TERFS, don't interact. Transfeminine system.
94 posts
Latest Posts by jonahs-human13 - Page 2
When the joke goes too far and you end up a girl
This breaks my heart wide open
i like to pretend i already died and asked god to send me back to earth so i can swim in lakes again and see mountains and get my heart broken and love my friends and cry so hard in the bathroom and go grocery shopping 1,000 more times. and that i promised i would never forget the miracle of being here
The thrilling threquel: "have you tried yoga? Walking? Or what about livelaugloving?"
“if you take medication for that, you’ll be taking medication all your life!!” yeah, and?? bud, i already put on my glasses every morning. it’s like. a condition of mine, not a side hobby i’m pursuing irresponsibly.
You are not what happened to you. You didn't deserve to go through all that. You deserved to be loved, to feel safe, to be safe. You deserved kindness. Patience. You deserved better.
We really gotta realize on a large scale that the “brain is finished developing at 25″ is not just a misconception, it’s a deliberate lie that is being spread to attack young people, take their rights away and justify the abuse they are constantly targeted by as a feature of our society, not a bug. And to see queer people parrot this bullshit to win internet arguments with 16y/os while it’s being used to make hrt illegal for people under 25 is, and I don’t say this lightly, nazbols trying to pass as leftists levels of intellectual dishonesty.
not everything has to be productive. you are allowed to be a little silly and goofy. you are allowed to rest. take some time for yourself today. there is so much more to life than work, and you deserve to experience it. feel the sun on your face, stretch your body, call a friend, have a little fun. your work will not suffer for it & will be there when you’ve had some time.
Recovery isn’t linear, so please don’t beat yourself up for having a setback. You’re going in the right direction. You can do this, no matter how bad the bad days feel.
Normalize not wanting a professional diagnosis, especially for stigmatized disorders.
if you are distressed about not receiving a response from someone you'd like to be actively talking to, you have to take a moment. step back from the conversation, put yourself in their shoes. perhaps they're busy with something right now. you have to consider the possibility that maybe they hanging upside down by their ankle. everybody has their own schedule, and sometimes people spend time away from their phone or computer because they are currently suspended from a tree branch by a rope tied around their ankle that they unnoticingly stepped in because it was concealed by a pile of leafs. it's not that they don't want to respond; imagine that they can see their phone screen on the ground below but it's a good few inches out of reach and even if they bounce and flail on the branch their fingertips just can't touch it. sometimes life gets in the way
gentle reminders in case you need it:
it’s ok to start “late”
drink water if you haven’t for hours
it’s ok if u need more time than other people
it’s ok to feel what you’re feeling
you have a cute smile
you make people happy
you have plenty of good traits
you are loved
you deserve all the good things
it’s ok if you relapse, it doesn’t make u weak
bad days are just temporary
tomorrow is a new day
you can heal again
I’m proud of you
this post hasn't left my mind since i've first saw it
if you find it hard to make close friends, i still recommend you do socialise a little. hangout with your classmates if they invite you, go to places, a little bit of human interaction everyday will keep you sane and make sure you are out of your head
Your exhaustion is not shameful. It is not a moral failure to be physically, mentally or emotionally tired. It is okay to be overwhelmed. You're not inferior to anyone just because it's hard for you to keep up with a fast-paced life.
teens want lana del rey, NOT jesus!!!!!!!!
It’s tough to widdle this one down into 4 panels, but I figured I’d write about this one as well. I think “Guessing who’s out” could be a comic in its own right really.
I as a system do not expect people to always know who’s out! That’s not the point of this.
In my experience (and this may vary for others), if you think there’s been a switch, making sure the one in the front is okay before delving into who’s out is priority. That way if something was a trigger, the alter fronting can be grounded before handling the topic.
Systems are always encouraged to add input.
Me and my Twin 💀💀
Attractive Placements in Astrology ׂᨘ ‣ ♥️🔥
Sun in 1H, 5H, 7H, 10H and 11H.
Sun in 1H shines brightly, others can notice this energy and feel drawn to them, these people can also be very comforting people, these people can often that beautiful smiles. Sun 5H individuals are creative, these people have talent and others see that, making them drawn to them, these people can also be the the life of the party. Sun in 7H individuals are caring, and respectful people, can be in tune with others emotions, people feel comfortable in their presence. Sun in 10H and 11H, similar to 1H and 5h, people are naturally drawn to these people, theyre exciting to be around and ca be very social individuals (bonus if placed in Aries, Libra, Capricorn and Cancer).
Moon/Venus/Neptune in 1H, 5H and 11H. I don't even have to explain, these people are simply naturally magnetic, they typically have looks of a model, when they walk into a room they turn heads, also very creative people and can be very in tune with their emotions.
Underrated but Pisces Mars. These people may have a subtle presence but they always seemed to be noticed from afar. Believe it or not these people can also seem very mysterious, people tend to be so curious about their lives, theyre drawn to them. Very sensual and loving individuals, gotta love them.
Mars in Capricorn, esp in women. Very and I mean very assertive people, these individuals tend to have a confident energy and they make it known to the people around them.
