Latest Posts by jubilexe - Page 4

I miss Remus 👊😔

This chapter was so good btw I’m actually dying for more, every time you update I get giddy

You’re Losing Me Part 12

𝖲𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖩𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌 𝖯𝗈𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖺 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗇𝗈 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋, 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗎𝗇𝖻𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗄𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝖻𝗈𝗇𝖽…𝗈𝗋 𝗌𝗈 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍. 𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖺𝗁𝖺𝗄𝗂, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗉𝗎𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝖩𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗇𝗈 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽 𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌, 𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝖺𝗇’𝗍 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗆 𝗍𝗈 𝖽𝗈 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍. 𝖶𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗉𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗎𝗅𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝗍𝖾𝗌𝗍, 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝗍𝗈 𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋? 𝖮𝗋 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖩𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗌𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽?

A/N: this is a hanahaki au. WC: 3.2k

no remus in this part :( he’ll be back in part 13 also this is literally just a filler chapter all about james lol if you don’t care about his thoughts/feelings you can just skip to the end bc that’s the most important part lols

Twelve days. It’s been twelve whole days since James has seen you; or even heard from you for that matter. Thirteen, if you count the day of the Yule Ball, which he does, because he only got to speak with you for all of thirty seconds before you were whisked away to dance Remus. Then JJ. Then Charles, and Logan. Brennan, Jacob, Vincent. For fuck’s sake, you even danced with Barty for a bit. Fucking Barty!

Not that he blames him, or any of them really. You were a vision that night, of course every bloke would wanna dance with you. James understood. He also understood that as much as he wanted to spend the night partying with his best friend, he should just let you have your fun. Heaven knows you deserved it.

He had told himself that he’d be able to see you the following morning at breakfast. So you can imagine his surprise when your dorm mates told him you had already left; that you were gone when they woke up.

James originally shrugged it off, packing his trunks and boarding the Hogwarts Express with the rest of the marauders, but when he stopped by your house later that day, you weren’t there. Neither were your parents, or your cat. The house was completely empty. James frowned the whole way home, wondering where you could be and most importantly, why you didn’t tell him. After all, you’re best friends, right? If you were going somewhere, surely you would have told him ahead of time… Right?

That was the first day of James’ holiday from hell because when he stopped by the following afternoon, you still weren’t home. And you haven’t been every day since. And James feels like he’s losing his mind. He writes to you but his owl always brings the letter back, he calls you and the phone just rings, he asks the other marauders but they haven’t heard from you either.

“Boys!” Euphemia calls from the foot of the stairs. “Breakfast!”

She waits until she hears the footsteps of James and Sirius running down the hallway before heading towards the kitchen.

“Good morning.” She greets with a smile before taking a sip of her tea.

“Morning!” Sirius smiles, already piling food onto his plate.

“Anything?” James asks, eyes full of hope as he looks at his mum.

“No,” She shakes her head softly. “Sorry lovie. Maybe tomorrow.”

James sighs, shoulders dropping in defeat as he nods his head.

“She’s fine, Prongs.” Sirius assures him.

“How do you know that?” James asks with a frown.

“Mm.” Sirius hums, quickly swallowing his food. “Because we would’ve heard otherwise if she wasn’t.”

James stares blankly at his friend.

“Think about it.” Sirius insists. “If she were hurt, or in danger, or even dead, her parents would tell us. We’re her best friends. The fact that they haven’t, means that there isn’t anything worth reporting. Sometimes no news is good news.”

James covers his face with hands and lets out a deep, annoyed sigh.

“What?” Sirius asks, with a careless shrug.

“Can you just shut up?” James asks, “You’re pissing me off.”

“How am I-“

“James!” Fleamont interrupts, holding an envelope in his hand as he walks in. “You got a-“

James rushes from his seat and snatches the letter from his dad’s hand, only for his smile to drop when he sees who it’s from.

“It’s just Lily.” He grumbles, sitting back down and opening the letter.

Everyone at the table shares a look of confusion at his lack of excitement.

“What’d she say?” Euphemia asks politely. “Is she coming over tomorrow for New Year’s Eve?”

“Yeah.” James nods, folding the parchment back up. “Her and the girls are gonna hang out for a few hours before going back home.”

“Oh. Well that’s nice.” She smiles. “I know how much you like her.”

James hesitates for a moment too long before answering.

“Yeah…” He nods with a timid smile, finally starting to dig into his food. “Right.”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

As promised, the following day Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas all arrived at the Potter residence to hang out. Remus didn’t feel like making the trip, but Peter did, and with Sirius already there, James was finally able to have some fun with his friends. Well, most of them. The only person missing was you.

The group spent hours together, catching up on what they’ve done over break, playing wizards chess, and even a round of quidditch. As the sun started to set, everyone started to head back home since they all had plans to celebrate New Year’s with their families.

“Thanks for coming over.” James tells Lily as they come to a stop in front of the fireplace.

“Thanks for having me.” Lily answers with a smile before crossing her arms. “So…are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

“What?” James asks with a forced laugh. “N-nothings wrong.”

“Oh please.” Lily rolls her eyes. “It’s like there’s been a storm cloud hanging over you all day. What’s up?”

“I just-“

“Wait, let me guess. Y/N?”

