While you both quickly grew into fast friends, there was just one thing that constantly irked you. Just one. It was the way she quickly grew so incredibly close to Zhongli.’

You knew that Guizhong fancied Zhongli; she confessed it to you yourself. You were forced to merely plaster a fake smile upon your face and laugh her words off.

That brought you to this day: watching Guizhong confess to Zhongli. And the amount of heartbreaking anguish when Zhongli accepted with a smile, pulling her in close, after having remained oblivious to all your advances over the decades…. It was just… You couldn’t handle it. It was too much.

You quietly sneaked away as soon as possible. And then.. And then came the coughs and the bloodstained petals. Being from Inazuma, you knew all about it of course. Hanahaki. Needless to say, you were horrified. Since that day, you somewhat avoided the duo on the pretext of the ongoing Archon War. It was here that you showed your true battle prowess as a Raiden. You alone decimated entire armies of the enemies, leaving not even ashes.

The war went on for months. You lost many allies in fighting to ensure that Makoto and Morax got seats in the Seven. Till sundown you fought without relent, showing that even a beauty can be dangerous. At night, you gave your fallen comrades the proper, respectful  farewell they deserved. By now, only the last few contenders for the heavenly thrones were left. The last opponent for Morax was the ocean god, Osial, in Guyun Stone Forest, and his followers. Recognising the serious threat he posed, you did agree to team up with Morax to eliminate him. The path for Morax to become an archon would then become clear. Through experience, you both knew that you two together were a formidable force. 

The battle was a long and exhausting one. You both started at sunrise, and barely managed to subdue him by sundown, having understood that even with their combined power, they would not be able to kill Osial. You both went back to your makeshift camp, looking forward to just resting for the night. Thank the gods you had very few coughing fits during the battle.

And yet, the moment you stepped past the protected borders, you felt that familiar eerie chill that crept up your spine. The heavy silence that hung ominously, the one that meant something was dreadfully, terribly wrong. And you were right. You took in the scene. The five Yakshas of Liyue were present, and they seemed to be sealing some sort of hexagonal structure, which was suspended above a figure. And the figure…

Was Guizhong.

Any dislike you harboured towards the Goddess of Dust disappeared as you laid your eyes upon the figure that had been turned to stone. The first and utmost thought in your mind was that something was wrong with your second best friend. Evidently Morax had come to the same conclusion. He let out a strangled sound as you both ran towards what remained of Guizhong. As you both gingerly touched her as if she was made of glass instead of stone, you knew. It was clear- Guizhong was no more.

Despite your stormy emotions, it seemed you were capable of only letting out a few tears. Morax seemed to be physically incapable of crying, yet his emotions were plainly displayed on his face for all to see. 

That night, you stayed with Morax, doing your best to comfort him, despite needing comfort yourself. Neither of you had any more tears to shed. 

That night, Morax has emerged as one of the Seven with your help, but you both lost Guizhong along the way.

~◈~

2 millenia had passed since the Archon War, and it left its scars on everyone. However, you could be lying if you said that you didn’t feel relieved that Guizhong was out of the way. You also felt guilty for feeling like that. But it was rather funny, how you managed to survive with your hanahaki for 2000 years, while most died within a few months. You supposed the reason was that Morax, who now completely lived as the mortal Zhongli in the Harbor, was seriously the absolute master at giving out mixed signals. He often unknowingly did things that lovers did, giving you hope. Yet that hope gets squashed a few days later, and the cycle continues. In all honesty, the hanahaki wasn’t really a big problem, more like a chronic disease that you had come to accept as a part of your life.

You knew that while Zhongli had mostly recovered by now, he still irrationally blamed himself for Guizhong’s death. You often told him to move on, yet he never said anything. You could see how opposed he was to the idea though. That’s why it was a surprise when he invited you to his office in the funeral parlor right after you returned from Inazuma. You could see on his face that there was something that pleased him. He first enquired about your travels and stuff, then said, “[name], do you remember how you’ve always told me to move on?” “Oh yes. Have you been thinking about that?” “Indeed. Although Guizhong will always have a special place in my heart, I believe that I am now ready to mingle again. I realised recently… that I have feelings for someone new.” 

You couldn’t deny the flutter of excitement you felt on hearing those words.Was this finally it? “That’s great Zhongli! Who is it?” “Do you know the Traveler, Lumine? It’s her. I met her a while back, when you were out on your travels. I love her so much.” He proceeded to tell you all about Lumine. He was lovestruck and you could see that. With every word he spoke, you felt your heart drop more into your stomach. You were doomed. Utterly doomed.

All this time, you’d just been deluding yourself, lying to yourself. He had never loved you, and he never would. You were struggling to keep your easy smile glued to your face as yet again, you felt something rise up your throat. You politely managed to excuse yourself, your voice coming out all scratchy and raw. Once you walked out of his cabin, you sprinted towards the confines of your home. By the time you locked yourself in, some petals had already escaped and blood was smeared across your palm. 

You were hunched over the sink, which was already full of flowers and blood within a few minutes. It hurt. Everything did, both your body and your broken heart. You knew your impending death was near, because never had your hanahaki been this severe. You couldn’t undergo the surgery because Zhongli was a massive part of your life, and simply forgetting about him would raise a barrage of questions. Plus, you still loved Zhongli too much to forget about him, despite the fact that somewhere deep down, you always knew that he’d never love you back.

