Don't Self-isolate Because You Feel Too Awkward, Anxious Or Afraid That You Will Bother Others. You Deserve

september is here! school is back in session and fall is right around the corner, so of course this calls for a guide. i’ll be talking about everything from mindset to fashion to get you ready for the cozy season! 🍂☕

before we get into it, i highly recommend you read my dream girl guide and my study like bambi post if you haven’t already. it covers everything related to habits, self discipline, and studying tips from a straight A student that i won’t be too specific about in this post. if you did, you’ll notice that this is basically a reworked general version for school. nonetheless, enjoy this guide ♡

we will be focusing on:

new mindset. school work, reflection, friend groups, habits, how to cope with anxiety attacks…

framework. how to be at the top of your game. scheduling, organization tips…

physical: vibes, outfit, hair, nails, perfumes, and vibes inspo!

declutter. room, phone, friends, old habits…

important things to know aka a send off letter from me!

affirmations

          𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐒𝐄𝐓

what are your priorities? #1 should be you. prioritize your happiness, health, and safety. always! this part is important because if you know what’s right for you then you will naturally always lean towards goals and actions that are best for you! i talk more about this here.

once school is back in session it is SO EASY to fall back into bad habits and negative mindsets because of the people around you and the stress and pressure that surrounds having good grades all the while maintaining your physical & mental health. 

now it’s time to let go of all and any limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, toxic habits and people and be the top student you are! anyone can level up.

habits to cultivate:

finding and setting up a system that works for you.

putting your needs first

getting your work done on time

paying attention in class.

don’t study until you get it right, study until you can’t get it wrong.

lessen phone usage.

self discipline. keeping up the momentum.

STEPPING UP FOR YOURSELF.

habits to let go of:

being rude to yourself. not knowing you’re always trying your best.

procrastinating

wanting to give up just because you “failed”

being on your phone more than doing what you enjoy. (hanging out with friends, staying to yourself, studying, getting coffee…)

letting others undermine your potential.

limiting beliefs and negative thoughts, knowing that they are not yours.

staying up all night for unnecessary reasons.

the rest is under the cut!

Keep reading

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words to use when writing

Appetite:

craving, demand, gluttony, greed, hunger, inclination, insatiable, longing, lust, passion, ravenousness, relish, taste, thirst, urge, voracity, weakness, willingness, yearning, ardor, dedication, desire, devotion, enthusiasm, excitement, fervor, horny, intensity, keenness, wholeheartedness, zeal

Arouse:

agitate, awaken, electrify, enliven, excite, entice, foment, goad, incite, inflame, instigate, kindle, provoke, rally, rouse, spark, stimulate, stir, thrill, waken, warm, whet, attract, charm, coax, fire up, fuel, heat up, lure, produce, stir up, tantalize, tease, tempt, thrum, torment, wind up, work up

Assault:

attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation, ambush, assail, barrage, bombard, bombardment, crackdown, wound

Beautiful: 

admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime, attractive, beguiling, captivating, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, eye-catching, fetching, fine, fine-looking, good-looking, handsome, inviting, lovely, mesmeric, mesmerizing, pretty, rakish, refined, striking, tantalizing, tempting

Brutal:

atrocious, barbarous, bloodthirsty, callous, cruel, feral, ferocious, hard, harsh, heartless, inhuman, merciless, murderous, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, terrible, unmerciful, vicious, bestial, brute, brutish, cold-blooded, fierce, gory, nasty, rancorous, sadistic, uncompromising, unfeeling, unforgiving, unpitying, violent, wild

Burly:

able-bodied, athletic, beefy, big, brawny, broad-shouldered, bulky, dense, enormous, great, hard, hardy, hearty, heavily built, heavy, hefty, huge, husky, immense, large, massive, muscular, mighty, outsized, oversized, powerful, powerfully built, prodigious, robust, solid, stalwart, stocky, stout, strapping, strong, strongly built, sturdy, thick, thickset, tough, well-built, well-developed

