I Need To Keep My Joy In Mind When I Write Or Alter. I've Let My Thoughts To Fool Me.

No extravagant words. No description. I just feel confused and lost. Maybe that's a good thing. I'll find my way back somehow... Some way.

—Today.

I am as my mind perceives me to be. I am as incomprehensible to the rest of the world. I am, as one would expect.

Uncharted territory, judging myself based on previous decisions—leaving little to no margin for error. However, I am not worried by such things today.

I'll discover or have discovered what it means to be at peace. I'll learn about peace's inorganic methods. You'll have no trouble beginning over.

Have no reason to cry, but may all tears be joyful. My palms, eyes, tongue, and mind will all ring loud and clear.

𝐈𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧—

Lonely thoughts of yesterday— will come back to haunt you. Memories of the future, will creep in. Isolation, desolation —captivation. These shall be of things that you can be proud of. You may not be alone, but you are still alone.

And where does the soul reside? Where do you think it lives? What kind of environment do you think it thrives in? Would you say it thrives in solitude? Or perhaps when we're abandoned? That doesn’t sound like a very satisfying answer. But what about when we're completely isolated? We've become so lonely. We've become so disconnected from ourselves. Do we need this much silence? We lose sight of the beauty around us— the beauty in us. And what happens when there isn't enough of ourselves around to remind us? When there aren't any voices left to tell us otherwise?

In solitude; alone, then you may feel like your loneliness is overwhelming. Or does it us the strength to face loneliness and still be happy? To exist is hard. You need energy, a soul—find it, in isolation.

I should know better. To be a fool is one thing...but to be a fool and expect love? Tragic. And just like that, square one has returned. Guard up. Hopes limited and neither sad or angry this time. To wish is to be left hopeless, to dream is to be hurt; and hurt? That's life. Expect nothing and everything.

𝑀𝑦 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑢𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑖𝑐 𝑎𝑐𝑖𝑑. 𝐴 𝑐𝑙𝑢𝑚𝑝 𝑜𝑓 𝑐𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑠. 𝐿𝑒𝑡'𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟. 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑢𝑛𝒉𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑑. 𝑌𝑒𝑎𝒉, 𝑡𝒉𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑. 𝑆𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑡'𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑡𝒉𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑡𝒉𝑎𝑡. 𝐼 𝑎𝑚... 𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑? 𝐷𝑖𝑑 𝐼 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑡𝒉𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒? 𝑁𝑜𝑝𝑒. 𝐴𝒉, 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝒉. 𝑌𝑒𝑎𝒉, 𝐼'𝑚 𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑. 𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑏𝑦 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐.

how to disappear completely and never be found again

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider Press Conference, 2001

𝐀𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬. 𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞. 𝐒𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞.

Ja. Einzigartig. Das uralte Gedichtgerät. Schön.

Auroras glow above Jupiter and moon, 1981

Ron Miller

Angelina Jolie by Michel Bourquard; 1994