iincarnatus
but in all chaos there is calculation .
12 posts
Latest Posts by iincarnatus
not that i have v much going on here anyways but pls pardon the mess and lack of response while i reconstruct this blog into a mara only zone, ty <3
‘ where's your sense of adventure ? ’ — zee ( @razedeities ) ; via the boys (season 1) starters
mara flashes a rueful smile, with the sink of her shoulder turned over from the screen of her laptop in a sort of test. one she would argue was of him, if it wasn't for an understanding of zee's rather convincing nature by now. but a more honest counterpart lies in her ability to withhold ; often far too malleable to another's whim for a person so avidly concerned about her own rankings.
❝ we could be adventurous here ? ❞ the suggestion is all she has to refute him, knowing how badly she needs this. a false sense of security that the walls of their dorm provide, where the threat of the consequences for dodging curfew remains null. she can't afford any public missteps that could knock her down.
she'd offer that he go by himself, if he wanted, instead. but the thought of just offering him up to someone else like that makes her sick. forced to settle into the idea that it might be the circumstance either way as she regards it with a breathy laugh. it's hollow, and echoing with a bitterness she isn't sure how to mask in it's entirety. ❝ sorry . i know i'm boring you lately . . . ❞
‘ maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on. ’ — mio ( @ategods ) ; via grave suggestion
the idea twists something sharp into delicate skin. a dark lensed provocation flashes to mio, and her devil's tail coils in over the flesh of her own thigh. muscles tense for it ; she's defensive. guarded, all of a sudden. wholeheartedly trying to focus on the weight of her tone instead.
“ funny . ”
the reaction doesn't lend a clue to the truth behind what pains her. it never does. stifled beneath so many layers of attempted indifference it fogs a distraction over it's honesty. mara isn't prideful. she has no reason to be.
“ — thought i was the one who found you . ” she wonders, briefly, if mio's plan all along was to just leave her. like a lamb for slaughter. and worse. how obvious it would be that her fix had become so temporary.
there's far too much to do before she can ever move on.
✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏 ! ( a collection of sentence starters from season 1 of nbc's “ good girls ”. adjust phrasing as necessary . will be updated in the future . mature themes are present . )
specificity is good , but that's over the top .
chill , i'm like two minutes late .
alright , everybody be cool and nobody gets hurt .
do you think i could make it in L.A. ?
i don't need all that . i just want to be super famous .
you know , i'm just not really much of a church person .
maybe next time you'll take security more seriously .
oh my god , can you please just listen to me for one damn minute ?!
shame on you . shame on all of you .
move it before i shoot your face off , let's go !
you should probably get yourself a lawyer .
why is it so crazy ? i mean , it's a victimless crime .
can't you have my back on one thing , ever ?
this is me helping you not ruin your life .
damn . that was a good sell .
i should have been more careful , i panicked .
no ! i mean ... i don't know . maybe .
we're gonna rob that store .
have you lost your mind ?
we can't sit back and let everything be taken away from us .
no one's gonna fix this . we have to do it ourselves .
[ name ] ... hello ? are you okay in there ?
how did you have the money for all of this ?
i'm here to clean up a mess , [ name ] .
it's not a knock , we all have our strengths and weaknesses . you're a beautiful dummy . it doesn't make you a bad person .
this is five grand . enough for a plane ticket , and to get you started .
i guess you won't mind if i go to the cops , then . right ?
i handled it because you couldn't .
you've got a little ... on your face , kind of looks like blood .
what am i looking at right now ? WHAT am i even looking at right now ?
[ name ] , this is life or death .
i choose death . GIVE ME DEATH .
i have ... sort of a favor to ask .
it's not like you can't afford it .
what do you need that much money for ?
thank you for making me completely humiliate myself for no reason .
this is what winning feels like .
i'm gonna need you to say it with me . we are winning .
it's not like you're gonna kill me .
you don't have the guts . you're not killers .
thought you'd pull a fast one , huh ? make a quick buck ?
girls like you , you never think things through .
you've done this your whole life . you make these big messes and expect everyone else to clean it up . then you just ignore it .
you can't leave me here forever .
you are an incredible liar .
when bad things happen to good people , everyone goes crazy .
if it could happen to us , it could happen to anyone .
roll the dice . tell them to pull the trigger . see what happens .
hey , looks like we've got a survivor .
i am going the speed limit . i don't wanna get a ticket .
where does he think he's going ? boy , this is hard to watch .
if you go to the cops , so will i .
i thought we were done with this .
oh ! you'd rather just declare a kilo at customs ?