Mars in Scorpio. Similar to Pisces, these people are alluring, they're very strong willed people, with a hint of mystery. Very attractive individuals.
Mercury-Sun/Venus/Moon positive aspects, these people have a beautiful way of communicating and may have an expressive or soft voice, people also may be attracted to them because of how understanding these people are. Bonus if placed in 1H.
Venus in Aquarius. May be an unpopular opinion ☠️, but these people are very original and loving towards their friends. These individuals attract others by their very original and unique personality. These individuals may also have a unique style.
Prominent Sagittarius, Aries and Gemini placements. These people have a playful and flirtatious personality. People are often drawn to them, through them being high energy and full of life and fun. Very attractive individuals.
May make a Part 2 soon, but for now I hope you enjoyed 🔥♥️
nervous system? it sure is!
Why do neurotypical people have all these unspoken rules. Why is it considered proper social interaction to be fake. They’re so weird
I’m so tired of not being connected to reality dude. I just want to remember things with cohesion and clarity. I wanna feel real and alive
i want people to know, people with mental health disorders and not alike, that someone can have a mental illness and be aware of their mental illness.
idk why so many people dismiss the voices of people or activists who have mental disorders because they're able to (at least for the most part) understand their symptoms and live with it.
and vise versa, getting upset at people who are unaware of their symptoms and/or detached from reality because of them, expecting them to do better when they obviously can't or don't know how.
ultimately we're just sick of seeing ableism with mental illnesses that are always either "yOuR fAkINg lOl" or "you need to literally be locked away and sedated". and said ableism effecting how people with mental health disorders are treated and how they treat themselves.
if someone is saying your faking, you aren't. faking is a consious effort and your needs matter just as much as the extreme cases.
if they say you're "crazy" or "broken", you aren't. you just need extra love and care. you are hurting and it's okay to hurt and need help, there's nothing wrong with you to need that.
-🦷 & ❄️
All of this.
We knew we had ADHDbrain *long* before diagnosis.
We knew we had BPD *long* before even all the symptoms were showing.
We knew we even were Multiple v. early on (but were gaslit by psychiatry).
You know you better than anyone else.
Gatekeeping culture is like: “don’t get your information online it’s too easy😡!!!” Then offer “find research papers online it’s really easy🙄”
Then block you.
Self diagnosing isn’t TikTok videos and random blogs. It’s literally months to years of research. There’s a lot of reasons why someone can’t get professionally diagnosed.
Misdiagnoses happen a lot
People aren’t taken seriously
It’s expensive asf
Its inaccessible
People want to adopt
People want the right to their bodily autonomy
I’m disappointed when I go online and see my bullies are now nurses. That’s kinda the same thing when I go on here and see professionally diagnosed people who shit on undiagnosed for posting coping mechanisms.
Stop calling people “the problem” for coping. The real issue is people who post any “if you have these… you might have” THATS DANGEROUS. what isn’t dangerous is:
Finding coping mechanisms
Find organization tools to function
Therapy
Talking about experiences
Researching extensively on traits
Documenting
Unmasking
Printing off quizzes or research articles from well established resources (Embracing Autism, ASAN, AIM, awn network, A4A)
Stimming (if it isn’t harming)
Advocating for diagnosis is one thing. Being a bully online is another. It’s a disability not a quirk, a lot of self diagnosed people know it’s a disability. We can identify the actual problems in the self diagnosing community but a lot of us aren’t those.
We’re valid
Is there any evidence beyond anecdotal that systems with ADHD/autistic systems are more likely to be "fictive-heavy" due to having special interests? I've seen that claim floating around tumblr as if its medical fact, and it feels very strangely infantilizing, as if having ADHD/autism makes one inherently more fantasy-prone. Have professionals even written about "fictive-heavy" systems? Most literature I've read mentions fictional introjects in general as, maybe, a footnote at best.
Anon, I feel like you're coming at this from the wrong angle. Being autistic or having ADHD does lend to hyperfixations, including fiction. This is not the same as being fantasy prone, nor does it negate the legitimacy of DID or introjects. MANY aspects of DID/OSDD are still underresearched. Lack of more documentation of fictives in professional literature does not make them any less real or prevalent.
As to whether this is more common in autistic/ADHD systems, I don't know for sure. It's not something I could prove to you with stats; though the logic and reasoning follows.
I don't think it is at ALL infantalizing to note that fictives seem more common in these systems due to hyperfixations on fiction/media. To say so would indicate that fictives in general have a negative connotation or are something to be looked down upon which is simply not true.
Input and discussion on any/all questions is encouraged.
