Latest Posts by hyperfixationgodess87 - Page 6
╰(*´︶`*)╯ wake up!
Headcanon that the batfam has a Samsung smart refrigerator or whatever it's called, and it is used entirely for doing work while in the kitchen. There has been justice league meetings held on that motherfucker and nuclear threats disengaged.
So you know how in Gotham we have the 'does the butt match' fan theory and in metropolis the hot gossip is that 'whether Louis lane is cheating on Superman with Clark Kent' (ignoring the fact that Clark Kent and her are married with a kid 😭) what do you think is the big topic from Fawcett?
The first rule of driving the Batmobile is to have fun and be yourself
Bruce: How can you afford this on a reporters salary?
Clark: Oh Lex owes me child support.
Bruce: What?
Clark: Yeah, any damage Kon causes as superboy I mark as “after school activities.”
Batfam AU where Dick Grayson starts a YouTube channel during his time as Robin.
edit !: here's the fic!
It starts off as an educational channel, with Bruce and Dick making self-defense and survival tips videos. Gothamites love watching their dynamic play out, especially in the self defense videos as Robin is the one to demonstrate each move on Batman and despite the man's lack of facial expressions and quips, there's a sort of pride shining through.
Dick loves giving the people what they want however, so slowly the content starts diversifying into vlogs while they're on stake outs, challenge videos and the occasional prank.
Due to the various demands, they also start live streams for whenever they are practicing in the Cave.
It becomes a tradition for each new Robin to take over handling the channel, with other batfamily members joining in here and there.
hello average tumblr user. i want to play a game. in front of you is a female character. and i want you to genuinely and earnestly care about her without shipping her with a man, make her the mean lesbian best friend or the 'mum' friend. if you cannot manage to do this in the next 45 minutes i will release the hounds on you. live or die. make your choice
i love characters with prominent noses. the only reason i’ve ever given a character a small nose is to fulfill a diversity quota
young justice vs the titans is a very "bullying your younger siblings" vibe
He's so silly, he barely has a single brain cell 😺
Favourite colour: Green/Orange
Last song: Fright of our lives from Beetlejuce the musical
Currently reading: The Iliad, translated of course-
Currently watching: Lego monkie kid, Owl house and Ducktales
Currently craving: Chocolate. Just chocolate.
Coffee or Tea: Am I allowed to say neither I’m so sorry-
Current AU: A Lego mobile kid x Percy Jackson AU. It’s so self indulgent it’s not even funny but I like combining my hyperfixations.
I have no one to tag I’m scared of social interaction-
rules: answer and tag nine people you want to get to know better and catch up with.
favorite color: lavender and pale blue/green
last song: Ivy and also Gold Rush by Taylor Swift (I'm on a folklore+evermore kick rn)
currently reading: It Can't Happen Here, 100 Years of Solitude, and Anna Karenina
currently watching: VEEP and Game of Thrones
currently craving: coco water
coffee or tea: sugar and milk with a dash of coffee
hobby to try: i've always wanted to start my own insta account and fill it with nothing but poetry
current au: Not writing anything but i love a good high school au also magic aus bc magic makes anything better
I'm tagging
@the-unspeakable-tsar
@live-from-gotham
@scarlet--wiccan
@ellorypurebloodculture
@falconhonour
@multifandom-disaster
@welcometothehouseofhades
@oakheartshead
@moontyger
@redacted-magick
Saying goodbye to the Olympics with the Hexsquad doing some sports!!
I’M SORRY. WHAT
Achilles writing the codex:
Heard it was Yaoi day today, and I've been playing Hades-
the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol
<- Prev Masterlist Next ->
next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄
<- Prev Masterlist Next ->
Aw cmon Cass don’t ruin the fun
Tim, trying to come out to everyone: I'm dating Clark's son
Damian, looking up from his tablet: I'm also dating Clark's son...
Bruce, looking between his two kids: I'm dating Clark-
Dick: Holy shit now I'm glad I'm dating just Wally
Jason: You're dating Wally? Pfft- I'm dating Roy
Stephanie: I'm dating cA-
Cass, covering her mouth: I think that's enough reveals for one day.