~◈~

Your time was very close. The past few days had been spent isolated into the confines of your home, claiming to be exhausted from your latest journey whenever someone came to visit. Funnily enough, today was the day when Zhongli’s former love, and your former best friend, Guizhong, had died. In short, her death anniversary. Seemed it would be yours too.

You usually avoided visiting Guizhong’s memorial and burial site, which was in an isolated cave near Liyue Harbour. However today you thought it was fitting for you to pay your respects to her for the last time. And so, you dragged yourself out in the early morning, before sunrise. You left before anyone could see you, before he could see you.

By the time you are at your destination, your condition has significantly worsened due to the physical strain. It’s all you can do to respectfully place the flowers beside her memorial and lean against the wall. You began to speak to no one in particular in a cracked voice. “Hey Gui…? I hope.. You are at.. Peace… Just know that… I’ve never… hated you.. You’ve always been my.. Best friend.”

“How lucky you were… to be loved by Zhongli.”

Your throat choked up, not because of emotion, but because of another bout of bloody flowers. Not wanting to die there because he would see you, you got yourself out and into another deserted cave just beside. Not the best, but you had no choice. You had merely left a few petals at the entrance of both caves and a faint trail of blood in between.

By now, you had fallen to the ground in searing agony as flower after bloodstained flower forced its way out of your raw throat. You were lying on a bed of the flowers you yourself had coughed out.

How long it had been, you did not know. Perhaps minutes, perhaps hours. You started coughing again, not a moment’s respite. Your life force was almost completely drained. Any moment now.. You would be free.

It was then that you heard a horrified voice ring through the silence. “[Name]!”

~◈~ 

Zhongli was up at sunrise. Despite his new love, his mood was somber- it was Guizhong’s death anniversary. He had every intention to continue visiting her memorial. As usual, he sought you out. There was a rare chance that if you were in the mood, you would accompany him to pay respects to Guizhong. Yet when he knocked at your door several times and received no response, he chose to leave you alone, despite being slightly worried. You usually did respond at the very least, but he was sure you were alright,

He stopped short in front of the cave which housed Guizhong’s memorial. There was a fresh bouquet of Glaze lilies. But who brought them here? Especially since this place was practically unheard of. He took a few quick steps forward and kneeled down to inspect the bouquet. His heart lurched.

Attached to the bouquet was a small note that said, ‘To my dearest best friend, Guizhong.’ There was no name, but he recognised the handwriting well enough. [name] had already been here. Without him? Was there a reason?

His eyes were drawn to something else too. Relatively new footprints in the soil. And blood.

Blood?

His heavy footsteps echoed in the cave as he quickly walked out, following the faint trail of footprints, blood and petals. They were leading him to a nearby cave. His heart rate accelerated as he heard heavy coughing.  And behold the sight that awaited him- an utterly pretty bed of flowers and petals stained in a blood red, and someone coughing while lying on it.

“[Name]!” He cried out, completely horrified.

You curled into yourself even more on hearing his voice. All you wanted was to die in peace, why did he have to make things more difficult? Why did he have to come here? The flowers started choking and constricting your throat on their way up, ever more unrelenting, fueled by the appearance of the one who caused them. It was so hard to breathe… Just a bit more…

You felt yourself being gently lifted into someone’s strong and warm embrace. You weakly met Zhongli’s eyes, which were full of panic. You’d only seen him lose his composure like this once before, his fear more than evident on his face. “[name]- I- What happened? Please, tell me! I- I can’t lose you too!” He exclaimed frantically, feeling your life ebb away second by second, with each cough that released blood and Glaze lilies.

Your throat constricted even more, making it excessively hard to breathe. You just wanted to rest, It was all you could do to force a few broken words from your raw throat.

“...Hana..haki…” That was all Zhongli needed to know to understand. His pupils dilated in fear even more. “Who.. Who is it who made you suffer this way?” Zhongli whispered, unable to take in your completely broken state. You didn’t respond for a few moments, feeling your eyelids shut. You forced them open, not wanting to leave him hanging. “Always.. Loved you.. Always will… Be happy.. For me.. Okay? That is my last wish.” You weakly tried to reach a hand towards Zhongli, who instantly grasped it tightly in hsi, and pressed it against his face, as the realisation hit him like a truck. “What..?” He whispered softly.

Your eyes started to droop again, and you gave in, feeling nothing but qa soft ringing in your ears as your senses dulled. “[name], no, please don’t leave me!” Zhongli cried out in panic, grief and anguish, seeing you slip away from him. You simply let a small smile rest on his face as you whispered, “Just.. sleeping.. Tired.” Unable to accept your fate, he whispered, “Sleep well then, my dearest.”

But you never lived to hear that.

Because then you moved no more.