– or we could just steal it .
are you hearing yourself right now ?
do not call me crazy .
what if we get caught ?
there's always a choice .
dude , it's never gonna end . unless we end it .
i'm not gonna shoot him , i'm just gonna scare him a little !
forgive me lord jesus , i did not mean to shoot that man .
are we supposed to knock or something ?
i wanted my music for the road trip .
how long has it been bleeding like this ?
i need to take you to the hospital , i think you need stitches .
i wish everything could go back to the way it was .
i had no damn idea how good i had it until it was gone .
i know you hate me right now .
i'm sorry . i suck .
i had to do something really , really important .
what's more important than me ?
is there something you want to ask me ?
just making conversation .
you know the tradition is jordans over a phone line , right ?
be outside in two minutes or you're dead , i mean it .
it's so crazy , even saying it .
you asked for this ? you ASKED for this ?
you can't sign people up for criminal activity like it's a bake sale !
that is NOT what i meant when i said i'd do another job .
so you think you get to pick and choose what you do and when you wanna do it ?
no , i'm sorry . that is not gonna work .
what's your gut say ?
i can prove it ! i mean i can't ... but i want to .
why should i apologize ?
chill out with the cayenne .
maybe we need like , smelling salts or something .
well , i want him to not die in my house .
i am so tired of almost dying .
hey ! ... don't be mad .
you're a dead man .
shut up , just don't say anything . i will handle it .
just say you're sorry .
i wanted to do something nice , so that maybe we could start fresh .
i'm not proud of my part in everything .
oh , yeah ? what does that mean ?
the boys (season 1) starters
❝ since when did ‘hopeful’ and ‘naive’ become the same thing? ❞ ❝ since when have you ever trusted anybody? ❞ ❝ you don’t have the fight. you never have. ❞ ❝ we do crazy shit when we got broken hearts. ❞ ❝ we’re a team now. we’ll help each other out. ❞ ❝ i know that you’re powerful. i get it. your powers are no joke. ❞ ❝ thank you for an extremely weird conversation. ❞ ❝ vengeance isn’t a path to glory. ❞ ❝ i see you. i know you’re watching me. ❞ ❝ you have no idea what i’ve been through. ❞ ❝ i’ve loved you since the first time that we met. ❞ ❝ this is why it never went anywhere with us. you can’t have two alphas. ❞ ❝ what have you got to lose that you haven’t already lost? ❞ ❝ i thought i was strong, you know? made of steel. ❞ ❝ do you think i’m a fucking idiot? ❞ ❝ we’re in trouble. we’re in a lot of trouble. ❞ ❝ just when you think this shit can’t get any more horrible… ❞ ❝ will you stop calling me that? ❞ ❝ why work so hard if you don’t have somebody to go home and sleep next to at night? ❞ ❝ you don’t trust me. i’m shocked and saddened by that. ❞ ❝ you’re not the hero of this story. ❞ ❝ the people we care about…i say cut them loose. for your good and for theirs. ❞ ❝ i was thinking that maybe we could order in and catch up. just me and you. ❞ ❝ my dad always said: ‘surround yourself with people smarter than you’. ❞ ❝ every instinct is screaming at you to head for the hills, and you should listen to that instinct. ❞ ❝ i kind of feel for you. ❞ ❝ i’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. ❞ ❝ there’s no secrets here. spit it out. ❞ ❝ if i’m being honest…i’m a little suspicious of you. ❞ ❝ i’m gonna take care of this, but until i do, i got to get you somewhere safe. ❞ ❝ look, i love you. you know i do. ❞ ❝ you can’t get in your head about that. ❞ ❝ i know what it’s like to want to go home. ❞ ❝ you are literally the nicest person in the city. ❞ ❝ i can do anything i set my mind to. ❞ ❝ you’re not a bad person. just a scared one. ❞ ❝ you’re being paranoid. ❞ ❝ i don’t think i can do this anymore. ❞ ❝ don’t say i never do anything for you. ❞ ❝ i know you’re trying your damnedest to be tough…but the truth is, you’re terrified. ❞ ❝ we’re both in a shitload of trouble. ❞ ❝ what are you grinning at? ❞ ❝ where have you been? it’s been days. ❞ ❝ next time, at least have a few cards up your sleeve. ❞ ❝ it’s safe. you’re gonna be fine. ❞ ❝ you said this time would be different. ❞ ❝ that’s ‘cause you’re an old, lonely fucker. ❞ ❝ where was your first kiss? ❞ ❝ it must be hard, feeling so alone. ❞ ❝ you’re not the only one whose life was ruined. ❞ ❝ the only thing i hate more than blubbering people are boring speeches. ❞ ❝ you really think i wouldn’t notice? ❞ ❝ a miracle. you are a miracle. ❞ ❝ the smirks, the jokes…it’s all a defense mechanism. ❞ ❝ you really stood for something. but now… ❞ ❝ i really think it’s awesome. the real you. ❞ ❝ is that a threat or a promise? ❞ ❝ i know what it’s like to lose someone. ❞ ❝ we’re the same, you and i. hard outside, soft inside. ❞ ❝ your concern for me is very sweet. ❞ ❝ you’re kind of a mystery to me. ❞ ❝ will you keep your voice down? ❞ ❝ what the fuck