đđ
lmao
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
summary: An (innocent?) conversation about D/s dynamics accidentally leads to you confessing that you think about your childhood best friend while getting off. To your childhood best friend, Jeon Jungkook. Erm. This is after he told you that you would be âan awful subâ, btw.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language, discussions about adult topics; reader is bisexual; smut (fem reader, dry humping, fingering, [tiny bit] m-receiving oral, penetrative sex); fluffy af; non-idol!AU; F2L; softdom!Jungkook x softbrat!reader; you kind of have a forearm kink and you never let Jungkook have his lovey-dovey moment, whoops
MMA 2020Â âONâ Jungkook? Yeah. That one.
â
âI could never be a sub.â
You clicked rapidly as you spoke, mashing the right button on your mouse. It was quite loud, paired with your mechanical keyboard.
âWhy not?â
The music coming from Jeon Jungkookâs smartphone was a rhythm game, nearly as loud as you, since he was grunting angrily at it. It was very obvious when he missed a beat.
âI canât imagine that being me, you know?â
You, on the other hand, were on your computer, playing with the new items in League of Legends from the latest patch. Using the practice tool, you had loaded up your favorite champion, Jhin, the Virtuoso, and messed with various builds, trying to find the best combination. So far, Lethality was feeling pretty good.
âLike why would I ever let my pleasure be handled by someone else?â you mused, reading the high damage numbers of each shot. Oh, the fourth shot felt nice. âThat sounds stupid.â
Jungkook rolled over on your bed, growling in his throat as the level ended. He restarted it, trying to get a better score. âMaybe people like to let go sometimes. You know, not always be in control.â
You snorted. âI could never trust someone else with my body.â
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Author: @kpopfanfictrash , as part of the Bound series with @underthejoonÂ
Creative Content Contributor: @m00nk1ld FOR THIS FREAKING AMAZING MOODBOARD. I actually yelled out loud, the first time I laid eyes.Â
Rating: 18 + (explicit sex, road head, denied orgasm, dirty talk, hate sex)Â
Word Count:Â 14,566
Summary: You hate him. He hates you. Itâs a fine line though, isnât it  â between love and hate? (Arranged Marriage!AU)
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ââ â§ àšà§ â§âË â delicate seashell - beach vibe, hotel sex req.
ââââàšà§ââââ
content: friendgroup beach trip, hotel sex, penetrative sex, sweet loving, kind of body worship, established relationship, oral (fem), "gguk" bc its hawt
note from cherry: ignore the typos pls it's late đ
ââââàšà§ââââ
summer hit seoul like a ton of bricks, the usual rainy weather turnings into 40 degree Celsius heat, living without aircon? Impossible.
For the first week of vacation that your work has granted, your far less busy friends and boyfriend all gather up for a trip
Fuck it, let's fly to jeju and enjoy the seaside while the sun lasts
Although blaring and someone unbearable from sweat drenched clothes, noting beats a beach day with enough suncream and fruit to cool off
"Soojin, are you gonna be ready soon?" namjoon calls out, your best friends boyfriend being just as impatient as she is,
"Seriously? We just started getting ready!" She shouts back, rolling her eyes at the closed door,
Sully who's also your childhood bestie, and you share a giggle at Soojin's typical behavior
"Baby?" a soft voice calls out for you, sticking his head into the small gap of the huge hotel bathroom, three girls still in pj's that are busy with skincare and waterproof mascara or the perfect bun all inside
His eyes only land on you, if the other two didn't speak, you're sure he wouldn't even have noticed
"Kook? You okay?" You turn, caressing his head with your hand,
"Yeah, we're gonna ahead though, if that's cool with you? Like, set up the chairs and drink station" he says, now stepped fully inside the doorframe, his hands finding your tshirt covered waist immediately
"If you promise not to look at girls in bikinis?" you raise an eyebrow, cracking into a smile shortly after
And my god did he look irresistible, already in swim shorts with that white muscle shirt that did nothing but show off his ripped body, big arms fully on display and his abs peaking out from the side of the opening
He tsk's , kissing your forhead softly
"You're crazy ma, you know damn well i only care for you" his voice is delicate when he speaks,
"Ew gross get out already" sully yells, even though she's 3 meters away from him
"Grooooosss they boutta start fucking in here" Soojin adds, making a disgusted face for you to see in the mirror
Jungkook laughs, "Sure ladies, take your time" surrendering to the fight against two very protective best friends, he leaves the room
Leaving you to continue your grwm session, 30 mins later, all three off you leave in your bikinis, bags stuffed with change of clothes, hairbrushes and something to keep you distracted
"what the fuck" your boyfriend mutters when he spots you from afar,
Even while laying on a foldable chair, just being able to make out your silhouette in the distance is enough to make him drool, willing to drop to his knees for any taste of you he can get
The dirty thoughts only become louder urges when you stand in front of him, setting your bag down,
As if the tiny, red triangle- tie up bikini doesn't already reveal enough to him, the way you bend down right there, tits almost falling out of their hold, pushed together by the bikini throws him off even more
He's sweating, nervously thinking how he would be able to keep his dick soft for hours if you're gonna walk around like that
"Baby" he says sternly, the look in his eyes letting you know that you're playing with fire, but you don't seem to care, smiling at him when you lay down on the chair right beside his,
"Ahhh, the breeze is so nice" you hum, closing your eyes momentarily to take in the roaring waves and rays of sunlight
Unable to stop himself for devouring you with his eyes, he just allows it
Tracing over your collarbones, the way your waist dips in before the squishy roundness of your hips, how your thicker thighs press up against the chair, making the string bottom appear even smaller on your covered cunt
It cant get worse, right?
Unless you decide on what you're doing right now, letting your beautiful hair out of the bun's restraint, shiny stands flowing messily over your chest area
You notice his obvious staring, looking at his needy eyes and spotting the suspicious looking bulge inside his swimmers,
Jaehyun shoots Jungkook a look as if to say "you cannot be serious" once he also notices the effect your innocent swim attire has on the younger friend
You stand up from the chair abruptly, while looking at Jungkook's dick you noticed how muscular and comfortable his thighs look,
"Baby please" he whispers into your ear, your ass planted down right on his bulge, the tiny string doing nothing to create an extra barrier
His hands move to caress your thighs, his chest pressed up against your back while he's trying his best not to grind you down on him in front of your whole friend group
"Namjoon, you need to cover my back well" Soojin says to her boyfriend when turning around and jungkook is sure he will thank her for this to the end of time, something in his brain lights up,
"Oh shit, i totally forgot about sunscreen. Lets go grab it" his finger nudges your side, a clear clue for you to agree and get up with him,
Why would you ever deny him anyways?
Your friends watch you leave hand in hand, rushing back for... the sunscreen..
"They're gonna fuck aren't they" Sully says, looking over to the rest with an annoyed look,
"Yep" Soojin answers, popping the p at the end,
"Whatever i'm going in" jaehyun announces, dragging sully up with him to push the unsuspecting girl into the water
"Fuck baby this bikini is too sexy, i can't take it" Jungkook says against your skin, immediately attaching himself to your neck the second the door shuts
He's gentle but desperate in his kisses, moving along messily but not putting on too much pressure, kissing his way all along your jawline, down to your neck and collarbones where be begins to nibble,
"So pretty, this body of yours is driving me crazy" his soft moans make your skin react, goosebumps spreading fast while you run your fingers along the muscle of his shoulder
He unties your top in no time, kissing and licking at your nipple while his hand stimulates the other one, groping and tugging on the pink flesh ws gently as he can
"Feels so good gguk" your nails dig into his shoulders, chest arching into his mouth with loud whimpers of pleasure flowing from your lips,
He responds by moaning, biting down on your nipple softly before switching sides, teasing and kissing with so much love
"I love your tits so much, they are perfect so perfect" Jungkook stops, big doe eyes looking up at you with need, one hand moves down to cup your pussy,
"let me eat it please , i wanna taste you so bad baby, please let me eat that sweet little pussy out" the way his desperation becomes evident in his pleas instantly weakens your will to tease him, nodding to him with a small bite to your lip
He wastes no time carrying you to the soft silk of the hotel bed, spreading your legs with his hands and dragging the string down from your hips,
"Mnhmm baby you smell so good" his kisses trail down your abdomen until they halt on the outside of your pussy, moving to your inner thighs instead, his hands working to caress you in the meantime
"Gguk please" you whine, squirming under the soft touch of his hands running down the inside of your thigh,
He smiles, leaning his head down between your thighs, right in front of your glistening cunt,
Thumbing your clit side to side, he takes a second to admire you, back arched just for him
"Cute pussy, all mine"
"Mghmm yes!" your high voice cries out, fingers finding his small locks and engulfing them into you, tugging at them while simultaneously pushing his head further into your neediness
"Just like that" you continue rambling, grinding your heat against his skilled, warm tongue that's working hard to lapp up all your juices
His tongue is tireldessly pushing into your hole, fucking you until you can't help but shake,
"You taste so good pretty"
"Prettiest girl" he whispers, blowing some air on your swollen clit, his cock throbbing inside his swimshorts as much as your soaked entrance
"Want your cock please baby!"
He stops, pressing a kiss to your cunt before crashing his covered lips onto yours, your hands busying with his shorts, pulling his hard on out with a sigh
Then, you turn sideways to kiss his neck, licking over his sweet spots and making him moan until he can't wait anymore, gently lowering your back on the bed and aligning his stiff dick against your entrance
"God so tight" he whines, hands getting lost in the flesh on your hips, you moan from feeling so full,
His bicep flexes while he begins thrusting into you, as needy and hot as it is, he's slow and firm nonethelss, keeping his eye contact with you
"You're beautiful" he smiles, referring to so much more than your tits slapping against each other erotically, than your little cunt drenched in slick or your soft face in the sunlight, he means everything, every little detail on your skin, that mole on your neck, that sound from your lips, the way you touch him, the way you love him
"You feel so so good, so pretty too ggukie" your moans are genuine and long, not hasty or in a rush to release
He does feel himself get close when you begin touching his torso, abs flexing with the little touches and his cock becoming more and more desperate to paint your gummy walls white
Savoring the moment with a passionate kiss, he caresses your hips and listens carefully to your moans,
"Almost there pretty, cum for me" his encouragement drives you up the edge, the, getting pushed over it by his finger drawing small circles on your oversensitive clit
You cum blissfully, coating his cock in your essence while he paints you with his, smiling into ths open mouthed, messy kiss
"Mhm.. i love you" he breathes out, kissing your cheek repeated, his softer cock remaining inside you
"I love.. you too jungkook" you reciprocrate, pressings a tiny kiss to his nose
The romantic moment is disturbed by your phone buzzing,
Soojin: did u find the suncream or did he cream you instead?
Both of you giggle, sending a selfie that shows both of you are probably naked, happy and definitely naked.
ââ â§ àšà§ @luvismenu
making out with her cunt thru her panties âš
Kim Taehyung Overstimulates You // Audio Smut
552 followers?!? tyyy i love yall soooo muchhhhh!!!
Warning: the girl screams and its LOUD đđđ Taehyung is being a little too cruel ig đ€Żđ€Ż
IMAGINE TAE PUNISHING YOU BUT IN A GOOD WAY.
one day i'll do a soft taehyung audio but i think tae is such a dom and very kinky... like i can see him enjoying that kind of screaming a lot.
dont u just luvv our taee? đ„°đ„°
do not repost
First postđ©·
â ïžMDNIâ ïž
boyfriend kook <3
NOT IN THAT WAY â JJK
summary in which you're hopelessly in love with your best friend, min yoongi. meanwhile, your other best friend, jeon jungkook, is hopelessly in love with you.
â based on this request â
pairing non idol!jk x fem!reader (slightly ft. min yoongi)
wordcount 30k (20k main post, 10k block limit reblog)
genre childhood bff2l, fluff, angst, smut
rating 18+ minors do not interact
content jk&oc 21 | yoongi&jia 22, unrequited love everywhere, yoongi is kind of villainized đ, toxic friendships, jk and oc are v touchy n lovey friends, pining, pushover & lowk naive oc, protective jk, simp jk, a touch of he hates everyone but her trope, a lot of clichĂ©s, a lot of flashbacks, heated-ish arguments, panic/anxiety attack, alcohol consumption, a lil bitta jealousy, kissing under the influence, smoking (ciggies), cursing, non-detailed sex scene w yoongi, happy ending because it's me đ explicit content; dirty talk, nipple play, clit play, cunnilingus, condomless p in v sex (oc on pill), toy usage during sex (vibrator), multiple orgasms, creampie, lots of pillow talk
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The rain drums against the windows of Jungkookâs Jeep as you cradle a six-pack of strawberry soju on your lap, the bottles clinking slightly with each bump in the road.
Jungkook hums softly to an old Linkin Park track from the mixtape he's played a hundred times before, the nostalgia pulling you in until you find yourself humming along without even realizing it.
Heâd picked you up from your place not long ago, with a quick stop at the liquor store for beer and snacks, and now the two of you were about ten minutes away from Yoongi and Jiaâs apartment.
Youâve been best friends with them for as long as you can rememberâJungkook, Yoongi, and Jia. Jungkook, just a little longer than the others. Growing up on the same street, realizing that the boy with the big bunny smile from your second-grade class lived right next doorâit almost felt like fate.
âč âč âč
âHow was school, honey?â Your mom leaned down to wrap you in a hug, her soft bangs brushing against your cheek.
Eight-year-old you giggled at the ticklish feeling before grabbing her hand and tugging her excitedly toward the school gates, eager to begin the walk home. âIt was so fun, eomma! My teacher let us watch a movie since we finished all our work early!â
âOooh, thatâs nice, sweetie.â Your mom smiled warmly, easily keeping pace with you, her strides leisurely next to your quick, hurried steps.
The two of you chatted happily about your day, your little hand swinging in hers, when something up ahead caught your attention.
âOh? Jeongguk-ssi!â you called out, your voice high with excitement.
Your mom followed your gaze and saw a young boy, about your age, walking just ahead of you. He turned at the sound of his name, curiosity lighting up his big eyes.
âY/N-ssi? Hey!â Jungkook waved with that trademark bunny smile, and without missing a beat, you pulled your mom along as you ran up to him.
âI didnât know you walked home!â you exclaimed, beaming. âThis is my eomma!â You introduced her proudly while your mom greeted both Jungkook and his mother. âWeâre walking home too!â you added with a grin.