Hi! I know you don't know me but my bf suffers from did and has only recently realized this and started treatment. Older alters of his say that there used to be an inner world and one even told me that they think a 'system collapse' has happened, so I guess my question is what all information can you offer me to understand and help him get his inner world back and restore any communication at all with his alters. Thanks in advance! And sorry if I'm being rude!
hi, i am in no way an expert in innerworlds so this may be a bit tough for me to answer. i can give you what i have though.
i’m also not sure about what a system collapse is, but i know innerworlds can sometimes be less accessible to certain alters or can be harder to get to when something causes an increase in dissociative barriers. i’d try to figure out if there’s something that might have triggered this lack of communication to happen and try to figure out how to deal with it or cope with what’s going on. if ur bf has a therapist, it would be good to talk to them about it, even if it’s not about the did/innerworld disappearance, but about what most likely was the cause. if it has to do with undiscovered trauma tho, he should not go digging into that.
he could try reaching out in his mind to specific alters, see if they’ll respond. he could also try to build an innerworld manually; not all innerworlds automatically exist, some are made. i have a few pictures on my phone from a post i saw maybe a year ago with some innerworld building tips. here they are:
also, i recently made a post on system communication and journaling for summer system education week. it’s got a lot of tips and resources to go with them. here’s the post
hope this helps, i wish u and ur bf good luck with this
FOR REAL
(and slight trigger here IG)
In the past, when I-or whatever headmate was fronting at the time-used to used Tumblr, 90% of that very specific time..I was v. NOT sober. But-in that (minus the random mood swings), I was kind of bowled away by the sheer COOLNESS of content, because ...it felt like, PEOPLE THINK LIKE ME.
The other thing I thought was interesting was that I would sort of compile this phase work (of trauma), and voraciously research (somehow intuitively I knew how to seek out what information we needed whenever) topics about how to approach things. I gotta talk it over with the Gatekeepers I think, maybe see if we can access that data.
ok this thought is undercooked and i don’t have my adhd meds so bear with me but i think the reason why neurodivergents are drawn to this site is more or less because the world feels random to us, like everyone else got a manual for Socializing 101 and we didn’t, and so we don’t really know how to fit in or follow the general neurotypical code of conduct or the rules of social exchanges and it can feel isolating and overwhelming. but on tumblr chaos is the norm. like there aren’t any rules here, you don’t have to abide by standard social laws. it feels natural and genuinely enjoyable as a form of social media because we can revel in our weirdness and not be judged (at least not in a way that bears any weight) because we’re on tumblr, we’re all weird here. i think this is also why NDs typically find chaotic jokes funny as opposed to traditional forms of humor. the unexpected is the punchline; you don’t have to look into it for hidden social cues
Me to everyone struggling with discrimination like I am - but also worse.
To the trans femmes/trans women of colour who are systematically oppressed. Who get assaulted by "peace" officers and faced with gross uses of "power" (control) from a system that doesn't care, and so they get penalized-or they get murdered every year.
To all the other people who forget, like me, that we as LGBTAQI+ people-especially bisexual people, esspecially ace people, especially us trans people, but then again, especially all of us-legally don't have rights beyond just a very basic "workplace discrimination" catchall (and sometimes not even that). We don't have *basic* housing rights, in most cases. We get sneered at, laughed at when/if we complain.
Our families disown us, and we carry on.
Friends drop us after being profiled by the police, and don't return our calls, and we still make dinner for ourselves, run errands, smile at strangers, and pet a cat.
Increasingly, however, the more stories I read, as we're preading awareness of the things that we as LGBT+ people go through, we seem to be facing more of a backlash. And the more I am faced with unsafe housing environments, (including verbal abuse) and not only given no legal protection, but ignored, gaslit, and publicly shamed and humiliated for speaking out against these issues...the more haunted I feel. The harder it's been to fight against the flashbacks and "think positively" (whatever that means).
Increasingly, I feel like crying every time someone gives me a hug. I seriously feel like I would crumble the next time. I feel like I'm holding back tears every time I see people interacting happily, because I get the impression they don't cry themselves to sleep at night, they don't worry, increasingly, if the next microaggression from an ignorant cishet person will cause us to lose our housing, our employment, our reputation..and we'll be told it's "our fault", for being the way that we are, if not outright, then covertly.
I didn't want to say this, but I'm losing hope, I guess is what I'm saying here. I got yelled at for simply watching She-Ra & The Princesses of Power where I live the other day, after trying my darndest to self-soothe when someone on TV had similar triggers as me. I was yelled at for picking up my blockers (which I need to have, to cause me to, if not *want* to live, then at least not want to die), because I'm on an inconsistent "blackout" at this SLE. They said it would be a week. They lied.
Scrutinised when I speak up, and increasingly having limited rights in any so-called "recovery" environment. At this point, if you're not helping us, you're hurting us. If you claim my existence is "political", then please remove yourself from my life (when I am not absolutely forced to talk to you).
I'm tired. I'm tired of being a burden. I don't even have any girlfriends (I'm transfeminine) to talk to, because I was forced to live in a house full of men-even after I explained I have trauma from men.
I literally called four "helplines" I found online from desperation, several times yesterday, and was told that they were "assisting other callers". I keep trying my best to find a counselor and I keep either getting turned away or at least no called back.
I don't know what to do. I'm tired of being "strong". I wish I had a childhood that I could remember, but even beyond that, I would settle for giving myself that now that I'm older..except I know that I can't even do that right now. I feel like I've let myself down. I feel like (and this breaks my heart to say), it was silly to dream.
It matters. Can you hear me? I am holding your hands and telling you it matters because you matter
“I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of a Library.” -Jorge Luis Borges ♡