Don't Be Stubborn, Don't Be Stupid.

In the backdrop of dark inner thoughts, wounded with slivers of hope, I take solace in your aura.

The beating of your heart, drowning out the inner doubt that screams inside me, if they get through I push against your chest harder, for tonight I cling to you.

I don't come to you for redemption. I don't grip you tight out of desire to hold you down.

In this world of darkness and cold, I come to you because it feels right in my soul.

The deep painful introspective looks in the mirror at myself, have the same weight as someone's judgmental take on me, as they pass by with their first impressions as they judge either how I look, or how they chose to see me.

Either way it's as soothing to my soul as standing in one spot, barefoot on hot blacktop as the sun beats down upon it.

Maybe I never get to put away the knife, or better yet forget where I laid it. I'd settle for wiping it off on my sleeve and putting it in its sheath.

The untrusting darkness in me, combined with the auras that decide to pass by instead create the need to clench it so hard in my hand my knuckles turn white.

Fractured thoughts converge, tinting my field of vision around me.

It's not fear, but weariness.

I rather would choose the darkness or at least the shadows than to be laid bare in the unforgiving sun.

To bathe in the moonlight is to heal, to weather my skin to handle the torment of my waiting demons.

I see the silence in their touch, I hear the cold embrace against my skin.

At least their companionship is steady, the cuts, bruises, the crimson trail of thoughts they plant is expected.

I don't embrace them, but I've learned to depend on them for at least a normalicy in my life.

Without my anxiety, my demons that remind me in my sleep not to ware dream of a fairy tale life, I'd be tempted to trust those around me.

Instead I live looking for patterns... What do they want?what do they seek from me? What can I do for them?

Once they take a look at my face, or my intense soul the majority show themselves as weak, selective, callus in how they change, turn, ignore, block, or disappear.

Trust....

What the fuck is that anyway?

Unconditional acceptance... Yeah ok.. Now that's a beautiful fantasy.

I would rather be labeled too intense, or untrusting, I would rather always hold my knife and count on one hand those that may actually give a fuck about me, then to live like the lemmings that think popularity in numbers is love, or that kind words aren't laced with dark intentions.

The moon embrace the sun.. ☀️💛🌙

I love you, I miss you.

Even in the darkness of the moon, one is not alone.

Coffee, a good book, comfortable silence with my moon, absolutely a perfect way to spend a post Christmas Saturday.

I want to be your safe harbor.

I strive to make sure a day never passes, where I haven't laid bare all my thoughts to you.....

🥰 He gives Her no reason to doubt it 🥰

This reminds me of my moon..... We both railroad our thoughts, most the time too much to control. She calms my mind.

I search for you.... your trail... the scent of your blood as it courses through your veins.

I see the fingerprints you lay.

If you get deep enough, real enough, learn each other completely, then there is no hiding.

They can feel your aura, they can read your silence, put together thoughts in words unsaid.

This level is scary at first, but so very beautiful.