âCool,â Jungkook beamed before patting his mom on the arm. âThis is my eomma! We live just down there.â His little hand reached out to point at a street just within view.
âNo way!â you screeched, eyes wide in disbelief as you whipped around to look at your mom for confirmation. âThatâs our street!â you shouted, practically buzzing with excitement.
âWow⊠and weâre in the same class? This is getting weird,â Jungkook muttered, equally amazed. You both stood there, nodding at each other with wide, stunned eyes.
Your moms laughed at your expressions before yours turned to his. âShould we walk together?â
âYes!â you cried, bouncing on your toes. âI want to talk to Jeongguk-ssi about the movie we watched today!â
You didnât even wait for an answer, slipping out of your momâs grasp to walk beside Jungkook, chattering away as if youâd known each other for thirty years already.
Jungkookâs mom chuckled, falling into step with yours as they followed closely behind, chatting about mom things while you and Jungkook walked ahead, engrossed in your conversation about 'Robots'. You were so caught up that you didnât even realize youâd arrived home until your mom gently pulled you to a stop.
âWeâre home, sweetie. Time to go in and start your homework before dinner. Youâll see Jungkook tomorrow, okay?â Your momâs soft voice pulled you from your excitement, and you looked up at her with a pout.
âOkayâŠâ you sighed, turning back to Jungkook, who was still smiling at you. His expression confused you. He wasnât sad to leave like you were⊠Why wasnât he upset? You thought the conversation was going greatâŠ
âY/N-ssi, I live right there!â Jungkook exclaimed suddenly, bouncing on his toes as he pointed toward the house directly next to yours.
Your eyes followed where he pointed before snapping back to him in an instant, your pigtails flying. âWow! We can walk to school together and-and walk home together and talk about movies! And youâre wearing a Superman t-shirt, and Iâve seen half of the Superman movie! This is so cool!â
Jungkook didnât correct youâhis shirt wasnât Superman, it was Iron Man, his favorite hero of all-time. But he didnât care. He just grinned, matching your excitement with a big nod.
Jungkookâs mom chuckled again, tapping him on the shoulder. âOkay, Gukkie, we better go start your homework, too.â She turned to your mom with a warm smile. âIâll give you a call later to talk about what we mentioned before, Bora?â
âYeah, absolutely. Thanks, Hyomin.â Your mom gave her arm a quick squeeze before gently guiding you inside.
âBye, Gukkie! See you tomorrow!â you called out, using the nickname you heard his mom call him as he walked up his driveway with her.
âBye, Y/N-ssi! See you tomorrow!â he grinned before disappearing inside with Hyomin.
The next day, your moms walked you both to school, chatting as they went, and when they left, they seemed to head off in the same direction.
That evening, you found out theyâd gone for coffee to get to know each other better, and it turned out they got along incredibly well. At the time, their husbands were the ones working while they stayed home to care for the kids and the house. It wasn't long before they were exchanging recipes, enjoying wine nights together, and becoming each otherâs go-to babysitters whenever one had an appointment. Soon, they were inseparable.
Just like you and Jungkook.
âș âș âș
You first met Jia and Yoongi about six months later, when you and Jungkook moved up to third grade. It was a combined class of third and fourth-graders, with Jia and Yoongi a year older than you both. Since the activities were separated by gender, you and Jia naturally grew close, always being paired up or placed in the same groups for subjects. It was the same for Jungkook and Yoongi.
Jia was beautiful. From the day you met her, you knew she was in a league of her own with her looksâ naturally wavy raven hair, long lashes, and starry eyes that made her stand out in any crowd.
As you all grew older, Jia only became more stunning, her confidence blossoming with age. By high school, she had every boy wrapped around her finger. And she knew it.
What you didnât expect, though, was for Yoongi to be one of those boys.
Jungkook was the first to know about your insatiable crush on Yoongi. Of course he was. He was your best friend, the peanut butter to your jelly, the moon to your light. Youâd confided in him when you first realized around middle school that your feelings for Yoongi had shifted, that you didn't just like him as a friend anymore.
You told Jia, too. But she seemed to brush it off as just an innocent childhood crush, something that would fade with time. When she and Yoongi only grew closer, eventually making it official during your senior year of high school, you felt like you were going to die.
You love Jia. She's an incredible friend, and she deserves all the good things the boy you were in love with had to offer.
But no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself that you werenât a jealous person, the ache in your chest was impossible to ignore. And every time you visit their shared apartment, which they moved into not long after their second anniversary, you canât stop that very ache from resurfacing as soon as you step through the threshold.
âHey. Weâre-oââ
Jungkookâs words die on his lips as soon as he steps into the doorway of Yoongi and Jiaâs apartment, his body freezing in place. You donât have time to stop, bumping into his back, the soju in your arms rattling with the impact. Jungkook turns around to steady you before Jia's voice rips through the room.
âYou always fucking do this! Iâm so sick of it, Yoongi! Seriously! I canât fucking take it anymore!â She storms toward the kitchen counter, snatching up her jacket and keys. Her eyes pass right over you and Jungkook as if you werenât there, and she shoves past you both in her rush to leave.
âYeah, walk away like you always do, Jia.â Yoongiâs laughter is bitter as he follows her to the door. âIâll see you at, what, 10 oâclock when you come crying back, saying that youâre sorry and you overreacted again?â
You exchange a glance with Jungkook, both of you fidgeting uncomfortably with the drinks in your hands. This was just supposed to be one of your usual Friday hangouts⊠but instead, youâve walked straight into a war zone.
Jiaâs already halfway down the hall when she whirls around, her eyes blazing with venom. âNo, I wonât.â Her voice is sharp, her tone final. âIâm done, Yoongi. Weâre done.â
Yoongiâs face falters immediately, and in all the years youâve known him, youâve never seen him look this lost. âWhat?â His voice softens, a note of desperation creeping in as he steps toward her. She shakes her head, holding up a hand to stop him.
âIâm serious, Yoongi. I canât do this anymore. We need a break⊠some time apart.â
Even though they fight often, the look on Yoongiâs face tells you that this is different. That maybe sheâs never called it quits like this before.
âWhâjagi? No, donâtâno⊠just get some air? Please? Weâll talk later, okay?â Yoongiâs voice cracks, and you feel your brows furrow, your heart aching at his tone.
Jungkook silently sets his beer on the counter, gently taking the soju from your arms and placing it beside his. He returns to your side, his arm slipping around yours. The warmth of his touch grounds you, but your eyes stay fixed on the man you love, who looks like heâs about to fall apart right in front of you.
âThis is toxic. Weâre toxic, Yoongi. We fight every single day. This isnât love⊠this isâI donât even know what this is.â Jiaâs voice trembles, her grip tightening around her keys as she struggles to keep her tears at bay.
Your instinct is to step forward, to offer your best friend comfort, but she rejects your gesture, wiping away the tears that have just started streaming down her face. Her face contorts in pain, causing your lips to purse as you itch to pull her into a hug. Jungkook moves close behind you, his presence reassuring, but you arenât the one who needs comforting right nowâJia and Yoongi are. Jungkook doesnât move, just leans against the wall next to you, his gaze fixed on the ground.
âJia, please.â Yoongiâs voice is raw, a pleading tone youâve never heard from him before. You glance at him, your chest tightening as you see his eyes all glossy and red.
You have witnessed plenty of arguments between Jia and Yoongi over the years. Whether it was when you were all just friends in school and they disagreed on something, or when theyâd suddenly break out into a heated fight during a night out at your favorite bar. But this one feels so different, and you don't know what to do.
You shift a little, moving to stand properly beside Jungkook, your head tilting up to meet his gaze. He glances down at you, about to ask if you're okay right as youâre about to suggest you guys go back inside, but Jiaâs voice cuts through the air again.
âIâm gonna go stay with my mom. Iâll get my brother to come pick up my things⊠I need space, Yoongi.â
You swear you see the exact moment his heart snaps in two. His knees almost buckle when Jia turns around without another word, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, desperate to get out of the building as fast as she can.
Immediately, you and Jungkook rush to Yoongi, enveloping him in a tight hug. The dam breaks, and he begins sobbing in your embrace, his body trembling between the two of you. His breath carries the faint, bitter scent of alcohol as he struggles to catch his breath. You sigh, realizing the argument probably escalated because theyâd both been drinking.
After a moment of rubbing his back soothingly, you suddenly glance up at Jungkook in alarm, which he returns with a puzzled look.
âYoongi,â you whisper, tilting your head back to search his tear-streaked face, gently wiping away the streams flowing down his cheeks. âHoney, has Jia been drinking too?â
Yoongi doesnât answer, still too distraught to process your question. His sobs only deepen, his body shaking with every breath.
Jungkook immediately understands, his hand lightly rubbing the back of Yoongiâs neck before he pulls away, quickly disappearing down the staircase that Jia had descended.
âCome on, hun, letâs go inside,â you murmur, guiding the broken boy toward the couch. His legs are heavy, dragging as you help him into the apartment with an arm around his waist.
Once inside, you manage to coax him onto the couch, gently urging him to sit down. His face is flushed, streaked with tears, and your heart wrenches at the sight. You pull the throw blanket from the back of the couch, draping it carefully over his lap.
The sheer amount of tears pouring from his eyes leaves your brows furrowed almost permanently. Youâve never seen Yoongi like this beforeâso utterly broken. Whether itâs the alcohol or the depth of this fight with Jia, you donât know, but you feel sick to your fucking stomach.
You head to the kitchen, filling a glass of water before returning to Yoongiâs side. Sitting down next to him, you adjust the blanket so it covers both your legs and his. âHere, Yoongi. Drink some water, please?â you offer, gently wiping away the moisture clinging to his cheeks.
With a sniffle and a hiccup, Yoongi glances at you, then wraps his trembling hand around the cup. He takes a few gulps, finishing about half before you gently set it back on the coffee table. Then, you rest your head on his shoulder.
The room feels unbearably quiet now, and you donât know what to say, how to make any of this better. âIâm so sorry, Yoongi.â
âI canât believe itâs over.â His tears have stopped, but his voice is hoarse. His sad, dilated eyes lock onto yours, making your heart ache even more. âSheâs all Iâve ever known, Y/N. I donât know what to fucking do. Whatâwhat do I do?â His voice cracks.
âIâŠâ You hesitate, your mind scrambling for something, anything that could comfort him. But for once, you donât have an answer. âI have no idea, hunâŠâ
Youâre no stranger to giving Yoongi advice about Jia, and vice versa. Youâve practically become an expert over the years. But right now, youâre absolutely clueless.
Your best friend nods, his lips pursing to the side as he tries not to cry again. You exhale, your breath shaky as you shift to face him when he turns away. The blanket slips slightly, and your hands instinctively reach out to adjust it over his lap. But then, his trembling hand lands on yours, stopping you.
Your gaze lifts to his face, brows furrowing in concern. Thereâs a look in his eyesâsomething you've never quite seen before.
âYoongi? Are youâmmfââ
His lips are warm, tasting faintly of Laphroaigâhis favorite whiskey. The smoky sweetness floods your senses, dazing you as if youâd taken the bottle and downed the entire thing yourself. Suddenly, you're letting him guide you onto his lap, his hands gripping your waist as the blanket slips to the floor, forgotten.
Your mind blanks as he deepens the kiss, his tongue sweeping past your lips in a desperate, feverish attempt to lose himself. His grip tightens, and he swallows your surprised gasp, pulling you closer, as if trying to drown out his heartache in the heat of you.
The realization hits you like a fucking truck.
You immediately jerk away, gasping for breath, your body trembling as you quickly scramble off his lap. Your legs feel weak as you collapse back onto the couch beside him, your wide eyes staring blankly at the wall above the TV.
Their TV.
A tense, painful silence fills the room, and you think youâre gonna puke.
Your lips still tingle with the memory of his, your heart pounding so hard youâre sure he can hear it. That was everything youâve ever fucking wantedâbut for all the wrong fucking reasons.
Your phone buzzes in your back pocket, yanking you out of your spiral. Clearing your throat awkwardly, you pull the device from your jeans and push yourself off the couch, stepping toward the kitchenette as you answer the call with shaky hands.
âHey, bug. Iâve got Jia.â Jungkookâs voice soothes the crease in your brow before you even realize it. âSheâs sleeping in the back. Iâm going to drop her at her momâs, and then Iâll come back to get you. Is Yoongi okay?â
You glance back at Yoongi, who's still sitting in stunned silence on the couch. âYeâkkkhmmâyes, heâs fine. Okay, Iâll see you when you get back.â
Yep. Of course your voice broke. He wonât ignore that.
âBug?â His tone softens, laced with concern. You close your eyes, trying to hold back the tears that spring to your eyes. âY/N, are you okay?â
âMhm,â you choke back the cry building in your throat, glancing over your shoulder at Yoongi. His head is buried in his hands, elbows pressed hard into his knees. âIâm okay, Gukkie. Just get Jia to her momâs, and Iâll see you soon, okay?â
Jungkook goes quiet for a long second at your quivering voice. âNo, bug. Iâm gonna come get you first. Tell me why youâre crying, please.â
Your chest tightens, and when you try to speak, your voice cracks again. You roll your teary eyes, swiping your free hand roughly over your face. ââll tell you later, Gukkie. Please, just⊠please take Jia to her momâs.â
He goes quiet again, and if it werenât for the sound of his windshield wipers squeaking against the glass, you would have thought he hung up.
Jungkookâs fingers tighten around the steering wheel as he fights the urge to turn the car around right now and drive back to get you. If Yoongi is the reason youâre crying... Fuck, he canât even finish the thought.
âIâll be back to get you in thirty minutes, okay?â he manages to say, his pulse pounding.
âThank you, Gukkie. I love you, please drive safe.â
âI love you too, bug,â he sighs before letting you disconnect the call.
Jungkook glances up at his rearview mirror to see a sleeping Jia sprawled out on his backseat, soft snores escaping her lips. He doesnât entirely hate Jia, but he canât ignore how poorly she treats you, no matter how much you try to convince him otherwise.
What kind of person feels the need to one-up their friend in every aspect of life? What kind of person knows about the insecurities that their beautiful, amazing friend has, but discredits them and forces them outside of their comfort zone anyway? What kind of person learns about the feelings their friend harbors for someone, and shortly after, goes for that person just to prove they can?
Whether Jia does it subconsciously or not, whether her intentions are ill or not, whether you notice or not, Jungkook sees everything.
At the end of the day, itâs you he cares about. You are his best friend. You are the love of his life. You are the one he will protect at all costs when it comes down to it. You are the one he will choose.