Carnal:

animalistic, bodily, impure, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, lustful, physical, prurient, salacious, sensuous, voluptuous, vulgar, wanton, , coarse, crude, dirty, raunchy, rough, unclean

Dangerous:

alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous, precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked, acute, damaging, deadly, death-defying, deathly, destructive, detrimental, explosive, grave, harmful, hazardous, injurious, lethal, life-threatening, noxious, poisonous, risky, severe, terrifying, toxic, unsafe, unstable, venomous

Dark:

atrocious, corrupt, forbidding, foul, infernal, midnight, morbid, ominous, sinful, sinister, somber, threatening, twilight, vile, wicked, abject, alarming, appalling, baleful, bizarre, bleak, bloodcurdling, boding evil, chilling, cold, condemned, creepy, damned, daunting, demented, desolate, dire, dismal, disturbing, doomed, dour, dread, dreary, dusk, eerie, fear, fearsome, frightening, ghastly, ghostly, ghoulish, gloom, gloomy, grave, grim, grisly, gruesome, hair-raising, haunted, hideous, hopeless, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrific, horrifying, horror, ill-fated, ill-omened, ill-starred, inauspicious, inhospitable, looming, lost, macabre, malice, malignant, menacing, murky, mysterious, night, panic, pessimistic, petrifying, scary, shadows, shadowy, shade, shady, shocking, soul-destroying, sour, spine-chilling, spine-tingling, strange, terrifying, uncanny, unearthly, unlucky, unnatural, unnerving, weird, wretched

Delicious:

enticing, exquisite, luscious, lush, rich, savory, sweet, tasty, tempting, appetizing, delectable, flavorsome, full of flavor, juicy, lip-smacking, mouth-watering, piquant, relish, ripe, salty, spicy, scrummy, scrumptious, succulent, tangy, tart, tasty, yummy, zesty

Ecstasy:

delectation, delirium, elation, euphoria, fervor, frenzy, joy, rapture, transport, bliss, excitement, happiness, heaven, high, paradise, rhapsody, thrill, blissful, delighted, elated, extremely happy, in raptures (of delight), in seventh heaven, jubilant, on cloud nine, overexcited, overjoyed, rapturous, thrilled

Ecstatic:

delirious, enraptured, euphoric, fervent, frenzied, joyous, transported, wild

Erotic:

amatory, amorous, aphrodisiac, carnal, earthy, erogenous, fervid, filthy, hot, impassioned, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, raw, romantic, rousing, salacious, seductive, sensual, sexual, spicy, steamy, stimulating, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous, tantalizing

Gasp:

catch of breath, choke, gulp, heave, inhale, pant, puff, snort, wheeze, huff, rasp, sharp intake of air, short of breath, struggle for breath, swallow, winded 

Heated:

ardent, avid, excited, fervent, fervid, fierce, fiery, frenzied, furious, impassioned, intense, passionate, raging, scalding, scorched, stormy, tempestuous, vehement, violent, ablaze, aflame, all-consuming, blazing, blistering, burning, crazed, explosive, febrile, feverish, fired up, flaming, flushed, frantic, hot, hot-blooded, impatient, incensed, maddening, obsessed, possessed, randy, searing, sizzling, smoldering, sweltering, torrid, turbulent, volatile, worked up, zealous

Hunger:

appetite, ache, craving, gluttony, greed, longing, lust, mania, mouth-watering, ravenous, voracious, want, yearning, thirst

Hungry:

avid, carnivorous, covetous, craving, eager, greedy, hungered, rapacious, ravenous, starved, unsatisfied, voracious, avaricious, desirous, famished, grasping, insatiable, keen, longing, predatory, ravening, starving, thirsty, wanting

Intense:

forceful, severe, passionate, acute, agonizing, ardent, anxious, biting, bitter, burning, close, consuming, cutting, deep, eager, earnest, excessive, exquisite, extreme, fervent, fervid, fierce, forcible, great, harsh, impassioned, keen, marked, piercing, powerful, profound, severe, sharp, strong, vehement, violent, vivid, vigorous