“I haven’t seen her or heard from her once since school let out.” James sighs. “We’ve never gone this long without being together. I’m worried about her.”

“I’m sure she’s fine.” Lily says, only to scoff when James rolls his eyes at her.

“Padfoot said the same thing.” He grumbles.

“Then perhaps you should listen.” Lily suggests with a sarcastic grin. “If he’s not worried, then I’m not. After all, he knows her better than I do.”

“Yeah but I know her better than anyone! And I’m telling you, she would never run off like this!” James argues.

“She’s with her family, James! That hardly counts as running off! Look, I know she’s your best friend but I think you’re overreacting. Contrary to what you might think, she does have a life outside of you. She’s allowed to go on holiday with her parents. Even more so considering the year she’s had.”

“Yeah…I guess you’re right.” James admits sheepishly.

“I know I am.” Lily nods with a laugh, to which he rolls his eyes, feigning annoyance.

Lily turns around, prepared to grab a handful of floo powder and go back home before James stops her.

“Hey, Evans. Before you go, what are the chances of you and I going out when we get back to Hogwarts?” James asks.

“Going out as in?”

“As in a date.” He nods, smile dropping when he sees Lily grimace.

“Look, James. I’ll admit you have matured a lot. And you’re not as insufferable as I originally thought you to be, but I just don’t see you that way.” Lily tells him with a frown. “And if I’m being completely honest with you, I don’t think you see me in that way either.”

“What do you mean?” James asks with a confused frown.

“I think you know.” She says cryptically.

“No.” James shakes his head. “I really, really don’t.”

“Realistically speaking, I’m just not the type of girl that I see you with.” Lily shrugs. “I mean, you’re mischievous and loud and messy- in the best way, of course. But I…I don’t know. I guess I just always pictured you with someone who matches your energy, you know? Someone reckless and carefree and rough around the edges and shamelessly themselves. Someone like….” You immediately pop into Lily’s head and her eyes widen in realization. “Oh…my god.”

“What?” James asks, even more confused than he was a minute ago.

“Oh my god!” Lily exclaims.

“What?” James asks again, more urgently this time. “What? What is it?”

“It’s you.” Lily breathes.

Suddenly it all makes sense, why you wouldn’t tell anybody who was causing your hanahaki, why you kept saying that it didn’t matter because he, whoever he was, didn’t love you back, why James was so distraught when you were fighting, why he was always so protective over you. You love James. And Lily’s just now realized that he loves you too. Now she just needs him to realize it.

“What are you on about?” James asks in exasperation.

“James, kiss me.” Lily suddenly blurts out.

“What?!” James all but shrieks. Lily just rejected him but now she’s asking him to kiss her? How does that make any sense?

“Kiss me.” She repeats with a nod.

“I-You literally just said-“

“Oh for fucks sake! Just kiss me!” Lily shouts in annoyance.

“Okay!” James shouts back before stepping forward and placing his lips upon hers.

For years James had thought about what it’d be like to kiss Lily and now that he has, the only word that comes to mind is: lackluster. There were no sparks, no butterflies, no nerves. His heart didn’t start racing and his hands didn’t sweat. James finally did it. He finally kissed Lily and it was…disappointing. It wasn’t at all like when he-

“Oh.” He says simply, pulling away with a confused frown. He’s waited years for this. So why didn’t he feel anything?

“Not what you were expecting, right?” Lily asks softly.

James shakes his head.

“Could it be possible that you were thinking of someone else when you were kissing me just now?” She asks, a knowing twinkle in her eyes.

As soon as Lily asks that, your face flashes in his mind. He remembers years ago when you both got trapped under a mistletoe you yourselves had jinxed. He remembers the slight pang he felt in his chest when you wiped your lips on the back of your hand with a frown as you ran off. He remembers how his own lips seemed to be tingling for hours afterwards.

He remembers just two months ago when you snuck out to Hogsmeade together, and when he kissed you during the walk back to the castle. He remembers how natural it felt, how right it was, how his heart was beating so fast he thought it might jump right out of his chest. Once James remembers that, those memories, those feelings that he’s tried so hard to bury, it all makes sense.

Lily was everything that you weren’t. From her neatly combed hair to her soft eyes, and airy laugh, you two couldn’t be more different. No matter how hard you tried to tame it, your hair was always a frizzy mess. Your mascara was always the tiniest bit smudged and you have long since stopped attempting eyeliner. Your nails were nice... on the first day; but by the end of the week they’d always be chipped, more often than not from you subconsciously picking at them. Your eyes were hypnotizing. Whenever James met your gaze, it stopped him in his tracks, rendering him speechless; unable to walk, unable to talk, unable to do anything but stare back, absolutely captivated.

And James curses himself for not noticing it sooner, for not noticing you sooner. Lily was the safe route, but James didn’t want safe. He wanted you. You with your mischievous smile and boisterous laugh. You who always has a cut or bruise somewhere on your body because of too much horsing around. You who was always up for whatever James thought of, even if the rest of the boys weren’t. You with your wild hair and smudged make up. You, you, you.

“What’s going on?” Sirius asks curiously, coming down the stairs.

“James finally realized that he’s in love with Y/N.” Lily tells him simply from her spot by the fireplace, floo powder long forgotten.