You will not get hurt in the crossfire of Yoongi and Jiaâs fucked-up relationship. Jungkook will make sure of that.
âAre you okay?â Your voice is quietâthe quietest Yoongi has ever heard, and his heart splinters.
His head lifts from his hands, eyes searching for you. Youâre standing a few feet away, the distance between you obvious, and he almost cringes. âDon't, bug. Are you okay? Iâm so fucking sorry.â
Itâs still strange to hear Yoongi call you the nickname Jungkook gave you what feels like a hundred years ago, but you canât ignore the warmth it stirs in your chest when he does.
âOf course Iâm okay,â you say carefully. âYouâre hurting... People do silly things when theyâre hurting.â
Yoongiâs breath hitches, his hands running through his hair in frustration. âI shouldnât have done that. Iâm sorry for making you uncomfortable, bug, Iââ
âYou didnât.â Youâre quiet again, and he freezes, confusion knitting his brows. âMake me, um, uncomfortable.â
He scoffs under his breath, hands rubbing at his temples. âSure seems like I did.â
âNo, you could never makeââ
âY/N, donât say that. I kissed you. I pulled you on top of meââ
âI let youââ
âI took advantage of youââ
âYou didnâtââ
âStop fucking defending me! Stop thinking the best of meââ
âIâm notââ
âYou are! You always do! Even when I act like a complete piece of shiââ
âI love you.â
The room falls into a suffocating silence. Yeah, youâre definitely going to puke now.
Yoongiâs hands slowly fall away from his face, his eyes desperate to meet yours. But you refuse to look at him. Your gaze stays fixed on the rug you helped Jia pick out from your favorite vintage home decor store. Youâre going to get vomit all over such a pretty rug.
âBugâŠâ His voice is soft, pleading. You donât look up. You donât move. You canât.
Youâve said âI love youâ to Yoongi plenty of times before. But you know that you canât possibly play this off as another friendly declaration. You know he caught what you really meant.
Over a decade of hiding and suppressing your feelings for him, just for you to suddenly blurt it out because you couldnât bear to hear him talk badly about himself? And to think your stupid therapist said your chronic people-pleasing tendencies were getting better.
âY/N. Please.â You didnât even realize heâd stood from the couch, didnât notice him moving closer. But you feel it when his shaky hand gently lifts your chin, forcing you to look at him.
âYou donât mean that,â he murmurs, shaking his head slowly, his eyes filled with sadness as he takes in your expression.
âOkay.â You nod, tears slipping down your cheeks despite your efforts to hold them back. âI didnât mean it. Letâs just forget it happenedââ
âYou canât love me, bug.â He looks like heâs in so much pain, and your stomach clenches. Heâs repulsed by the idea of you loving him in that way. God, you wished that youâd just stayed home tonight and watched movies with Jungkook like he had suggested.
Who were you even kidding? Yoongi is inâwell, was inâa relationship with one of the most gorgeous, fierce, and confident women youâve ever met. Jia is everything a man could want. He loves her. Obviously, he loves her. How pathetic could you be?
âYoongi, Iâm sorry. I-I donât know why I even said that. Iâm so stupid.â You sniffle, and Yoongi sighs deeply, his thumb brushing away the tear that spills down your cheek. âPlease forget it. Please, letâs just forgeââ
But he cuts you off, his lips crashing into yours again, more intense this time. His kiss pulls you under before you can even think to resist, and it's not long before your body completely surrenders. Your lips part, letting him in, stifling the urge to moan as his tongue meets yours. Yoongiâs hands move from your jaw to thread through your hair, pulling you closer, and suddenly, everythingâright, wrong, loyalty, friendshipâfades. Itâs just him.
A deep groan vibrates from his throat, and you capture it, drinking it in as your head spins. Your hands unfreeze and find their way to his chest, feeling the warmth beneath the fabric of his shirt. You grip the material, tugging him even closer, satisfaction surging through you as he presses himself against you.
Yoongi pulls back, just for a moment, and you force yourself not to chase his lips. Your eyes flutter open, taking in the sight of his swollen pout and reddened cheeks. âI didnât know, Y/NâŠâ
You shake your head, swallowing the lump in your throat. âI know. Itâs okay, really. You donât have toââ
âI didnât know that you had feelings for me, too.â
Your hands jerk back, the fabric slipping from your fingers as you stumble away. What?
âWhat?â you whisper, your voice barely audible.
No? Thatâs not. No.
âOf course I love you, bug.â Yoongiâs eyes soften, and his words spill out like itâs the most obvious thing in the world. âWhatâs not to love? Youâre smart, funny, pretty, sweet⊠Anybody would be lucky to have you.â
Your head starts shaking furiously, your brain scrambling to process what heâs saying. âYouâreâa-are you drunk? You donât mean that. You canât just say something like that to me if you donât mean itââ
âYou know me, Y/N. You know my tolerance, and Iâve barely had much to drink. Iâm just really emotional tonight. But I mean it, I do love you.â
You stare at him, the boy youâve loved in secret for years, the one youâve cried over, wishing for this exact moment. And now, the words youâve always dreamed of are tumbling from his lips.
But⊠where are the fireworks?
Thereâs no rainbow-colored burst in your head, no magical release of all the pain youâve carried, no sense of it washing down a metaphorical drain. You pout at the thought.
You feel happy, yes. Relieved, yes. Confused⊠yes.
A soft thudding noise furrows Jungkookâs brows as he twists the handle to Yoongiâs apartment door.
The lights in the living room are on. Thereâs a blanket sprawled across the rug you really wanted from your favorite vintage home decor storeâthe one Jia bought because she said it would look cute in her new apartment. Your sandals are neatly placed next to the doormat, but youâre nowhere in sight.
Jungkook peeks into the nearby rooms, checking the main bathroom and laundry, both empty. His steps slow as he reaches Yoongi and Jiaâs bedroom, where a sliver of light spills from beneath the door. His hand hovers over the knob before it freezes, his blood running cold.
âOh! Fuck!â Your sweet voice rings in his ears, rendering him immobile.
No.
No, bug⊠Fuck.
The thudding noise he heard when he entered the apartment returns, now registering loud and clear as the headboard of Yoongiâs bed slamming harshly into the wall. Jungkook tries to move, tries to turn around and leave, but he canât.
âShit, bug! You like that?â
Jungkookâs fist tightens around the doorknob as he hears his best friend call you by his nickname while he fucks you. Heâs got some fucking nerve.
âMhmm, I-I love ittt.â
Jungkook stumbles back from the door as he feels the bile rising in his throat. He heads to the kitchen, chest tightening painfully with every step. He grabs a glass, fills it with water, and downs it in three gulps. Then he fills it again, downs it again. And again. And again.
He repeats the action until his eyes are watering and he canât force himself to swallow another mouthful. The sick feeling clawing at his throat remains unaffected. He's gonna fucking pass out.
Heâs shaking now as he carefully sets the glass in the dishwasher. Then, he walks to the door and removes his shoes, lining them up perfectly alongside yours. After turning off the light, Jungkook walks to the couch and bends down to pick up the ugly blanket draped across your pretty little rug.
Your body clock wakes you as it does every morning. Groggily, your hand reaches out, searching for your phone on your bedside table. But instead of the familiar hard surface, your fingers only encounter more mattress instead.
âč âč âč
âOkay, can you pass me two screw Câs, please, Gukkie?â you asked, eyes bouncing between the half-built table you were trying your best to put together.
Jungkook stayed quiet for a moment, his hand hovering over the screw Câs even though he knew it was actually screw Bâs you needed for that part. He glanced over, catching sight of your little pout, and grabbed two screw Bâs, plopping them into your hand.
âThank youââ you started, pausing when you noticed the bolts werenât what you thought. âGukkie, no, I need screw Câs.â
âNo, bug, you need screw Bâs.â He rubbed your leg, which was bumping against his as you both sat cross-legged on the floor of your new apartment.
âWhatâI⊠huh?â you mumbled in confusion, glancing from the manual to the table, then back to the manual. âOhhhh, fuuuckk!â
You dropped the screws and manual with a whine, pulling your knees up and burying your face in them. âIâve gotten the last three steps backward! Iâll have to basically unassemble it andâugh!â you groaned, grumbling into Jungkookâs shoulder when he laughed, catching you as you flopped against him. âShouldâve just let you build it like you wanted to,â you muttered.
Jungkook just shrugged, glancing at the table. âSâokay. Wonât take me long. Want to order our dinner?â
You glanced up at your best friend, hands reaching to grab his cheeks and squeeze them. âYes. Thank you. I love you.â He turned his face to give your hand a quick kiss, nodding as he reached for the table pieces. âI love you more. My phoneâs over there,â he gestured to the couch behind you, a silent invitation to use his delivery app.
You nodded, grabbing his phone and angling away just enough so he wouldnât see you switch to your own device instead. He never let you pay, but he was building your furniture...
Youâd happily take the scolding once your bellies were full and your cute new table was standing next to your bed.
âș âș âș
Confused, you open your eyes, only to be met with the sight of a blank beige wall. But⊠your walls aren't beige?
And then it hits you.
Yoongi.
You and Yoongi.
The arm wrapped firmly around your waist tugs you closer as Yoongi nuzzles into your back, still half-asleep. You freeze, your heart skipping a beat, before gently trying to pull the blanket up over your exposed chest. But even in his sleep, his grip on you remains strong. Youâre about to tug a little harder when you suddenly remember.
Jungkook.
Holy fuck, Jungkook. He was supposed to come back for you. He must have, but you werenât out there waiting for him. Panic surges through you as you scramble out of the bed, not even thinking as you leap for your jeans discarded on the bedroom floor.
Yoongi stirs, a confused grunt escaping him as his eyes slowly open, watching you frantically search your pants. âI would say Iâm hurt youâre rushing to get dressed so quickly,â he drawls, voice husky with sleep, âbut your ass looks fantastic from here, so Iâll let it slideâŠâ
You roll your eyes with a little smile, still focused on finding your phone. Climbing back into bed once you have it in hand, he watches with a twinkly smirk, the bruise he left above your left nipple making his morning wood throb a little. His head tilts up to capture your lips, and you almost drop your phone at the feeling, but you donât let it last too long before flopping back next to him, finally opening your messages app.
[7:36 AM] To: Gukkie good morning, gukkie. iâm soooo sorry i didnât call you last night. i have so much to tell you. please text me back when you wake up, okay? i love you đ
You scroll back to the last message, a photo from Jungkook of an anime figurine he found at the gas station yesterday on his way to pick you up. He said it reminded him of you.
Youâve never been much into animeâonly knowing what you do from when you go over to his place and finish the episode heâs currently watching with himâbut the character was so cute. Maybe youâll ask him to show you the series later.
Youâre just about to ask Yoongi if you can borrow his charger because your phoneâs at 5%, but his phone rings, interrupting your question. He presses a soft kiss to your shoulder before leaning over to grab his phone from the bedside table. As he glances at the screen, a sigh slips from his lips, his hand running through his hair in a familiar gesture that tells you exactly whoâs calling. A knot forms in your stomach as you focus back on your phone, pretending to be preoccupied with the screen.
Clad only in his boxers, Yoongi gets up and quietly slips into the ensuite, shutting the door behind him. His voice is low, muffled by the walls, but you donât try to listen. Instead, you lean over to his bedside table, searching for a charger amongst the clutter, but come up empty. After a quick check of the drawers and still finding nothing, you sigh.
Just as youâre about to get up and search the rest of the room, you glance back at your phone in your lap. The messages app is still open, and your heart stutters when you notice the read receipt on the last text you sent.
Read 7:37 AM.
Jungkookâs awake? Maybe heâs just in the bathroom and will reply soon. Or maybe you woke him up, and he was too tired to respond. Or maybe heâs mad at you for ditching him yesterday. Guilt twists in your chest, and you bite hard on your inner lip, knowing youâve just earned yourself a spot in the Shitty Friend Hall of Fame after last night.
You're typing another message to Jungkook when the ensuite door opens. You glance up, only to find Yoongi stepping back into the room with a somber expression. His movements are slow, careful. Your stomach drops.
Suddenly, youâre all too aware of how underdressed you are. Your phone slips from your fingers into the blankets without a thought as you scramble back up to grab your shirt from the floor. Your throat feels scratchy, and you clear it awkwardly, desperate to fill the silence as you tug the fabric over your head. Yoongi watches your frantic movements and sighs as he reaches out to you, but you pull away, avoiding his touch.
His voice is strained. âBugâŠâÂ
God, youâre so fucking stupid. Of course, this was nothing to him. You were nothing but a momentary distraction, a warm body to offer comfort while he was hurting. Of course it takes one five-minute call from your beautiful best friend to have him regretting everything that happened between you.
Holy fuck. Jia.
Sheâs going to be furious. She's going to kill you. Sheâs going to hate you.
Panic rises in your chest, and your vision blurs as tears well up in your eyes. You stumble back slightly, grabbing for your jeans again, but your hands are shaking too much to pull them on. Yoongi steps closer, taking the jeans from your hands, his fingers brushing against your skin, warm and gentle.
And thatâs when you break.
He pulls you into his arms as you lose it, sobbing uncontrollably, ugly and snotty. âIâm so sorry, Y/N. Jia and I⊠weâre gonna try to work on things⊠Thereâs just so much history, and we werenât thinking clearly last night. Iâm soââ
âNo, IâmâŠâ you choke out between hiccups, wrenching free from his arms, hurriedly wiping your eyes and nose. âIâm sorry, Iâm so sorry. Oh my god, sheâs going to hate me. What have I done? I-Iââ
Your words falter as a wave of dizziness hits you, and your vision begins to blur at the edges. Your heart is pounding so loudly in your ears that it drowns out everything else. The tightness in your chest makes it hard to breathe, each breath becoming shallower, more frantic. âYoongââ
The room is closing in on you, suffocating. The panic seizes your lungs, and even the minimal clothing youâre wearing feels too heavy, too much.
Itâs been two years since your last episode and you'd almost forgotten how they felt like. But right now, but the feeling is all too fucking familiar.
Yoongiâs eyes widen in alarm. Heâs saying your name, you think, but all you can hear is the deafening thud of your own heartbeat. Your hands tremble uncontrollably, and before you know it, you collapse to the floor, curling into yourself.
Head on your knees. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. Just like your nurse taught you. Just like your best friend practiced with you for hours until you both experts in the method.
But itâs not working. Itâs not fucking working.