Was fate trying to mock him with [name] dying in his arms, in front of him, on the same day as Guizhong’s death? You were always there for him, always there with him, until you weren’t. And never in his immortal life was Zhongli able to forgive himself for this, knowing that he was the reason you were dead.

mm yes now hows that huh? gonna disappear for a few days now haha

If my body could sprak; "eat" by blythe baird // ocean voung // pinterest // ? // @ibvyache // holly warburton // @star-eaters @antidecay // @chenchenwrites on twitter // domenico fiasella // hum, hum by mary oliver

This is all i have the energy to draw lately

Prompt #441

“It’s just a dance. What are you afraid of?”

Why do I feel like you're nvr gonna read all this....?

@unluckyxxxxxxx

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL TO END UP WITH YOU

swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover. and you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me, and at every table, i'll save you a seat, lover

relationship is a thing that is hard to understand, more so to maintain. but perhaps, being willing to sacrifice and truly show love for each other may just be the answer to the so-called complicated thing known as "relationship".

sfw, no warnings, just pure fluff. this is a repost from my old account── starring. kamisato ayato, xiao, and childe

ayato makes time for you despite his busy schedule. it is something that most people consider as bare-minimum, but ayato is different. as the head of the kamisato clan, there are lots of meetings he needs to attend to, stacks of papers he needs to sign and review as soon as possible. ayato making time for you means you're special.

even if it's just a minute or an hour, he won't really mind. as long as you'll be able to spend atleast some hours of the day with each other, it is more than enough.

xiao comes whenever you call for him. it's not like he doesn't when there are people in danger. but xiao specifically comes to you, with or without any threat and danger. need some hugs? call out his name. you need to go somewhere to pick flowers, call him! he actually won't mind. in fact, he loves it.

mortal life is fleeting and it can be gone in a blink of an eye, so xiao is not one to complain whenever you call him for whatever reason you may have.

childe comes home to you in one piece. a harbinger, a very dangerous job. childe-tartaglia never backs down from any battle, as he always takes any opportunity he has to make himself stronger. loving someone like childe is not an easy task, for you are always worried for his well-being. it's not that you don't trust him and his skills, but he is too reckless and no one knows what might happen to him one day.

he might be a guy who looks for trouble wherever he goes, but he's serious that he fights to make himself stronger. childe wants to be stronger, so he'd be able to protect his family, to protect you, always.

© hitsdifrent 2023 please do not repost on other sites.

like you were written for me (ii)

summary: in which i read a lot of pretty things that remind me of a lot of genshin impact characters (back by popular demand, tysm for the support! you all own my heart).

featuring: albedo, childe, dainsleif, diluc, itto, kaeya x gn!reader (seperately)

cw: mentions of childe's real name

personal favorites: childe, dainsleif

a/n: i'm sorry for being mia!! school is killing me slowly hard. also,,, sorry for always giving kaeya angst. i don't even mean to, it's just so fitting for him. T^T ALSO! this is x gn!reader but please let me know if they are any pronouns slips that i may have missed :) enjoy loves!! <3

albedo k. — "from the base of her neck, to the arch of her eyelids, her beauty made a slave of me." adonis.

the air was unsettled as you posed against the rocky perch; a faint breeze working rosiness into your cheeks and goosebumps up your arms. to your back was the ocean blue and to your front was the white of your lover's hair.

albedo sat neatly in the green of the earth, his paintbrush dancing colors across the white canvas in front of him. painting was his passion, and you, his muse. like a true daughter of mnemosyne, you were an endless source of inspiration for him, a constant tickling of his senses and thoughts. he felt like a prisoner, the way your soul captured his own.

but just like he never thought of himself a genius, neither did you consider yourself a model. he almost found it funny, how you could spew praise but never take it. he loved that humble character of yours, but he also wanted to rid you of it. even if for only a moment, he wanted to see you fall for the sight of your image, like he did with each waking moment.

the belly of his brush maneuvered around the portrait, it's bristles staining the linen as it went. various pigments were quick to flood the piece, and it's whiteness soon drowned in the care of it. albedo delicately traced your features into the art, loving the way the brush spiraled over each curve and drifted over every detail. from the base of your neck, to the arch of your eyelids, your beauty made a slave of him.

"albedo, can i finally see it?" your eyes pointed to the eisel.

his lips curved into a soft smile, pleased by your eagerness. he extended his hand towards you, saying, "come here, love."

childe — "that's the trouble with loving a wild thing: you're always left watching the door." edith pattou.

you laid sprawled underneath the covers of your shared bed, cheek pressing against the pillow. though your body sat still, your eyes danced at the door.

ajax was always a busy man—that simply came with his job of being a harbinger. thus, most nights consisted of you under the covers, curtains sheltering you from the moonlight, awaiting his return. most nights, that return never came. but some nights, nights like this one, a certain red-haired loverboy would finally walk through the wooden entryway and join you in your reverie.

his arms were quick to consume you, gently wrapping around your torso. his head found a home in your neck, the tops of his hair pressing against your nose. his affections were typically more dominating, for he much preferred your head to be cradled by his chest, but the fatigue from his work kept him from caring. beggers can't be choosers, as they say.

and it's not as if he could claim to be uncomfortable either, the layering of your bodies was the warmth he needed on any cold snezhnayan night.