“Is he aware of the fact that she already loves somebody?” Sirius asks. He looks from Lily to James and his eyes widen. “No way.” He gasps softly. “It’s you?”

James’ legs give out and he falls to his knees when he realizes that he’s the reason for your suffering. The coughing up flowers, the vomiting, the fatigue, the weight loss, the intubation, the needles, he was the cause of it all. For months. It was him.

“Prongs!” Sirius shouts in concern. “Are you okay?”

“Oh god, what have I done?” James sniffles. “It’s all my fault.”

“No.” Sirius and Lily are quick to reassure him.

“You didn’t know.” Sirius insists.

“And she would never hold this against you.” Lily adds. “She lo-“ She cuts herself off but James knows what she was going to say regardless.

“She loves me too much.” He says with a sad shake of his head.

“Come on, Prongs. Let’s get you to bed.” Sirius offers, helping pick James off the ground. James shrugs him off before heading towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Lily calls, though he doesn’t give her an answer.

Sirius takes a step, wanting to follow after him but she grabs his arm, stopping him.

“Let’s leave him alone for a minute.” Lily suggests.

James stands on the sidewalk, staring at your house. He knows it’s empty. He knows you’re not there, but still he walks right up and rings the doorbell.

“Y/N?” James calls. “Are you home?”

He waits three minutes before ringing it a second time.

“Y/N! It’s me! It’s Jamie!” This time he steps away momentarily, peering through the window. The house is empty and engulfed in darkness, he’s just able to make out the furniture, and that’s only because he’s spent so much time here over the years.

Eyes starting to fill with tears, James walks back to the front door and starts banging on it.

“I love you!” He finally confesses, even if you aren’t there to hear it. “Y/N, please! I’m sorry! I love you!”

James leans his head on the door, finally letting the tears fall.

“I’m sorry for everything.” He sniffles. “I-I didn’t know.”

He wipes his eyes before knocking on your door once more.

“Darling, please.” He begs. “I love you.”

“Hey! What are you doing over there!”

James turns around and sees an elderly man standing on the sidewalk staring at him suspiciously.

“Oh. Hello sir.” James greets, wiping his face before walking towards the man. “Do you know the family that lives here? Do you know where they went? Or when they’ll be back?”

“They’ve been gone for weeks.” The man tells him, still eyeing him warily. “Don’t know when they’ll be back. Just asked me to water the plants for them.”

“Oh. Okay. Thank you.” James nods sadly.

The man walks across the street into his house, and James stands there for another hour before accepting defeat and walking back to his own home. When he closes the front door, Sirius and Lily are still there waiting for him.

“Prongs! You scared us, mate.” Sirius sighs in relief.

“Yeah, what hap-“

“She wasn’t there.” James says simply, not sparing either of them a glance as he climbs the stairs.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“Move it! Out of the way! Head boy coming through! I’ll start deducting points if you don’t get the fuck out of my way!” James shouts as he makes his way through the crowd.

“Gosh. I don’t think I’ve ever seen James more excited to get to school.” Peter comments.

“That’s because he’s not excited for school, Wormtail.” Sirius corrects. “He’s excited to see his girl.”

“His girl?” Peter repeats with a confused frown.

“Have you not been paying attention at all? Y/N!”

“But she’s not his girl.” Peter argues.

“Wormtail, Wormtail, Wormtail.” Sirius sighs. “Don’t you get it? Y/N loves James. James loves Y/N. She was gone during holiday which is why they didn’t talk things out. But now that they’re both back-“

“They’re gonna get together?” Peter guesses.

“Now you’re getting it.” Sirius nods. “Now come on, I don’t wanna miss the mushy reunion.”

“Shouldn’t we wait for Moony?” Peter asks.

“If he wanted to bear witness to this monumental moment, he would have ridden the Hogwarts Express with us. We’ll just have to catch him up when he gets here.”

With that, both boys hurry to find James who had essentially left them behind in his effort to find you.

To say that James was excited would be an understatement. The final week of holiday felt so much longer now that he had realized he was in love with you. The pain he felt whenever he thought of you was immeasurable. He broke your heart. Accidentally, but he broke it all the same. And he broke his in the process. But it’s okay now, because he’s finally realized that he loves you back. James can pick up the pieces. He can mend your broken heart and you can finally, finally be together.

As if the gods knew exactly who he was looking for, there you were, making your way across the courtyard. James sees you and for a moment he forgets how to breathe. You’re just as beautiful as always, if not more so. There’s a healthy glow to you and your smile is so genuine and full of life. Did you cut your hair while you were gone? It looks a few inches shorter than he remembers. Shaking his head at himself, James takes a shaky breath before calling out to you.

“Y/N!” He shouts, getting the attention of you as well as half the students in the courtyard. You smile and tilt your head to the side in confusion as you turn to him and James absolutely beams as he makes his way towards you. He always thought your confused expression was the cutest thing he’s ever seen. The fact that from now on he’ll be able to tell you as much and kiss you senseless has his heart racing.