âY/N?â Yoongiâs voice rises in panic, his eyes wide and helpless. âY/N, please. Whatâs happening? What do I do? I-Iâm going to call an ambuââ
The door to Yoongiâs room slams open, hitting the wall with a thud at the force it was thrown open. Within seconds, Yoongi is shoved aside, and the warmth of strong arms wraps around you. You donât even have to look up; youâd recognize his touch and scent anywhere. The most comforting, familiar presence in your life surrounds you, and while it barely steadies your racing pulse, it feels like everything.
Your body shudders with a fresh wave of tears as Jungkook pulls you into him, his arms cradling you while he gently rocks you back and forth. His lips press softly against the top of your head. ââSâok, bug,â he murmurs, his voice a soothing balm. âJust focus on your breathing. In and out, remember? Iâm here. Iâm with you. Weâre here together. Weâre okay.â
âKookâŠâ Yoongiâs strained voice cuts through, watching helplessly as you cling desperately to Jungkookâs shirt. âIâm sorry, I didnât know what toââ
âYoongi,â Jungkook interrupts, his voice low, firm, almost dangerous as he speaks without taking his eyes off of you. âWhen sheâs okay, weâre going to leave.â
Yoongi immediately agrees, his expression growing more concerned as he watches you fall apart in Jungkookâs arms, âY-yeah-uh, yeah, I can drive you guys ifââ
âIf you or Jia ever drag her into your fucked-up situation again,â Jungkook finally lifts his gaze from you, staring coldly into Yoongiâs eyes as he continues, âyou will both regret it.â
Youâre slowly regaining control, your breathing evening out, but youâre still too drained to form words. You want to tell Jungkook that itâs not Yoongiâs fault. That you were just as much to blame. That you made this mess, too. But the words wonât come. Youâre too spent, too weak to defend him.
Jungkook watches as you struggle to speak, your breath still uneven but slowly regulating. His focus is entirely on you, not caring about whatever unreadable expression Yoongi is wearing. Anger, regretâwhatever the fuck, Jungkook couldnât care less. All that matters to him is that your sobs have finally stopped and your breathing is settling.
Youâre still trying to speak, no doubt in an attempt to defend your other best friend. The other best friend whoâs standing a foot away from you looking like he was going to have a panic attack. Fucking pathetic, Jungkook thinks.
His gaze softens as he brushes his thumbs gently across your cheeks, wiping away the lingering tears. You pull back slightly, clearing your throat to try and gather your strength.
He raises an eyebrow in disapproval, silently telling you to stop straining yourself, but he lets it slide without comment. Your hand hastily moves to wipe your nose, your chest tightening in embarrassment by the state youâre in.
Jungkook moves your hand away, lifting the bottom of his t-shirt to gently wipe under your nose, the way someone would for a baby when they couldn't blow their own.
A raspy laugh escapes your lips before you can stop it and Jungkookâs lips quirk up at the sound, a little weight lifting from his heart as he finally sees you smile. He finishes wiping your face and lets the t-shirt fall back down, his hands resting on yours where theyâve settled on his leg.
âFirst one in a while,â he murmurs softly, still ignoring Yoongiâs presence across the room, allowing you to play absentmindedly with his hand.
âYeah,â you nod, sniffing one last time. âThought they were gone⊠Thank you for helping mââ Your voice falters, confusion clouding your expression as you look up at him. âWait, how are you here? Where did youâwhen did youââ
âHe slept here. On the couch.â
Yoongiâs voice interrupts, and your gaze snaps to him, brows knitting further in confusion. What? He knew Jungkook was here? And didnât tell you? âWhaââ
âSaw him when I went to grab water in the middle of the night,â Yoongi adds, resting casually against his dresser.
Annoyance flickers inside you, and you donât even know why. Maybe itâs the fact that Yoongi didnât tell you Jungkook was sleeping out there, alone on the couch. Or maybe itâs the sudden wave of nausea rising in your throat at the realization that Jungkook might have heard everything.
âYou ready to go?â Jungkookâs gentle voice pulls you back to the present, his thumb grazing over your knuckles. He leans forward and grabs your jeans from the floor, handing them to you without a word. You give a quick nod, accepting them and walking to the ensuite to put them on.
A few minutes later, you emerge from the bathroom, looking a little more put together. Your face is rinsed, and your hair is tied back into a ponytail, but the redness around your eyes remains, making Jungkookâs stomach churn. He doesnât say anything, just watches you cross the room silently.
You step forward, hugging Yoongi tightly, your voice small. âIâm really sorry, Yoongi. I justââ
âDonât,â Yoongi cuts you off, shaking his head. âYou donât need to apologize, bug.â
Jungkook, who had been waiting near the doorway, catches the end of your conversation. His jaw clenches when he hears Yoongi say, âI wonât mention anything to Jia.â
You nod, assuming he means that heâll let you break the news to her yourself. âThanks, Yoongi. Iâll come see her later toniââ
âNo, bug.â Yoongi interrupts again, his tone a little firmer this time. âI wonât say anything at all...â
You blink, confused. Your brows knit together as you search his face, trying to understand. He wanted to keep this a secret? From Jia, one of your best friends? The woman heâs in love with?
When it seems like you canât find the words to say, Jungkook approaches quietly, your sandals in hand, nudging them toward you. You break your gaze from Yoongi to slip into them, but your eyes flick back to him, silently begging for more explanation. He offers none.
Jungkook stands close and quietly behind you, waiting for you to finish up, and he hopes you do it soon because he really doesnât want to be in this house anymore. You finally avert your gaze from Yoongi, still confused and dazed, but suddenly desperate to leave. Jungkook reads the look instantly, repressing back what he really wants to say to Yoongi for the sake of your presence, slipping his hand into yours before leading you out of the apartment.
âDamn it,â Jungkook mutters, clicking his tongue in frustration, the sound echoing in the roomy cabin of his Jeep.
You glance over at him after fiddling with the knob of his car heater, noting his annoyed features. âHm? You okay?â
âWe left our drinks there.â A borderline adorable pout coats his lips as he sighs, and despite the heaviness in your chest, you canât help but smile.
âItâs okay.â You shrug, looking down at your lap. âDonât want them anymore.â
Jungkook glances at you, and the moment his eyes catch your expression, his heart twists. He wants to cup your face in his hands, massage your frown away, and tell you everything will be fine. But at the same time, all he can think about is driving back to Yoongiâs apartment after he drops you off at home and beating the ever-loving shit out of him.
Heâs so fucking angry.
Angry at how Yoongi would claim such a priceless fucking gift from the sweetest fucking girl and leave her hurt in the process. Angry at how he knows youâre blaming yourself for everything that happened last night when he would bet every cent to his name that you have nothing to be truly sorry for. Angry at the thought of how Jia will react, and how devastated youâre going to be. He knows Jiaâs history well enough to predict that she will somehow make this all your fault.
Jungkook's grip on the steering wheel tightens, his knuckles turning white as he takes a shaky breath. âItâs not your fault, bug,â he says as softly as he can in his vexed state.
Your eyes fill with tears again, and a sad laugh escapes you. âOf course it is.â
Jungkook shakes his head, his jaw tightening as he signals right and pulls over to the side of the road. As soon as the engine cuts off, his hand finds yours, and he turns to face you. âBugââ
âI told him, you know,â you sniffle through a short chuckle, cringing at what a shit-show this whole ordeal is. âI told him I loved him. And-and he said he loved me too.â
Jungkookâs heart stops. âHe what?â He doesnât know if you heard his words; he barely heard them himself. But when you purse your lips and nod sarcastically, he knows that you did.
âYup. Said that Iâm pretty and sweet and funny and that anyone would be lucky to have me.â You scoff bitterfly, using the hand not in the grasp of Jungkookâs to wipe your tears. âApparently not anyone because he clearly didnât want me. God, Iâm so pathetic. This is all just so pathetic.â
You finish wiping your face and dry your hand on your jeans, your thumb gently rubbing over Jungkookâs knuckles. âSorry, Gukkie,â you croak, sensing the way he tensed up and went quiet, probably due to all of your whining. âIâm done, promise. No more crying.â
Jungkook remains still, his brows furrowed as his gaze is fixed on nothing in particular, lost in thought. âGukkie?â you ask softly, nudging his hand with your finger to snap him out of it. Nothing.
You squint at him playfully, deciding to poke his cheek this time. It works, though the reaction is faintâa tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth, but you catch it.
Your head tilts as you move your finger from his cheek down to his lips, ready to poke again, but your focus wavers. His lips. Theyâre so pink. So plump. So pretty.
âYou are the furthest thing from pathetic, bug.â His voice is soft, drawing your attention back to his words, but your eyes remain on his lips. You smile at the way they shape each letter, his slight lisp curling around certain syllables.
A quiet sigh leaves you, and your hand drops to the buckle of his seatbelt, releasing it with a click. You unfasten your own as well before leaning over the center console. Jungkookâs hands move instinctively, helping guide you as you crawl into his lap, melting into his embrace.
He wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer and making sure youâre comfortable in his lap. One hand plays gently with your ponytail while the other traces soothing circles on your back. You bury your face in the curve of his neck, inhaling his familiar scentâa blend of his cologne that defied the night and the comforting aroma of soft linen that always reminds you of him.
âDonât deserve you,â you mumble, your breath tickling his skin. His muscles relax instantly, his body turning to mush under your weight.
Cuddling like this isnât anything new for the two of you. Itâs become your go-to after a rough day at work, or at uni. Whenever you meet him at his car after class, you more often than not end up in this exact position.
Jungkook remembers that one time a classmate walked past and saw you in his lap, assuming you were doing more than just seeking comfort from your best friend. You got so embarrassed that you stopped cuddling him in his car for a while. Jungkook hadnât cared at all, but he realized it really bothered you. So, maybe he booked his Jeep in for window tinting that night.
But even though this is routine, it doesnât stop Jungkook from from turning into a lovesick puppy when you do end up snuggling him. Because he does. Every single time.
âIf anyone deserves me, itâs you, bug,â he responds quietly.
Your hand strokes through his tousled hair, your fingers occasionally scratching his scalp the way he likes, and Jungkook has to bite back a pathetic whine. The way you hold him, the way your nose brushes against his neck, itâs too much and not enough at the same time. âI love you, Gukkie. Iâm sorry for being such a bad friend.â
âI love you too, bug,â he replies easily, tugging your shirt down as it rides up when you snuggle deeper into him. âBut if you say one more untrue, negative thing about yourself, youâre walking to uni tomorrow.â The half-hearted threat is followed by a gentle nudge of his head.
You pull back slightly, observing him quietly. His eyes are closed, his head resting peacefully against the seat. He looks so content, so at ease, and you wish he could stay like this forever.
Jungkook senses your gaze and squints his eyes open, a single brow raising in question. He adjusts your ponytail with a soft touch, waiting for you to say something. But you just shake your head and give him a sweet smile before climbing off his lap and settling back into your seat.
âCan we go watch that anime with the girl you said reminds you of me?â
Itâs been eight days since that night. Yoongi and Jia have reunited like nothing ever happened, and itâs driving you fucking crazy. He still hasnât told her.
Youâve seen them at university during the weekdays since then, and everything is normal. Jia has been normal, Yoongi has been normal. Itâs like nothing ever happened.
Three days ago, at the peak of your anxiety from keeping the secret, you caved.
The second you got home, you collapsed onto your bed, phone gripped tightly in your shaky hands. After six long rings, Yoongi finally picked up.
âHey, Y/Nââ
âI feel fucking sick, Yoongi. Please tell her. The longer we wait, the worse itâs going to be. This isnât okay.â
Yoongiâs sigh came low through the receiver, already giving you that sinking feeling in your chest. He's not going to tell her.
âShe doesnât need to know. It doesnât concern her. It was just a simple mistake, and we werenât even together at the time, bug. It's fine.â
It was just a simple mistake.
If you didnât already feel pathetic, you sure as hell do now.
Maybe heâs right. Maybe she doesnât need to know.
Youâve tried convincing yourself of that ever since your phone call. But deep down, you know that if the situation were reversed, youâd want to know.
Not that you ever would be, because Jia would never do something as horrible as this to you.
Over the past week, three things have been haunting you: hurting Jia, being a shitty friend, and not feeling as heartbroken as you thought you would be when, in the span of twelve hours, Yoongi:
Told you he loved you (nice).
Slept with you (nice).
Said he was getting back with his ex-girlfriend (not so nice).
Youâve been in love with Yoongi for your entire adult life and so much of your childhood that you canât even pinpoint when it all truly started.
When you think of Min Yoongi, you think of that warm, fuzzy feeling that swirls in your chest whenever someone you like walks into a room. The excitement of scanning the crowd at a party, hoping to catch a glimpse of their figure. That extra spark of joy when it was your joke that made them laugh.
Or, at least, thatâs what you used to think.
Now when you think of Min Yoongi, you think of a friend. Someone you care about. Someone you appreciate. Someone you love⊠but arenât in love with.
The events of last Friday night might very well be the reason for the sudden, drastic change in your heart. Maybe youâve finally developed enough self-respect to stop chasing after someone who clearly doesnât want you in that way.
You ignore the voice in the back of your mind that snarkily whispers, âYeah, just⊠like⊠ten years late, honey.â
But, still. You arenât 100% sure. And itâs driving you fucking mad.
Sure, you could just chalk it up to you being so hurt that the pain, you donât know, numbed itself out?
But that wouldnât be honest.
You know yourself. Youâre an over-planner, an overthinker, and maybe (most definitely) an overreactor.
Over the years, youâd curated a long, arduous list of ways you thought youâd handle Yoongiâs rejection when the time inevitably came, hoping to better prepare yourself for it.
But not caring? Yeah, that wasnât on the list. It wasnât even in the fucking notebook.
You arenât going to say that youâre unhappy about not being a weepy ball of tears and snot for an entire month, (which was on the listâquite high on it, in fact) but you just canât help but be completely puzzled.
This isnât you. You donât⊠not care.
If thereâs one thing youâve always done, itâs care.
So, you canât, for the life of you, figure out why you donât.
"Caramel coffee frappĂ© for Jeon Jungâhuh?" you pause mid-callout, glancing up as the name on the cup registers in your brain. Your eyes land on your best friend, standing close on the other side of the pick-up counter.
"Hi, bug." Jungkook smiles softly, his hand already reaching for the drink thatâs frozen in midair as you blink at him in surprise.
"Hi, Gukkie," you grin, the surprise melting into delight as you grab a paper straw from beside you and unwrap it for him. "What are you doing here? I donât finish until four."