ah, snezhnaya. the land of his hearth and home that oddly seperated him from you, his strength and stay. he originally joined the fatui to quench his thirst for battle, to provide a wealth of challenges to test his might; but, it would seem the greatest challenge now was fighting on the battlefield knowing what waited for him at home. though he was still very much enamoured by the feel of his hand clutched around a weapon, the affection he harbored for you grew by the minute.

because who, even a battle-hungry tool like himself, could resist the care of an angel on earth? the warmth of your smile, the softness of your touch? even now, as you both lie together, eyes lightly lidded and minds half-asleep, he finds his self-control depleted and his senses consumed by you. and, though he'd never admit it, he preferred it this way. despite considering himself a weapon, he'd rather fall ill with your love than die by the blade of the enemy.

as you laid there entangled, you both wanted nothing more than to be frozen in time—snuggled so close you shared a heartbeat. but this world was a cruel one, and dreams didn't always come true. a ringing noise from the corner of the bedroom demanded your lover's attention, and he groggily got up to heed it's call. in no more than a minute, ajax's tired expression was off his face and his boots were on his feet. before setting off, he took your hand and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of it, saying, "sorry, love. i'll be home soon."

and then he was gone, out the door in which he came. you were gutted, but it wasn't a new feeling. to be honest, this recurring sentiment kept you company longer than childe did. but you guessed that was just the trouble with loving a wild thing: you were always left watching the door, waiting for him to walk back through it.

dainsleif — "in the crooks of your body, i find my religion." sappho.

dainsleif was never a holy man, the word itself left a bad taste in his mouth. recently, however, he has found himself following someone like the apostles trailed the lord: you.

how he went from avoiding archons to making one out of you, he had no idea. for all he knew now was the sound of your voice and the way honey escaped your lips; the feel of his fingers between your hair and how he wouldn't mind getting tangled in it; the abyss that was your eyes and drowning in the depth of them.

not that he would ever want you to know that's how he felt. after the despair of his nation and the loss of his mortality, he doesn't want to lift you up only to make you fall. he knows the pain of that feeling all too well. so while you said "hello" like an invitation, he said "goodbye" like a promise. but just as the gods broke their promises, so did he.

the twillight sword, named for his victories in battle, moved so gently as he pressed his body closer to your own. he was a dichotomy of sorts, his own personal paradox, with his person splintered into the roughness of his past and the softness of his future. he slipped an arm around your lower back and brought his other arm to rest over your head against the stone behind you, effectively trapping you between himself and a statue of the seven.

even with the close proximity, the blonde moved nearer still, and his pale hair could practically frame your own face.

"this seems rather sacreligious, does it not?" you breathed.

he gave a quick, indifferent glance to the anemo archon's statue pressing against your back. "i won't ask for his forgiveness. if anything, he would have to beg for mine." his words echoed in your ear and you could swear they were laced with poison.

"so you don't worship a god?"

he merely nodded in negation.

"what if i wanted you to worship me?"

"i would."

"you would?"

"yes," he held your body tighter, your gaze more intensely. "for in the crooks of your body, i find my religion."

in a final push against the stone diety, the knight closed the space between your lips; and, though he had never seen the inside of a church, his kiss was like a desperate prayer; fealty poured from his lips and your knees weakened with the taste of it. he kissed you like his life depended on it, like it was the only means by which he could achieve salvation.

his body consumed you—all you could sense was him. his scent tickled your nose; he smelled like sin. his taste flooded your mouth; he tasted like paradise. he was a cursed child of heaven and hell, and you wanted all of him.

diluc r. — "i could start fires with what i feel for you." david ramirez.

the hour hand was parallel and darkness consumed the sky. you didn't normally venture out this late, but you were struggling to sleep and desperately needed something besides laying open-eyed in bed to occupy your time. besides, the latern clutched in your left hand kept your vision dependable and your breathing even. did you really have anything to worry about?

yes. a lot of things, actually.

just after a few peaceful minutes alone, you heard crunching coming from behind, it's volume increasing in intensity as the seconds passed you by. it was a group of hilichurls beginning to trail you with their torches ablaze. you inwardly cursed yourself for your rash decisions and lack of preparedness and began your flee away from your pursuers. your heart beat acclerated with each step you took, the pads of your feet were stained with dirt and battered by tiny, loose branches.

you kept your face mostly forwards, only looking back to track your lead on them. but, as if it were someone's dying wish, your toes rammed into the edge of a rock portruding out from the ground and your face high-fived the earth.

with your unexpected (but not surprising) fall, you found yourself surrounded by a gang of fire-wielding hilichurls, all thirsting for blood. your blood, to be specific.

sighing in defeat, you slid your eyelids close and anticipated your end. or at least, a pain of some kind. but that feeling never came. hesistantly, you blinked your eyes open to find a man dressed in black swinging an enflamed claymore at your foes. with this man's sheer might, you kind of felt sorry for the little creatures, even though they tried to kill you mere moments ago. when the figure finished ridding the area of the hilichurls, the moonlight revealed his features as he turned to face you.

your mouth formed an "o" as you chuckled sheepishly, "um, thank you, diluc."

your relationship with the wine tycoon was...complicated. it could perhaps be best described as lot's of actions left undone and lots of words left unsaid.

his anger was tangible as he half-screamed, "why in teyvat are you out in the middle of the woods so late?"

