So This Is Pretty Long But It’s My First Edit XD The Song Is Really Pretty And It Fit He Tians Story

Went on a bike ride and got some flowers off the side of the road. Just goes to show beauty can be found anywhere just as long as you look for it.

Ok but does anyone else think SheLi looks a little scared in this frame? Almost like he realizes he might have gone too far? I don’t like him and I’m not trying to excuse what he did. That being said, it really looks like (to me at least) he is realizing the extent of the damage he has done and may even regret it. Even the group of people around him look terrified. You’d think that they would attack HeTian to prevent him from saving Jian but they don’t. They all just kind of look horrified.

—————————————————————

Actually video evidence of He Tian and Mo GuanShan interacting

——————————————————

Ah yes I’m just now getting courage to be here. I really like 19 days XD I’m a closet 19 days stalker oh boy

Being torn between wanting a new update but also wanting Old Xian to take their time and stay mentally and physically healthy

———————————————————

Bike rides and late nights

TianShan Trash

—— Description of panic attack! Please no read if you’re sensitive to that <3 ——

The lights flickered in Mo’s apartment constantly. When he was younger it bothered him but now he’s grown accustom to it. Due to the shitty wiring, sometimes the lights would completely shut off for a couple minutes. He can even recall times when they would shut off for hours. Because of this GuanShan had learned how to do things without light. As a kid he thought it was a super power but now he knows it’s just muscle memory.

Learning how to cut onions in the dark, shower with little to no light, or even walking around his home in pitch black darkness were skills that he was sure he’d never use later in life. This was until he met He Tian. Until tonight.

As usual, He Tian was at Mo’s house “studying”. It was more of Mo trying to study while He Tian annoys him into making food. Usually GuanShans mother would have food already made for them but she would be away for a few days visiting family members. Mo had opted out of going by saying he had a large test he needed to study for. The test he was trying to study for currently but a certain annoying dark haired boy was whining in his ear about how hungry he was.

“Mo~pleaseeeeeee~ I’m starving to death! I haven’t eaten since lunch~”

“Do I look like I give one single fuck? Go look in the fridge.”

“But I want you to make food~ it tastes better when you make it~”

“He Tian I don’t care. Go be annoying somewhere else.”

“Aww GuanShan you’ve cut me deep!” He Tian fainted onto Mo’s lap, pushing a very expensive calculator onto the ground, causing the back to come off and four small batteries to scatter everywhere.

“You chicken dick!! Look what you did!” Mo yelled, pushing He Tian off him and dropping to the ground. “Great! They rolled under the couch! I can’t fucking get them!”

He Tian chuckled at his angry red fluff reaching under the couch. He picked up the calculator and it’s back, “I’ll get new ones. Where do you keep them?”

“In the freezer.”

A loud laugh escaped He Tian, “What??”

Red blushed violently, “They last longer!”

“Whatever you s-“ The lights cut out for a few seconds and He Tian stopped dead in his tracks. When they came back on Mo caught a look of panick on his face. “What the hell was that?”

Mo stared at him blankly, “What was what?”

“The lights. Why did they cut out like that?”

“Oh.” GuanShan had forgotten that lights don’t normally do that. “Shitty wiring. Don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah..” He Tian grabbed the batteries and put them into the calculator.

A few hours passed and He Tian once again had his head in Mo’s lap. This was a regular occurrence for them so he just ignored it. Glancing at the clock he realized it was almost 10 o’clock. “Fuck.. Hey chicken dick! Wake up! Time to go home!”

He Tian rolled over and buried his face in Mo’s stomach and mumbled, “nooo. Let me crash here tonight. I’ll pay you.”

As a knee jerk reaction, from someone touching his stomach, GuanShan pushed the sleeping boy off his lap and onto the floor. “Get off!” He Tians head hit the floor hard and his eyes darted at Mo. They went from confused and bewildered to furious and menacing.

“Fuck fuck fuck!!” Mo yelled as he jumped over the back of the couch, recognizing that look without a second glance. It was his signature ‘you’re gonna eat shit for that’ look. He Tian grabbed him by the back of his shirt just as he jumped and fell over with him. “Let go!!” Red screamed as the toppled over each other fighting for dominance. He Tian tried to pin him and Mo tried his best to get away but eventually He Tain pressed Mo to the ground, straddling the smaller boy with his wrists held above his head.

“Don’t fight back little Mo. It’ll only make it worse.” He Tian sneered.

Suddenly the lights went out and He Tians grip immediately loosened. Taking this chance he was granted, Red pushed He Tian off of his lap and scurried around the couch. When the lights came back on neither of them said anything. After a few seconds Mo peered over the couch to see He Tian sprawled on the floor on his back, breathing heavily. Panic written all over his face.

“Hey... are you good?” Mo questioned cautiously.

“...I’m... I’m good... just... need a sec...” He answered slowly.