were you thinking, coming here? ❞ ❝ you are a selfish, arrogant child. ❞ ❝ let’s be clear. i don’t know you, and i don’t want to. ❞ ❝ i’m fucking terrified. and you should be, too. ❞ ❝ i’m out of your life. you never left mine. ❞ ❝ it’s just…this place isn’t what i remember. ❞ ❝ you’re like the mold on my laundry room tiles. you scrape it off, comes right back. ❞ ❝ where’s your sense of adventure? ❞ ❝ love is just another lie. ❞ ❝ you owe me. you owe me, goddamn it. ❞ ❝ you were the only thing. you were the only thing i could count on. ❞ ❝ y…you’re a murderer. ❞ ❝ i didn’t want to come here, but i need your help. ❞ ❝ you taught me a thing or two about broken promises. ❞ ❝ it is a whole new world now. ❞ ❝ you okay? you break any bones? ❞ ❝ from now on, no more secrets. promise me. ❞ ❝ yeah. looked like you had it all under control. ❞ ❝ i am the last person you need to save. ❞ ❝ i started giving pieces of myself away and…i guess i gave away everything. ❞ ❝ you’re ‘in over your head fucked’, and you know it. ❞ ❝ you do not need to hide things from me. ❞ ❝ just remember who your friends and who your enemies are. ❞ ❝ fuck you. now get out of my house. ❞ ❝ well? say something. ❞ ❝ you can thank me for saving you sometime later. ❞ ❝ now’s not the time to be strong and silent. ❞ ❝ i came to save you. ❞ ❝ i’m just saying it could be worse. ❞ ❝ you’re gonna make me blush here. ❞ ❝ this is never gonna stop. it’s just gonna be more blood and awfulness. ❞ ❝ did i mention this is life or death? ❞ ❝ i see people for who they really are. i see you, too. ❞ ❝ surprised to run into you here. ❞ ❝ you never cared about me. i was just useful to you. ❞ ❝ i don’t know who the fuck i’m supposed to be. ❞ ❝ i’m really sorry. i’m sorry about everything. ❞ ❝ you promised to behave. ❞
this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion. i’ve divided it up into two categories ( light & dark ) based on the themes. some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions. please be cautious before continuing on!!
L I G H T
‘ at night i dream of you. ’ ‘ don’t give up yet. you still have time to fix things. ’ ‘ falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack. ’ ‘ i am still so weak when it comes to you. ’ ‘ i can’t believe i let myself let you down. ’ ‘ i don’t care where we go when we die, as long as i’m with you. ’ ‘ i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late. ’ ‘ i feel so warm & safe when you talk to me. maybe i could love you if you’d let me. ’ ‘ i finally let the right people in & i have never felt so loved. ’ ‘ i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone. ’ ‘ i lived in your permafrost for twenty years & then you looked at me & i felt the warmth of spring. ’ ‘ i once wished you’d leave me alone, but i take it back. ’ ‘ i want to be able to love someone else, but you stretch your arms & spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else. ’ ‘ i want to believe that we got it right this time. ’ ‘ i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely. ’ ‘ i would travel across the world to be by your side, because as long as you are with me, anywhere is a perfect place to me. ’ ‘ it took me awhile to realize it myself, but you are not what other people say you are. ’ ‘ it’s not that i really need you, but life would be pretty boring without you around. there’s no one i would rather be with. ’ ‘ i’d like to stay like this for awhile. ’ ‘ life & death don’t have to be so boring, let’s make both an adventure. ’ ‘ life imitates art, they say. i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke. ’ ‘ live your life so that when you die, souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales. ’ ‘ make your exes jealous & your past self proud. ’ ‘ maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on. ’ ‘ never get caught falling harder. they’ll never let you back up. ’ ‘ please don’t go. ’ ‘ some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it & succumb. ’ ‘ sometimes, you’ll find it hard to keep going, but you always will. ’ ‘ the desire i feel for you is that same itching, insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction. ’ ‘ the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad. ’ ‘ there is absolutely nothing & no one who can stop me. ’ ‘ there is no route of losing you that is without pain. ’ ‘ there’s still room for adventure & there is no one i’d rather have by my side. ’ ‘ things didn’t turn out the way i planned, but i’m alright with that. ’ ‘ we could be really incredible together, you know? ’ ‘ you are beautiful & vibrant & confident. you are light & laughter incarnate & every fiber of your being screams freedom & joy. when i am with you, i am truly happy. ’ ‘ you are starlight incarnate, from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think. blessed are any to be loved by you. ’ ‘ you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you. ’ ‘ you call me yours & i have no idea what that even means to you. ’ ‘ you remind me of bubblegum & sweets; soft & pink & warm. you are strong in the gentlest way. you are so stubbornly kind. i wish i could be like that. ’ ‘ you still visit me while i sleep sometimes. your fingers trace my spine & i listen to you breathe. please stop haunting me. ’ ‘ ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you. ’
