'you Never Read Anymore, You Used To Love Reading' And I Have 200 Safari Tabs Open. It Never Stopped

Confession & Connection Time

I know many of us are shaken to the core about the sudden death of Lisa Marie.

I read the tribute from her friend who was also a grief counselor and in it, he wrote about Lisa dedicating herself to supporting other grieving parents, including their plans to do a podcast. It inspired me to go out of my comfort zone in her honor and in honor of that commitment.

I am tremendously upset by Lisa’s death and cannot stop thinking of Priscilla and bursting into tears. Because I know what it is to lose a daughter. My only child was killed in a wreck two decades ago and I have never been the same. I almost didn’t survive it and was fully incapacitated for many, many years. In the past few years I have been coming into a promising new phase of grief and life, one that is difficult to navigate but one for which I am grateful. But any time I hear of a parent losing a child — whether it’s someone I know personally or not — it affects me tremendously. School shootings and celebrity deaths can be just as upsetting for me as for someone I know, albeit shorter lived since someone I do not know is not connected to me daily. But the universality is still there. Only other parents whose children have died know the suffering when their child is gone before them, regardless of circumstances and regardless of age.

Sadly, ironically, this is why I blurred out the letter I wrote for Elvis’s birthday when I posted it. After thanking him for his life and talent, I asked Elvis to hug my little girl for me. I think we all know he of course would do that. It’s making me cry again to write this now, imagining him scooping up my precious sweetheart (she was only 8) in his fatherly arms. I also asked him to find my mom and to tell them both I feel them with me always. As sensitive and kind as everyone is in our fandom, it felt too personal and vulnerable to share these details among a cyber community.

But here we are now. Lisa is dead. Priscilla’s heart is shattered. The family is devastated. The Elvis film family is floored. And the world is in shock. And I imagine that Austin is grieving in a strange and unique way, having come to love her as a “daughter” through his character work but also by feeling a maternal bond from her as well after they met. I acknowledge my thoughts about Austin are speculation on my part and I do not want to suggest I actually know what he is feeling. I don’t want to disrespect him with a formal assumption. Only to share that these thoughts and feelings have bubbled up for me by way of concern for his tender soul, whether or not they are accurate, and I’m sad for him, too.

Personally I must and do believe Lisa is in her father’s loving and long-awaited embrace and that she is also reunited with her beloved son. I know that I long for the day I will be with my daughter again on the same energetic plane — even though I connect to her constantly across the ethers. It was, in fact, that intense pull to be with her that made my life so precarious for so long after her death. And something I deeply understood about Lisa when she referred to how hard it was for her without Benjamin, including her intense feelings of guilt.

I decided to post this in case there are any others in the fandom who have survived a child and who need the extra support & understanding that a fellow bereaved parent shares. Also, after seeing Mel make a post about caring for ourselves and each other, and the many other anguished tributes that are showing up in my blog. Amongst the many posts I have spotted a few comments, tags, and reblogs that have the resonance of someone who knows a parent’s grief. So just in case someone else here is facing that, too, and in honor of Lisa, I decided to bare my soul.

Please feel free to comment, reblog, DM, or send me an ask. In between my own self care (which includes pacing myself on social media), I am also in ongoing recovery from a recent hospitalization, which is a factor in the amount of time I’m on tumblr right now. Otherwise I am available and at your service in compassion and solidarity.

I want to acknowledge a few of my fandom anchors @karamelcoveredolicity @ash-omalley @troubleinapinksuit @burninlovebutler @succsessions and everyone else who is posting, caring, sharing, and hurting. To any other bereaved parents, we know there are no words that adequately convey our experience. We only have the recognition and companionship of one another as fellow travelers on a journey we never, ever imagined we would be forced to take.

Love,

MJ

They are so 🥵🥵

a year ago today these vman photos dropped 🔥

😩😩

Good Morning Austin Girls!

Theme 311: the scene that I had to bite my fist to keep from reacting to when I went to see Elvis with my mother.

GMAG! Tag List:

Sometimes tags work sometimes they don’t!