He shrugs, taking the straw from your outstretched hand and popping it into the cup. "Bored at home," he says, taking a long sip. "Thought Iâd come early andâmmm, shit, bug, this is nice."
Your eyes crinkle in satisfaction as you watch him down almost a quarter of the frappĂ© in one go. "I told you itâs the best drink we have," you nod knowingly, before a small frown starts to form. "But itâs not your usual, so I didnât know it was yours⊠Shouldâve told me you were here so I couldâve added my discount, Gukkie."
Jungkook just keeps drinking, hoping the brain freeze would distract him from the urge to reach across the counter and wipe the pretty little pout from your lips. "They gave it to me anyway," he mumbles around the straw. "Didnât even ask."
And he wouldnât have. Jungkook has moneyâand plenty of it. More than heâll ever actually need. But itâs mostly blood money from his guilty father, which he has no problem in taking it without so much as a thank you. You know all this, yet you still badger him to use your 25% staff discount whenever he visits you at work. Cute.
You smile at that, glancing over at the register where Bellaâs back from her break. She knows Jungkookâs with you, so it mustâve been her who added the discount. "Good. Iâm glad," you hum, leaning against the counter, chin resting on your hand as you look at him. "What are you going to do? Itâs only two-thirty."
Jungkook grabs a complimentary caramel drizzle bottle, aiming it over his cup. He probably doesnât mean to be so roughâitâs just that heâs naturally strongâand you watch as nearly half the bottle spurts into his drink with one squeeze. âIâll just hang out here until youâre done. Got any breaks left?â
You laugh, reaching over and grabbing the bottle from him. "Youâre gonna get a stomachache, Gukkie." Shaking your head, you roll your eyes. "But yeah. One left. Iâll take it now?"
Jungkook scoops up some of the caramel with his straw, a slight smirk on his lips as he shoves it in his mouth. "Okay," he nods, gesturing toward the door with his head. "Come out for a smoke?"
The cool breeze is a gorgeous contrast to the warm, stuffy air behind the coffee bar as you burst through the door of the campus café. Jungkook holds it open for you, and as your shoe hits the pavement, you instinctively grab his hand, pulling him along with you.
Itâs only another twenty seconds before you reach the secluded smokerâs spot near the outdoor stock corral. Leaning against the wall, you plop to the ground and giggle when Jungkook pretends to get yanked down with you, falling beside you with exaggerated force.
You shift into a criss-cross legged position, letting go of his hand so he can dig his lighter from his hoodie pocket. His shoulder becomes your makeshift pillow as you curl your right arm with his left, watching as he sparks the cigarette that dangles from his lips. Once the cherry glows red, he shoves the lighter away and rests his hand gently on your knee.
âHowâs your shift going?â Jungkook asks, smoke curling from his mouth as he tilts his head away from you to blow it out of your direction.
âGood, itâs kinda quiet today,â you hum softly, eyes drifting shut. The mix of tobacco and HermĂšs cologne definitely shouldnât make you feel so peaceful. But on him, it does.
âGood.â He nods, his gaze raking over you properly now that youâve shrugged off your apron. Light-washed jeans, a little white singlet, black cotton cardi. He takes a deep drag of the cigarette, letting the smoke linger in his lungs before he comments, âLook so pretty today, bug.â
Your eyes flutter open as you blink up at him, beaming. âReally?â
He nods, holding the cigarette away with his right hand as he reaches over to tug gently at the cardigan with his left. âThis new? Sânice.â
"It is," you nod happily, leaning back and twisting a little to show it off to him. He bites back a smile. âJust came yesterday. It's from my online Polly order. Remember?â
âMhm,â he says, slipping an arm around you as you settle back into his side. A comfy silence stretches until you break it.
âDonât wanna go to Yoongi and Jiaâs tonight,â you murmur, your voice low, strained. The calm on your face shifts into something more pained, and Jungkook doesn't like that.
âThen we wonât,â he responds easily, tilting his chin up to exhale the smoke away from your face. âMovie night?â
You let out a sad sigh, head tilting up in time to catch the way the muscle in his jaw moves as he exhales. âAlready canceled yesterday. If we do it again today, Jia will know somethingâs up.â
âSo?â Jungkook turns to you, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek as he looks down at your glossy eyes. âIâll call them. Tell them Iâm sick and you need to take care of me or something,â he shrugs, flicking the ash off the cigarette.
âYou think thatâll work?â You speak with a slight muffle as your cheek presses against his bicep.
âDonât care if it doesnât,â he replies honestly, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he watches you melt further into his hold.
You shake your head, amused, the motion shifting against his arm. âTheyâre our best friends, Gukkieââ
âYouâre my best friend,â he cuts you off simply, finishing the cigarette and tossing the stub into the makeshift ashtray nearby.
Your eyebrows scrunch at his stubbornness. âAnd youâre mine.â You roll your eyes, trying to keep the smile pulling at your lips under control. âBut you know what I meanâŠâ
Jungkook sniffs, the chill finally settling in now that the cigarette's heat is gone. âYeah, I know, bug. But you shouldnât have to feel like this about going over there. Yoongi put you in an awkward fucking position, even if he doesnât think so.â
You sigh again. âI feel like Iâm overreacting about all of this. He says she doesnât need to know, and maybeââ
âSuch a pussy,â Jungkook mutters, annoyance evident as his thumb continues rubbing slow circles on your knee.
You snort at his bluntness, leaning into his arm. âI wonât say anything as long as he doesnât want me to. But I canât face her. Not outside of school. If I do, I might just word vomit everything the second I see her.â
Jungkook rests his head against yours, crooning. âYeah, you do word vomit a lot.â
You close your eyes through a snicker, squeezing his arm teasingly. âHm, thanks, Gukkie.â
A few quiet moments pass. Jungkook nudges his nose gently against the top of your head, his voice low when he speaks again. âYou know youâre not âoverreactingâ at all, right? Yoongi is a piece of shit for what he did. And even someone like Jia deserves the whole truth.â
You ignore his jab at Jia, having triedâand failedâmany times to convince him that sheâs actually a good person. âYou keep acting like Yoongi did this all by himself, Gukkie. Iâm just as guilty as he is.â
Jungkook scoffs, shaking his head. âNot really.â
âYes, really,â you insist, poking his side gently. âIt was completely consensualââ
âIâm not just talking about the sex, bug,â Jungkook swallows hard, more than unenthusiastic about delving into the specifics of your night with Yoongi. One run-through was enoughâand even then, he barely held back the contents of his stomach.
âItâs everything else. Before and after. Telling you he loved you like it was some obligation when you admitted your feelings? Dropping the news about getting back with Jia how he did? Youâd been awake for five fucking minutes, bug. You were naked and vulnerable in his fucking bed.â
Jungkook pauses roughly to regain his composure, and you instinctively move closer, feeling his anger on your behalf. Youâre about to tell him heâs right, that you understand, but he isnât done.
âAnd then for him to not even give his girlfriend the bare fucking minimum of being able to make an informed decision about their relationship? Fucking coward. What if she doesnât want to stay with him after finding out? Heâll have already taken months of her life from her. Yoongi is prolonging the pain for everyone involved. And I donât know how long he intends to keep this shit going, but if Jia catches on, and she takes it out on you? Bug, Iâll fucking kill himââ
âGukkie,â you gently interrupt, shifting your arms from around his bicep to wrap around his waist instead.
As you hug him close, your legs shift to tangle with his because you know he likes the contact. His rigid muscles gradually begin to ease, and you settle against him with a soft sigh. âIâm so sorry, Gukkie. I shouldâve thought about what this might bring up for you.â
Although not an exact replica, the situation had similarities to what Jungkook witnessed in his childhood; his father being an unfaithful piece of shit to his mom.
It began with small actions like working late, claiming extra shifts on weekends... withholding the whole truth from his partner.
Jungkookâs mom, an amaing woman and a second to your own, stayed in the marriage for as long as she couldâfor Jungkook and his older brother, Jisung. But eventually, she realized leaving was the best thing she could do for them.
You were in your early teens when the Jeons temporarily moved in with your family until his parents settled their divorce and his mom found a new place for them to go.
Jungkookâs father, a powerful and successful proprietor, was his role model during his entire childhood, and when he lost that bond, it broke him.
Even though some of your best memories together came from that periodâsleepovers, movie marathons, him teaching you how to singâyou knew the divorce had a greater impact on Jungkook than he liked to let on.
However, he still likes to joke darkly that if he could relive those days with you, heâd go through the divorce all over again without hesitation. That always results in a wack in the arm from you.
Jungkook shakes his head and his lips part, no doubt to tell you not to apologize, you butt in again. âYouâre right, Gukkie. What Yoongi did, what heâs doing, itâs wrong.â His hand moves from your knees to curl around your shoulder, pulling you closer to his chest.
âOkay, this wonât just go away. Jia deserves to know.â You glance up at him to find his eyes already on you. âTonight?â
Jungkookâs gaze softens. He nods, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head, careful not to disturb your tidy bun. As you trace slow circles on his waist with your fingertips, he pulls out his phone and shows you the timeâ2:58pm. You gasp, scrambling to your feet.
Jungkook laughs, standing up and letting you drag him back toward the café, ready to take the blame from your shift manager, Jimin, for you being back fifteen minutes late. Park Jimin loves him, after all.
âBug! Kookie!â Jiaâs excited voice rings out from the room she shares with Yoongi as you and Jungkook step into the oh-so-familiar apartment.
Yoongi closes the door quietly behind you both, the hug he usually greets you with noticeably absent. Instead, he reaches out to clasp Jungkookâs hand in a brief bro-shake, which Jungkook returns half-heartedly, before Yoongi heads straight for the kitchen.
Jungkook watches Yoongiâs retreat with a slight furrow in his brow, his jaw tightening as he registers Yoongiâs failure to acknowledge you at all. When he looks over to you, you just shrug, not as bothered by his childish antics as you thought you would be.
After your shift ended, Jungkook drove you back to your place to grab a change of clothes. Then, you headed to his apartment so you could use his showerâthe one with the best fucking water pressure ever.
Your lease is up at the end of the year, and then you'll finally be moving into Jungkook's place.
Living on your own for senior year seemed like a good idea when you decided to move out of the dorms, but that novelty wore off real fucking fast. Being away from Jungkook was not ideal and you hated not being able to see him whenever you wanted. His dorm wasnât too far, but it was still on the other side of campus, and overnight visits to dorms of the opposite gender were prohibited.
Jungkook didnât care, of courseâhe snuck over anyway, stacking up a few too many strikes from student monitors and professors who caught him.
So, when you moved from the dorms into a your cute little flat, Jungkook did the same, finding one just a few minutes away. There were no free spaces at your building for him to take, so he told you to move into his insteadâthat plenty of apartments were available. But when you saw the rent price, you just laughed. You knew he had every intention of covering it anyway, but you couldn't do that to him, no matter how much you wanted to live together.
Thatâs why youâve been working more lately. Shifts at the campus cafĂ© during the week and extra hours at Seoul Cinema on weekends. With what youâve saved, plus a little help from your mom, youâll soon be moving in with your best friend and gaining 24/7 access to him and that gorgeous fucking shower.
Earlier, when you were about to step into the bathroom, you called Jia to confirm what time she wanted you guys over. Thatâs when she casually revealed that the plan for tonight had changedâthat everyone was heading to Joonieâs, your friend groupâs favorite club, instead.
Panic flared in your chest and you almost blurted everything to her right there on the phone. Sensing it, Jungkook took the phone from your hand, calmly telling Jia that youâd be there at nine before hanging up.
You poked at him for ending the call without letting her respond, but deep down, you were relieved. You knew you had to tell her everything in person. If not for the respect of your thirteen-year-long friendship, but because doing it over the phone just felt so cowardly.
You know telling her tonight, before you all head out to drink, is risky. She could blow up, scream, and tell you to fuck offâwhich youâre fully expectingâbut at least itâll be in the privacy of her own home.
So now, here you are, standing awkwardly in the apartment thatâs haunted your dreams for the past eight straight nights. Gone are your comfy pants and Jungkookâs warm hoodie. Instead, youâre squeezed into a black mini-skirt and a tight little top, wishing you were anywhere else in the world.
Deflated, you let Jungkook take the bottle of tequila from your arms as you make your way toward the room where Jia's still getting ready. The door is slightly ajar, and you give it a gentle knock.
âJi?â Your voice comes out quieter than you intended, so you clear your throat and take a cautious step inside when she tells you to come in. As soon as you catch sight of your beautiful best friend, a smile automatically paints your lips.
Donât cry, donât cry, donât cry.
âBuggy!â Jia grins, snapping the cap onto her eyeliner before tossing it aside and striding over to you. When the long-legged girl extends her arms for a hug, you embrace her tightly.
âHey, Ji. You look so good."
âYou too, babe. You wore red like I asked! God, we look so hot matching.â Jia smirks as she pulls away, letting her eyes roam over your outfit before tilting her head in thought.
You swallow, waiting patiently for her assessment. Usually, she finds one or two minor things that could be improved for your clubbing outfits, and you pray she doesnât find anything, because itâs a thirty-minute drive back to your place to make the adjustments.
Not that you think that tonight's plans will still go ahead after what youâre about to say.
To your surprise and relief, she nods in approval before turning back to her floor-length mirror. Jack Harlow plays lowly from her phone that rests on her dresser, and she hums along to it, fixing a few pieces of hair that have fallen out of place.
When youâre quiet for a long moment, something usually very out of the ordinary for you, Jia catches your eye in the mirror and her head tilts. âWhatâs wrong?â
You swallow. Your mouth opens. Then closes.
Jiaâs brows knit together as she turns away from the mirror to face you directly. âWhat is it, bug? Is it Yoongi?â
Your heart plummets. âWh-what?â
âHe told me you stayed over last Friday? After Kookie took me to my momâs?â Jia continues, her tone curious but confused. âSaid you thought you could handle his whiskey, and he didnât want to leave you on the couch, so you slept in our room. I almost didnât believe itâŠâ
âIââ you stammer.
âAs if youâd ever willingly touch that disgusting whiskey he drinks. You can barely handle soju.â Jia chuckles.