D A R K
‘ a thousand empty bottles & fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day. ’ ‘ everyone else has moved on, but i am still here. ’ ‘ everything about you screams danger. ’ ‘ everything is worthless to you & you, in turn, became worthless. ’ ‘ for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress. ’ ‘ freedom is really hard to get used to. ’ ‘ how could you do this to me? how fucking could you? ’ ‘ i am becoming everything we always dreamed of & i am leaving you behind. ’ ‘ i buried you so well that you might as well have died. ’ ‘ i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead & not the monster you became. ’ ‘ i can’t look at you. not now, not ever. ’ ‘ i don’t ask how you’ve been. what’s the point? you’d lie anyways. ’ ‘ i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest. ’ ‘ i haunted this house first. there is no room for you here. ’ ‘ i have a right to be upset. i loved them too, you know. ’ ‘ i just want it to end. i want it to all go away. i want to go away. ’ ‘ i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous. ’ ‘ i saw your face today & didn’t feel anything. i am free. ’ ‘ i tried to save you, but you didn’t want to be saved. you just wanted someone to suffer with you. ’ ‘ it’s almost as if you were never here. ’ ‘ it’s unhealthy to do these things, you tell me. you say it’s time to stop smoking, time to stop gambling, & dammit, i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you. i sure hope you’re right, darling. ’ ‘ i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind ’ ‘ i’m not really scared to die. i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone. ’ ‘ i’m not the person you left behind anymore. there’s no one here to miss. ’ ‘ i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive. ’ ‘ i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals & ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you. ’ ‘ i’ve never been completely satisfied. i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death. ’ ‘ no motive other than pleasure, my dear. ’ ‘ one day i’ll go or you will. either way, it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself. ’ ‘ our dreams & promises decay along with you. ’ ‘ the leaves change, but nothing else does. ’ ‘ the only difference between avoiding & leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you. ’ ‘ there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you. ’ ‘ there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage. ’ ‘ things aren’t going as i hoped. maybe if i die, i can start over again? better luck next time. ’ ‘ this is not something to be proud of. this is a tragedy. ’ ‘ trying to get rid of me? oh honey, you’ll have to try much harder than that. ’ ‘ trying to get under my skin? you’re nothing more than a pesky itch. ’ ‘ unlike you, i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger. ’ ‘ weeping is for gods & martyrs, we cannot afford such luxuries. ’ ‘ would you even miss me? ’ ‘ you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart. ’ ‘ you complain nonstop about being unloved & alone, i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true. ’ ‘ you don’t know what it’s like. ’ ‘ you made this so fucking easy for me. ’ ‘ you should see me as a threat. i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you. i am a walking threat. ’ ‘ you think i’m already gone, but i’m still fighting. ’ ‘ you think i’m dead, but i’m just dying. ’ ‘ you were never an addiction, you were a fucking disease. ’ ‘ you wouldn’t dare cross me. i am god & you are the soil beneath my feet. ’ ‘ your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity. ’ ‘ your fingers are so cold & bruised, but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference. ’ ‘ your hair is tied in a noose & your fingernails are razor blades, your lips are poison & i will gratefully kiss them. ’ ‘ your hatred has a body count & we will not forget. ’ ‘ your loss, not mine. ’ ‘ you’re a sick fuck. you know that? ’ ‘ you’re not gentle with me & i would never ask you to be. ’ ‘ you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore, it’s a pit. ’
“I can fix him” well I can be an outlet for all of his gross fantasies and give him a raging god complex
#IINCARNATUS is an independent , selective , & multi-verse original character blog that is open to new plots & writing partners. 21+ ONLY , as mature / nsfw content may be present. ✦ ・ CARRD [ written by des , twenty9 , EST , & available by discord to mutuals ]
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