Liquid:

damp, cream, creamy, dripping, ichorous, juicy, moist, luscious, melted, moist, pulpy, sappy, soaking, solvent, sopping, succulent, viscous, wet / aqueous, broth, elixir, extract, flux, juice, liquor, nectar, sap, sauce, secretion, solution, vitae, awash, moisture, boggy, dewy, drenched, drip, drop, droplet, drowning, flood, flooded, flowing, fountain, jewel, leaky, milky, overflowing, saturated, slick, slippery, soaked, sodden, soggy, stream, swamp, tear, teardrop, torrent, waterlogged, watery, weeping

Lithe:

agile, lean, pliant, slight, spare, sinewy, slender, supple, deft, fit, flexible, lanky, leggy, limber, lissom, lissome, nimble, sinuous, skinny, sleek, slender, slim, svelte, trim, thin, willowy, wiry

Moan:

beef, cry, gripe, grouse, grumble, lament, lamentation, plaint, sob, wail, whine, bemoan, bewail, carp, deplore, grieve, gripe, grouse, grumble, keen, lament, sigh, sob, wail, whine, mewl

Moving:

(exciting,) affecting, effective  arousing, awakening, breathless, dynamic, eloquent, emotional, emotive, expressive, fecund, far-out, felt in gut, grabbed by, gripping, heartbreaking, heartrending, impelling, impressive, inspirational, meaningful, mind-bending, mind-blowing, motivating, persuasive, poignant, propelling, provoking, quickening, rallying, rousing, significant, stimulating, simulative, stirring, stunning, touching, awe-inspiring, energizing, exhilarating, fascinating, heart pounding, heart stopping, inspiring, riveting, thrilling

Need:

compulsion, demand, desperate, devoir, extremity, impatient longing, must, urge, urgency / desire, appetite, avid, burn, craving, eagerness, fascination, greed, hunger, insatiable, longing, lust, taste, thirst, voracious, want, yearning, ache, addiction, aspiration, desire, fever, fixation, hankering, hope, impulse, inclination, infatuation, itch, obsession, passion, pining, wish, yen

Pain: 

ache, afflict, affliction, agony, agonize, anguish, bite, burn, chafe, distress, fever, grief, hurt, inflame, laceration, misery, pang, punish, sting, suffering, tenderness, throb, throe, torment, torture, smart

Painful:

aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing, tormenting, angry, bleeding, bloody, bruised, cutting, hurting, injured, irritated, prickly, skinned, smarting, sore, stinging, unbearable, uncomfortable, upsetting, wounded

Perverted: 

aberrant, abnormal, corrupt, debased, debauched, defiling, depraved, deviant, monstrous, tainted, twisted, vicious, warped, wicked, abhorrent, base, decadent, degenerate, degrading, dirty, disgusting, dissipated, dissolute, distasteful, hedonistic, immodest, immoral, indecent, indulgent, licentious, nasty, profligate, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, shameful, shameless, sickening, sinful, smutty, sordid, unscrupulous, vile 

Pleasurable:

charming, gratifying, luscious, satisfying, savory, agreeable, delicious, delightful, enjoyable, nice, pleasant, pleasing, soothing, succulent

Pleasure:

bliss, delight, gluttony, gratification, relish, satisfaction, thrill, adventure, amusement, buzz, contentment, delight, desire, ecstasy, enjoyment, excitement, fun, happiness, harmony, heaven, joy, kick, liking, paradise, seventh heaven 

Rapacious:

avaricious, ferocious, furious, greedy, predatory, ravening, ravenous, savage, voracious, aggressive, gluttonous, grasping, insatiable, marauding, plundering

Rapture:

bliss, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, glory, gratification, passion, pleasure, floating, unbridled joy

Rigid:

adamant, austere, definite, determined, exact, firm, hard, rigorous, solid, stern, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding, concrete, fixed, harsh, immovable, inflexible, obstinate, resolute, resolved, severe, steadfast, steady, stiff, strong, strict, stubborn, taut, tense, tight, tough, unbending, unchangeable, unwavering