As soon as he reaches you, James cups your face in his hands and presses his lips firmly against yours. Tilting his head to the side, James can’t help but sigh. He kisses you and he thinks this is the closest to heaven he’ll ever get. He curses himself for denying his feelings for you as long as he did. He was a coward. He was an idiot. He wasted so much time already, he’ll be damned if he wastes one moment more. James nips at your lower lip with his teeth and that’s when you push him off of you.

“Ugh! What the hell are you doing?” You ask with a frown.

“No, Y/N. It’s okay.” James smiles, trying to take a step closer to you. “I love you now.”

“Um, okay?” You say, frown deepening as you hold your arm out, stopping him in his tracks. “Not sure if this is your first day on planet earth or what but you can’t just go around kissing people. Especially if you don’t know them!”

James’ smile drops as he registers what you’ve just told him.

“What? Darling, what are you talking about?” James asks with a confused laugh. “It’s me. It’s-“

“Petey Pie!” You exclaim, walking past James and pulling Peter into a tight hug.

“I told you not to call me that!” Peter whines, cheeks turning a brilliant shade of red at the nickname.

“Look how tall you are!” You beam, completely ignoring what he just said.

“You think so?” Peter asks with an excited grin, no longer annoyed.

“Are you kidding? Look at you!” You insist, holding your hand by your head before holding it towards him to show him the difference.

“Don’t tell him that. He’s gonna get a big head.” Sirius teases.

“No one’s head is bigger than yours, Padfoot.” You tease, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a hug as well. “Missed you, ya slag.”

“Watch it.” Sirius warns, pinching your side playfully. “Missed you, too.”

“Y/N-“ James tries, only to be completely ignored.

“How was your holiday?” You ask looking between Peter and Sirius.

“I got the channel F!” Peter exclaims excitedly.

“No way! The game console?” You ask, equally excited.

“Yeah!” Peter nods. “It’s so fun! You have to come over so we can play!”

“Of course!” You nod before turning to Sirius. “And how was your holiday?”

“It was…fine.” He says, looking from you to James in confusion. “I spent it James.”

You look over your shoulder to where he pointed and quickly look away when you see James staring at you.

“Oh yeah?” You ask courteously. “That’s cool.”

“Y/N, can we please ta-“

“Y/N!” Charles exclaims, letting out a low whistle as he scans you from head to toe. “You look great!”

“Thank you!” You beam. “You look like you wanna take me out on a date.”

“I do?” He asks, looking from you to your friends.

“He does?” James asks softly, heart breaking as he takes in the scene in front of him.

“Yup.” You nod confidently, ignoring James once again.

“Well in that case, Hogsmeade on Saturday?” Charles asks, raising his brows at you.

“Can’t wait.” You grin with a wink. “In the meantime, you can walk me to my common room.”

Without so much as a glance at James, you link your arm with Charles and walk away, heading towards the Gryffindor tower. James, Sirius, and Peter all silently watch you walk off.

“What the fuck just happened?” Sirius asks.

HELP

Hehe I am so excited for this fic 😈

Break the Tension Chapter List

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Warnings/tags: 18+; Enemies to lovers, sexual tension, smut, semi-public sex

When Marci first asked you to be the Maid of Honor at her and Foggy’s wedding, you'd already been forewarned that your old college rival from Columbia, Matthew Murdock, would be Foggy’s Best Man. And while you'd expected a long weekend filled with tension between the pair of you, you hadn't anticipated all of the sexual tension–or the sex.

Chapter List

Chapter One: The Arrival {Coming Soon}

Chapter Two: The Rehearsal Dinner

Chapter Three:

Chapter Four:

Selling pins who wants one?

WE ARE SO BACK!!!!

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

We all knew it wasn’t a hiatus.

“u look tired” I’m literally going insane.

the bond between a girl and their favorite fictional man is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object

don't fucking interrupt me when i'm reading my x reader fics it's rude

Yeah, I'm fine

*Types "<character name> x reader" into tumblr search bar*

It’s that time of year where I rewatch Teen Wolf/The Vampire Diaries/The Originals/Supernatural and feel like Y/N again.

Lmao!! It’s been a minute.

this fucks

"it's unhealthy to read fanfiction"

well i'm doing my 20 minutes of daily reading so...

UGH CRYING SOBBING 😫

NEXT CHAPTER WHENNNNNNN

All These Years [Part 5: "Graduation"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: You met Matthew Murdock unexpectedly at Columbia University and you couldn't deny that there was an instant attraction–for you. But for Matt, you became as close of a friend to him as Foggy did. As the years pass by, your feelings only grow for your best friend, but all you can do is watch as he dates and sleeps with every other woman on campus and eventually in New York City but you.

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut

Word Count: 4.2k

a/n: This one hurts a little differently than the others. But oh, the next installment will be interesting...and that one is tentatively titled "Jealous and Impolite," but the title may change a tad when I have it written out. And we're pretending Foggy and Matt briefly get an apartment together at the beginning of their internship but then have their own place shortly before they open their own firm (but it's not really important besides Matt's upcoming nighttime hobby). The list of installments for this series can be found here. And feedback is always appreciated!

Tag list: @acharliecoxedfan @theetherealbloom @rotscinema @magnumstyles @roseallisonparker @ofmusesandsecrets @readerhead @paracosmic-murdock @v4leoftears @why-always-me-gosh-please @redbircl @keepingitlokiii @yarrystyleeza @mattkinsella2 @ms-murdockswift

Weaving your way around the crowds of people milling about in different directions outside on the campus lawn, your hands nervously fidgeted with the powder blue cap held between them. Your robes swished around your bare calves as you navigated the uproar around you, the weight of them uncomfortable over your dress on this warmer late May afternoon. All the while your eyes searched for Matt and Foggy among the chaos as you maneuvered your way around group after group of people. 

Your graduation ceremony had finished just before theirs, but you'd stayed behind in order to watch the pair of them walk, just like you’d promised them you would. You hadn't had a chance to see either of them before graduation this morning though, having been too busy getting ready yourself while trying to refrain from vomiting from the nerves swirling in your stomach. And when Matt's name had finally been called out and you had seen him walk across that stage in his own powder blue cap and gown, your heart had nearly stopped in your chest at the sight. It was like time had slowed down to a drag, your eyes following his every movement. He looked so handsome and happy, a broad smile on his face as he accepted the diploma cover. It wasn't until he'd walked off the stage that you had realized you'd been holding your breath, a wide smile spread across your own mouth. 

After his breakup with Elektra, Matt’s motivation had significantly plummeted. He’d been a mess for weeks, barely ever wanting to leave his bed and attend classes. He often said it wasn’t because of her, trying to deny it everytime you or Foggy tried to comfort him over the situation, but you and Foggy knew better. Matt hadn’t been himself for a very long time after Elektra had broken his heart. He’d even almost missed an important exam that he needed to pass in order to graduate the other week. If it hadn’t been for Foggy forcing him to get out of bed and get dressed and then practically dragging him to the exam himself, Matt would surely have missed it and he wouldn’t have been walking across that stage today. 

And the thought of that killed you, knowing just how much it had meant to Matt to graduate with this degree. How hard he’d been working for years for it. He had always been so incredibly passionate about law and about wanting to help those who weren’t fortunate enough to be able to afford good legal representation in the future. He’d been like that since the day you’d first met him in the library. You had spent many a night over the past couple of years listening to him and Foggy debate different topics in their dorm room–ethics often being a big one between them. And the way Matt always spoke so eloquently and intensely about his love and desire to help others had only steadily grown your love for him in return over the years you’d come to know him. He had the most compassionate heart of anyone you’d ever met and he had the most brilliant mind to accompany it. So it only broke your own heart further seeing him giving up on his dreams ever since she had disappeared. Which had once again only given you further reason to hate Elektra–she’d come into his life in a whirlwind and left a mess of the man he’d once been in her wake. 

Though while she’d certainly crushed his spirit–withering it away to almost nothing–she hadn’t broken him completely. You and Foggy had spent plenty of time picking up the pieces and putting him slowly back together. Encouraging him to focus on his studies and to let her go. Eventually he’d done just that, and now him and Foggy were off to intern at a large law firm–Landman and Zack. The pair of them had even gotten an apartment together lined up. Meanwhile, you were still waiting to hear back about the position you’d interviewed for last week, hoping you would have the funds to continue to pay for the apartment you’d recently leased. You were waiting on that news to come some time today, though.

The sound of your name being called out from behind you drew you to a stop and pulled you straight from your thoughts. Your brows furrowed as you spun in a circle, searching for whoever it was that might have been calling for you. A few seconds later, your eyes scanning the throngs of people around you, you finally spotted Foggy and Matt emerging from the masses. Both men were grinning wide, Matt holding onto Foggy’s forearm as Foggy led the pair of them over towards you. They were clutching their diploma covers under an arm, the sight still surreal.

“I didn’t think I’d ever find you two!” you exclaimed, making your way towards them.

“It’s a goddamn madhouse here!” Foggy shouted back, the grin never leaving his mouth. “And don’t you look stunning in that baby blue potato sack!”

You laughed, shooting Foggy the finger before your eyes shifted to Matt. The pair of them came to a stop just before you and you felt your heart speed up in your chest as your eyes took in the sight of Matt in his cap and gown. His dark glasses were covering his eyes, but nothing could hide the glow of sheer happiness and excitement on his face as he beamed back at you. You tried hard to fight the ridiculous smile on your own face as you stared at him for a moment, but you noticed Foggy beside him had certainly caught the stupid, dopey smile you were aiming at Matt. Heat rose up to your cheeks as you glanced down in embarrassment, grateful Matt couldn’t see it himself.

“We fucking did it!” Foggy cried out. 

“I can’t believe it still,” you admitted, running a hand through your hair. “Like, I feel like I still have classes next week to attend. Projects to finish. More boring lectures to heavily caffeinate before so I don’t fall asleep.”

Matt chuckled, the sound warm and comforting to your nerves. He was always so comforting to you, though, you thought. And he never even realized it.

“It might be awhile before it sinks in, but you certainly don’t have all of that to worry about anymore,” he assured you.

“No,” Foggy cut in. “Now we just have to worry about getting jobs and paying bills.”

“Speaking of,” Matt began, his head tilting to the side as he focused in on you, “did you hear back from that company yet?”

Shaking your head a little solemnly, you replied with a soft, “No.”

“Ahh, well,” he said, the smile never leaving his face, “I’m sure you’ll hear back later today with good news. You’re amazing and they’d be morons not to hire you.”

“If only I could put that on my resume,” you joked.

Someone hit your elbow as they barreled past you from behind. You winced, rubbing your arm as you shot them a glare at their back. Beside Matt, Foggy sent you a sympathetic look.

“Why don’t we get out of this post-ceremony chaos?” he suggested. “Before the next one starts?”

Your eyes darted around, taking in the neverending streams of people. There was a sea of powder blue almost everywhere you looked.

“Yeah, I think that’s a great idea,” you agreed.

Matt quickly shifted his diploma cover to his hand, extending the arm he wasn’t hanging on to Foggy with out towards you. Your eyes dropped down to it, your brows drawing together in confusion.

“Here, you want to hold on to me?” Matt asked, his arm still offered towards you. “I don’t want to lose you out here. I know I can’t actually see the chaos ensuing, but I can certainly hear it. Sounds pretty bad.”

Switching your own diploma to the other hand, you reached out and looped your arm through Matt’s. He drew you in close to his side immediately after, taking you by surprise when your hip bumped up against his thigh under his graduation gown. Foggy peering around Matt completely cut off whatever reaction your body was about to have to that contact instantly.

“Hey, you want to come with us to grab lunch?” Foggy asked. “My family wanted to celebrate last minute and I know yours couldn’t be here today. You want to join us?”

The three of you began walking, Foggy and you navigating the group of you around the masses of people as Matt fell in step between you both. Your hip kept brushing up against Matt’s thigh though and it was taking every ounce of your focus to ignore it as you walked.

“Oh, lunch?” you asked, hip yet again bumping Matt’s solid thigh. 

“You’d make me feel less like the weird, adopted child,” Matt joked.

You laughed lightly, turning your body just at the last moment towards Matt to avoid bumping into a couple walking past you. You felt his arm tense around yours as your chest briefly pressed against him before you swiftly pulled back away. 

“I uh, I can’t,” you answered quickly, trying to ignore whatever weirdness you’d just caused. “I haven’t finished packing up my dorm fully. Sort of wanted to get it done before dinner tonight.”

Foggy peered around Matt again, catching your eye. “You’re still coming over to celebrate tonight at least, right?” he asked. “Because I’ll be mad at you if you don’t.”

You scoffed loudly, rolling your eyes. “Are you kidding me, Nelson? Of course I’m coming over to celebrate our last night in our dorms. Why the hell would I miss that?” you asked.

“Just making sure,” he said.

The three of you finally made it away from the ceremony location, coming to a stop just before one of the main paths on campus. People were still milling about, but it was at least vastly less populated here. You slipped your arm out from underneath Matt’s, his head snapping towards you at the loss of contact.

“This is where we part ways for now then, boys,” you said. “Enjoy your lunch and I’ll see you both later. I’ve got some packing to finish.”

“You’re missing out!” Foggy called after you.

You turned, heading the familiar path back to your residence hall, your heels clicking along the sidewalk as you went. 

“Don’t I know it,” you muttered to yourself, your mind already wandering back to Matt.

°•°•°•°•°•°

Legs crossed on the end of Matt’s bed, you were staring at Foggy across the room. He was passed out, lying half upright against the headboard of his own bed, his mouth hanging open as he snored lightly. The empty pizza box of the pizza the three of you had devoured a bit ago sat open on the end of his mattress.

“Told you he’d be the first to pass out,” Matt said behind you.

You rolled your eyes at his comment, your head turning back towards him. He was leaning against his headboard, one leg crossed over the other in his dark sweatpants. His arms were behind his head, a smile on his mouth. He looked the picture of relaxed as he lay there, his eyes fixed near you on the end of his bed. It never ceased to amaze you how unfairly attractive he was at all times.

“Foggy always passes out first,” you pointed out. “Not really anything new there, Murdock.”

He laughed lightly, nodding his head. “You have a point,” he agreed. “Suppose it wouldn’t be our last night here if it didn’t involve Foggy passing out early after a handful of beers.”

A heaviness hit you in the chest at Matt’s words, your eyes dropping down to your lap. Your fingers played with the hem of your jeans, a soft sigh leaving you. Matt’s foot gently nudged your knee, drawing your attention back up to his face. His dark brows were drawn together, a deep crease forming on his forehead. His head tilted to the side as he studied you with a slight frown.

“What’s up?” he asked. “Thought you’d be more excited. We just graduated. You got the job you wanted–which I mean, I already knew you would. But this is supposed to be a good night. Why the sullenness?”

Because I also won’t have nights like these ever again.

“I am excited,” you admitted slowly. “But I mean it’s–it’s a little bittersweet, isn't it? Hanging out with you and Foggy was my routine for a couple of years now. Coming over here and studying with you guys. Or just drinking and hanging out and ordering incredibly strange combinations of takeout.”

Matt broke into a laugh, the bright sound cutting you off. “Certainly some strange combinations. Foggy is a genius when it comes to ordering the right food when you’re drunk though,” he mused.

“Yeah, he is,” you agreed, a sad smile on your lips. “And that was our thing for years. But now?” You shrugged lightly. “I won't be able to just walk to the residence hall beside mine and hop on an elevator to reach your guys' place. There's no more sitting around eating pizza and drinking beer late at night after tonight.” You felt your eyes welling up with tears and you immediately focused back on your fidgeting hands. “Now we’re getting apartments and jobs. Becoming adults. Needing sleep because we work."

And I’m losing you.

Your heart twisted in your chest at the thought. Sure, you weren’t leaving New York City and neither were they–hell, you were all moving into Hell’s Kitchen. But how long before your lives went in separate directions? Before they settled down and became successful lawyers who ran in entirely different circles than you? When would your friendship suddenly fall away?

“Hey,” Matt said softly.

The tone of his voice caught your attention and you looked back up at him. You watched him scoot over on the bed, his left hand coming down and patting the space beside him. Your lip slipped between your teeth as you nervously chewed it.

“Come sit with me?” he asked.

Unable to ever refuse Matt, you uncrossed your legs and made your way gradually over to the top of his bed. Sitting down beside him, you leant your back against his headboard and settled in next to him. It took you by surprise when Matt easily slipped his left arm around your shoulders and drew you further into his side until your head inevitably rested along his shoulder. Your hands awkwardly clasped together in your lap, feeling unsure what to do with them. Matt had never really been this forthright with you before. 

“It is a little bittersweet,” he agreed gently. “You and Foggy have become like the family I never really had while I’ve been here. And you–you both mean a lot to me.” 

He blew out a breath slowly, your head falling with the movement of his shoulder. You noticed he smelled really good, as if he’d put on a faint bit of cologne today. Something you never really noticed him doing before. Your head turned just a bit in towards his neck as you tried to breathe in the scent of him a little more, committing it to memory.

“Things are changing, sure,” he continued, “but I still plan to be here as long as you are. I don’t think anything can separate the three of us.”

“You say that now,” you mumbled. “But you don’t know how the next few years are going to go.”

His arm lightly shook you, your name falling from his lips so softly. The sound of it drew the corners of your mouth up ever so slightly.

“You are one of my absolute best friends,” Matt admitted. “And as long as you want my dumb ass as your friend, I’ll always be here.”

You snorted in amusement, shaking your head against his shoulder and ignoring that dull ache that always hit you when Matt called you his friend. 

“You’re the furthest thing from being a dumbass,” you said. “Especially with your fancy new law degree now.”

He chuckled, the sound a pleasant, deep rumble in your ears. You smiled, eyes dropping closed as you leaned further into him. You wanted to memorize every detail of this moment with him, to commit it to memory in your mind forever, because you were certain you’d never have another moment like this again with Matt. Not after college. He'd certainly be bombarded with beautiful women left and right, especially as a successful lawyer. Eventually he’d find someone and settle down with them. And you would slowly fade from his life no matter what he said. 

Your eyes tightened a little harder, fighting back the threat of tears at that thought. You didn’t want to think about the day Matt was no longer a part of your life.

"We can still get together on the weekends," Matt told you. "Maybe Saturday nights? We can make it a thing, even."

"Fog said you guys were going to be insanely busy at that internship," you pointed out, fighting to keep your voice from cracking. "Working weekends even."

Matt shrugged in response, your head rising and falling with the movement yet again. You felt his hand begin to gently rub along your arm, the gesture confusing as much as it was comforting you. Matt had never touched you like this before, had never wanted you close to him like this. He must have been experiencing that same bittersweet nostalgic feeling you were with knowing both your lives were about to change drastically. 

"We'll figure it out," he promised you. "We're bound to take breaks at some point, right? We'll make it work. I'm not losing you."

Your hands balled into fists in your lap, your jaw tightening at what he’d said. Those last four words hung heavy in the air between the pair of you. The desire to suddenly spill forth your feelings to Matt was almost unbearable. Whether it was from the excitement of the day, the three beers you’d had tonight, the nervous fear of how things were about to change, or the way Matt’s hand was still soothingly gliding back and forth along your arm, you somehow found yourself wanting to tell him how you felt. You desperately wanted him to know how much you’d loved him for years. 

Your fingernails dug into your palms from where your hands were still balled up. The thought of having that weight lifted from your shoulders was so tempting. You just wanted to stop hiding it from him, to stop holding yourself back. You just wanted to say it, just once.

But you knew you couldn't ultimately say anything at all. Matt had said it himself multiple times tonight already–you were his friend. Like family to him. He wouldn’t want to hear you express your love for him in any way that wasn’t strictly familial and platonic.

“I wish my dad had been here today,” Matt whispered.

With a shaky exhale, your eyelids flew back open and you pushed your previous thoughts aside–as you'd done many times before. You focused on Matt instead. Shifting your head along his shoulder, you looked up at him beside you. His lips were pulled into a deep frown, the sorrow written plain as day in his eyes as he stared blankly across the room. The sight had your heart squeezing in your chest exactly like it had done that day you’d seen him after Elektra had smashed his heart.

You knew how much he loved his father and how much he missed him. He’d had a very deep conversation with you one night, a little over a year ago, spilling his heart to you about his father's death. He’d told you how it had affected him. He’d even confessed that he hadn’t ever told Foggy all of that before, that he’d only ever told you. And you had felt honored he would even open up that much to you, expressing such deep, personal feelings. Especially because Matt didn’t let people in easily.

“He was here in his own way today,” you assured him. “And he’d be proud of you, Matt. You graduated at the top of your class. From an Ivy League law school.”

"I just wish I could tell him," he whispered. "Hear what he'd say to me."

Hesitantly you tested his boundaries, lifting your arm and carefully wrapping it around his waist. When he didn't protest, you gently squeezed him in a hug, drawing yourself closer.

"He'd say you're still his smarty pants son, I'm sure," you answered.

A small, almost sad laugh fell out of Matt, his other hand coming up to cover yours. A warmth gradually felt like it filled you as Matt’s thumb lightly stroked the backs of your knuckles. You had no idea what it meant that the pair of you were cuddled up on his bed together like this, but you were just going to let yourself enjoy it tonight. You didn’t want to ruin this moment with reality.

"I can't believe you remembered that I told you he called me that," he whispered. 

"I remember everything you tell me, Matty," you replied. “Especially the important things.”

There was a moment of silence before both of Matt’s hands stopped their absent, almost affectionate movements against your arm and your hand. You frowned, wondering if he’d finally decided the pair of you had crossed some boundary too far out of friendship, especially with what you’d just said. But then his hand released yours, landing gently and almost hesitantly on your neck. You swallowed hard when his fingertips took a slow glide up the length of your throat until his palm could cup your cheek. Carefully he pulled you away from his shoulder, angling your face up towards his as he whispered your name. 

He was looking down at you with his brows slightly drawn together, something unexplainable hidden in his eyes. You couldn’t quite make sense of what it was, your own eyes narrowing back at him as they jumped back and forth between his. His face was so close to yours though, you quickly realized. The warm exhalations of his breath from his slightly parted lips falling against your own mouth each time.

Was he going to kiss you? Surely not…

“You are…absolutely amazing,” he whispered. “And I–I–”

Your heart sped up in your chest, that almost fight or flight reaction abruptly coursing through you. You were almost afraid as you sat there gazing back at Matt, terrified you were steadily letting yourself get your hopes up for something that wasn’t going to happen. You could feel it happening already, that desperate yearning for more only rapidly increasing your panic.

Matt’s gaze shifted from yours, darting across the room towards Foggy for a moment as he winced. His eyes closed briefly before he turned his focus back on you, his sightless eyes falling along your left cheekbone. He winced again–the action incredibly minute this time–before he spoke.

“And I don’t ever want to lose you as my friend,” he finished. “And I just–just want you to know that.”

Your heart sank to the floor at his words. You knew they were coming, you knew it, yet they still managed to hurt. That panicked feeling inside of you quickly dissipated, your body quickly trying to become numb to this moment. Of course he wasn’t about to kiss you and confess his feelings to you. How unrealistic would that have been.

But you realized he was still staring back at you, an expression on his face that further confused you as he clearly waited for you to respond. Pulling away from him, the moment entirely soured to you now, you forced a smile onto your face as his hand fell from your cheek.

“I uh, I don’t want to lose your friendship either, Matt,” you said, forcing to keep your voice even. “But it’s–it’s late. Maybe I should let you get some sleep. We’ve both got a big move tomorrow.”

“Right, yeah,” he said softly, nodding.

You slid away from Matt, making your way to the edge of the bed before climbing off of it. Awkwardly you turned back around towards him, your eyes taking in the sight of him on his dorm room bed for what would be the last time ever. A flood of emotions struck you all at once like a punch to the gut, the weight of this being the end of an era really hitting you in this moment. Things were changing.

“Don’t be a stranger, Matty,” you whispered.

He shot you a tense, sad smile. “I won’t,” he promised.

You spun on your heel, crossing your arms across your chest tight as you made your way out of their dorm room for the last time. It wasn’t until you’d finally made it back to your own building that the tears began to fall. 

Maybe, you thought, it was time for you to let Matt just be your friend. Maybe now it was time to crush that ridiculous lingering hope you’d had for there to ever be something more between you two once and for all.

Maybe you needed to move on.

no, you wanna fix him. i wanna fix him a drink after he beats someone half to death. we’re not the same.

me @ y/n when they do something i’d never do:

like babe this isn’t us ?? get it together

I see no lies.

the "you're cargo" to "it's okay, babygirl" to "it wasn't time that did it" pipeline goes so fucking crazy bro

the look of pure rage on joel’s face when henry prevents him from going to help ellie as she is being attacked… pedro pascal you fucking asshole. the look on henry’s face as he realizes what he has done… the way he says “sam”… lamar johnson you fucking king. the little scream ellie does when henry shoots himself… bella ramsay you fucking angel. THAT scene was brutal.

"I don't have a type-"

oh apocalyptic father figures...

What Netflix says:

What the audience sees:

How are you gonna bring back the Nogitsune without Stiles or Kira?

i am living for these captions both as a fan of ghost files and as a swiftie

I can’t say I’m surprised but What

Why is this so true?

Meme made by Inknopewetrust