âHAH! Yeah, you know me! Canât handle my hard liquor⊠Would-would put me right on my ass!â
Jiaâs amused squint deepens as she eyes you closely. âYouâre acting weird.â She tilts her head with a teasing smile. âDid you have one of Kookieâs special cigarettes again? Because you know those areââ
âJia.â Fuck. Word vomit. Itâs happening. âI need toââ
âChange those shoes? I know, I was going to say something before, but you looked kinda sad⊠Hold on, Iâllââ
âNo, Jia. I have to tellââ
The bedroom door swings open before you can finish. The words die in your throat as you whip your head toward the entrance. Tears well in your eyes as you turn to see who it is. Out of the two most likely options it couldâve been, unfortunately, it is not the one you hoped it was.
Yoongi stands in the doorway, his expression unreadable as his gaze flickers between you and Jia. The tension in the room rises dramatically, but Jia remains unfazed.
âJagi,â Jia greets him with a bright, oblivious smile. âJust telling buggy how cute she looks in red. Doesnât she look amazing?â
Yoongi nods at Jia, but his eyes are locked on you. Thereâs guilt swimming in his gaze, but itâs overpowered by something stronger. Desperation.
Earlier today, after talking to Jia, you called Yoongi to confess that you couldnât keep it hidden anymore. That you were going to tell her tonight.
His reaction was beyond unhappy. After five minutes of him practically begging you to keep quiet, he abruptly ended the call when he realized you wouldnât change your mind.
âJagiya, can I borrow Y/N for a secââ
âNo.â The words leave your lips so firmly that youâre almost surprised.
Behind Yoongi, you catch sight of Jungkookâs approaching figure. His head tilts slightlyâhis nonverbal way of asking if youâre okay in situations where you guys canât speak. Ignoring Yoongiâs dejected look, you give Jungkook a small nod before turning back to Jia.
âWhatâs going on?â Jiaâs eyes dart between you and Yoongi. âWhy are you both acting so weird?â
âIâm so sorry, Jiaââ You begin, your voice shaking.
âY/N,â Yoongi pleads, but you refuse to look at him.
âYoongi, just give them some space, manââ
âDonât tell me what to fucking do, Kook,â Yoongi spits back, taking a further step into the bedroom.
Your brows furrow as your head snaps toward Yoongi. âDonât talk to him like that. Iâm telling herââ
âTell me what?â Jia huffs as she steps forward, and soon the couple are both staring at you with two very different strands of frustrated expressions.
Your heart pounds at both the lack of distance and the looks youâre receiving, but you push through. You can do this. âJi, on Fridayââ
âJagiya, wait, donât listeââ
Jungkookâs scoff cuts Yoongi off, and you can see both men getting more and more heated by the second. He doesnât take his eyes off Yoongi when he speaks to you. âBug, take Jia into the living room. I need to talk to Yoongi.â
Yoongi turns to glare at Jungkook. âStay the fuck out of this, Jeongguk.â
âOr what?â Jungkookâs reply is immediate, his brows raising as if he genuinely wanted to know the answer.
âY/N, just spit it out. What are you saying?â Jia demands, her voice rising with frustration.
âIââ
âDonât, Y/N,â Yoongi warns, stepping forward, but Jungkook stops him.
âStop fucking walking closer to her, Yoongiââ
âYou have no fucking right, Y/Nââ
âY/N, just tell meââ
âNo, Jagi, stopââ
âYoongi, fuck off! Just let her tell meââ
âI slept with him.â
All the noise in the room dies out at your words. Jungkook is standing beside you now, his arm brushing lightly against yours, but you can barely feel it. All you can feel is Jiaâs eyes on you, her expression completely unreadable.
Tears well up in your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. âI slept with Yoongi when Jeongguk was taking you to your momâs. Jia, you need to know how fucking sorry I am. I wasnât thinking straight, and-and it just happenedââ
âIt just happened?â Jiaâs voice cuts through your apology with a pitying laugh. Her eyes never leave yours, not even to glance at her boyfriend, whoâs running his hand through his hair roughly, his eyes red-rimmed. For someone who said it was so unimportant and didnât matter, he sure isnât acting like it.
âNo, Iâno. It didnât just happen. I did it. And I canât explain how fucking sorry I amââ
âYeah, you said that already,â Jia interrupts, her tone dismissive. Her gaze rakes over your body as though sheâs bored.
You stand there, struggling to find the right words. âI know I broke your trust, Jia, and Iâm so sââ
âIf you say youâre sorry one more time, bugâŠâ Jia rolls her eyes, brushing her hair back over her shoulder before turning to check her reflection in the mirror.
Your mouth snaps shut.
Whereâs the screaming? Whereâs the kicking you out of her apartment? Whereâs theâ
âWho initiated it?â Jiaâs tone is uninterested as she runs a finger gently around the edge of her slightly smudged lip liner.
You glance at Yoongi, but his eyes are glued to the floor. âI donât remember,â you admit quietly. The moment was a blurâhis confession had thrown you off balance. It couldâve been him, but maybe it was you.
Jia gives you a skeptical look through the mirror, as if she doesnât believe you, but then she turns to Yoongi. âWho initiated it, Jagi?â
As Yoongi hesitates, you feel Jungkookâs eyes on you again. You glance up at him, the boy who had been seething with anger just minutes ago, only to find him looking at you in concern. Blinking away the tears, you reach out to brush the back of his hand with your pinky finger.
âI did, Jagiya. Iâm sorry. I was hurt that you left me, and I needed to forget,â Yoongi finally says.
His explanation seems to bring some relief to Jiaâs face, and you brace yourself for the inevitable ache in your chest at his words. But it doesnât come. If anything, Jungkook is more affected by what he had to say, judging by the way his jaw tightens and his hand clenches into a fist beneath your pinky.
âOkay,â Jia nods at Yoongi before reaching for her clutch on the dresser. As she casually tucks her phone and keys inside, you glance over at Jungkook, your confusion evident, but the look he returns is calmâlike he expected this.
With a roll of her eyes, Jia glances back at the three of you. âDid you bring the tequila like I asked?â
When her eyes meet yours, you nod instinctively, trying your best to mask your unease. âYes. Itâs, um, in the kitchen. Jia, is everythingââ
âWe werenât together, Y/N. Itâs not like youâre still fucking⊠are you?â
âNo.â You choke instantly, almost shuddering at the thought.
âOkay, then. Letâs start pres and then go.â With that, Jia walks out of the room, leaving you standing there, completely dumbfounded.
This isnât what you were expecting.
Youâve never experienced Jiaâs anger firsthand, but youâve witnessed it many times before, and this is the last reaction you couldâve ever expected.
Maybe sheâs in shock, and itâll come ot later. Or maybe⊠maybe she really doesnât think itâs a big deal? Sheâs so incredible like that, so understanding.
The room stays quiet as Jungkook remains rooted beside you. Yoongi lets out a short sniffle before trailing after Jia without glancing at either of you. The door slams shut behind him, leaving you and Jungkook alone in his bedroom.
As soon as Yoongiâs gone, Jungkook turns to face you, the warmth of his body washing a sense of comfort over you that you donât deserve in the slightest.
âAre you alright, bug?â he asks carefully, his hand lifting to adjust the strap of your top that had shifted slightly across your shoulder.
âOf course Iâm okay. I just⊠I donât understand, sheâs not even mad at meââ
âGood. She shouldnât beââ
âWhat? Yes, she should, Jeongguk.â His brows furrow. âPlease, stop acting like I did nothing wrongââ
âYou think I didnât notice how you took all the blame when you were telling her?â
âIt doesnât matter how it came off, Jeongguk.â His expression tenses further. âIt doesnât matter how I sugar coat it. The fact is, we messed up. And sheâs so fucking nice that she didnât evenââ
âNice?â He almost scoffs, his lips twisting into a wry smile. âBug, did you really not see that response for what it truly was? Come onâŠâ
âWhat are you talking about?â You try to keep your voice down despite the door being closed and a random Drake song pounding through the walls. âYou saw the same thing I did! She barely even said anythingââ
âExactly. She barely said anything. Weâve known her for how many years? And when has Seong Jia ever not said something? Think about it, bug. Sheâs going to hold onto this and use it against youââ
âWhy do you always think the worst? Why do you think so poorly of herââ
âBecause I see the way she fucking treats you, Y/N!â Jungkook takes a step back, his voice rising as frustration pulses through him. âEven if you donât see it, I see it.â
Your eyes well up with tears, and you blink rapidly, trying to keep them at bay. In the fifteen years youâve known Jungkook, youâve only had two heated argumentsâthis being the third. And, though you push the thought aside, you canât ignore that all three fights were about Jia.
âThisâthis blind loyalty you have for me is flattering,â you mutter bitterly through your tears, âbut youâre wrong. Sheâs a good friend.â
âBlind loyalty?â He forces a laugh, incredulous. âThe only thing blind is you for not being able to tell when someoneâs treating you like shit!â
âYeah?â you scoff.
âYeah.â He nods mockingly, taking a step closer. âYou think you havenât earned my fucking loyalty?â
âOh, I know I have.â You cross your arms defensively. âIf Iâve earned anything, itâs your fucking loyalty! But you need to acknowledge that I can make mistakes tooââ
âI do acknowledge when you make mistakes.â
âNo, you donât, Jeongguk!â Your hands fly out in a frustrated gesture as he closes the distance between you even more. âYou didnât when I overfed your goldfish and it died from bloating! You didnât when I signed up for that People Magazine free trial using your card, and you got charged for an entire year! And now youâre doing it againââ
âThat shit doesnât matter, bug!â
âYouâre saying this doesnât matter?â
âNo, it doesnât.â
âHow could it possibly not matterââ
âBecause I know what it feels like to be so in love with somebody that it consumes you.â
Your mouth snaps shut. As Jungkook continues, his gaze remains fixed on you, but his eyes are distant. âThat any sign of that feeling truly being reciprocated would make you do unspeakable fucking things.â
The frustration coursing through your veins fizzles out, replaced by a sudden, painful wave of pure jealâconfusion.
âWhat?â It comes out as a whisper.
Jungkook doesnât answer, his eyes just continuing to trace the lines of your face.
âYou love somebody?â The bitterness in your tone is obvious, but you donât can't stop. âWe tell each other everything⊠and you didnât care to tell me that youâre in love with someone?â
His silence is so unsettling that it prompts a painful laugh from you. âOh, okay.â You give a sharp nod, âif thatâs how you want to be. Fine. Iâll just start keeping fucking secrets from you too, then.â
The lack of response from him only fuels the fire inside you, and before you can stop yourself, the words keep pouring out. âWhy arenât you saying anything? Why wouldnât you tell me? Is it someone from uni? What the fuck, Jeonggukââ
âItâs nobody you know.â
âIââ You stare at him, your eyes wide, disbelief flooding your system as your arms drop to your sides. âI know everyone you know!â
This time, you donât even try to stop the tears that are building behind your lashes from spilling over. But the fiery, sour feeling burning a hole in your gut is too strong, too raw, and youâre not ready to acknowledge what it might mean.
âIf you donât want to tell me, fine. But donât lie to me.â Your voice trembles at the end as you lift a shaky hand to wipe under your nose, choking back a sob as tears slip into your breath.
Jungkookâs expression softens as he takes a step forward, cautiously reaching out his hand to touch your arm.
He tries not to think that your reaction is anything but a best friend being upset that their best friend didnât tell them about an important part of their life.
He tries not to think that your reaction is because you canât stand to think of him being in love with someone else.
He tries not to think about how much every cell in his body has ignited at the thought of you being possessive of him. Jealous of the person heâs in love with.
But itâs hard. So fucking hard. Because all he can see is the pain in your eyes, the hurt etched across your face.
Such a sight would usually bring him to his knees and have him doing anything to make the pain go away. But now, as fucked up as it is, all he feels is hope. Hope that maybe the reason youâre so upset is because you feel the same way he does.
âIâve never lied to you, bug.â His voice is soft as he rubs up and down your bare arms gently.
âHm,â you croak, wiping more tears away. âUntil now.â
âUntil now,â Jungkook echoes quietly, lifting his hand to gently cup your cheek, his thumb brushing away the tears that won't fucking stop.
You donât know why youâre crying harder than you have in God knows how long. Why you donât push Jungkookâs hand away even though youâre mad at him. Why youâre even mad in the first place.
Well, like you said earlier: you are an overreactor.
But itâs not like you and Jungkook havenât had lovers in the past.
You had your first boyfriend last year, a sweet senior named Kim Taehyung. He was a great guyâkind, easygoing, gorgeous. He got along with most of your friends, and you were especially glad Jungkook liked him as his approval was the toughest to earn.
But something about Jungkook must have rubbed Taehyung the wrong way.
Before you and Tae officially started dating, youâd first met at a frat party that you attended with Jungkook as Yoongi and Jia had stayed in that night. The two of them got on super well, and you guys had even teamed up for beer pong together.
But after a few dates, and you eventually saying yes when he asked to go steady, things began to change.
Taehyung started asking you to sleep over at his frat more often, something you didn't really like to do (and something Jungkook certainly didn't like you doing either).
Soon, he was asking for details on which friends you were with whenever you hung out with someone. He even began to ask to switch to FaceTime calls when youâd mention specific names and leave out others.
At first, you didnât think much of it. Youâre a naturally clingy person too, so maybe it was just his way of showing he cared. But when he requested that you spend less time with just one friend in particular, that was where you drew the line.
It confused you, especially since youâd already cut back from spending all of your free time with Jungkook to about 40%, but he still wanted more. Youâd told Taehyung from the start that Jungkook was your best friend and a huge part of your life, that you guys have always been close. He had no problem with that. Well, in the beginning, at least.
Naturally, you told Jungkook about Taehyungâs request, and youâd never seen him so angry. You reassured him not to worry, that it all wasn't sitting well with you, that you'd be ending things soon.
Jungkook relaxed at that.
He also dropped to his knees that night and sent up a prayer to the Goddess that it was finally fucking over. But you didnât need to know that part.
As for Jungkook, heâs never been in relationship. He has been with two girls, though. Park Iseul and Cho Jiwon.
Iseul was great. You and her shared an Economics lecture, and you even used to sit next to her during classes.
Sheâd usually ask about Jungkook, and youâd give her updates, letting her know he was doing well. But whenever youâd try to pass on her messages to Jungkook, he would just refuse to hear them, asking you to stop sitting near her.
It seemed like Iseul picked up on the hint since she gradually found other seats during class, and so did you. You didnât mind; she was still super nice, but you did scold Jungkook for his behavior. He apologized, but only to you, not to her.
Your encounter with Cho Jiwon, however, was⊠different.
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âUhhhâŠâ
The voice caught you off guard, making you turn from shutting the door behind you. Sitting at Jungkookâs kitchen island with a bowl of muesli, was a female around your age. You glanced at your surroundings, then the key in your hand to make sure this was indeed your best friend's apartment. It was.
âOh, hello.â You greeted the pretty girl with a nod, adjusting the strap of your bag on your shoulder.
âHello?â she responded, confused. Her eyes roamed over your Seoul Cinema uniform before narrowing slightly. âWho are you?â
âIâm Y/N,â you responded quietly. Unsure of what to say or do, you hesitated. âAnd⊠um, you?â
âJiwon,â she replied, squinting a little. âAre you his girlfriend or something? Because he said he was single, but I shouldâve known; he literally stopped in the middle of sex last night to answer a textâŠâ Her voice trailed off as she tilted her head, âWait, what was your name again?â
You blinked, a frown edging onto your face for her. You opened your mouth to repeat yourself when Jungkook stumbled out of his bedroom, rubbing a sleepy hand over his face.
âBug?" He croaked, making his way toward you. "You okay? I was gonna come get you in a bit.â His bare chest was still warm as he wrapped his arms around you.
You pulled back from the hug with a quick apology. âSorry, I got ready early and just walked over,â you said, gesturing toward Jiwon, still munching on her cereal. âDidnât know you had someone over, though. I shouldâve texted. I can ask Taehyung to drop me off at work and we can reschedule?â
Jungkook looked down at you, confused, then followed your gaze to Jiwon, who was still seated at his kitchen counter. He blinked in surprise, as though he had only just registered her presence. âUhâŠare you okay?â
Your gaze snapped to his in surprise, and Jiwonâs expression turned sour. âWhat?â
âI thought you were leavingâŠâ Jungkookâs brows knitted in confusion, eyeing her attire, which consisted only of his t-shirt. He hated that you were seeing this. âDid you need money for an Uber?â
âJeongguk,â you frowned, shifting your bag on your shoulder as you glared at him. But Jiwon just rolled her eyes and scoffed.
âYou could do so much better, girl,â she sneered at you, tugging off Jungkookâs t-shirt and tossing it at him as she got up. He caught it with little reaction, watching indifferently as she headed toward his room in her bra and underwear.
You were about to nudge him to apologize when she reemerged in her dress a moment later, throwing a glare over her shoulder. âWay better than a lying cheater, anyway.â
You opened your mouth to clarify. âNo, Jiwon, weâre notââ
âYeah, okay. Thanks, Jihyo,â Jungkook cut in boredly. âSo, did you need money for that Uber?â
Your jaw dropped as you stared at him in utter disbelief while Jiwon just shook her head with a scoff. She angrily brushed past him and left, slamming the door behind her.
âJeongguk, that was so rude.â
Jungkook just shrugged, tipping her cereal down the disposal and rinsing the bowl. âBug, I already told her I had something to do in the morning and Iâd need her to leave by 8 if she wanted to stay over.â
âI wish you would've told me. I wouldnât have just barged in without calling first. That was so awkward.â
âYou never need to call when youâre coming over,â he gave you a look. âAnd it wasnât awkward.â He shrugged again, opening his dishwasher and putting the singular bowl and spoon in before starting a cycle.
âIt was a little awkward,â you murmured, sighing. âYou could have at least offered her a ride home.â
âOkay, okay, bug. Iâll repent for my sins later,â he nodded, walking over to slip your bag off your shoulder and set it on the couch. âYou okay, though? Whyâd you come over so early? I thought we were seeing the 10 o'clock movie since your shift starts at 1?â
You just shrugged, eyes shifting to the floor. Jungkookâs big hands cupped your face, gently tilting it up so you were looking at him. "Hm?" he prompted, squishing your cheeks slightly, coaxing your lips into a cute little pout.
When he let go enough for you to speak, you mumbled, âDunnoâŠhavenât seen you in a few days. Missed you.â
His brows knitted together, and his arms slid down to your waist, pulling you closer. âI missed you more, bug. Whatâs up, though? Did something happen?â
You exhaled, leaning into his chest as your arms wrapped around him. âNo, justâŠfeels weird not seeing you every day. I don't like it.â
His heart thumped at your words, and his fingers traced small circles along your back. âI get it. It's weird for me too. But your boyfriend probably doesn't like it very much, hm?â
You pulled back slightly to frown, âGukkieââ
âKidding,â he murmured with a soft chuckle, resting his head in the nape of your neck. He was most certainly not kidding. âIâm gonna shower, and then we can have some breakfast before we go, okay?â
You nodded, scratching his back a little as he pulled away, heading toward the bathroom while you settled on the couch to wait.
Breakfast was yummy. The movie was great. You and Taehyung broke up a week later.
âș âș âș
âCan you please tell me who it is?â you ask, looking up at him with a sniffle, feeling utterly defeated. You need to know.
Jungkook has never denied you when you ask him for something. Ever.
You would usually never take advantage of such a gift, but right now, youâre desperate. You know that this feeling wonât go away until he tells you. You need to know.
âI can.â His hand still rests on your cheek, his thumb pausing its soft caress as your tears finally stop. But even then, he doesnât meet your gaze, his eyes fixed somewhere on the lower part of your face.
âWill you?â you ask, trying to catch his eye, but his gaze remains fixed on the bottom half of your face.
âI will,â he confirms tensely, reluctantly lifting his eyes to meet yours. His irises are a little darker than usual. âBut I wonât tell you their name... I want you to guess for me, bug.â
Your brows furrow harshly, and you take a step back, not in the mood for games. But Jungkook immediately follows suit, as if he expected your movements. He easily closes the distance between you without losing the contact between your face and his hand.
âYouâre really playing with me right now? Seriously, Jeongââ
âSheâs the most beautiful person Iâve ever met in my entire life.â
Well, okay then.
You stop yourself from flinching, eyes snapping up to his to find them already locked on yours.
âSheâs so fucking funny. Makes me laugh harder than anyone else in the world. And she doesn't even try.â
Yep. Youâve heard enough.
You swallow hard and raise your hand in an attempt to stop him, your mind racing for words. The fingers of his free hand wrap easily around your risen palm, bringing it to rest flat against his chest.
âAll she has to do is walk in the room, and my heart beats so fucking hard that Iâm scared sheâs gonna hear it one day.â
You feel itâthe rapid thump of his heartbeat beneath your palm. Your breath catches in your throat, and when your eyes meet his, you try to look away from the intensity, but you canât.
No matter how foggy your vision becomes with tears, no matter how badly your hand trembles against his chest, no matter how hard it is to breathe with him looking at you like thatâyou canât look away.
âI check my phone every five fucking minutes when weâre apart, just to see if sheâs thinking about me like Iâm thinking about her.â
Jungkookâs figure becomes a watery, blurry blob because you refuse to blink, as if the millisecond that your eyes are closed will somehow cause you to miss something crucial.
âSheâs the first person I think of when I open my eyes in the morning,â he says quietly, âand the last when I fall asleep. Iâm reminded of her by every single fucking thing. Even a stupid little toy figurine that looks nothing like her.â
At that, something inside you snaps, and without a second thought, you shove his hands away from you. Before he can react, your hands slide up to the back of his neck, pulling him down and pressing his mouth firmly against yours. Your eyes fall shut at the warmth of his lips, and then it happens.
Bursts of color explode behind your closed eyelids, vibrant and electric, filling every corner of your mind.
A surge of relief sweeps through your veins, washing away every single thing that came before this moment in a wave of perfect clarity.
Your fingers tighten their grip on the back of his neck, feeling his surprise blend into pure pleasure. His hands slip to your sides as he pulls you closer, every muscle in his body loosening as he melts into the kiss. Itâs warm, soft, sweet. Your mouths are closed, eyes shut, simply savoring the feeling of being with the person you care about most in the entire world.
Youâre happy. Youâre relieved. And for the first time in the last eight days, youâre not confused in the slightest.
"Any guesses?" Jungkook murmurs against your lips as you pull back slightly for air.
You laugh through the tears that had spilled out before you kissed, as his hands lift from your hips to brush them away. "Hmm," you hum, leaning into his hand on your face, "Jia?"
âOoh, closeâŠâ He squints teasingly with a smirk, his thumb swiping away a tear that had fallen to your pouty lip. âJust think, like, five times less bitchy and ten times hotter.â
A watery laugh escapes you, and you fall forward, resting your forehead against his chest. You sniffle and shake your head. âI canât believe you just confessed your love for me in Yoongi and Jiaâs bedroom.â Jungkookâs soft chuckle fills the room, making your heart flutter. âThatâs such a you thing to do,â you add as you pull back to look up at him.
âYouâre not wrong,â he replies, his smile softening as he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead.
His hand finds yours, and he glances toward the door, a faint awareness in his eyes. Heâs not sure how many songs have played while youâve been holed up together, but itâs been long enough to raise suspicion. âCâmon, bug,â he murmurs, gently tugging you toward the door.
But your brows knit together as he tries to lead you out. âWhat?â
Jungkook turns back, his expression relaxed and a little curious. âHm?â
âIââ You pause, caught off guard by how casually he seems ready to move on. âYou donât want to talk about⊠things?â
His eyes glimmer with amusement as he steps closer. âThings?â
âYou just told me youâre in love with me, and kissed me, andâ"
âYou kissed me,â he teases softly, his lips quirking up when you glare at him with the cutest, slightly swollen pout.
âYou donât want me to⊠say anything? To say it back?â you ask quietly, letting him take your other hand into his hold so he has both of them, tugging you a little closer.
Jungkookâs tongue darts out to wet his lips, and your eyes track the movement, unable to forget the way they felt against yours. Heâs so close now that the heat of his body warms the space between you, the scent of his cologne mixed with the lingering smell of the cigarette he had on the drive over swirling around you.
âI didnât tell you for something in return, bug,â he says gently, his thumbs tracing slow circles over your knuckles. âI told you because you wanted to know,â he adds with a slight shrug, âand because I wanted you to know.â
The simplicity of his words takes you by surprise. Thereâs no pressure in his gaze, no expectation. Your heart aches in a way youâve never felt before.
âAnd if I want to say it back?â you whisper, eyes looking between his.
Jungkook does the same, looking for any trace of uncertainty in yours before asking quietly, "Do you mean it?"
âMore than I think I even understand,â the words tumble out before you can second-guess them.
"Then say it."
âIâm so in love with you, Gukkie,â you whisper instantly, as if it were a command, âI thought I knew what love was, but⊠youâre love. Everything about you, everything you do is love.â Jungkook swallows hard, his thumbs still tracing softly over your knuckles. âWeâre still so young, and thereâs so much more to do⊠But I want to do it all with you.â
âFucking hell, bug,â he mutters under his breath before his lips crash back into yours.
This kiss is deep, urgent, like heâs trying to tell you something through it.
And, god, Jungkook had always been a good storyteller.
Your hands slip free from his, finding the sides of his neck, grasping for balance as his hands slide to the small of your back, steadying you when you almost stumble.
Your fingers curl into the warm, strong muscles of his shoulders, and you return his kiss with the same intensity, the taste of him filling all of your senses. His lips feel warmer, smokier, like everything about him is more intense now. And in that moment, everything else just fades away.
When you part your lips, an ache for more already tugging at you, his tongue slips in like itâs been waiting the whole time. A soft, satisfied hum escapes you, and he mirrors it, his sound a little throatier as his tongue intertwines with yours.
Jungkookâs hands slide over youâyour sides, your hips, your backâas if heâs committing the feel of you to memory, like heâs afraid this is the only time heâll ever have the chance. The soft, wet sounds of your tongues moving together fill your ears, and you know that if you have any say in it, this will be far from the last time.
A low groan bubbles in Jungkookâs throat when you press yourself closer to him and his fingers instinctively tighten around your sides.
Then he hears it.
Jungkook pulls back quickly but carefully, his gaze lingering on yours as his hands smooth over your hair, fixing where his fingers had tousled it. His thumb brushes over your shoulder, adjusting the strap of your top that had slipped down again, while his other hand runs along the edge of your lips to fix your smudged lip gloss He licks his own lips to remove any residue and you pout, about to ask if heâs okay when the door swings open.
âHellooo? What's taking so long? The Uberâs here and the guys are already at Joonie's.â Jia bellows, raising her brows as she glances between the two of you. âCome on, you can pregame in the car.â
Jungkook looks at you, waiting. You nod at her, your fingers brushing against his as you step back, clearing your throat and tucking your hair behind your ear. âOkay, Ji, sorry. Weâre coming.â
She just nods, leaving the door open as she turns back to Yoongi, whoâs waiting with her jacket. He hands it over wordlessly before leading her outside.
Jungkookâs gaze lingers on you, quiet and searching. âYou sure you still want to go?â
You take a breath, nodding. âYeah, if Jia still wants me to come, itâs the least I can do. Do you still want to go?â
His lips press together for a second, but he nods, his hand sliding down to interlock with yours as you both walk out of the bedroom. He grabs his car keys from the counter on the way, but as you approach the door, a frown creases your forehead.
âYouâre not driving us, right, Gukkie?â you ask, eyeing the keys in his hand.
He glances down at you, a faintly amused smile touching his lips. âYeah, I am, bug. Why? Did you want to take the Uber with them?â
You shake your head, but the frown doesnât leave. âNo, but... youâre not gonna drink tonight?â
Jungkook shrugs lightly, giving your hand a gentle squeeze before he lets it go so you can grab your mini purse from the counter and slip it over your shoulder. He reclaims your hand when youâre done, guiding you out of the apartment. âNot tonight, bug.â
The sadness in your eyes makes him pause, and you glance up at him. âWhy? Is everything okay? I donât like drinking when you don't drink.â Your voice softens, lips forming a small pout as he presses the down arrow for the elevator.
He smiles at the sight, brushing his thumb over your knuckles. âI just wanted to drive you home, thatâs all, bug.â His smile turns slightly amused. âBut Iâll drink if you want to. You know Iâm always down to drink with you.â
Your face brightens, leaning into his side to give him a soft thank you. As the elevator dings open, your phone vibrates in your clutch. You pull it out and giggle at the screen, tilting it toward Jungkook. He rolls his eyes, his lips twitching as he ushers you inside the elevator when it reaches your floor.
[9:57pm] From: Ji HELLOOO???? oh my god get down here. this fucking freak is trying to charge us twice for making him wait like two minutes
The crisp night air envelopes you as soon as you and Jungkook step outside the apartment complex, refreshing your skin and helping to calm your racing mind.
When you had both arrived at Yoongi and Jia's earlier in the night, you received a very quizzical look from your best friend as you climbed out of his Jeep.
âč âč âč
You extended your hand, waiting for him to come around to your side of the car before intertwining your fingers. Instead of locking the car, he paused, glancing back through the windows as if searching for something.
âGukkie? You okay?â you asked, tilting your head at his hesitation. âI have your phone in my purse, remember?â
âBug, whereâs your jacket?â he asked, his brows furrowing as he looked over your outfit. He gave the Jeepâs seats another quick scan, hoping youâd just forgotten to grab it.
You shook your head, giving his hand a little tug to urge him forward. âI didnât bring one. Couldn't find one that worked with my outfit. Itâs okay, Gukkie, I'm not cold.â
But he didnât budge. âBugâŠâ he said with a sigh, eyes scanning the backseat to see if he had left one of his jackets in there that you could wear. Nothing.
âGukkie,â you laughed at the way his frown deepened, tugging his hand again. âYou donât have a jacket either, hm. Besides, thereâs a small chance weâre even going out tonight anyway...â
Your voice softened, and Jungkook paused, sighing as the urge to drive home and grab you a jacket waned a bit. He pressed the lock button on his key fob with reluctance and let you pull him along up the path to the building.
His free hand slid up your arm as you walked, checking that your skin was still warm. It was, luckily for you, or he would've been plopping you back in the passenger seat to go back and get you a coat no matter how much you complained.
Jungkook knew Jiaâs firm stance against jackets and outerwearâalways âruining the aesthetic" or something of the sort. He didnât really pay much attention to what she said unless it involved you, if he was being honest.
And the thought of you borrowing one of Yoongiâs didnât even get a chance to settle in his mind before he forced it far, far away.
âș âș âș
The scene with Jungkook in Jiaâs room replays over and over in your head, but thereâs a new lightness to it nowâa weight lifted, even though you know the lines between you have definitely blurred. Thereâs more to think about, maybe more to figure out, but as you glance up at Jungkookâs peaceful expression, you find that you donât mind it right now.
Reaching the end of the path, Yoongi hops out of the car and pulls the seat forward to let you into the back. âHi, sorry for the wait,â you apologize softly to the driver, offering a polite smile as Jungkook takes your purse. His hand settles warmly on your back, guiding you in as you climb into the backseat.
The driver just mutters something under his breath and waits as Jungkook slides in next to you. Yoongi settles back beside Jia, whoâs typing something on her phone, closing the door as the driver pulls out onto the road.
In the quiet hum of the car, you lean back, stealing a quick glance at Jungkook. He catches it, his lips quirking up as he shifts just a little closer, one hand slipping over yours where it rests on your lap. You turn your hand over and intertwine it with his, using your free hand to play with his fingers, tracing over the lines of his pretty tattoos. You rest your head on his shoulder, your eyes fluttering closed.
You canât wait to drink.
Itâs about twenty-five minutes later when you arrive at Joonieâs nightclub.
Jia had managed to convince the Uber driver to let you guys drink a little with the promise of a 50% tip, and as soon as he agreed, she swiftly pulled the bottle of tequila up from beneath her seat. She took a sip and handed it to Yoongi, who did the same before passing it to the back. Jungkook let you take a mouthful before he did, and you each took one more, his shots a little bigger than yours.
As you step inside, the music is loud, vibrating the ground as colored lights flicker across the floor. You spot the rest of your friends by a table in the corner, already clinking shot glasses together and throwing them back. When they see the four of you, their faces light up, and soon theyâre stumbling over for hugs and half-drunk hellos.
Jimin is the first to reach you, a bright grin spreading across his face as he wraps you in a tight hug, swaying you from side to side. âHi, angel! Gah, y'always look so pretty without an apron on! Good to see youâah, hey, Kook! Get over here, you big thing,â he beams, pulling away from you to bring Jungkook down into an equally enthusiastic hug.
âHey, Jimin-ah,â Jungkook responds, returning the hug and then straightening to stand by your side again.
Jimin stands there, his eyes raking over both of you for a moment before he lets out a sigh and gives something similar to a nod of approval.
You shake your head, laughing as you adjust your purse. âHow much have you had to drink already, Jiminie?â
âNot nearly enough,â he quips instantly, glancing back at the group where the others are ushering Jia and Yoongi over to their table. âAnd judging by the fact youâre not red as a tomato yet⊠neither have you. Come on,â he grins, grabbing both your arms and pulling you and Jungkook toward the rest of the group.
When you guys reach the circle, you exchange hugs and little hiii, I missed you's until you reach the last person at the table.
"Hey, Y/N," Taehyung greets, pulling you into a warm hug.
Blinking in surprise as you pull back, you smile. "Hey, Tae? I didnât know you were coming tonight. How are you?â
Taehyung nods, his hand resting casually on his beer. âYeah, been okay. You?â
âGood, thanks Tae,â you reply with a soft smile, stepping back beside Jungkook.
âOh, hey, Jungkook-ah, how are you, man?â Taehyung continues, extending a hand.
Jungkook takes it, and they do a little bro shake before he settles next to you again. âReally good, man, thanks,â he nods, glancing over the table before turning to you. âIâm gonna go get our drinks. Did y'want a long Island?â
Your eyes light up, and you nod, starting to walk with him to the bar when Valerie calls out, âY/N! Babe, come take a photo! The lighting is soo cute over here.â
You turn back around, âOne sec, Val, Iâm just going to grabââ
âItâs okay, bug. I wonât be long,â Jungkook says quietly, running his hand down your arm as you glance over at him.
âOh, okay.â You nod, looking up at him.
He raises his brows with an amused look when you don't move for a while. âGo on,â he nudges his head toward your friends, watching as you nod again with a cute smile and head over to Jia, Valerie, and Jimin. His gaze lingers as Yoongi takes the phone from Jia, and you all get ready to pose for the photos.
Sliding in next to Jia feels like second nature as your arm wraps around her waist, but as realization dawns, you quickly move to pull back, unsure if that's okay anymore.
Jia just rolls her eyes, grabbing your arm and placing it firmly back around her waist before leaning into you. The two of you settle in for the shot, and you smile, resting your head on her shoulder as the flash goes off, Yoongi snapping a bunch of photos of the four of you.
Once Jia finally deems the hundred pictures her boyfriend has taken as enough, your little group breaks away, with Jimin and Valerie immediately rushing over to review the results.
You start to follow them but pause when you catch sight of Taehyung at the end of the table, sitting alone and staring at his beer. You frown, looking around for Hoseok and Jin, but they seem to have wandered off, leaving him by himself.
You slide into the seat beside him. âHey,â you greet, and Taehyung looks up, returning a small smile. "You okay?"
âHey,â he chuckles lightly. âYeah, why, do I look all depressed and lonely right now?â
With a grin, you pick up the tiny umbrella from an empty glass nearby, twirling it in your fingers. âNo. Just a little alone,â you hum. âWhere did Jin and Hobi go?â
âOut for a smoke,â Taehyung answers, his eyes lingering on you for a second before glancing back at his drink. Just as youâre about to ask if he wants another beer since his looks low, Jungkook arrives back at the table.
He sets your drink in front of you, still holding his own glass, and pulls up a chair beside you. âThanks, Gukkie,â you smile, pulling the cup toward you to take a sip.
Jungkook gives you a little nod, resting a hand on your leg. His gaze shifts, noticing how Taehyungâs eyes follow the movement of your mouth as you wrap your lips around the straw. Jungkookâs tongue flicks over his lips before he takes a silent mouthful of his drink, watching as the two of you chat.
It's not long before Jimin brings over a large tray to the table, all your friends cheering in excitement as he sets it down with a grin.
"Shots!"
âShit, bug, wait, watch your step, I justââ
Jungkookâs warning doesnât reach your inebriated brain in time, and you stumble over the step he nearly tripped on himself, letting out a little curse. Before you can fall forward, his arms are already around you, pulling you back upright.
âGukkie,â you whine, âwhy did you push me?â you grumble, your cheeks rosy from the endless shots Jimin kept feeding you and the lingering heat of the dance floor you two had been on all night.
Not that youâll remember most of this tomorrow, considering you went over your limit about two Long Island iced teas ago, but tonight was one of the best nights youâve had in a very long time.
Jia mostly clung to Valerie for the night, but that didnât matterâyou and Jungkook had more than enough fun on your own. Jimin even took Taehyung under his wing, and the four of you ended up spinning around on the dance floor after you convinced Jungkook to join in too. Heâs so good at it, youâve never understood why he doesnât dance more often, but he indulged you tonight. And it was so fucking amazing.
âI didnât push you, bug,â he grumbles back, holding you steady as he blinks, trying to get his own hazy vision under control.
If you went past your limit, Jungkook went double down. He can handle his alcoholâmuch better than you, at leastâbut you guys were having so much fun, and he loves drinking with you, so he went all out. When you took a shot, he took two. When you stood in front of him, lifting a cup to his lips with a sweet, urging little smile, who the fuck was he to say no?
âGukkie, whereâs your car?â you ask, squinting up the street, arm looping through his as you both stagger down the sidewalk. The chilly night air nips at your bare legs, but the warmth of the alcohol keeps it at bay as you rest your head lazily on his bicep.
âUhh,â Jungkook mutters, scanning the line of parked cars as he tries to spot his Jeep. âI dunno, baby. Letâs just walk home.â
You nod in agreement, too tipsy to consider that the walk back to either of your apartments would take at least an hourâprobably more, but you donât care. Right now, it feels like you could walk for miles, just like this.
âOkay, butââ you trail off, eyes drifting as he stops running his hand over the one of yours clinging to his bicep. He turns to you with a little frown. âBut what? D'you want to take your heels off?â
You blink up at him, the blur of alcohol softening everything but his face, his features as clear and pretty as ever. âYou called me baby,â you say, a wide, drunk grin lighting up your face as you gaze up at him, utterly enchanted.
Jungkookâs brows knit together in confusion. He glances forward to ensure you both donât veer into anything, then looks back down at you. âWhat, bug?â
âYou called me baby,â you repeat, leaning your head against his arm with a happy squeeze. âGosh, Gukkie, I hope I remember this when I wake up.â
Jungkook blinks a little at that, turning his head to face the path in front of him as you both keep walking. Did he call you baby? It mustâve just slipped out. Heâs never called anyone thatânot even while drunk, as far as he knows. The thought lingers for a moment, but when Jungkook feels you shiver slightly and yawn against his arm, thatâs all it takes for him to have his first sober thought since his umpteenth vodka shot.
âBug,â he says, pulling you to a gentle stop, his gaze drifting over your goosebump-covered legs and sleepy eyes. You blink up at him, a soft, confused smile lifting your lips as you glance around, wondering why youâve stopped. âI need to get us an Uber,â Jungkook murmurs, rubbing his hands over your cold arms to warm you. âCome sit with me. Gonna order it.â
He looks around for a seat, but there isnât one in sight, so he guides you to the curb and sits down, holding his arms open as you step in front of him and plop between his legs. Making sure you're settled, he pulls out his phone, blinking hard to try and get the numbers on the screen to stay still enough to punch in his passcode.
You lean back into his hold, his free arm wrapping around your stomach as your eyes flutter shut, your fingers tracing softly over the inked patterns on his arm. âSo warm,â you mumble, lost in the feel of his skin against yours.
Jungkook tilts his head a little as you lean further into him, the tip of your nose brushing against his neck. He swallows, his pulse quickening as he tries to focus on ordering the Uber to your place.
âHow are you so warm everywhere?â you sigh dreamily, letting your nose drift up the length of his neck, fingers still tracing along his arm. Jungkookâs breath catches, but he manages to confirm the ride and lock his phone, his other arm wrapping around you, quietly pulling you snug against his chest.
"Can I kiss your neck, Gukkie?"
Jungkookâs eyes shut at your words, every fiber in him reacting to you as he swallows hard. âJust a little, bug. Our uber isnât far.â
The slight tilt of his head is all the encouragement you need, and you press a gentle, lingering kiss to his nape, his Adamâs apple bobbing as he swallows again. Drawn in by the pretty sight, your mouth latches onto his neck, tasting the warmth of his skin.
âBug,â he croaks, his voice shaky as your lips press more purposefully, your soft touch just a bit more intentional. âBug, câmon, baby, not too much. Youâre drunk, Iââ His breathing deepens as your tongue traces a warm, wet line over his skin, his hands tightening on your sides as he exhales shakily.
Your lips find a soft spot at the base of his neck, and he lets out another unsteady breath, his body responding without his consent. Humming happily, you let yourself sink into the feeling a little longer before pulling back and admiring your handiwork. Itâs not enough to leave a mark, just a faint warmth thatâll fade, but itâs still so pretty. You press one last gentle kiss to the spot before turning back around, leaning contentedly back against his chest.
âThanks, Gukkie. I like the way your skin tastes,â you smile with your eyes closed, settling your hands over his arms around you, the honesty in your words amplified by the haze of the alcohol.
âGod, bug,â Jungkook mumbles once he catches his breath, his fingers running lightly up and down your waist as he adjusts the hem of your top, covering you when it rides up a little. âSo cute.â
He watches as a soft, pretty smile curves your lips, eyes still closed as you practically purr into him at his comment.
So. Fucking. Cute.
Jungkook rests his head in the crook of your neck, which is bared just for him. Your head lolls back as you sleepily begin to curl into his embrace. âSo pretty,â he breathes into your skin, pressing a light little kiss as he inhales as much of your scent as possible.
Heâs kissed you plenty of timesâon your forehead, your cheeks, even twice on your fucking lips earlier tonight. But heâs never kissed your neck before.
And itâs addicting.
The aroma of your vanilla-creme body wash mixed with the Miss Dior perfume he buys you for your birthdaysâfuck. He could lick it off every inch of your body if youâd let him.
But not tonight.
He knows you get extra touchy with him when youâre drunk, and, yeah, he does with you too. Thatâs just how you two have always been. But itâs usually just longer cuddles, sitting closer than normal, not leaving each other's side for more than a few minutes.
Youâve never done that to him before.
Maybe itâs because, however intoxicated you may be, your brain recognizes the shift between the two of you from earlier at Yoongi and Jiaâs.
God, he fucking hopes so.
Jungkook prays that youâll remember kissing him tomorrow, even if youâre dazed from the alcohol. Because he is too. But, somehow, he'll make sure he remembers every single second.
the rest of the fic is available in this reblog đ©·