"i couldn't sleep," your voice was barely audible.

though his anger was suffocating, you saw something else in his features besides fury. was it longing? desire? whatever it was, it looked alien on him.

silence was quick to consume the air between you, awkward glances and tense facial expressions the only communication ensuing. only with this quiet did you realize how close you were to him—so close you could cup his jaw with your palm. eventually, your mouth grew an itch that you needed to scratch. gathering confidence, you finally spoke.

"why are you looking at me like that?" your question was a whisper.

"like what?"

"like there's a flame behind your eyes."

"because i could start fires with what i feel for you." his reply was an oath.

he leaned in, lips touching lips, and all time seemed to stop. no longer did you hear the ticking of the clock, all that remained now was the beating of your heart and his. his kiss was heated in the way that made your toes curl and warm in the way that touched your heart at the same time.

he pulled away for a moment to catch his breath, asking, "and who wants to see the person they love mauled to death in the woods?"

as he brought his lips back to yours, you could feel his tounge slip into your mouth, a gentle yet insistent intrusion, and your body melted into his. you ran your fingers through his crimson hair, silently begging for more.

you were already so close—the pads of his fingers pressing desperately into your back, your legs wrapped around his torso, your scents mixing into a new genre of fragerence—but you wanted more. more, more, more.

itto a. — "his arms became a set of parentheses bracketing the sweetest secret phrase." christina lauren, love and other words

itto reminded you of the time old saying, a bull in a china shop. he was the notoriously clumsy harbinger of misfortune; but, while everyone else thought that to be a deal breaker, you found it to be an endearing part of the "arataki the-one-and-oni itto" package. some of your fondest memories with him were a product of his blundering behavior. one such memory was your first kiss:

waves rocked the wood beneathed your feet. you and itto had been taking a relaxing day trip on the ocean, simply cruising across the waves in each other's company. with the gentle dea breeze caressing your face and the sun's rays warming your skin, it was the most pacific day. until your lover spotted some fish, that is. with the weather as perfect as it was, it was not surprising that the purple-colored fish came out to play, their forms become visible as the neared the sea's surface. itto, his big arms and all, started paddling his palms through the water, thrashing about in an attempt to catch one.

"what in teyvat-" he couldn't see your face, but he could hear the smile in your voice.

"listen, you won't be laughing like that later when i catch you a new pet!"

looking back, he was kind of right—you certainly weren't laughing when this oaf of an oni fell overboard into the water and exclaimed, "help! i can't swim!" despite your shock, you curved your body over the helm of your small, shared boat and attempted to lug himback onboard. you didn't think you could do it, but, albeit arms straining, you managed to fish him out.

despite this feat, you soon realized that you can take an oni out of the water but you can't take the water out of an oni. since his eyes were still lidded even after slapping his face with the force of a thousand suns, you made an emergency decision: positioning yourself over his body, you pressed your lips to his, making your air his air. now, this wasn't as romantic as it sounds—you performed some wild chest compressions immediately afterwards. to your surprise, your rough first-aid skills did the job. itto's lashes slowly parted, revealing those two red eyes you adored so much.

between coughs, your lover exclaimed, "yo, i just had the coolest dream! we we're crusing on a boat and then some fish surfaced the water and then i tried to catch one and then i fell in-" his voice trailed when he saw the pair of humor and concern dancing in your eyes.

"i wasn't dreaming?"

"no."

"i almost drowned?"

"yes."

"you kissed me?"

"it's called CPR, you perv."

"well, could ya' do it again?"

laughing, you folded over the oni, your chest coming to rest on his. hands cupping his cheeks, you pressed a light and playful kiss against his lips. he moved his hands up to your shoulder blades and his arms thus became a set of parenthesis bracketing the sweetest phrase: you. fully trapped in itto's arms, your light pecks grew deeper with each passing second, leaving you breathless when you finally parted.

noticing your dazed expression, he gave you a smug smirk, saying, "told ya' you wouldn't be laughing later."

...you threw him back off the boat.

kaeya a. — "if you are intolerable, let me be the one to tolerate you." andrea gibson, lord of the butterflies.

a knock on the door stirred you from your slumber. flinging the duvet cover off your body, you wobbled towards to the front door of your mondstadt apartment. with a twist of your hand, the wooden entryway creaked open and revealed a pair of estranged brothers. the red-head stood steadily, acting as a pillar for his younger, highly intoxicated yet somehow concious brother.

"would you take him?"

"why would i not?"

you and diluc gently exchanged the fumbling calvary captain, muttering quiet "goodnights" as you went. kaeya's weight shifted onto to your shoulders and you helped maneuver him to a seat at your kitchen table as the older brother took his leave. your fingers held his chin, forcing his face to look at yours. your eyes searched his face, spotting beads of sweat framing his abnormally pale face. knowing he was in need of water, you swiped your index and middle finger through the air, conjuring a stream of water with your hydro vision. you slowly funnelled the adam's ale into his mouth, letting him swallow every drop.

"would you like something to eat? some toast maybe?" you questioned him softly.

he shook his head in negation, but his eyes betrayed him. you knew he wanted something to munch on, so you turned to prepare him some toast; but, it would appear that even his inebriated reflexes were faster than your sober ones. his hands jumped to your waist, holding you in place between his legs. "you don't have to do that. you should go back to bed," he began, his voice hoarse. "i'll be-"

"fine?" you scoffed. "kaeya, you can't lie and expect me to not notice. diluc of all people just dropped you off on my doorstep like a lost kitten. no, you are not fine. yes, i am getting you some food."

"but you shouldn't have to work yourself up over someone like me."

"someone like you?"

"someone self-destructive and sardonic. a glutton, a gimmick. an intolerable individual."

you gave him a tender smile, "well, you must not be too drunk if you can articulate all those fancy words," you pushed the hair out of his eyes before pressing on. "darling, if you are self-destrutive, let me piece you back together. if you are a glutton, let me give you more to take. if you are a gimmick, let me see the real you. if you are intolerable, let me be the one to tolerate you."

holding his stare, your words echoed through the room. you only hoped it had echoed in his mind too.

begrudgingly, kaeya dropped his hands, allowing you to retrieve something from the kitchen behind you. you topped some sourdough with bananas and honey, serving them on a ceramic plate. you sat with him as he had, using your melody to distract him from the voice inside his head. the conversation was a simple as "is the food okay" and "how was your day," but you could see the tension leave his shoulders with every word that left your lips.

with his last bite, his nerves finally calmed. you prayed this peace would never leave him.

-> likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! <3

@unluckyxxxxxxx

Always the Artist, Never the Muse

PAIRING: Hyunjin x male!reader

WARNING: Lots of Angst, boyxboy (bxb), school!au, rejection, reader has a girlfriend, reader uses jagi/jagiya on their girlfriend, told more from Hyunjin's point of view, reader's point of view is majority of the time with their girlfriend

SUMMARY: Hyunjin has a crush on you but you never seem to look his way. He always paints you and sketches you. But he's scared to approach you because he believes that you'll make fun of him for liking you so he likes you from a distance. Even though he knows that you have a girlfriend.

WORD COUNT: 2,843

A/N:

.°•○>><<○•°. = POV switch

`○°.• ✿ •.°○` = Timeskip

I might write a female version! Let me know if you'd like that too! This is based off of a poem I read on tiktok. It just screamed Hyunjin when I read it so I wrote about it!

You always saw a boy in your class stare at you. Hyunjin. Hwang Hyunjin. He was the boy that won that art competition in your class last year. You won't lie, his art was amazing but what was weird was him constantly staring at you. That was weird. Something about him was just-

"Hey lover!" Your girlfriend called out as you turned and smiled. "Hey jagi." You said, kissing her on the cheek.

You turned and looked back to Hyunjin, the boy was gone. You wondered where the peculiar boy went. You sighed but enjoyed your time with your girlfriend.

.°•○>><<○•°.

Hyunjin was hiding behind the wall by the classroom door trying not to let his heart break and at the same time jump out of his chest.

He was hurt that you kissed your girlfriend but then again, it was your girlfriend. There's nothing he could do to stop it. He sighed, hoping that he could be in your girlfriend's shoes.

At the same time, he was smiling knowing that you looked at him and noticed him.

`○°.• ✿ •.°○`

A few weeks passed since the incident and Hyunjin still wasn't over it. He still couldn't believe it. As he was spacing out while walking he bumped into you.

"Ah, I'm so sorry." He said as he bowed an apology. "Don't worry about it." You said smiling as Hyunjin realized who it was. He realized a little too late after he lifted his head. He blushed in embarrassment and scratched his neck nervously.

"Hey, you're Hwang Hyunjin right? The guy that won the art contest right?" You asked as Hyunjin nodded bashfully. "Awh, that's amazing. Your art is amazing as well. Maybe you can paint me one day." You said, half joking and half serious. However, Hyunjin liked you so much that he already could draw you from just memory.

"My girlfriend is planning to run for the one art competition coming up for scholarship." Hyunjin was hurt to hear you mention your girlfriend, but his petty side spoke up and said, "What art contest? I think I might've signed up too." You chuckled, "I think it was called KNUA? Korea National University of Arts." He said as Hyunjin let out his fakest giggle.

"I'm going there too! What a coincidence." He lied as you stood there he was flattered, and you guys traded numbers.

Later that same day, he went to go sign his name, read the details, and go get his materials.

.°•○>><<○•°.

After the conversation with Hyunjin you went back to your girlfriend. You smiled at her as you saw her painting. You silently crept behind her as you hugged her from the back.

"Hey jagi, I got what you needed." You said as she smiled and hugged you. "Thank you so much!" She said, you chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Anything for you lover." You told her.

`○°.• ✿ •.°○`

There was approximately a week and a half left until the showcase. You were supporting your girlfriend as she was almost finished. You smiled as she looked happy with her piece.

"What do you think so far jagi?" She asked as you looked at the painting. It was with two people hugging, laying down. While in what seems to be an unfinished painted casket. "Why a casket?" You asked as she smiled. "I'm taking the marriage vow, 'till death do us part' literally." She said as you nodded your head. "You're so smart." You told her as you admired it. "I don't get art but that was really smart." She giggled at that.