Sudden:

abrupt, accelerated, acute, fast, flashing, fleeting, hasty, headlong, hurried, immediate, impetuous, impulsive, quick, quickening, rapid, rash, rushing, swift, brash, brisk, brusque, instant, instantaneous, out of the blue, reckless, rushed, sharp, spontaneous, urgent, without warning

Thrust:

(forward) advance, drive, forge, impetus, impulsion, lunge, momentum, onslaught, poke, pressure, prod, propulsion, punch, push, shove, power, proceed, progress, propel

(push hard) assail, assault, attack, bear down, buck, drive, force, heave, impale, impel, jab, lunge, plunge, press, pound, prod, ram, shove, stab, transfix, urge, bang, burrow, cram, gouge, jam, pierce, punch, slam, spear, spike, stick

Thunder-struck:

amazed, astonished, aghast, astounded, awestruck, confounded, dazed, dazed, dismayed, overwhelmed, shocked, staggered, startled, stunned, gob-smacked, bewildered, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, horrified, incredulous, surprised, taken aback 

Torment:

agony, anguish, hurt, misery, pain, punishment, suffering, afflict, angst, conflict, distress, grief, heartache, misfortune, nightmare, persecute, plague, sorrow, strife, tease, test, trial, tribulation, torture, turmoil, vex, woe

Touch:

(physical) - blow, brush, caress, collide, come together, contact, converge, crash, cuddle, embrace, feel, feel up, finger, fondle, frisk, glance, glide, graze, grope, handle, hit, hug, impact, join, junction, kiss, lick, line, manipulate, march, massage, meet, nudge, palm, partake, pat, paw, peck, pet, pinch, probe, push, reach, rub, scratch, skim, slide, smooth, strike, stroke, suck, sweep, tag, tap, taste, thumb, tickle, tip, touching, toy, bite, bump, burrow, buss, bury, circle, claw, clean, clutch, cover, creep, crush, cup, curl, delve, dig, drag, draw, ease, edge, fiddle with, flick, flit, fumble, grind, grip, grub, hold, huddle, knead, lap, lave, lay a hand on, maneuver, manhandle, mash, mold, muzzle, neck, nestle, nibble, nip, nuzzle, outline, play, polish, press, pull, rasp, ravish, ream, rim, run, scoop, scrabble, scrape, scrub, shave, shift, shunt, skate, slip, slither, smack, snake, snuggle, soothe, spank, splay, spread, squeeze, stretch, swipe, tangle, tease, thump, tongue, trace, trail, tunnel twiddle, twirl, twist, tug, work, wrap 

(mental) - communicate, examine, inspect, perception, scrutinize

Wet:

bathe, bleed, burst, cascade, course, cover, cream, damp, dampen, deluge, dip, douse, drench, dribble, drip, drizzle, drool, drop, drown, dunk, erupt, flood, flow, gush, immerse, issue, jet, leach, leak, moisten, ooze, overflow, permeate, plunge, pour, rain, rinse, run, salivate, saturate, secrete, seep, shower, shoot, slaver, slobber, slop, slosh, sluice, spill, soak, souse, spew, spit, splash, splatter, spout, spray, sprinkle, spurt, squirt, steep, stream, submerge, surge, swab, swamp, swill, swim, trickle, wash, water

Wicked:

abominable, amoral, atrocious, awful, base, barbarous, dangerous, debased, depraved, distressing, dreadful, evil, fearful, fiendish, fierce, foul, heartless, hazardous, heinous, immoral, indecent, intense, mean, nasty, naughty, nefarious, offensive, profane, scandalous, severe, shameful, shameless, sinful, terrible, unholy, vicious, vile, villainous, wayward, bad, criminal, cruel, deplorable, despicable, devious, ill-intentioned, impious, impish, iniquitous, irreverent, loathsome, Machiavellian, mad, malevolent, malicious, merciless, mischievous, monstrous, perverse, ruthless, spiteful, uncaring, unkind, unscrupulous, vindictive, virulent, wretched