“Alright just-“ The lights went out again and Mo could hear He Tian move around frantically. There was an odd “powering down” noise in the ceiling and Mo knew it meant that the lights would be off for a while. “Fuck. The lights just blew out. So much for trying to study... He Tian?”

He Tians breath increased rapidly. In a shaky voice he called out, “M..mo... h- hel..help..” That’s all it took. Two little words and Mo was over the couch, landing right next to He Tian. Reaching blindly for his hands, but realizing Tian was too curled into himself, Mo wrapped his arms around him.

Remembering how his mother use to talk to him, Mo began to mimic her, “Hey it’s ok... calm down He Tian... you’re fine... I’m here... I’m right here... I won’t go anywhere this time ok? I won’t leave you.” Mo’s cooing seemed to be calming He Tian down so he kept going, ignoring the fact that his shirt was becoming wet with He Tians frightened tears. “You’re safe. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

After a few minutes He Tian had calmed down, but still clung to GuanShan, who didn’t mind. Slowly running his hands through the shaking boy’s dark hair, Mo asked, “I can go get some candles but I’d have to get up for a second. Is that ok? Or do you want to come with?”

He Tian sniffed and mumbled softly, “come with..”

“Alright. Do you need help getting up?” He Tian nodded his head, which was pressed into Mo’s chest. “Ok here take my hand.” Red said getting into a kneeling position. He Tian reached out for his hands and grabbed both of them. Slowly but surely, Mo go He Tian onto his feet. “Ok there are some candles in the drawer. If you-“

“Not- in... the freezer?” The joke came out botched and messy, not with He Tians usual charm and fluidity, but GuanShan was happy just to hear He Tian make the joke.

A small smile crept over his face, “You’re an idiot, you know that?” He Tian laughed a little and Mo felt his face heat up with a blush. “Come on.” Keeping a firm grip on He Tians hand, GuanShan led his bubbling child into the kitchen. Grabbing each candle one by one, to ensure they kept holding hands so He Tian wouldn’t feel lost, Mo put them on the counter and lit a couple.

Then he got a good look at He Tians face. It was tear stained and red from the crying and the hyperventilating. Reds heart wrenched from him. How terrifying must it be for him to deal with this alone. How much comfort must Mo have brought to him? He Tian held Mo’s other hand lightly and put his head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

—————————————————

So this was kinda inspired by a drawing I saw a while ago by @derekstile. Personally, anxiety is a big struggle for me and I feel like He Tian might also struggle with it too? I dunno. Lol the drawing just made me start thinking and this is the outcome.

Once again not the greatest writer but it’s an interesting idea for a very interesting drawing.

More rants~

Ok so I had this thought and maybe I’m on to something, maybe I’m not.

So remember this panel:

Mo calls out for his dad during what seems to be the destruction of their restaurant and maybe the attemptted kidnapping of baby Mo? (Or just someone trying to hurt him I dunno) either way. Mo calls out for is dad and immediately his dad comes and Randy Ortons this guy through a table to save Mo. Little Mo had that sense of physical security with his father.

With his mother he still had that sense of security but it was mostly like emotional:

Especially in that one panel with baby She Li (I would find it but I’m too lazy) where she’s trying to calm Mo down and telling him it will stop hurting soon. I think as a kid Mo felt physically protected by his mother but eventually when he started to grow he realized that he had to protect his mom. So he was never really able to have that sense of security (thus he got so callous and distant from everyone). I think Mo just thought that he was on his own but deep down he was probably still scared out of his mind.

So when he met She Li he was like “hey you’re a good source of protection because you have so many people who look out for each other.” Naively, Mo probably would have joined the gang for that purpose, to be safe. And maybe somewhere along the line She Li did actually save him from someone trying to hurt/take him again (not because he actually cared but because he wanted something from Mo). And maybe that’s why he joined, I’m not sure. But this would explain why She Li is always has that “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition” vibe going on:

BBBBUUUUTTTTT then Mo met He Tian. And at first he tian was a jerk and just another person trying to take advantage of Mo (like with the whole kiss thing with the water bottle). But then the relationship started to evolve. I think when He Tian actually did physically protect Mo is when the scales in Mo’s mind started tipping.

Now Mo actually has friends and He Tian to protect him. He finally found what he wanted all along. That group of people who are looking out for each other.

ANNYYWWAAAYYYYYYY if you’ve read this far thanks for listening to my horribly long rant!

————————————————————-

My own take on Pho Soup. I can honestly say this is the best food I’ve ever made. I’m sure someone could make better but this right here. This is good.

Sit Up

He Tian: Mo you should really sit up when you eat

Mo: *munchin on a sandwich in bed* naw. It’s more comfortable like this

He Tian: you’re gonna choke

Mo: that’s an old wives tale for little kids who are inexperienced swallowers.

He Tian: ........ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) oh yeah?

Mo: WaIT NoOoOoO nOt WhAt I mEaNt

———————————————————