"I need more paint, can you go get me some from the store?" She asked as you nodded, kissing her head and leaving to the art store.

You practically had the directions memorized by how much your girlfriend went there.

As you walked in, you saw Hyunjin in the store and walked over to him. "Hey Hyunnie," You said, "I didn't know you shopped here too." As you finished your sentence he jumped. "Oh, it's just you..." He said, taking a sigh. "Of course, who else would it be Hyunnie." You told him as he turned around and turned his slightly downwards. "Did you just call me 'Hyunnie'?" He asked as you nodded.

"Woah, you have so many feminine features." You told him, moving his hair out of his face to look at his face. "Your eyelashes are so long, your hair is silky smooth, not to mention your lips are amazing, they are plump and full." You admired as he pulled back. "Thank you..." He thanked softly as you smiled.

"Only a week and a half left. How's your painting?" You asked as he stood frozen in place. "I-It's done, just gotta add a few more details." He said, his voice stuttering in the beginning. "Are you okay Hyunnie what's up with the stutters. "It's nothing. I'm gonna go pay. I'll see you whenever y/nnie..." He said as he got in line.

.°•○>><<○•°.

After he paid for his stuff, he walked home blushing like crazy, thinking about the situation. You gave him a nickname. That alone made Hyunjin blush. What made him blush even more was that you had touched his hair and his face. That drove him wild.

He didn’t know what to do. He felt awkward and didn’t know how to reply. He hid his face all the way home. He saw your car as you rolled down your window.

"Hey, it's kind of hot, you want a ride home? I have the ac cranked up." You offered as he nodded and sat in the back seat. "Hey, I'm not your uber, I'm your friend, come sit next me in the passenger seat." He nodded and sat in the passenger seat.

While Hyunjin sat and buckled his seatbelt you put your phone on the phone stand on your car. "What's your address?" You asked, he told you his address as you smiled and put on his gps. "Feel free to play music." You said as Hyunjin nodded.

He put on his favorite song, i hate to admit by Bangchan.

You smiled as you sang along to the song. Hyunjin was surprised as you sang. "You know this song?" He asked as you nodded. "This song helped me through my hardest times. When my mother passed. I felt really alone because I never met my father and losing the only other parental figure in my life hurt." You told him. He felt bad and tried reaching for your hand but he restrained himself and took his hand back.

"I'm sorry to hear that y/nnie..." He said as you chuckled, "Don't be, I know my mother would've loved to be with me right now. She still is but spiritually." He said, grabbing the photo in his visor mirror. "She would've loved Jiah." He said as Hyunjin felt his heart break. "How did you meet Jiah?" He asked as you smiled. "She had sprained her ankle during a class field trip. I had merely helped her and took her to the closest medical tent. She was grateful and offered me coffee. What became a mutual hang out became another, and another, then a date, then another date, then another, and soon we ended up dating. I asked her out, and she agreed."

Hyunjin nodded at the story, not knowing that the truth would hurt this badly.

"She was the highlight of my life." You said as Hyunjin bit his lower lip trying to ignore the watery eyes. "So why do you listen to this song Hyunnie?" You asked as he looked at you. "Similar to you. It helps me out and calms me down. It makes me understand that," He stopped his words as he sighed, "It makes me understand that I'm never going to have the one I want. I will only be on the side but never in frame." He said looking forward.

You sighed. "I know how that feels but hey, you're a catch. Anyone would be lucky to have you Hyunjin."

As you said that, he caught himself smiling slightly. The way his name rolled off your tongue just made the butterflies in his stomach flutter.

You pulled up to a house. "This your house?" You asked as he looked outside. "Yeah, this is it." He said unbuckling his seatbelt and grabbing his things. "Thank you y/nnie..." He silently thanked as you smiled. "Anytime Hyunnie."

As you went inside, he saw you drive off as he walked slowly, then he fell to the floor. Sobbing. He knew that he would never have a chance with you, but hearing how much you love your girlfriend just made his heart hurt in a way unimaginable. As he cried, his painting sat on the easel. Waiting to be showcased and finished.

.°•○>><<○•°.

You arrived back at your place, where your girlfriend was peacefully painting. Finishing the last few touches.

"Looks great jagiya." You said as she turned. "Y/n!" She exclaimed, hugging you close and tight. "I missed you." She said calmly this time as you smiled. "I missed you too." You said as she looked up at you. "What took you so long?" She asked, pulling you to the couch to sit. "I saw Hyunjin and dropped him off at home." You told her as she beamed and smiled. "I always thought Hyunjin was amazing! I always admired his art. I think I would've left you for him if he gave me a chance." She teased as you made a noise of surprise. "I'm just kidding jagi! I'm kidding! You know I love you too much for that!" She said. You hugged her close just then, "Good!" You said jokingly as she giggled. "Let me gooo! I need to finish!" She sang out as you tickled her. "Not a chance." You said while she laughed.

After calming down, she finished her painting. "All done! Now I need to write a title and the explanation on paper to have it exhibited and sign my name on it once it's dry." She said as you looked confused. "Why do you have to do all that?" You asked as she giggled. "So it's, professional jagi." She told you as she went to the kitchen. "What do you want to eat? Dinner is on me tonight." She said as you covered your mouth. "No offense jagi... but you're better off painting..." You teased. "Why you little... fine! Then you can starve!" She said. "I'm kidding! Jagi! Jiah!" You said chasing after her.

`○°.• ✿ •.°○`

It was the night before the exhibition. Your girlfriend loaded everything in your car as she smiled. "You ready for tomorrow?" You asked as she nodded. "So ready!" She replied as you took her inside to sleep.

.°•○>><<○•°.

Hyunjin had just finished writing the explanation. He smiled sadly at his piece. If any other person saw him, they'd think Hyunjin was unhappy or sad about his piece. Truth be told, it was because of the piece that he was sad. Hyunjin loaded everything in his car and slept, ready for the exhibition tomorrow.

Hyunjin got up, washed his face, brushed his teeth, did his skincare, ate, applied a lip balm, packed his bag and left. Ready for the exhibition.

When he got there he saw other students from his school with fabulous pieces. They didn't cover theirs like Hyunjin did but he knew that his painting was special to him.

He had seen you and Jiah together. You kissed Jiah and wished her good luck. That. Had hurt. He saw Jiah's painting. It was beautiful but again, nothing could compare to how special his painting was.

After all the contestants, Jiah was second to last and Hyunjin was last.

"Now welcome up on the stage, Miss Kim Jiah!" They called out as she walked up, placing her painting on the easel. "Hello everyone! I'm Kim Jiah. My painting is titled 'Till Death Do Us Part'. The reason I chose this is because, ironically, enough. My boyfriend and I plan to get married after high school. I know it's super sickening, but listen to me. The reason why I chose this is because I don't know what I would do without him. I really do value my loved ones. My role model in my life was always my father because he swore to my mother this vow when they got married. My mother cheated on him, and yet he forgave her and ended up being with her even when she was pregnant with another child that wasn't his. He loved her. He really did. Then the accident came. My mother was barely clinging to life, and my father told the doctors to take anything they needed from him to save her. Unfortunately, my half-sister passed, and that same day, I lost both my parents. I remember my mother telling my father she was pregnant with another child who wasn't his, and all he did was hold her hand and told her, 'I'll never stop loving you. I forgive you. Remember our vows. Till death do us part.' Thank you for listening.' She said as the audience erupted in applause.

The announcer then stepped onto the stage, "Thank you so much for that Miss Kim with your painting and your story of the origin of that painting. Now, welcome onto the stage, our previous winner of last year, Hwang Hyunjin!" As Hyunjin stepped onto the stage, the audience clapped and cheered. Hyunjin placed his covered painting on the easel. "Hello, as some of you may know. My name is Hwang Hyunjin." He said looking for you in the audience. Once he locked eyes with you, he knew that this was going to be a scary yet relieving explanation. "My painting is called, 'Always the Artist, Never the Muse.'" He said as he unveiled the painting, it was the most beautiful painting of a man. A man similar looking to you. "The reason why I painted this man is because this is the man that I love." He admitted as the audience murmured. "I know what you guys are thinking, but just listen. I've loved this man for so long. Since my grade school years. I watched him grow and become amazing. However, I know that he would never see me like that. I say that because he has someone who he holds dear to him already. I'm honestly jealous. I wish I could be that close to his heart as she is. Whenever I see them, my heart breaks knowing that I could've been the one in his arms. I know that sounds selfish. But I couldn't ask for someone more or even close to perfect as him. He is just the most amazing person you'll know. He and I just got closer recently and all I feel is my heart jumping out at my chest whenever I talk to him. But whenever he looks at me with those eyes, it's because he's not looking at me, he's looking behind me. Those eyes are just for me to see that it's a sight that will never belong to me. so I decided to capture that loving look he gives to his girlfriend, because I am always the artist, never the muse. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me." He said as he looked at you. Who just stood there shocked. As the audience roared in applause and cheers as some cried. Hyunjin bowed, took his painting, and went off the stage taking a sigh of relief as the other contestants congratulated him for coming out to the world.

After all the art pieces were exhibited. Hyunjin sat by his piece, as he felt another person sit next to him. He looked, and it was you.

"Hey." You said. "Hey." Hyunjin replied as you started, "Look-" Hyunjin cut you off, "I know don't worry y/n. I know you don't love me or see me that way." He said as you sighed. "It's not just that. But, Jiah isn't comfortable with me being friends with you when we are both aware that you have feelings for me. I'm sorry Hyunjin." You said dryly as you stood up. "I'm glad I could be here to support you at least." You said, walking away.

Before Hyunjin could cry they called all the contestants on stage.

"Votes are in and now the student winning the scholarship is..." Everything went in one ear out the other, Hyunjin could've cared less, because he lost someone important to him that's what Hyunjin considered a tragedy to all. "Hwang Hyunjin! Our infamous winner from the year before as well!" The announcer said, as Hyunjin was given an envelope of acceptance to KNUA. Hyunjin didn't care. He had lost the person most important to him. It was more important than this stupid acceptance paper. To him, you were the world.

He fell to the floor in tears because he knew that him being with you would never happen. Only in his dreams, because he is always the artist, never the muse.