Writhe: 

agonize, bend, jerk, recoil, lurch, plunge, slither, squirm, struggle, suffer, thrash, thresh, twist, wiggle, wriggle, angle, arc, bow, buck, coil, contort, convulse, curl, curve, fidget, fight, flex, go into spasm, grind, heave, jiggle, jolt, kick, rear, reel, ripple, resist, roll, lash, lash out, screw up, shake, shift, slide, spasm, stir, strain, stretch, surge, swell, swivel, thrust, turn violently, tussle, twitch, undulate, warp, worm, wrench, wrestle, yank 

“how to” masterlist | adult cheat sheet ⋆·˚ ༘ *

download free books! the world’s largest ebook library - read as much as you can! and read with an open mind ♡

daily living

manifest using the law of assumption

quick fix meals - 30 minutes or less!

easy meals for when there’s “nothing” to eat

how to use a charcoal grill

what to do when you can’t afford therapy

things to keep in your car incase of emergencies + tips for driving in the winter

where the fuck should i go for drinks? an app to find places near you.

birth control info

book recommendations for

100 organization tips (slideshow style! dont worry about endless scrolling.)

the ultimate laundry fabric care cheat sheet

step by step guide to laundry + laundry symbols

ideas for closet organization

know your rights and what to do when the cops pull you over

how to send a letter

a sweet message from dad how do i?

book recommendations (free)

master your emotions: a practical guide to overcome negativity and better manage your feelings

big panda and tiny dragon -  amazon link, i couldn’t find a pdf for this one :(

atomic habits: tiny changes, remarkable results

the 7 habits of highly effective people: powerful lessons in personal change

how to win friends and influence people

the 4-hour workweek: escape 9-5, live anywhere, and join the new rich 

the 48 laws of power

power of now

recommended reads for surviving adulthood (video)

affirmations

30 self concept affirmations

+ more will come soon!

finances

financial managment app - free

money management 101 + how to manage your money

how to open up a bank account

what’s a mortgage? loan basics for beginners

how to write a check

things to know when you have trouble paying your bills

how to do your taxes

resume workshop

car

how to jumpstart your car

how to change a flat tire

how to check your car’s fluids

how to check the air pressure in your tires

how to check and change you car oil - a complete guide video

health

things to know before you pick a health insurance plan

your first gynecologist appointment

taking care of yourself when you’re sick

note: please don’t overwhelm yourself with this post. you’re doing amazing. these things are just good to know, us humans are not built for remembering ALL of these things!!! when you’re having trouble or need some tips, this post is to be your go to reference!!

**if any links no longer work, send me an ask and i’ll fix it right away.

reminder to always cross reference if you don’t understand the linked posts. these are just things to piggy back on to get you started.

+ i’ll add more things such as daily tips and advice as time goes on and when i make tumblr posts. 

this post was inspired by this user! so shout out to them. most of it was missing so i decided why not make one myself while adding things of my touch. i hope this helps!

~ weekend shopping...~

getting ready for dream girl summer 🌸🫧

a post on getting through the summer flawlessly as a dream girl <3

getting through summer looks like… basking & glowing in the beautiful sun, traveling, going out with ease, having fun, being messy and more. so let’s begin.

♡ categories: 

what does your ideal summer for this year look like? ideas, moodboards

physical: summer essentials, what to wear, makeup looks, luxuries, summer reads and bucket lists. 

mental: mindset, wellness, reads and bucket list ideas

  ♡ what’s your ideal summer? ♡

you create the definition of dream girl and it can always change. so decide what your mind and body needs. is this a time for healing? or is this a time to be adventurous?

do you see yourself in nature, enjoying the silence after a chaotic winter and spring? or going to parties, hanging out with friends, meeting new people and trying so many new things?

or why not both? 💋

some bucket list ideas:

spend more time outside than on your phone

have a morning routine. don’t lose structure in the day. switch it up for summer and make it fun.

make a list of nice restaurants in the city to try out

plan out picnic dates

buy disposable cameras and have them developed at the end of summer!

go skydiving

go to a fancy hotel bar and leave the place with someone’s number (or many)

go on late night drives!

explore a random city

try out new foods

most important of all: follow your gut. keep your safety your #1 priority.