Part Five; they're teenagers, don't freak out
Tim: You want to know a secret?
Jason, still texting: not really.
Tim: I don't really have a coffee addiction.
Jason: What? Tim: I just pretend to drink a lot of coffee, so when Bruce says "no more coffee," I don't have to stop drinking energy drinks Jason: You're lying. I see you with one of those stupid Batburger coffee cups like every day. Tim: There's no coffee in that. Tim: It's just red bull man. Jason: Why would you tell me this? Tim: Because no one will believe you.
The truth is a horrifying thing… Fred, how could you…
this is the best possible version of fred
This made me snort ngl
Buckle up children, cause I have a short story.
It just happened this week. It all started with some guy. This person placed in order for a new Bible. Nothing out of the ordinary. But when they get the package, they realize that this was not the Bible they ordered from Amazon. Oh no, it’s this.
Now once this picture is posted, everyone starts explaining what the book actually is, what Gravity Falls is and giving recommendations in overall they’re taking it really well .
Now this isn’t the funny part. Sure, getting the complete opposite of the Bible is one thing but then this happens…
 you couldn’t write better material than this. It’s been verified to be authentic story. The entire Gravity Falls Sub Reddit has gone wild over this.
I shall now live by this headcanon.
The batkids are known for sharing clothes amongst each other, so imagine everyone’s surprise when Jason won’t let them borrow his hoodie. Upon further inspection they find out it’s Roy’s hoodie. This causes a chain reaction and now Dick won’t let anyone borrow his Wally hoodie, Tim won’t let anyone borrow his Kon hoodie, Damian with Jon’s clothes(which there was no need for because Damian’s clothes never fit anyways), Duke with Izzy’s, Cass with Steph, and so on. After this “civil war” they all reluctantly agree to end this and all clothes (their own or not) is up for grabs. (minus Damian and Jon, of course)
bonus is when their partners steal the batkids clothes only to find out later that it’s definitely not a wayne kids clothing item.
Roy: That’s my sweater?
Wally: Yeah well Kon’s wearing my pants so…
Izzy: I’m probably wearing one of your boxers, it’s for sure not Dukes
Kon: how do you know?
Izzy: Because Duke doesn’t own Minecraft boxers???
Steph: Oh yeah sorry, those are mine
my friend just told me that she thinks billy batson would be in both the teen titans/young justice/sidekick groupchat and also the justice league groupchat and that he would send the kids groupchat screenshots of justice league drama
Vicki Vale: Mr. Wayne are you Batman?
Bruce Wayne: What is a “Bat man?”
—
Vicki Vale: Mr. Drake are you Red Robin?
Tim Drake: Like the restaurant?
—
Vicki Vale: So Cassandra, are you Orphan?
Cassandra Cain: No I’m not an orphan. I have a dad.
—
Vicki Vale: Mr. Thomas are you Signal?
Duke Thomas: Am I what?
Vicki Vale: Are you the Bat Signal?
Duke Thomas: That is the stupidest question I’ve ever been asked.
—
Vicki Vale: Damian, are you Robin?
Damian Wayne: Tt, I am not a bird. Are you well, Ms. Vale? I’m concerned for your mental state.
To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.
Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.
Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.
Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.
The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.
The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.
When I tell you I screeched in sheer panic. I felt like a Trojan whos totally unsuspicious wooden horse offering burr open to reveal an army bent on destroying you.
Mr. Jalapeno YESTERDAY: The Wisdom Saga will come out in the next few months! Most likely smetime before the end of the year, but no promises!😉
Me: Oh ok, that seems reasonable. This saga sounds REALLY packed.
Mr. Jalapeno TODAY: The Wisdom Saga is coming out in 21 days.
Me: *panics in Winionese*
Queer crime is the best crime ✨ you all loved the last Nimona piece so much I decided to expand on it and include all our fav queer criminals.
New print I designed for this week’s conventions! All the prints are 11x17, signed, and on a museum quality paper because I don’t believe in that cheap shit.
You can get it this weekend at Flame Con (if you’re around) or on sale this week here at the shop link:
