The Kingdom That Used To Reign Here Was very particular About Dancing. One Day, An Architect Named

The kingdom that used to reign here was very particular about dancing. One day, an architect named Walter Chasse invented a special dance floor such that in order to pass through, one had to literally waltz across the room. If you mis-stepped, a rubber-tipped dart would “helpfully” point out your error. The queen absolutely loved it, and commissioned several for the royal grounds. These dance floors eventually became fashionable among the nobility, who used them in games of political one-upmanship. Eventually, someone had the bright idea to replace the “permissive” rubber-tipped darts for a more “exacting” variety, and the rest is history.

When you enter this room, why does the door shut and lock itself, and why do the walls start to close in very slowly?

Why do we even HAVE that lever?

Back in the day, my old gaming group used to play a game called “why do we even have that lever?”. It works like this:

1. Person A describes a puzzle or trap - the sort of bizarre adventurer-shredding contraption you might encounter in the course of an old-school dungeon crawl that makes absolutely no sense if the dungeon in question was ever supposed to be a facility that people actually used.

2. Person B proposes an explanation for what the “trap” in question is really for - i.e., why it’s not a trap at all, but a totally practical feature of whatever sort of place the dungeon originally was.

3. Person B then describes their own trap to keep the game going.

The only hard rule is that the explanation offered in step 2 absolutely can’t be “it’s a puzzle” or “it’s a trap”; you have to propose some pragmatic function that actually makes sense in the context of the dungeon being the ruins of someplace where people lived and worked. The way it currently works can be justified as a consequence of it having malfunctioned or partially fallen apart, but there has to be some plausible purpose it could have originally served.

For example, I might ask:

“Why is there a room where the entire ceiling is a giant magnet?”

… and you might respond:

“It’s a security checkpoint for the armoury of magical weapons that lies beyond. The presence of the magnet means that weapons can only be safely brought in and out of the armoury using special weighted cases, making it very difficult to steal or substitute items.”

“It’s a laboratory formerly used for experiments involving dangerous creatures from the Elemental Plane of Earth. The powerful magnetic field wholly paralyses all but the mightiest earth elementals, allowing them to be studied at one’s leisure.”

“It’s the old Queen’s gaming room. During her reign, a game of strategy involving man-sized stone pieces on a multi-level board had become fashionable. Though most such games required large work crews to move the pieces around, the Queen’s magnetic chamber - in conjunction with large metal bars driven into the core of each piece - allows the pieces to be manipulated by a single person. Many of the pieces still lay scattered about the room, in various states of disrepair.”

Then you’d describe your own trap.

I’ll start us off with a simple (and apropos) one:

Why is there a lever that drops a giant stone block on the person who pulled it?

More Posts from Jellomortality and Others

1 year ago

Someone's probably already done this in better quality, but here you go

Someone's Probably Already Done This In Better Quality, But Here You Go
But What If It Was All A Dream

But what if it was all a dream


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3 years ago

you hear about recovery not being linear (”there are ups and downs”), but actually it’s more like a game of wack-a-mole. this is not a bad thing

3 years ago

Dunno if you've heard of this website (I may have discovered it from you now that I think about it), but it produces beautiful, terrible masterpieces.

neuralblender.com
NeuralBlender.com - Create your own AI art

You type in whatever gibberish you feel like and press create, and an AI will attempt to draw your words over the course of a few minutes. Due to the way the AI interprets words and pictures, you can type the same words in multiple times and get different pictures each time. Here's a few examples:

Dunno If You've Heard Of This Website (I May Have Discovered It From You Now That I Think About It),

Cat, Master of Dreams

Dunno If You've Heard Of This Website (I May Have Discovered It From You Now That I Think About It),

Beacon

Dunno If You've Heard Of This Website (I May Have Discovered It From You Now That I Think About It),

Trollface.jpg

Dunno If You've Heard Of This Website (I May Have Discovered It From You Now That I Think About It),

Stellar coral from planet 9

(trypophobia warning for the 4 bee pics below)

Dunno If You've Heard Of This Website (I May Have Discovered It From You Now That I Think About It),
Dunno If You've Heard Of This Website (I May Have Discovered It From You Now That I Think About It),
Dunno If You've Heard Of This Website (I May Have Discovered It From You Now That I Think About It),
Dunno If You've Heard Of This Website (I May Have Discovered It From You Now That I Think About It),

4 variations of "bee nest"

And last but not least...

Dunno If You've Heard Of This Website (I May Have Discovered It From You Now That I Think About It),
Dunno If You've Heard Of This Website (I May Have Discovered It From You Now That I Think About It),

Biggest gaudiest patronuses

(I was hoping the AI would have heard of you, but no dice :/)

I'm having a rough week, tell me something nice?


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7 years ago

Picture a vampire who delivers blood bags for the Red Cross. They’re surrounded by living blood bags whenever they leave their truck, and by literal blood bags while on the road. It’s relatively easy to “lose” a bag here and "discard” an “expired” bag there, even easier if expired blood can still be eaten. However, if something unforeseen occurs, they may have to take a little - or a lot - extra. The higher ups don’t like when donated blood goes missing...

And maybe there are the other vampires who try to steal blood bags, impulsive or desperate people who risk outing themselves for food. How would they see the delivery vampire? How would they be seen?

Companies are starting to use drones to deliver blood to hospitals, ever since Zipline launched in Rwanda in 2014. Would this be an opportunity, or an obstacle? On the one hand, it’s even easier to make blood disappear when you’re the only one with records of where it’s going, and you don’t even have to go outside. On the other, the vampire risks getting replaced at their job, and not being able to adapt to drone work quick enough to get the job. After all, once you’ve gotten used to three meals a day, it’s hard to go back to scrounging or hunting for your dinner...


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1 year ago

More eclipse photos, but with other stuff included for ✨️aesthetic✨️

More Eclipse Photos, But With Other Stuff Included For ✨️aesthetic✨️
More Eclipse Photos, But With Other Stuff Included For ✨️aesthetic✨️
More Eclipse Photos, But With Other Stuff Included For ✨️aesthetic✨️
More Eclipse Photos, But With Other Stuff Included For ✨️aesthetic✨️
More Eclipse Photos, But With Other Stuff Included For ✨️aesthetic✨️
More Eclipse Photos, But With Other Stuff Included For ✨️aesthetic✨️
More Eclipse Photos, But With Other Stuff Included For ✨️aesthetic✨️
More Eclipse Photos, But With Other Stuff Included For ✨️aesthetic✨️
More Eclipse Photos, But With Other Stuff Included For ✨️aesthetic✨️
More Eclipse Photos, But With Other Stuff Included For ✨️aesthetic✨️

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2 years ago

Sometimes I like to think of myself as "Female Lite" or "Diet Female" because while I do identify as a cis woman, it just doesn't really feel important. As if my gender was more diluted than usual. Just enough gender that I can tell there's femaleness in there, but my gender is to femininity as LaCroix is to fruit juice.

first tweets of a thread by @CantonWiner: My paper on the relationship between asexuality and feelings of detachment from gender just won the 2023 Graduate Student Paper award from @socwomen-South!  I’m thrilled to see this work recognized by a feminist organization.  A quick summary of the paper: My findings are based on interviews with 77 people on the asexuality spectrum.  At first, I planned to compare the experiences of asexual men, women, and “beyond the binary” asexuals.  I had to scrap that plan.  Why? About 1/3 of interviewees felt detached from gender altogether. These respondents often gave a gender identity when I initially asked. But as we talked, I learned that they felt uncomfortable with being interpreted through the lens of gender.  They found gender presentation/identity to be irrelevant, pointless, or even oppressive.

i feel so seen!!

(twitter thread)

2 years ago

Okay, but I would 100% forget something in the fridge one autumn and have to get a whole new fridge that spring

a complete travesty that humans didn't evolve to hibernate during winter. we could have had it all. we could have had utopia on earth. paradise lost indeed

3 years ago

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

4 years ago

I added arrows 'cuz I got bored one day. This accurate?

I Added Arrows 'cuz I Got Bored One Day. This Accurate?

Who wants to see the horrible, horrible family tree I made for my BNHA fic?

(With ~many~ spoilers for the fic.)

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jellomortality - Refugee from the Trash Can
Refugee from the Trash Can

Fanfic writer/artist shouting into the void Team Wizard in the #Skeleton War 2022 5 years away from earning my official robe and wizard hat Reblog account @RandomSchtuffRepository

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