                         physical

♡ summer essentials

sunscreen duhh, is a must no matter the season, especially for summer.

⤷ apply sunscreen before you go out and reapply ever 2 hours. look for products that are: lightweight & nonsticky, don’t leave a white cast, spf 50++

anything from sol de janeiro ugh <3

waterproof jewelry

sunglasses

sea salt spray

shimmer body oil

after sun care

your signature scent for summer (scent recommendations below)

pack light and smart with makeup if you’re one to touch up: lipstick (can be used for your eyes and cheeks also), eyeliner, etc.

hair clips/ties

qtips for makeup smudges

mini fan to cool down

small wallet

have fun and unplug but if it’s a must, carry a portable charger if you didn’t charge it in the car or before you left the house.

tissues (for sweat, blotches)

♡ outfit essentials

sundresses

mini !! skirts !!

mules

bikini tops as regular tops

gold hoop earrings

silk scarves

flowy bottoms, skirts, dresses

a cute cover up

patterns

mini bag

backless tops

                         beauty

♡ warmer weather calls for natural, glowy looks

the sun is out so it’s only natural for me to want to glow when the sun is hitting my face and body ♡ i love to really highlight my highest points.

applying subtle gold shimmer on your eyelids

lipgloss!

preferably one that is hydrating, slightly pigmented to bring out the colors in your lips & glowy. not sticky. my recommendation is the dior lip glow stick.

highlighter

my favorite is mac’s strobe highlighter in peachlite. it honestly gives my skin such a beautiful and subtle pink glow to my face!! i love applying it before my makeup.

⤷ don’t forget your collarbones and shoulders.

there is nothing else that makes me feel like a radiating goddess walking down the street when i put highlighter on my body.

⤷ also, layering powder products on top of wet/creamy products make them more pigmented! this is why you see some people wet their eyeshadow brushes before dipping them into the product ♡

blushed & flushed or nothing!

who doesn’t love a good blushed face during the summer? just because your blush is visible doesnt mean you’re wearing too much!!!! own it!!

have fun with subtle pops of color 💋

it doesn’t have to be too crazy. keep it simple.

ideas can be:

- two toned eyeshadows

- colorful winged eyeliners

- a bold lip

nails ♡

- fun & bright colors like orange & blue

- if you want to keep it simple: french tips, nudes!

♡ summer scent recommendations

marc jacobs perfect

delina - de marly

le labo thé noir 29

chanel chance

replica beachwalk & bubble bath

tom ford soleil blanc, lost cherry, neroli portofino, bitter peach

good chemistry coco blush

victoria secret bombshell beach

ariana grande - sweet like candy

solinotes cherry blossom

              for the mind & soul

♡ summer reads

nothing better than a good summer read. here are some recommendations!

my year of rest and relaxation - ottessa moshfegh

it happened one summer - tessa bailey

hook, line, and sinker - tessa bailey

beach read by emily henry

people we meet on vacation by emily henry

book lovers by emily henry

one hot italian summer - karina halle

malibu rising - taylor jenkins reid

every summer after by carley fortune

the wedding crasher by mia sosa

twisted series - ana huang (twisted love, twisted games, twisted hate, twisted lies)

birthday girl - penelope douglas

love & gelato - jenna evans welch

one italian summer - rebecca serle

hands down - mariana zapata

better than the movies - lynn painter

- have fun. kisses from blushydior ♡

not me crying after putting on a random ring onto my ring finger

i wanna get married so bad and i didnt even realise it until i put the ring on 😭

made of love & made to love

celestial scenery

do you have any posts abt decentering your life from men? i think i rely on male validation wayyyyyy too much lol. love your content btw ✨

✧˖° how to stop centering your life around men (because you have way better things to do)