@ilovemycrayons @blurredcolour @dre6ming @slowsweetlove @pennyroyalcreep @austiebuttbutt @lisathewife101 @jojam10 @xxindiglow @crackerbarrelslut @katsukis1wife @macey234 @lucid315 @katelswan @introvertisms @purejasmine @bcofl0ve @feral-fae-writes @eliseinmemphis @klizzie93 @scarlet-sunsets @austinbutlermischief @emmamartinez @dazzledbycarrie @sunset-striptease-redeux @chasingwildflowers @justafangir1 @kctj82 @lettersfromvenus @alikaheroes

I just noticed that Jacob is wearing a plain suit for the wedding.

I couldn’t find a clear picture of Austin’s suit for the wedding scene but where the light shines on his shoulder, you can see the pattern.

The whole Elvis movie crew put in soooooo soooooo much work for it to be amazing. I mean Catherine with the costumes????? She’s a genius and I still can’t get over how they didn’t at least win an Oscar for costumes, hair and makeup and acting. I thought Sofia would at least put in effort for the costumes (look cheap and are inaccurate), hair (really badly done) and makeup.

Where’s the super heavy iconic eyeliner and lashes that Priscilla wore all the time? yes she’s wearing lashes and eyeliner, but not as much as Priscilla did.

To this day I’m still mad Elvis didn’t win a damn thing 😭

I am 100% calling out the Academy right now.

Are you gonna sit there and tell me that this man

THIS MAN

Didn’t deserve a fucking Oscar for his role? You’re going to look me in the face and tell me that a man who put his life ON HOLD for THREE GOD DAMN YEARS to throw himself into this larger than life piece of art deserves to lose? No. I’m calling bull shit.

Don’t misunderstand me, I respect the hell out of Brendan. He’s an amazing actor and an amazing man who had been through hell in his personal life and his career. I don’t deny that he did amazing in The Whale. But here’s the thing. Brendan came to set everyday and played a part. He read his lines, did his part, then went home. Austin didn’t do that. Austin never turned it off. Austin BECAME Elvis. He didn’t play a role, he became an icon. So much so that Elvis’s own family said that they wouldn’t be able to tell a difference at some points. I can somewhat overlook the disrespect the movie was shown in the other categories, but Austin deserved this. For him, for Baz, for Lisa, and for Elvis himself. I’m so unreasonably mad. I know people will disagree and that’s fine. Everyone has their right to an opinion. This just happens to be mine.

Aus, honey, you did amazing. So many people are so proud of how well you portrayed such a monumental role. No one could have done what you did. I’m proud, your fans are proud, and I know your mom, Lisa, and Elvis are all looking down so incredibly proud of everything that you’ve accomplished. You deserved better, but don’t let this discourage you. In our hearts you won that award tonight. We love you. Take the break you deserve.

Can someone anyone please right an Austin fic. I’m getting desperate over here 🤍🤍

Does anyone else get irked when an author uses "shook their head yes" instead of nodded?

Like it's a small detail that I notice EVERYWHERE and always makes me twitch in frustration.

idk tell me if im delulu

I look at every picture of them and intense jealousy washes over me. I am so happy that at least someone gets to experience his love

Kaia..you’re one lucky woman 😭 (manifesting I wake up one day and I’am Kaia)

not you trying to freaky friday your way into austin’s arms…but you’re soooo real for that it’s okay!!

I just have so many emotions happening all at once. So, I’m just going to say this..

Austin, Baz, and the whole Elvis cast and crew put so much hard work and effort into such an amazing film. I’ve have never felt so emotional about a movie the way I do with this one. I will never forget seeing this movie on the day it came out and feeling so many emotions toward the end, that I had to sit in the theater even as the movie was over because I couldn’t stop crying. It truly was an experience. A cinematic experience that I’ve never had before. I wish I could relive it.

It’s made me completely fall in love with such an incredible human being and love him for all of his flaws. That sometimes it feels like I’ve known Elvis personally because of how emotional I get over him. Is the obsession I have normal? Probably not. But if it wasn’t for this movie or the obsession, I wouldn’t have streamed his movies for everyone on tiktok all summer. Met so many Elvis besties that I love so much or been in Elvis group chats, making Elvis edits or even start writing fanfic. Hell I got into so many tiktok fights defending this man with my life, it’s crazy.

This movie was so impactful for so many damn people and younger generations who now love and appreciate Elvis so much. Austin, Baz and everyone else who worked on that film DID THAT. So yeah, I’m a little hurt they were snubbed. But I’m proud of them all either way for making such an unforgettable film and bringing so many people together.

🤍🤍