(a guide to decentering men, breaking free from male validation & making yourself the main character for real this time)

so you’ve noticed it... the way your mood shifts depending on whether or not he texts you back, the way your confidence is high when you’re getting attention and low when you’re not. maybe you catch yourself subtly performing when guys are around, or maybe you find yourself molding into the kind of girl you think they’d want.

and honestly? same. we’ve all been there. society trains us to believe that being wanted is the ultimate achievement, that our worth is measured by how desirable we are to men. but that’s a lie. your life was never meant to revolve around them. you were always meant to be the sun, the main event, the entire storyline.

i really hope this post can help you understand you were never meant to revolve around them. love you - mindy

✧˖° step one: start seeing them for what they actually are

listen, it’s time to be so for real with yourself. ask: do I even like this man, or do I just like the attention? do I actually think he’s interesting, or do I just want him to think I’m interesting? do I want him, or do I just want to be chosen?

because half the time? the men we obsess over are painfully mediocre. and yet we assign them so much power. letting them dictate how we feel about ourselves, letting their validation (or lack of it) determine our worth.

take a step back. stop romanticizing them. start seeing them as human beings. flawed, regular, not the prize. the real prize? is you.

✧˖° step two: detox from male validation (yes, a real detox)

you don’t realize how much male validation fuels your self-worth until you cut it off. so let’s go cut. it. off.

for the next month, no:

dressing for male attention (dress for you instead).

posting just to see if he will like it.

checking who watched your stories.

replaying conversations to see if you sounded cool enough.

instead, every time you feel the urge to seek male validation, replace it with self-validation.

take pictures just for yourself.

romanticize your own opinion of you.

remind yourself that your value doesn’t shift based on their perception of you.

✧˖° step three: become the most interesting person you know

a lot of us center men in our lives because we have nothing else filling that space. so fill it. with things that actually excite you.

start a niche hobby that makes you feel alive (pottery, screenwriting, blogging (girlblogging to be exact), literally anything).

go to cafes alone, sit in the prettiest spot, and enjoy your own company.

build your dream life piece by piece, your wardrobe, your routines, your vibe.

when you’re truly obsessed with your own life, the need for male validation just… disappears. because suddenly, you’re so content, so full, that their attention feels like an afterthought.

✧˖° step four: unfollow the pick-me content (yes, even the guilty pleasure stuff)

what you consume matters. if your feed is filled with “how to make him obsessed with you” content, if you’re constantly absorbing media that glorifies male attention, you’re subconsciously reinforcing the idea that men = purpose.

so let’s cleanse. unfollow the pick-me content. mute the male gaze influencers. instead:

fill your feed with confident, self-sufficient women.

read books by powerful women who own their narrative.

watch movies where the female lead’s story isn’t about a man.

you are not the supporting character in a man’s story. start consuming content that reminds you of that. you are a goddess, an angel, the main character of YOUR story! please remember that <3

✧˖° step five: enforce the highest standards (with zero guilt)

decentering men doesn’t mean avoiding relationships, it just means refusing to settle. it means knowing that you don’t need male validation to be worthy. and that means setting real standards:

if he’s inconsistent? he’s gone.

if he makes you question your worth? he’s out.

if he needs you to shrink yourself to fit into his life? bye.

your love life should enhance your life, not become your life. you don’t need to be chosen. you need to be cherished. there’s a difference.

✧˖° mindy’s personal tips ✧˖°

some little things that helped me fully break free from male validation: ➝ talk to yourself like you’re the love of your life - hype yourself up in the mirror, take yourself on cute dates, write love letters to you.➝ wear perfume, do your hair, and put effort into your looks even when you’re alone. let your beauty be for you, not for male approval. ➝ when a guy doesn’t text back, shift your energy immediately. instead of spiraling, get up, put on music, do something fun. do not make him your focus.

✧˖° homework: shift your energy back to you

for the next week, every time you catch yourself seeking male validation, pause. redirect that energy inward. do something for yourself instead. and watch how your entire aura changes.

because when you stop chasing their approval? you start living for real.

love you <333 so sorry this reply was sooo late

xoxo mindy